The Chateau Diaries #118 FFS - Nobody wants to sleep with Philip

[MojoDublin]

How many come here who've been to the chateau and spill real tea? Isn't that something we want? Seems like she unfortunately took a comment the wrong way, and even if she flounced,

Seriously hear you - and seriously get your position

Unlike you - those of us that survived the gauntlet of tattle -
have seen it before
heard it before
Gave Benifit of doubt .. before

And have gone into protection mode Before

Utilise this …. Had you been a true believer and went on holiday and was treated so abysmally .. allegedly

Wouldn’t you go to great lengths to speak directly with the directors and owners - dare I say it have your solicitor send a letter outlining your grievances.

But no … you Don’t and wait and miraculously find tattle and spill a never ending stream of EVERYONE the threads spoke of

No I don’t want to hear from fantasies

Real people spending real money whom have a real good actual personal account.

The rest are called flying monkeys
Trolls and Stephanie Jarvis fanatics

I mean no I’ll will

stick around - or don’t
Thread survived without any Hurt feelings
Certainly not going to feel for a morally superior arse …. That thinks they are the only one that can Afford cable tv

Some if not ALL VIP tattle members have real lives …. Imagine

What a concept

 

[NotAChatelaine]

A list of all the people in here that I find suspicious:

Spoiler

@HalcyonOrganic you are, by some margin, my absolutely most favourite tattler!!

 

[Espe]

Sometimes I wonder if people who speculate there is a romantic or sexual relationship have never seen a man and a woman be platonic friends! It is a thing!!!

I think when people are living abroad, however well they get on with neighbours and colleagues, and however much they love the country they live in, it's often refreshing to meet someone occasionally from your own country who has a similar sense of humour to your own. Dan has a dry, witty sense of humour and he can be ironic, as can Kat, and I imagine they can engage in a friendly banter without anything deeper happening. Apart from Amaury, there isn't really anyone else at the chateau that he could have that kind of friendship with.

 

[Princess and the Pea]

Congratulations @Princess and the Pea, you have a great way with words. Looking forward to your thread title.

Mine is straight forward and blunt.... Stephanie Jarvis stop lying and show the accounts.

Thank you! I just noticed that I am a VIP now. Not sure how that happened but I'll take it!! Love your thread suggestion. I'll see what I can think of!!

 

[MojoDublin]

If my technology plays ball all will be good. I got so fed up of crashes etc. I changed phone and email. I also benefitted from a sabbatical.

So many new arrivals and nothing has changed much in Shittoo land. It is interesting to see how things are progressing (said tongue in cheek) I basically shake my head if Mrs G watches these days.

I did catch the latest, having been to Venice and Verona several times, I wanted to see what they would make of it. I have to agree with many of the posters on here about the trip. I also laughed loudly at her excuse for hiring the ballroom. As if she would ever bother about crowds and mixing! I expect they were just grateful for working loos and warmth/cleanliness. Not that I enjoy Venice in February it is cold, but they've hardened up by living in Lalande.

I followed some of the chat re Selmar and co. Considering she must have made most of her Vlogging career on the back of parading them all on camera, she surely owed them a wage or take on the profits. Just my opinion.

Manor and Maker- didn't do a bad job on the costumes or the Vlog. Still not keen on them, they're only on it for the traction.

Marie W: I have no words, she cannot stick to one thing/place. I saw a lot on here willing her on, but she has drifted off again.

Curtis- I call myself an Egyptian expert- I just don't get him. It just seems like a show for his perfect life/hair/beard/dress sense. He would be better with an insta account and publish his f2f Friday, then we don't have to listen. Self obsessed bore.

Philip - He's a poor man's Curtis. No fashion sense and WTF was he wearing on safari? Mrs G's words- she is getting quite sweary these days and I have suggested a CD diet to calm her down.

Dan: I am not going to comment on his family life, I don't like the innuendos on here regarding them. However, I do agree with other comments about how unprepared he was commenting on Venice. On our very first visit over 30 years ago, we learned from our tour guide about how Venice was built. Do your homework Dan. Less flash/special effects on the Vlogs. Venice, doesn't need it.

God help us when they film in Verona. It's one of my favourite places. The amphitheater is amazing. If they start singing and snorting in there it will imprint on my mind and I will have to have hypnosis to rid myself of the image.

At LAST Q - delighted beyond words only I will borrow @Jeeves sentiment - almost all the 15 back … on the rack

Services required

- a 7 star island
- new fleet … many new VIP s
( personalised jets please )
- new members club -
bloody @Heathcliff turned it into a personal den !!!

