The Chateau Diaries #31 Who'll crawl out of the woodwork next?

[KiKiGee]

No mystery, it was the car of the owner of the antique shop. It was mentioned before.

Thank you. Your right, the car BJJ is driving isn't a large SUV.

 

[Milre]

He got the money for his MacBook thanks to a begathon with Steph. They were doing a live and she was teasing him about having to lump his monitor etc to Lalande ... hey presto, the donations started flooding in, and by the end of the session he had enough money to buy his laptop!

Boy Meth-rick is just a lazy fucker who would have spent just one day scrambling to get content for a vlog.

Though I did feel back then that this was unintentionally and really just happend in the Spur of the moment

 

[witchgrass]

I hate when he shows up right after a shower and he looks like a wet poodle. I know he probably doesn’t want to blow dry curly hair but it bothers me.

It bothers me too, and I show up to work like that every morning because of curls. At least I'm alone there for two hours so it can dry before I see the world.

 

[Pno]

Same here. Men are generally unenthusiastic to receive gifts unless they really wanted them (like a new vehicle ).
I also know a few women who are equally unenthused by gifts.

These Cadeaux shows are nothing less than SJ trying to live out her princess dreams, where people from all over the world lavish her with gifts, pay homage to her, and write well wishes, while her subjects (superfans and flying monkeys) watch in awe. After all, she deserves them all because she lives in a castle.

View attachment 537497
View attachment 537498

I can imagine how she sends out memos for when they need to film for Cadeaux.

MEMO

To: All Lalanders (except Marie Wiik)

From: HRH Princess Stephanie

Date: April 19, 2021

Re: Filming for Cadeaux GAG

___________________________________________________________________________________________________

We are filming for Cadeaux on April 24 (Sunday) at 5:00PM in the Grand Salon.

Dress code for each will be as follows:
Selmar, dress up like the Mad Hatter.
Philip, wear something respectable (not your granny's jacket, please.)
Steve, wear something that makes you look slimmer.
Natti, wear something red and your old new pair of left-foot boots. Do not outshine me! I repeat, do not ever outshine me.

Sarah won't be at the filming but she will prepare the food. I want wine, tea, and anything PP is allergic to.

Bravo!

 

[KiKiGee]

POOL POOL POOL POOL POOL POOL POOL but the big dream is a place in Vince telethon. FFS they even sang!!!!

Venice

 

[purejuice]

Couldn't get any of the pictures to open.

It's a miracle that these 15 year old blogs still exist on the internet at all. Somebody is paying for them to stay up as a tribute to the heroism of the late blogger.

 

[Gibson]

If only they were flogging Sadie and Ma in the garden, I might manage to watch that episode! I can't watch Ryan - he's better suited to Children's (Toddler) TV. My 3 yr granddaughter might watch him, her more discerning 9 yr old sister certainly would not.
As fairly recent You Tubers, Dan and the Fleuries have certainly made their mark and overtaken the competition. Anna is classy and gets on with her work, Phillip has a natural wit and I agree that he and Benoit are very entertaining. Full marks for Dan, who with extremely debilitation man flu, still managed to get a video out.

I haven't watched Dan yet, will watch later.

 

[KiKiGee]

Why do you think it might have been a Dutch film crew at the shitoo?

Just a hunch. BJJ, Selmar and Andie all Dutch... I could see the Boy Wonder BJJ, pitching a TV show. Maybe that's why he returned home early this year?

 

[KiKiGee]

It was mentioned earlier this week that in SJ's patrons vlog, a film crew was at the chateau. I am wondering if it was a Dutch film crew?

 

[Rory]

As I understand it’s a nightmare. My friends house, where Nic and Marie are now ‘not staying’, has it’s own boiler, so they had hot water. The rest of the house, all the other appartments (perhaps except the newer ones from IJ and Potty) at best have lukewarm water. Especially the oldest part of the shittoo, has no hot water at all, because its so far from the heating system. Again, she hasn’t invested in any structural approvements. Another begging bowl to come.

Isn't the old part/wing where B&B rooms are?

 

[TheTaxInspector]

Just to make you want to come even more

She's doing her best...

 

[KiKiGee]

A walk down memory lane... @5:54 SJ explains who is responsible for creating this super grift. Now MPK has fallen on his face and SJ continues to build the grift. Laying down marks for the super fans who take a curious peek at what we offer...

 

[witchgrass]

I live in Vermont so I am truly sorry if you took my comment as “classist”. It was not the way it was intended. Here we have virtually no stores so I do most of my shopping online. I do not know where I would be without UPS, FedEx and USPS. Very grateful for them. I even order food items online as we only have two small grocery stores and you cannot get everything there.

