The Chateau Diaries #310 What does Phillip do for a living? NOTHING!

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I seem to recall they also made candles soon after the Fleuries revealed their candles. And let’s not forget this past December they did Advent vlogs.

Stewie was particularly mad today. Their chapel is a joke. Looks like a storage shed. Nothing about it is interesting or attractive. A half dozen people could barely fit in it. Maybe they could let their dogs sleep in it.
 
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Wednesday - up at 4:30 am to get out to Heathrow to meet Mummy & Percy (+Scotman playing his usual fool)

- Percy & Mummy do not look well enough to travel. Percy brings transport through the airport.
- Percy has come prepared for the shitoo - wearing a ski jacket

After a long overnight flight from SA, the last thing I would want to do:
- go to a road side coffee shop at Interchange 22 for breakfast
- go shopping at TJ Maxx with my shopaholic daughter (supposed to be looking for clothes for Mummy, but ofcourse end up in homewares)
- buy pore stripes and a stuffed animal for Leftalot
- drive from Heathrow up to Stansted to drop of my lazy daughter




 
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I think Pottie went to London also. Pottie, Muumy, Percy,Fanny, and likely Baghead are having another emergency damage control meeting and don’t want paid castmate nosy Snorty present. Fanny also wants her sexy time with Pottie.Mummy will have to prepare her script for viewing the chapel and start practicing her reactions for the camera in a way to try to squeeze more money out of viewers.

Stephanie probably shopped at Harrods, Fortnum and masons, etc. Bullshit on her hour long bus rides.
 
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PORSCHE ALERT!!!!!

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Fanny left the porsche at the Limoges Airport and says many people having been asking about the Porsche
- says that Andrew still owns it, but he has offered to sell it to her for €26,000, interest free, payable over payable over 1-2 years
- Fanny:
  • feels safe in the Porsche
  • can edit in the Porsche while Snorty drives without feeling sick
  • would prefer a convertible
  • says Mummy thinks she should buy, but will wait until Mummy & Percy drive in it
  • says Snorty doesn't mind either way - BS
  • asks patrons what the poor little princess should do
-
 
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Bullshit. payments over two years, she purchased it during the October 23, 2023 visit from Andrew. She isn’t making payments for two years. What an absolute pathological lying con artist see how she is. Encouraging patrons to put forth comments supporting the poor little orphan princess who were pulling over $1 million in 12 months from master begging and fleecing grannies but still will not pay to take her damn dog to the vet or get the dog tick and flea medicine?

Look at her bullshit and blatant emotional manipulation. Pretending to wait until blind Mummy and weekend at Bernie’s Percy drive the car to make a decision? She has owned it since October, 2023. It looks like Andrew and his partner are financial blow hards and are having to liquidate assets, likely selling it to Fanny in October, 2023. She is such a transparent fraud,

Stephanie Jarvis is a pathological liar and con artist, every day, all day. No exceptions.So predictable. What kind of a con drives a vehicle for 6 to 7 months thousands of miles in several different countries and doesn’t insure the vehicle herself? She’s a scumbag either way. She purchased the vehicle in October, 2023 and it has been registered and insured in her name since that time.
 
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Of course she will buy it! Then trade it in on a convertible.
 
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I hadn't thought of that one. Sneaky. Clever Gracie.
She really wants that Mercedes convertible. Remember that the Mercedes was purchased with grifted funds as a “gift“ to Mummy from Stephanie. I don’t believe Mommy is going to stay long at the dump and that is unlikely that she will visit the dump much in the future.
 
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I don't know- Fanny is as cheap as they come. "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" They have put THOUSANDS of kilometers on that vehicle, trashed it, and have probably not had it serviced. It went from storing it for a friend to using it as their daily driver. Fanny IS the very type of person who takes advantage of every situation to her own benefit. "It has a lot of miles on it now, and is dirty, so I don't know about buying it- I'll just keep driving it for a few more years to see if I want to buy it."

Thread Nom: The Puffs' Porsche is the world's longest test drive!

I am on the fence about whether she owns it or not- on the one hand, if Andrew still actually owns it, he should be pretty livid about seeing Fanny using and abusing it, and would have sent Ricardo or a mate to get it. It'd be interesting to see what Andrew has to say, but he's gone radar silent- so many questions: is he fleeing the authorities from his nefarious business dealings? Is his mum ill? Did Ricardo leave him? Does he owe Fanny money? Where is the busted up Ford Fiesta?
 
