The Chateau Diaries #24 The Church of Stephinology and the Order of the Spode

[TheTaxInspector]

JOBS FOR BUMS

THE PRIVATE EMPLOYMENT AGENCY THAT FINDS JOBS FOR BUMS AND TURNS POOR BUMS INTO RICH BUMS

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We own a string of run-down châteaux located in the middle of nowhere in some of the poorest regions of France. Sign on with us and become the part-time ‘owner’ of one of our wonderful dilapidated châteaux! All you have to do is turn up at the château of your choice once a month, do a quick video, and then bugger off back home and shove it on YouTube. For a small monthly fee you can pretend to be a chatelain who’s in dire need of funds to renovate a château that’s on its last legs. By the time the viewers realize that no work will ever be done in the place you will have made a fortune on Patreon, YT, and Instagrab, and you’ll be able to spend the rest of your days sunning yourself in the Bahamas with millions in the bank!

 

[lolander]

YES!
I think Dan is charming that photo with AL before they bought the house, but I can't help but wonder what the maw of such a young man with teeth already rotten smells of. Yikes.

Selmar looks like he swallowed a volleyball and his teeth are caked and yellow.

Dan's posture is like a snot bouncing from a three year old's nose and the image of Selmar dancing to Dana has burned into my retinas not to mention his dog has a better hairdo than he does. Selmar also possesses the worst character combination: dumb & proud.

 

[FrankieG]

Teeth are the first thing I notice about a person. It is strange why Dan's teeth are so bad, there's really no need for it in this day and age. I don't know whether the Dutch are like the Belgians, my ex-in-laws just had two rotten pegs at the front of their mouths and I couldn't understand why they didn't have dentures. I could never take my eyes off them.

I worked in dentistry and encountered many people with a morbid fear of dentists who would delay work until they were crying with pain and no longer had any choice. Lots of old folks never went to the dentist unless they needed a tooth pulled, never mind a cleaning, etc. Here, until the 1970s, some people as young as in their forties, would choose to have all their teeth pulled and replaced with dentures so that they wouldn't have any more "problems".

 

[NotAChatelaine]

[QUOTE="Joy no toile, post: 4272245, member: 197524"

Side note Phillip sounded in awe, nary a snort

Like you I was revelling in No interruption from sir snort A lot until LOTLL found a way to include him once the piano was discovered

Marc had already said it was Not played as it wasent tuned - and the curator of all thing s piano plodded on with his rendition of his form of music

you could see marcs manners were nearly contained - until professor snort confirmed on camera - the piano needed a tuning

they are so lacking in basic manners
It was totally mortifying
[/QUOTE]

"They are so lacking in basic manners..." - they were both out of their depth, floundering like fish out of water.

 

[MojoDublin]

JOBS FOR BUMS

THE PRIVATE EMPLOYMENT AGENCY THAT FINDS JOBS FOR BUMS AND TURNS POOR BUMS INTO RICH BUMS

Are you currently unemployed and/or unemployable? Do you have a low IQ and are you linguistically challenged? Are you a romantic fool?
If you are you’ve come to the right place!
Jobs for Bums is a private employment agency that has some of the finest jobs for bums in the world!

We own a string of run-down châteaux located in the middle of nowhere in some of the poorest regions of France. Sign on with us and become the part-time ‘owner’ of one of our wonderful dilapidated châteaux! All you have to do is turn up at the château of your choice once a month, do a quick video, and then bugger off back home and shove it on YouTube. For a small monthly fee you can pretend to be a chatelain who’s in dire need of funds to renovate a château that’s on its last legs. By the time the viewers realize that no work will ever be done in the place you will have made a fortune on Patreon, YT, and Instagrab, and you’ll be able to spend the rest of your days sunning yourself in the Bahamas with millions in the bank!

Agent 007
Prose of the week

 

[lolander]

"They are so lacking in basic manners..." - they were both out of their depth, floundering like fish out of water.

