The Chateau Diaries #233 Lie-Lande, it's halfway to completion or halfway to disintegrating!

[Marquis de Potpourri]

Who else here thinks that the idea of having an English garden at Lalande is stupid?
Poor cuzzin digging through granite in the rain when he can do more important things to keep that farmhouse from crumbling!
Well, I guess Stefanny needs to keep coming up with "work" others can do to keep the granny pension dough coming in through Patreon.

Potty hasn't been seen together with his girl toy since Christmas! Is little man Michael Potts single again or are Stefanny, Pubes, and Potty un ménage à trois now? Also, has anyone noticed that the older Potts gets the more he looks like Spero Villioti? Are those two related?

Steffany should avoid this angle when filming her gay best friend. We can see his brain through his nostrils!
Anyhoo, hang in there Philip! One day that chateau will be yours! Yours! (evil laugh!)

This dude must be the hardest worker at Steffany's farmhouse right now! He reminds me of a Tolkien creature. He's too tiny to be an elf, so perhaps a resident of Khazad-dum and a long-lost relative of King Durin III!

If this couple knows what's good for them (and their kids!), they should stay as far away as possible from Lalande! For the love of all things noble!

Overall---that Sunday vlog was...um....ah....pointless. Ciao!

 

[Jules100]

Anyway, @Jules100 I’m so thrilled to hear you’ve got your first episode in the can. Any exclusive topic reveals for your devoted fans here at Tattle Towers? Does Caroline Do No Gooder come in for some mudslinging?

The hags and I ate some scones (using The Fairbottom proper rim technique), drank cheap champagne, discussed the birthweight of our children, played marry F kill, set up an Amazon gift registry or two and talked about cute boys. It was a lot of fun.

I was thinking the same about Jules in pursuit of Jason as a guest for the CWU! *Good idea though!
What is the saying keep your friends close and your enemies closer? Something to that effect....

Not going after my bff, at least not yet. Seeing JD in his latest insta just touched my heart. Buy if you did know which chateauverse regulars and recurring characters we are in talks with, you would want to use this new TL OMG emoji I hear rumors about.

 

[mrsp67]

Grrrrrrrr. Just watched the latest offering from
lie-effanie I’ve no idea where I shall begin! So angry.
1. Waste of time with Ann Marie digging holes.
2. Lie-Effanie wandering around in a fur lined coat in the rain harassing people working.
3. pigeon shit residing for HOW many years?
4. A room never painted that held guest.
5. guest making pie/ crumble and you know they bought the supplies.
6. Lie effanie paying and admitting to having spent upwards of 400$ on a comforter. Admitting that bedding has been there. So when she had zero money she was actually able to afford that expensive bedding.
7. people praising them for NOT having the place ready with ten paid employees.
For fucks sake! When will people see this for the scam it is!

 

[Karma baby!]

Ok so... watching that video gave me new energy to stick the proverbial "it" to fan flash... so, I am going to upload this Patreon video for you. But mind you, I usually do it in the little recording studio we have at the office, and this was done snuggled up in bed with my MIL's dog

While it's uploading, here is a quick "How To" for capturing Patreon videos. (Note I'm using a Mac, but it shouldn't be too different for other systems)

1. You need Quicktime, you can download it from here (If you have a Mac, it's already installed on your computer)

Manuals, Specs, and Downloads - Apple Support

Manuals, technical specifications, downloads, and more for Apple software and hardware

support.apple.com

2. Go to patreon website, open the video and change it to full screen. Maximize the light and sound on your computer. Remove any headphones you have connected to it.

3. Go to the QuickTime Player application. Choose File/New Screen Recording.

4. Choose if you want to record all your screen, or a portion of your screen (options are highlighted in red below).

5. Click on the Options menu.

6. Choose the appropriate audio source, which should be your built-in microphone, or it could be called "MacBook microphone" or whatever your computer is called.
NOW, A BIG NOTE HERE. Assuming none of you have an external mic, a plugin or a recording studio, you're going to use your computer's microphone to capture the sound. This means the microphone will capture ALL the sounds in your surrounding. So, go somewhere quiet and don't make any noises until the recording is done!

6. Now, in MacBook, a 3 finger swipe moves between full screen pages. You have previously made your video full screen. Just swipe to the window you want to record, play the video, and press RECORD. Sit back, and let the video run.