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Stephanie is really playing the thrifty poverty card, isn’t she, trying to detract from the close to $100,000 she spent since the beginning of this year on clothing, auctions, shopping, Snorty, garden shows, charity parties, etc. and getting busted on owning the Porsche AND claiming sole ownership of an apartment in the south of France. Recall, this is the same woman who told lies about getting a free soup toureen as well as an expensive pair of free Bally shoes, and also lied about getting discounts on clothing at the Chelsea flower show in pretending that she is an influencer. Harrods and other high-end department stores are not giving her a discount on clothing. Small high end British clothiers are not giving her a discount on clothing. She never reveals the designer of her clothing in any of her videos or any of her descriptions. Her target audience could not or would not afford or where the majority of what she models. She is not an influencer. She is a bad influence on people trying to develop good taste in clothing. Stephanie Jarvis lies every day, all day. No exceptions.

She is now back to her poverty script,e.g., pretended to take public transportation, shopping at discount stores, not filming her luxury food buys and luxury shopping, and hauling out the once totality blind but miraculously cured Mummy and TB Percy ( who traveled for months with infectious TB) who she will claim to profusely love, petting her mother on the head, and pretending her mother is mentally unstable, confused, weak, or compromised. Look forward to watching Mummy and Percy having to act like they love Ratso.Ratso can easily shred the paper, thin skin on Percy. Mummy will squeeze out a few tears in the chapel, talking about her mother, and how much she would’ve loved to see the chapel restored to a Disney world like garishness.

Interesting that no one has ever seen the Ford fiesta. Is it still waiting for its elusive part?Why didn’t she get the car fixed and use it as an extra car at the dump?of right, because she was lying about the car breaking down.
 
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[
I can hear it now....."you deserve it, Stephanie" "you bring us such joy, give yourself a treat"

Meanwhile, they don't realize that SHE ALREADY OWNS IT!
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The Andrew situation is a bit strange. They bought the house in Berry, France near Fanny for a little over €80,000 and put out a video stating that they spent their entire life savings to buy the dilapidated house and barn. They then invested money to fix up the house and barn, only to sell it for 92 or €93,000, less than a year after purchasing the property. They must’ve suffered a loss on the sale of his property, given the amount of money, they probably spent fixing it up.

They came in like gangbusters, and we’re all over Stephanie like a bad rash, always toting expensive presents, the $2500 ham, faux/ real Hermes blankets for everyone, expensive designer puppies, always treating the dump crew to expensive meals and presents at Christmas, everything very over the top. They had many social media websites, podcast, etc. set up in preparation for YouTube fame When Andrew went to Paris and ate dinner with his mother, they went to a very fancy restaurant. His mother did not seem impressed and did not seem like the type of person who enjoyed a fancy restaurant. Andrew was very particular about the food he wanted, the wine he wanted, and made a big show out of how expensive the restaurant was. His mother really didn’t seem to be into that type of stuff.

I don’t think he would’ve left his only status vehicle at the dump unless he sold it to Stephanie. I wonder if he was moving some stuff out of his house in Berry, when he showed up on a cd video in October, 2023. Perhaps he had a van it was driving the remainder of his furniture or possessions back to the UK, sold the Porsche to Fanny, and headed back home to take care of a sick mother. The care business that the mother and son had was dissolved in 2020. Stephanie said that he had business back in the UK. Perhaps that business was liquidating some assets and having to finalize some tax issues with the dissolution of the business or other businesses that he owned, or business around his mother being in ill health, or breaking up with his husband. There’s no reason he could not take the vehicle back with him to the UK, and no reason why he would let it sit at the dump for months. He sold it to Stephanie, and agreed not to say anything. Stephanie could then make up her lies and figure out how she was going to sell the luxury vehicle to her patrons and viewers on top of her$400,000 + star scam.

My gosh, I believe any person in this forum can easily come up with at least a dozen lies Stephanie Jarvis has told in the past few weeks alone. She really believes that nothing will ever happen to her. Think of the hubris a con artist like Stephanie Jarvis has demonstrated for years, using fake accounts with fake names to post hundreds of comments to manipulate viewers and Patrons. She has no shame in deceiving and conning people ever. She learned her lack of honesty
 
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I can hear it now....."you deserve it, Stephanie" "you bring us such joy, give yourself a treat"

Meanwhile, they don't realize that SHE ALREADY OWNS IT!
---
How Fanny sees herself:


Reality:

 
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It would actually make a perfect place to hang Derek Jarvis art - nice white walls. Also just clear glass would be perfect for the clear light. They could use it as an art studio. It has not been consecrated for over 70 years (at least Stephanie’s chapel is).

The 7 dogs have a dedicated room (never shown) and roam the house including the kitchen. Which will be great for BnB guests.
 