No I wasn't calling anyone out at all. I've been joking about poor people stores my whole life to make people who don't have to shop in them laugh. I was just suddenly tired of it.

 

[Viva La Loca]

Bud I’m saying it again - they have arsenic in their water
For one to get follicle fallout - genetic

For 4 of them in one Calendar year .... there’s trouble in them pipes

And she’s their employer

For shame - hope her insurance is up to date

Fortunately for Fanny she arrived at the chateau with a problem
sides cut short and constant comb over
listen to the way Isabelle talks about the shoes to her 17:25

 

[KiKiGee]

I may have them confused with another couple but isn’t one of them a Physician? If so certainly not in the poverty lane.

French Heritage Society
184 subscribers

 

[Linus]

TITLE -- The Chateau Diaries #31 Church of Stephinology : Who'll crawl out of the woodwork next?

Thank you @Jeeves for the new title suggestion
Thank you @Hercule P for compiling a Chateau dictionary! and updates
Thanks to @ploppityplop2 for the intro.
Thanks to @MojoDublin and @Rory for Glossaries.



CD - The Chateau Diaries

Tarts boudoir - Chateau de Lalande
HMN - heap in the middle of nowhere
Flat 34B - bolt hole SJ

LOTL/LOTLL - Lady of the (Lost) Lake, aka Stephanie (b.1975)
SSB- She Who Shouts from the balcony, SJ
QBC- Queen of bed chambers - SJ
MB - Madame Boneyparts -SJ
SJ - Stephanie Jarvis
Fanny - Stephanie Jarvis

MMAF - Mad Man's Arse Face, i.e. mummy
Mini Apron - Isabelle Jarvis (nee Biggio, b.1942) married 1962/3 to Derek Jarvis, widowed 2009, married to Percy Atfield year???

Potty/MP - Michael Potts
Cinder-Ruth- MPotts current squeeze Ruth Kelly (b.1981)

Nitti/Nutty - Nati Oliveto

Floral Roadkill (FRK / RK) - Marie Wiik (b.1991)

BJJ - Baby Jesus Jeans, aka Philip Janssen
PP (Nostril of Lalande) - Prince Philip
UH - Uriah Heep - Philip
Renfield - Philip

MP/MP2/MPK - Michael Petherick (b.1986)
MOLD: Man Of LOST Design - Michael Petherick
Crybaby - Michael Petherick
Sir Trotter BDSM - Michael Petherick
Teabag Trotter - Michael Petherick
Master - Swedish director of Elias Truedsson
BS - Billy Spielberg - Billy Petherick (b.1990)
Trotter, Petherdick - any Petherick family reference
Ma Trotter - Sherrie Petherick
Pa Trotter - Mr Petherick Esq
PILF: The only Petherick I'd like to be filmed with - Pa 'Mick' Trotter

Dear Brenda/BG - Brenda Gibbons (superfan/Facebook admin) from Donegal Ireland
Karen Cbomb - other superfan/admin, Canada
Jumpsuit Jill - rabid serial deletor of unfan comments on premier chat - Jill Scott, New Zealand

Donegals - Limericks (renamed in honour of Dear Brenda)
Agents - Tattlers who find out juicy background info

Chat O (or variations) - Chateau (how Brenda says it)
“BuyMeACoffee” - give me money (no, really, give me money, I really need it)

MBNS;GF - more boring narc stuff; gimme facts

PSDFHB - princess shouting down from her balcony
PRSDBP - princess in her robe shouting down from her balcony at the peasants

Wet Blanket - Fun hoover
Mickey Dodger - Woman who avoids sexual encounters

Thanks to @Rory for the SSB Main Squeeze Glossary:

1. Gregory Mason Clark - Husband and boyfriend, on and off at uni. SJ approx 18
2. Nic Larkin - apparently just friends at uni (but also dated according to CB?)
3. Married Husband 22-24??? (wedding registered in July 1999, she was 23 at the time)
4. Michael Potts met through Oliver Strong on and off 10 years. Open relationship in the end. Buys Chateau 2005 during relationship age 29.
5. Edmond Fokker van Craayenstein (player in tight trousers who pretends to be an aristocrat-BF with guy who said "let the 80 years-olds die off")
6. Mason Dwinell on and off (last we heard he is still staring at the sun?)
7. Ludwig Norweigner (otherwise known as Nordic Weirdo, alcoholic friend unceremoniously dumped at the train station without a ticket)
8. James Jardine (turned out to be "too much" for the girl who never has enough)
9. Daniel Hengeveld (nicknamed Druggy Daniel, because of his not so secret habits. IJ was furious about that romance and the fact that he introduced narcotics into the shat-o. Christmas 2016)
10. Various volunteers ad nauseum (bread oven guy Walton, Christian We etc.)
11. BJJ (any port in a storm, eh Stephanie?)