What is it with this sudden interest on out of tune pianos? CD is about life, love and laughter and here we went again looking at curtains, chandeliers and crockery and not showing the least interest on family stories and memories... she's only interested about stuff.

 

[LadyoftheEast]

I worked in dentistry and encountered many people with a morbid fear of dentists who would delay work until they were crying with pain and no longer had any choice. Lots of old folks never went to the dentist unless they needed a tooth pulled, never mind a cleaning, etc. Here, until the 1970s, some people as young as in their forties, would choose to have all their teeth pulled and replaced with dentures so that they wouldn't have any more "problems".

I know that my kids have far better teeth than me. even though we were nagged and nagged about the correct cleaning and care of our teeth as kids by my grandfather (who was also a dentist). I still have fillings in most of my molars whereas my kids who are in their 20s have none. Is Fluoride in the water now the difference, whereas we grew up with our own private well (no fluoride)?

 

[ProfessorPlum]

"Loud" is a good adjective for everything to do with SJ: loud, garish, OTT decor; loud paintings by Daddy; loud clothes (boobs showing & garish yellow dresses); loud laugh; loud speaking voice; loud singing; loud gestures; loud parties, etc. She, and her taste, appearance and all else drown out everyone else. Cultured and educated people with good taste tend not to look, behave and conduct themselves in that manner. I always need to find the mute button when SJ is performing and not just for the sound but also the sight! You would think all educated/cultured viewers would feel the same. We can only assume they are too gullible, too tasteless, or too unhappy to see that for themselves!

I think the increasing loudness and aggressive over-articulation and over-enunciation show her need to control and dominate. You see this in her rapport with Philip, holding up her hand, No, don’t you...! No, don’t speak! Don’t. say. a word, you! because she knows he’s about to out her in some way. The louder and more controlling she is, the more out-of-control she must be feeling inside.

 

[ComtesseRose]

Teeth are the first thing I notice about a person

Same. I have an irrational fear of bad teeth...

 

[Espe]

and Hyacinth Bucket

Only this week did I think of Hyacinth when I saw SJ!!

 

[Jeeves]

Both photographs of Annalise from the same day. Given that she seemed to be struggling with laryngitis, she's not looking too bad. Annalise is a naturally pretty girl whereas SSB has to work pretty hard. I think she has a rather hard face, with slightly protruding eyes. Come to think of it, I wonder if her recent medical problems could be hyperthyroidism?

A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts it will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.”

This is the difference between Dan and Annalise and SJ and Trotter!

 

[Pansygirl]

Laurel Britton Skinner

I wish Isabel were there. Nothing makes you feel better than your mamma. Plus Isabel would make sure Stephanie’s Fanny stayed well planted to her bed.
Stephanie, you have SO MANY books to read and eye! Enjoy your down time and we’ll all be here when …
See more

Probably only Brits will find this funny!

 

[LadyoftheEast]

Certainly, beauties all. And all more on the zaftig end of the scale than our Ms Jarvis, though I also consider her ballerina-type to be beautiful.

I wouldn't see those three as rounded, I'd call them shapely, feminine and slender. I can't wait to see SJ in the flesh later this year. Its going to be very interesting. Someone said that the designer in South Africa had said he had a perfect size 12 model/mannequin that he used for sizing the disgusting yellow dress to SJ as he knew she was a size 12. If that's so a size 12 isn't that small, I know she's quite broad so can carry her weight better than a narrow person but still a 12 seems quite large. Like I say, I'm waiting to see her in the flesh (hopefully).

 

[lolander]

I think the increasing loudness and aggressive over-articulation and over-enunciation show her need to control and dominate.

Here in Florence we encounter a lot of nationalities and Americans are the ones who get loud, over-articulate and start to propel their hands in true Italian fashion when in doubt they're not understood. I was told that's an example of Americanization, as in the States people come from different backgrounds and not all have good command of English, I have never questioned this theory. Until now. I thought Steph was doing the same to be understood. Her fans aren't the smartest bunch.