This video also gives a good and quick explanation of what I just said. Don't bother with the second half of it, unless you want to! Give it a try and let me know if you have any questions



P.S. this "How To" is added to Wiki Media... let it be my legacy!

 

[Ferris Wheel]

What will they name Nutty's apartment now?

Storage room 45 probably. Or the new china pantry.

 

[Jules100]

I want everyone to know that I really like chateauverse super fan Jason Dubey. I’m so happy he’s ok after his health scare and seemingly back to normal. Jason, stay away from Lalande. Stephanie doesn’t care about you and her farmhouse is a dangerous dump full of mold and pigeon poop. Not good for someone trying to live a healthy life.

 

[graciemckitten]

Here is a post I wrote about Armoire almost 14 months ago,
graciemckitten
VIP Member
Mar 4, 2022

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• #468

Anne Marie. The pressure on all the main players at the Shittoo is increasing. I think Anne Marie knows he is for a crappy few months. The pressures on him are amping up daily.

He moved all of his equipment to France, spent weeks setting up his workshop. He is now stuck there and cannot leave easily. He is in a dirty, cold, damp room at the Shittoo eating crap food.

His parents have drunk heavily from the Fanny kool aid. They are just giddy filming with her and praise her non-stop. I think they put pressure on Anne Marie to help Fanny, as it helps themselves. His mother seems to be as critical at times like mini apron, and Anne Marie seems to take a lot of not so great commentary from his mother.

Anne Marie was supposed to do the grand salon paneling. He has been at the shittoo for months but hasn’t made much progress. He finds out the paneling is shit and doesn’t fit the room. It is not of the age and quality that had been represented to him. He realizes the window framing in the room are rotten and need to be dealt with and has to come up with a plan for the wet walls. He has to do all this while having a pink phone jammed in his face at random intervals and being asked to perform like a court jester on command.

Fanny pulls the old “bait and switch” routine on him. Once he moved onto the premises, Stephanfraudie gets rid of Ian and other workers, and then daily adds to an extensive list of projects she wants Anne Marie to complete: the downstairs loo plumbing, etc., fix the windows in attic, all the broken shit she found when “cleaning” out the attics with Potts and Phi Phi, the jobs that Ian wasn’t able to complete, the floor in Narnia, etc. It is an ever growing list. The ever cheap Stephanfraudie isn’t paying him more money, and has now tripled his workload, and reduced the amounts she has to pay out monthly to Ian, the digger guy, etc. It also gives her an excuse to slow her Shittoo projects down and put the blame on Anne Marie. She takes advantage of his relationship to “Cuz” to force additional duties on him and to exploit him constantly for her Youtube fodder to earn herself hundreds of thousands of dollars. She exploits his appearance without shame to benefit herself and doesn’t care if it bothers him or not. She has no boundaries, just greed for money and attention to enrich herself.

Anne Marie can’t even focus on the grand salon because he has to deal with all of the daily “emergencies” or sudden whims of Fanny at the Shittoo, e.g., the radiators are leaking again, the ceiling fell in (Potts: let me go find a bottle of wine, I’m not going to help with this. Anne Marie deals with ineptness and arrogance of the other 50% Shittoo owners who don’t lift a finger to help him deal with emergencies on the property that they own)., dismantling and putting back together yet another wardrobe to be lugged up the Narnia, working on the Davy crap tree project, etc.,, fixing the digger, etc. He cannot finish one project in peace. It must be frustrating being thrust into the hourly drama and daily chaos of the Shittoo.

Stephanfraudie has essentially turned him into the project manager and custodian of the structural welfare of the entire Shittoo, dumping all of the responsibilities and stressors on him, while expecting him to adhere to her ever changing schedule of needs and wants. She used him as her flying monkey to get rid of Ian.

Stage 5 clinger Nutty doesn’t let Anne Marie take a breath without her by his side. Think of all the past videos when Fanny surprises Anne Marie in the workshop and Natty is chatting away or scurries out of the camera lens. They are together 24/7 now and with the added burdens of the B&B incessant filming, deadlines for Anne Marie to finish projects for the DIY show, please his parents and cater to Fanny, and put out fires on the shittoo premises daily, it must be a stressful existence. Nutty is also trying to get a trap baby to tie him down for years. If they broke up, his life at the Shittoo would be totally unbearable.