Château dictionary

BasMinger: Château de Basmaignée/aka Trotter Towers, the spin off Vlogs of the Trotters. @Jeeves

Begmania: château de Basmaignée @Le Comte de Monte Cristo

Cadge: Cadeaux at the Châteaux' channel @Definitely Maybe

Dadification: The attribution of Derek's nature or characteristics at each and every opportunity. @Jeeves

(a) Derek, to be a Derek: someone who is obsessed with boobs @Gibson

(a) Fouquet: as in to pull a Fouquet. The act of using public funds to finance once lavish lifestyle, in honour of the Great Nicolas Fouquet, Louis the XIV’s finance minister and builder of celebrated Château of Vaux-le-Vicomte (the most ostentatious Château of its time, pre-dating the Versailles renovations) who finished his life in jail being accused by the King of mismanagement of funds. @justcommonsense

GAG: Grab a Gift @Mrs O

Gustavo: male prostitute with expensive tastes @Hercule P

High Priestess Skankadankadingdong: SJ's name @lalablahblah

Madrid syndrom: stricto sensu, long journey to have some bedroom activities in a very expensive hotel in the middle of a pandemy
Flexible version, long journey to have some bedroom activities in a very expensive place @Hercule P

Petherfending: defending Petherick @Joy no toile

Selmobile: Selmar’s camper-van vehicle of love and adventure @Princess and the Pea or @Gibson ?????

Spored: bored with Spode, I am so spored right now, or Diesel is spored; he wants his old dog dish back. @ProfessorPlum

Stephanese: What would be your definition? @mummydearest

Stephfending: when I actually do feel the need to defend SJ. @Milre

Stephiphany: a sudden awareness of the chance to swindle @ProfessorPlum

Trolliosis: a debilitating condition caused by Tattlers asking questions or making observations relating to grifting @lalablahblah

To Versailles: to behave like Marie-Antoinette (Sofia Coppola’s dancing, dressing-up, gambling, romanticising nature version of Marie-Antoinette) As in They Versailled again all night yesterday! @justcommonsense

To Versailles up: to make Versailles-inspired design choices that, depending on taste and budget, may result in a nouveau-riche or tat-like look. As in They Versailled up the entrance, it looks [insert preferred adjective]! @justcommonsense

ArtWork @Linus

ARTWORK @Marquis de Potpourri

All (22) Love (9) Sick (7) Like (5) Angry (1)
PPL REPOSTING THE POST 2
Congratulations to @Jeeves total votes 27

The chateau Diaries: C.O.S : will the panels pan out? so far 5 votes @Milre

The chateau Diaries: C.O.S : The woe-go-round continues. so far 10 votes @ComtesseRose

The Chateau Diaries :C.O.S : Botox Unravelling, FHS Flannelling, & Poxy Panelling so far 8 votes @Violetty

The chateau Diaries: C.O.S : Chateau Malice and it’s inhabitants so far 10 votes @MojoDublin

The chateau Diaries: C.O.S :Who'll crawl out of the woodwork next? so far 17 votes @Jeeves

The chateau Diaries: C.O.S The reinvention of bus wheels so far 7 votes @KiKiGee

The Chateau Diaries ;C.O.S: Skankensteins rodents feast on monster paneling @Geordieboy71

Could @Marquis de Potpourri 's Bridgerton photo rendition be added to this 1st thread post intro since he is being credited for it? Maybe for next time? Thanks!

 

[Jikki2]

It was mentioned earlier this week that in SJ's patrons vlog, a film crew was at the chateau. I am wondering if it was a Dutch film crew?

Why do you think it might have been a Dutch film crew at the shitoo?

 

[Jikki2]

Ugh. Saw that, never in a million years would I buy that, unless I could get a woodworker to "restore" it, and even then it would be doubtful if I wanted to purchase it.... AND THEY WAITED 6 YEARS TO BUY THE PERFECTLY BROKEN ONE!!!

Where was this posted?

 

[Phoenix Richards-Bingham]

This guy -- who, by the way, passed away renovating this house -- is the Everest summiteer of DIY reno. And his most grueling tale was cleaning 19th century encaustic tiles. He did soak them. In bleach. And then toothbrushes/sand belts/nips every single effing tile. He's a legend among US home reno bloggers for this encounter, which he called the Oberon Saloon Tile Saga.

The Petch House

The story of life behind The Redwood Curtain restoring an 1895 Victorian Home.

petchhouse.blogspot.com

Couldn't get any of the pictures to open.

 

[Madame No]

Touche! Yes, that's it!