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Despite their questionable characters, I enjoyed Dick and Angel's tour through France. They are lovely presenters without trying to outstage each other. Unfortunately, in my head, I pictured the show with the two idiots which ruined it a bit.
Thanks, Lady A, for the shocking preview summary of the Patreon flog, and also to @graciemckitten for the running commentary.

In anticipation of viewing it myself, I decided to check out Dick and Angel's secret travel show.

I must disagree with your positive assessment of it, @Fleur du mal. I struggled straight off with the clown outfits, his non-stop mansplaining, and her garbled gutter-speak. I packed it in just after 7 minutes of them in Marseilles and will not be continuing. In fact, this is a screengrab of the exact moment I stopped. Read the captioning. Angel is such a buffoon -- those are her exact words. I'd rather watch any train journey of Michael Portillo's over this shite.

 
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Think of just few lies or “ confusing” statements Stephanie has told lately:
  1. I missed my flight from Japan
  2. I found a cheap two bedroom home for myself and pottie ( lie, threee bedroom house)
  3. I’ve been forced to wear a 10 euro dress all over Japan.
  4. I didn’t know until the very last minute that I was going to buy a $200 plus umbrella. Lie.
  5. I happen to get stranded at one of the nicest airports with one of the nicest shopping centers in Japan.
  6. The Ford fiesta broke down
  7. I spent several hours waiting outside a train station by the tracks by myself, the little orphan princess. I couldn’t possibly have gone into the station and waited for anyone.
  8. Ratso loves being swung over my head.
  9. Yes, I know that the auction, where tobacco Johnny purchased the carriages cost me a lot of money, but I’m not gonna say what I purchased. Tobacco Johnny purchase the one item that I wanted and there was another very expensive item that I likely purchased that tobacco Johnny made a joke about the video. Bullshit.
  10. I forgot to look at the weather, and I didn’t have a coat to take with me to the Chelsea Garden show so I picked up a few thousand dollars in clothing for myself and Snorts, which were discounted, because we are influencers for people with bad taste. WTF? Lying again.
  11. It’s amazing, I received as a present from Bally, the exact same pair of shoes that I wanted earlier on a trip to London.
  12. Snorty got a free soup toureen.
  13. I got a free $550 bauble and a $500 scarf free from Ardmore. They just love me and shower me with so many gifts but I worry that they may not be able to make a profit this year.
  14. WHOOPS, I FORGOT ABOUT OWNING AN APARTMENT IN THE SOUTH OF FRANCE. I was so incredibly scared about coming back to the apartment but you, the viewers, gave me the confidence to overcome my fears. Bullshit.
  15. I got a personal tour of the art nouveau house. I swear that I’m not reading pamphlets about the place on camera.I know I said that I hated art nouveau but now I really love it.
  16. Philip and I really share the same bedrooms when we’re visiting at Permasmile’s house or tobacco Johnny’s chateau. We just like to play a game where we both come out a different bedrooms on camera.
  17. I don’t really lock Ratso in a bathroom all night And ignore his whining.
  18. I took Ratso to the vet who said silly eye problems don’t need surgery. He doesn’t need anything. We don’t even need to trim his nails or give him flea and tick medicine.
  19. The chickens all got killed by a Fox, but conveniently left one chicken behind. I know I said that my cousin was going to build the chicken palace back in November but now I have my other complicit employee Kirsty to help cover up what happened to the chickens and build a concrete chicken palace with a special Ratso sized opening so he can go visit his chicken friends.
  20. I know I said that a fox ate all the chickens and no one bothered to film the carnage but it’s still OK for Ratso to harass the peacocks and run around outside the dump unattended.
  21. Amaury really didn’t order the metal containers outside the dump to store wooden panels in. Lie by Stephanie.
  22. My mentos engagement ring is too fragile to wear daily.
  23. The thousands of dollars in Lilysilk clothing are gifts.
  24. All my clothing is from charity shops and second hand designer shops.
  25. Ratso loves to go shopping and ride in the car, even though he vomits multiple times on each trip.
  26. The chickens disappeared 5 to 6 months ago, but I was too heartbroken to break the news to patrons.
  27. I did not take a sexcation with Pottie, I have a fake engagement with my gay fiancé, cast mate actor on the payroll.
  28. Grant at the Dump all the way from Australia, just a haul boxes of books around the dump? He is just my good friend And nobody should say anything because his teenage daughter is present.
  29. we got an upgrade on our room in Venice
  30. We just happen to get a balcony to watch the races
 
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I don't think ANY of our Tartlets/Tartgents will ever see a package of Mentos without thinking of Fanny's engagement ring EVER again! Move over Foreo, there is a new sponsor on Shitoo Diaries! "Mentos fresh and full of life!" (Actually that should be Fanny's replacement line for "Life, Love, and Laughter" in her old intros!)
 
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