I wouldn't see those three as rounded, I'd call them shapely, feminine and slender. I can't wait to see SJ in the flesh later this year. Its going to be very interesting. Someone said that the designer in South Africa had said he had a perfect size 12 model/mannequin that he used for sizing the disgusting yellow dress to SJ as he knew she was a size 12. If that's so a size 12 isn't that small, I know she's quite broad so can carry her weight better than a narrow person but still a 12 seems quite large. Like I say, I'm waiting to see her in the flesh (hopefully).

Yes, she isn't that petite if her UK size is 12. Please do tell us, if you ever get to Lalande, how she's really like.

 

[witchgrass]

I thought SJ kind of brought Amy out of her mommy shell a little. I've been watching their channel and it's a little heavy on the "look at the baby look at the baby" and he's a cute baby, but ugh. Babies are boring. I've done my time. (Get back to me when I'm a grandparent, I guess.) Anyway I thought the story of how Marc and Amy met was well told and they do better with a live audience, but even their next video was a little less..nervous. Although I could do without the marital bickering, I got more of a sense of their sense of humor. Amy is definitely Gryffindor.

 

[Espe]

SO MANY books to read and eye!

I wonder if she ever picks up any of those books unless she needs to read up about a topic so she can give a talk and show off her "knowledge" about a topic. I think she just mugs it up before a vlog. After all the gushing at the gift grabs, I tend to think, that, like most other gifts, the books are put to one side and forgotten about and probably can't be found when she does need one. She wants a library so they will look impressive. I doubt if her actual knowledge of French history or art is that wide. I guess she reads quite a lot of trash in her spare time when she's not watching Netflix.

As for forgetting about and losing gifts, how many times has she said said she will use something next Easter or Christmas but when the time comes, that gift is nowhere to be seen. I bet the sycophants are desperately looking out for their table mats, etc. to appear in the vlogs, don't they realise that they will probably never be seen again and all the effort of buying, packing, and posting was a complete waste of time and money?

 

[ProfessorPlum]

Here in Florence we encounter a lot of nationalities and Americans are the ones who get loud, over-articulate and start to propel their hands in true Italian fashion when in doubt they're not understood. I was told that's an example of Americanization, as in the States people come from different backgrounds and not all have good command of English, I have never questioned this theory. Until now. I thought Steph was doing the same to be understood. Her fans aren't the smartest bunch.

That’s very interesting, and I agree with your conclusion. Of course, loudness and aggression aren’t unique to any nation. There’s nothing softer or more pleasant-sounding than someone from the Carolinas, for instance, where in other countries, the way people bite off their words can sometimes sound like they want to bite off your head!

 

[witchgrass]

Dan's posture is like a snot bouncing from a three year old's nose

OMG that is the most savage insult. dying

 

[nuff said]

Here in Florence we encounter a lot of nationalities and Americans are the ones who get loud, over-articulate and start to propel their hands in true Italian fashion when in doubt they're not understood. I was told that's an example of Americanization, as in the States people come from different backgrounds and not all have good command of English, I have never questioned this theory. Until now. I thought Steph was doing the same to be understood. Her fans aren't the smartest bunch.

From a travel industry perspective, cruise ships. Agreed the generalisation of North American’s is loud, but generally fairly happy, staff happy to work with them, they seem to take photos of standard things and are a bit gushing, family or couple photos tend to be fairly conservative. However, Russia and some Eastern European completely different, staff generally do not wish to assist/serve them, as it seems those that can afford to travel look down on the assigned waiting staff, however, the amusement for staff comes when photos are being taken especially by the more unpleasant individuals, one member of staff likened them to putting their portfolio together for a certain adults only type of website.
Let us hope the LOTL considers who she allows to stay in future so there are no further potential website type only photos.

 

[dumbblonde]

The whole house was one big brocante filled with worthless tat. The champagne money hadn't obviously dripped down to his side of the family.

Maybe French tv is filming their version of Steptoe and Son and they needed a ready venue