The B&B is starting up for the next few months. Anne Marie is the only person on the premises full time that speaks fluent French and seems to have a bit of a conscience, Fanny is starting to travel for the next few weeks, and the Shittoo shit show will be on Anne Marie’s shoulders. Anne Marie is getting fed up with Fanny’s demands for instant gratification and her selfishness and is starting to assert himself. Remember when Fanny wanted to him to immediately run from the kitchen to film the grand salon while he was drinking champagne, and he had to ask, “Can I not even finish my drink first?”

It is also frustrating to watch phi phi prance around playing lord of the manor and doing no physical labor to pitch in and help.
What do you think?

Last

 

[MRShavershamsdress]

I hope Armoire straps on Nutti's big balls and refuses to show up to dinner with the crazy guests unless it is to EAT and NOT to wait on Snorts and company.

I wonder just how imperative this move was due to the prancing ponce ordering Anne-Marie around and lording his douchiness over all?

 

[M&MsMom]

I had a feeling I should click on today’s Patreon video…. And I was right!

AnnMarie & Nutcase moved out! They got a house “in the area” and left to live there

YESSSSS! I love it! I hope this means that neither one of them will have to wait on Philip for dinner. I hope it's a 9-5 job.
Thank you for letting us know!
(now go and get some rest!)

 

[thatsrich]

a topic that has been on my mind….Amaury.

He first appeared on chateau DIY original series when Fanny hosted a singles weekend where the men didn’t show up so she had to call her cuz to rescue (the whole thing was staged, btw). She was giddy to show off he cuzzy man candy.

Now Amaury (aka Anne Marie aka armoire) has moved in full-time p, shacked up with the help in the gardeners cottage and has been tasked with a multitude of fixit jobs, while his carpentry skills are sidelined by structural issues.

he appears to becoming more and more reluctant to be filmed. Supposedly, he’s spent the last 3 weeks jack hammering granite that was below the newly planted hedges which died…for some reason (rock will do that) lol

it made me wonder two things….why he wouldn’t be invited to become a part owner. He’s putting in the time…the sweat and he is planting roots. He’s got to me mid 30 to late 30s now, and rhe window on Nutty having kids is closing so having a family is probably not in the cards unless they look at other ways. That is, if he plans to st with her (they arent Married or engaged as far as we know). Does he not plan to build his own house?

the second thing I wondered, before we learned about Dan‘s chateau sans roof, Dan made a video or perhaps it was Fanny….where he mentioned having a business proposal for Cuz. i thought it was related to the Movember thing but I wonder if he wanted Amaury to partner up with him on the Chateau. I actually think that would have been good content as they had good chemistry together and Amaury’s skills, work ethic and Disney-esque buff-ness would have brought more viewers to the channel. when Dan got advice from Amaury on the one window, I thought maybe that was a trial.

but nothing seemed to materialize….

we still don’t know anything about Dan‘s finances on his roofless building so maybe Amaury thought it was a bad deal, or maybe he just didn’t want to do YouTube, or maybe Fanny said no. I think it’s the last one.

One thing for sure, Amaury looks absolutely pissed off every time he’s filmed lately. hey Amaury, why not join us here to tell us how you’re really feeling…?

 

[Jules100]

I just painted the front door today, I have more paint on me than he does, and I don't believe it's because I'm a sloppy painter because I know I'm not...

Philip gave away his painting prowess by the was he was holding that tiny paint brush. He sucks and was just pretending to paint the ceiling trim for content.

 

[Cleo's Asp]

The LL garden is an absolute disgrace. To think she has been living there for nearly twenty years and that loads of people have sent seeds and bulbs. She's spent literally thousands on various plants, yet there's no more than a handful of flowers now it's spring. She is screaming ecstatically about a few odd tulips because she wants people to think the garden is thriving. Most places at this time would have hundreds of colourful bulbs in flower. Considering the fact that Isabelle was supposed to love the garden and that so many people have worked on it, it's incredible that there's hardly anything to show for it. In addition, it would seem that most of the plants Davey advised her to plant, have perished as will the new hedge, no doubt. I reckon thousands have been spent on the garden and been wasted. She spent more thousands at the Chelsea Flower Show but none of the purchases have materialised. It's not just the house that is being left to rot, it's absolutely everything she's involved in.

 

[MRShavershamsdress]

I don't have high hopes for those California posers in France. They are boring af. What a bunch of weak asses stifling people's opinions.

You would think being Americans they might be a little less inclined to censorship. It’s a sad commentary on the state of the US when freedom of speech is suppressed out of greed and sycophancy. Chateau Vidal Sassoon will get no views from moi. Dull as dishwater ass kissers. Oh I do hope they read here!

