The Chateau Diaries #268 Stephanie Jarvis' dailies aren't even filmed daily, lazy cow!

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My take away from last offering was lady PhiPhi thinks he showing passion, "iv already spoken to Steve about recreating the wallpaper" "oo I want stripes" when in fact its coming across very needy and desperate ...
I think he's actually scared of her and never knows how she's going to react. She often slaps him down and mocks him. In the latest gift grab, he frequently started to say things and she cut him off in full flow, either because she feels embarrassed by his inane comments or because she wanted to hold forth herself. It's clearly far from an equal relationship. He has a similar impulsive disorder to hers, so he supports her in that way but otherwise he is a kind of butler but without the wisdom and insight that many old style butlers had. He is also hopeless and without any skills at all!
 
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Fanny and all her vlogs are farcical.
  • Just like the peacocks Snorty is absolutely lording it over shitting all over every inch of the shiteau and leaving his nasty, musty scent. Snorty is a no-nothing, clueless child pretending he's an architectural, design expert.
  • Fanny is the bigger fool for giving Snorty so much control, but she only does it because she's too lazy to get out of bed every day, get dressed before lunch and do any "work" herself. Also, Fanny, Potty and Baghead really don't give a flying-$uck about the shiteau!
  • Why is Fanny so obsessed with wallpaper? Every bloody room! Just a mish-mash of designs & colours in every damn room with absolutely no taste or cohesion.
  • The attic bathroom is just another unfinished project Fanny has been hiding but is finally getting around to finishing. Clearly they had previously done some work (installed claw foot bath & loo), but lost interest when it came to installing the sink. Fanny had wallpapered the damn bathroom (and has been hoarding left-over rolls of wallpaper), but couldn't be bothered to install a sink until now.
  • Where is Fanny going to place all the junk that is piled up in that small, empty attic bedroom?
  • Why wouldn't Fanny fix up MariE's derelict attic room first? Mean cow!
  • That little, empty attic room Fanny & Snorty are obsessed with wallpapering already has wallpaper
    • why don't they just copy the wallpaper that is already in that space?
    • with the curved walls/ceiling the room doesn't need wallpaper - just paint it a nice colour
 

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Fanny's place is whatever you want it to be! I've gone down the rabbit hole of definitions for chateaux more than once. Here's one definition:

"A château is a manor house or residence of the lord of the manor, or a fine country house of nobility or gentry, with or without fortifications, originally, and still most frequently, in French-speaking regions." Wikipedia

One could argue whether Fanny's place is a true chateau or not, but and I hate to say it, I would call it a chateau in polite company. In impolite company it's The Dump or A Heap in the Middle of Nowhere.
 
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Quite like her and her design ideas but her fashion choices give Snorts a run for his money.
Sophie Robinson fellow judges feature here with their names changed !

 
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Yesterday's vlog reinforced a few things for me:

1) This wouldn't get within 10 feet of me. EVER.



2) His hands are creepy little mitts (see above). Would someone please send him some nail clippers so he can open them in Cadeaux?



3) Sure, Stephanie. When I go to a spa for a service, I don't give a crap about the surroundings, so yeah, I'd LOVE a massage in your construction zone. Next up.......facials in the bat cave! Sign me up!

 
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I said I'd never seen the DIY blog/vlog ethos -- kill yourself to restore an old house, then decorate it like Mar a Lago -- in the culinary world, as MariE is expressing it. Kill yourself boning quail, cover them with black spice powder to resemble turds, serve with yet another black sauce. I was thinking this is sabotage cookery.
But I have seen MariE's style of cooking before in the culinary world. What we used to call the gentleman or bachelor chef. Showing off but without regard for taste or presentation, so that the end of a long labor of cooking looks terrible and tastes questionable. They used to put liquor in everything, as lady cooks of the 1950s put cheese in everything, to make it Fancy. MariE is putting a Slavic sense of flamboyance (her diva-esque forearm undulations while playing the piano) into her cooking, with, I suspect, a firm disregard for discipline/aesthetics she thinks of as creative. Black sauce, the equivalent of her ports de bra at the piano = really, really, bad taste with a creepy performative edge.
 
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He doesn't need a spa treatment. His face is just begging to have this done to it.
 
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I've seen that somewhere before...
View attachment 2490018
I just can't put a finger on it...
Except, I think, SJ and PhiPhi are BEAST AND BEAST because neither of them is a thing of beauty.

Also, the Beast has healthier hair and better do than PhiPhi! I've been half-tempted to give PhiPhi a gift certificate for keratin treatment for a long time now.

That's exactly what it looked like to me, although Gerry's female doppleganger isn't exactly Beauty, is she!!
As the French would say: La Bête Et La Bête.
Saw your similar posts a bit late, great minds...
 
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100% I was trying to think about your earlier assessment that her meals were some sort of sabotage but was having a tough time. I think Marie, as well as Stephanie, thinks this is fancy stuff, when it feels like over the top ingredients mashed together badly to look "posh", for lack of a better term.

Sad to say that the only thing I found somewhat pleasing in that mish-mash of food served at yesterday's vlog was FRK's tomato salad. I'm starting to really dislike Maria. She went on and on about how she prepared store bought tortelloni - we get it, you boiled them and put some of that fancy butter on them (actually, I couldn't understand a word of what she said in that dissertation, I'm just assuming). Got it!

Apparently, everyone in the chateau loves a good weenie, though. Pun intended.
 
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Quite like her and her design ideas but her fashion choices give Snorts a run for his money.
Sophie Robinson fellow judges feature here with their names changed !

She has just sold lots of her tv clothes on Instagram. Apparently they all sold but at least that means they will be split up and not worn at the same time.
 
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That butter was pathetic... all you have to do is put herbs in butter to make your own... I thought Maria knew her way around a kitchen?
 
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Was PhiPhi really showing passion or was he simply pissing on what he believes to be his like a dog marks his territory?

 
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She paid extra for the lake...
 
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This is unacceptable no matter who you are or where you’re from . So gross. So so so gross.
Really? Can't stand the man, but I'll defend his neck beard - it's nothing in the scheme of things. Not sure where you live, but I work with mostly men and neck beard is extremely common; for those who grow beards within 12 hours, it's almost impossible to keep their neck clean shaven anyways. Smelling clean and having lovely manners is a better cause to push for IMO.
 
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