 

[Lady Avonlea]

I think the whole area is granite bedrock.

Which is why in over 3 centuries or more there has never been a garden there!

 

[Maple fairy]

The only Dump members residing on the grounds will be Pavlina, Snorts, Maria, Fanny, and intermittently Potts ( who will also spend less than 50% of his time at the Dump to avoid French taxes). Is that one reason why he is all over the CD and Crap Unwrapped videos in the past 4 months or so? Ollie, Dan, and Armoire will be busy with their own properties. Who will Fanny exploit for content? Will Mummy return? Former or new volunteers or guests? The Egyptologist? Maker and Manor? Dana, goat cheese boy, Kirsty, Davy, and Nick the tree guy?

Will she have to lure in new people for content?

In the past miss Fanny was able to keep her squad coming back time and time again. The only variables that have changed are the money and the arrival of the twerp. He appears to be the one that is burning bridges and chipping away at the size of her entourage. She should be cautious she will wake up one day with only his presence. Is he assuming her persona? He already wears her clothes, appears to make important decisions, uses her credit card etc. Alarm bells should be going off!

 

[Tea with lemon]

I'm going to watch CU and eat scones tonight.
Not.
I'll just eat scones.
Why didn't anyone tell me they were so delicious.
(My second attempt at baking scones. I also made clotted cream. Tasty, but the wrong texture. I know where and why I made a mistake and I will do better next time.)

 

[Lady Lindy]

That weirdo creepy Anders of the free chandelier fame has rocked up at château de Bruges with the stilted speaking school teachers. He gives me Uncle Fester vibes
---
The teachers are paying for their chandeliers so there's no way Fanny got her 24K one for free as she claimed..... Lies lies lies

 

[graciemckitten]

Yes...100%

Armoire aged in dog years after his arrival at the Dump. His parents must have been worried that he aged so rapidly, was constantly sick, stressed, and essentially ended up as the caretaker of the Dump and all around worker on every shit job and emergency that came along at the Dump. When uncle was at the Dump, he often helped Armoire with tasks like watering the garden, etc.

I believe Armoire was under the impression that he would only primarily be doing wood crafting projects when he agreed or was sought after by Cuz to relocate to the Dump. The first few months, he partied a lot and did projects with Dan. Then Dan exited the scene and lazy, exploitive Fanny began increasing the amount of work and responsibilities piled on Armoire. It was evident that he did not like Snorts, even though he begrudgingly hugged him on camera. Armoire must have tired of the drama, erratic decision making, and pointless projects that accompany Fanny and the Dump.

Fanny is going to hate losing 24/7 access to Cuz Anne Marie. She wants minions at her beck and call at all times.

 

[Tea with lemon]

Finally, after much thought, I understand:
Phillip is a true expert on structural problems: damp, rotten beams, cracked walls, black mold.
Who is a better expert than him to say something on the subject. He lives in such a building and understands it best
1. How cold are the damp walls
2. What does it mean when cold and moisture enter through rotten windows. Phillip will be able to recognize the "music" of drafts through true windows and doors.
3. Phillip knows how big a stove should be installed in each room and how much wood should be used to heat the wet and icy walls. He will probably suggest that they do not install anything, because he knows from experience that it is not worth heating. When he puts the biggest wood he can find into the furnace, he still has to wear three sweaters, a hat, a scarf and gloves.
4. Phillip knows, no matter how big or small the spot of black mold on the wall, it stinks and how long you have to keep the windows open so that you can at least breathe in the room to some extent. This is exactly why they will say that burning the stove is in vain because all the heat goes outside.
5. Phillip knows how to recognize a rotten beam because when he hangs an oversized and heavy chandelier on a damaged beam, it falls to the ground.
6. He also understands problems with pipes. They have almost no functional bathroom, all because of the broken pipes due to the cold. And again, since it is difficult to heat the rooms, because the walls are damp, you don't need to heat them, and of course you don't need to spend money on expensive bathroom equipment because they will be unusable in a very short time.
7. And finally, Phillip knows that wallpaper, stuck on a rotten wall, can still last a few years before it starts to rot, so it is best to invest money in expensive and better quality wallpaper.

Who says Phillip isn't an expert?

 

[JackSpratt]

I hope Maria breaks aĺl those glasses and that the 'museum' shelving section in the kitchen falls off the wall taking all the stinky crazed shit with it.