Also stinking great media splatt as
Stephanie Jarvis of The Chateau Diaries, Château de Lalande and Chateau Unwrapped

Needs a mighty climb down out of her own arse ….. seriously you’d not belived the fanatic flying monkeys she attracts ….
Simply look at support mammal to know last sign of taste was on her flip flops 🩴 … and she ate them !! Due to poverty

Delighted you haven’t expired

princess n the pea is here ….
Yo father o malley it’s me Nutti I is back

 

[Gibbson]

Nice to see you.
Somehow you reminded me of this classic show tune about a troop of terrible actors playing the dreadful small town theaters of Italy. Kiss Me Kate. Lotsa laffs in Cremona.


We Open in Venice
Cole Porter
A troupe of strolling players are we,
Not stars like L.B. Mayer's are we,
But just a simple band
Who roams about the land
Dispensing fol-de-rol frivolity.
Mere folk who give distraction are we,
No Theater Guild attraction are we,
But just a crazy group
That never ceases to troop
Around the map of little Italy.
We open in Venice,
We next play Verona,
Then on to Cremona.
Lotsa laughs in Cremona.
Our next jump is Parma,
That dopey, mopey menace,
Then Mantua, then Padua,
Then we open again, where?
We open in Venice,
We next play Verona,
Then on to Cremona.
Lotsa bars in Cremona.
Our next jump is Parma,
That beerless, cheerless menace,
Then Mantua, then Padua,
Then we open again, where?
We open in Venice,
We next play Verona,
Then on to Cremona.
Lotsa dough in Cremona.
Our next jump is Parma,
That stingy, dingy menace,
Then Mantua, then Padua,
Then we open again, where?
We open in Venice,
We next play Verona,
Then on to Cremona.
Lotsa quail in Cremona.
Our next jump is Parma,
That heartless, tartless menace,
Then Mantua, then Padua,
Then we open again, where?
In Venice.

Drat, you just gave Stephanie her next vlogs with Oliver. Linked to the song. They will eat and sing and (no snorting) read from Wikipedia or local tourist sheets.
Belissamo

 

[Princess and the Pea]

Congratulations on your VIP status @Princess and the Pea . Father O' Malley took another sabbatical, due to burning incense at both ends. He sends the following message:
My dear child,
You have shown yourself to be truly worthy of your new award. However, I must advise some caution lest the VIP bar goes to your head. Remember, restraint at all times! @MojoDublin will be keen to blow the budget once again with new toys and an extended VIP bathroom (for all the new members) One must remind her to remind parsimonious and to plan religiously and meticulously.
Go forth in your new status and remind yourself to be ever vigilant against those who would milk the unsuspecting public of their hard earned cash.
As to some of your minor indiscretions, we will over look those as the balance of grift versus thrift will always sway in your favour.
Go forth and Tattle.
Father O'Malley
C/O The Order of St. Outrageous
On Sabbatical

Thank you. I shall try not to let it go to my head. Wise words of caution indeed. It is easy to see how people can get above their station just by watching Stephanie Jarvis go from Z list to A list celebrity in her mind. I shall keep my tippy toes on the ground & follow Father O'Malley's advice. @MojoDublin may try to tempt me away from the straight & narrow with her rewards I know, but I follow the path of righteousness. Let the Tattlers shine the light on the murky corners of the Chateau de la Lande from its junk filled loft to its smelly drains. No cupboard stuffed with moth holed fabric or fridge with past its sell by date food shall be left unsnooped upon. Past lies & patreon promises will be laid on the mucky kitchen table for all to see. Falsehoods, flattery & Fanny's fanny will be revealed like a no knicker wearing drunken chav falling out of a taxi. Tattlers won't rest until the chateau scam is uncovered. Over and out. The P&P.

 

[Gibbson]

At LAST Q - delighted beyond words only I will borrow @Jeeves sentiment - almost all the 15 back … on the rack

Services required

- a 7 star island
- new fleet … many new VIP s
( personalised jets please )
- new members club -
bloody @Heathcliff turned it into a personal den !!!

Also stinking great media splatt as
Stephanie Jarvis of The Chateau Diaries, Château de Lalande and Chateau Unwrapped

Needs a mighty climb down out of her own arse ….. seriously you’d not belived the fanatic flying monkeys she attracts ….
Simply look at support mammal to know last sign of taste was on her flip flops 🩴 … and she ate them !! Due to poverty

Delighted you haven’t expired

princess n the pea is here ….
Yo father o malley it’s me Nutti I is back

My dearest M

We must remember that we haven't the limitless funds of Patron. We may have enough funds for a few DIY bars at the back of the club. Landscaping can wait until we have a few quotes in (I see we have a landscaper on board and need to check out their rates)
The old jet will have to do.

Hola Nutti, Father O' Malley sends blessings on your new amour. We do frown on such public PDA's but as there is a lack of reliable workmen/ male presence in the area, then you must do what you must to keep the viewers entertained.

I did also feel I was giving Heathcliffe a sporting chance to reach VIP by not posting on here. To be honest I may do a double dip and beat him to it again

Q

 

[Pyke]

WARNING
All future Lalande Guests to watch this. Cocktail corner & the food !! The guests, the carpet, the artwork, the radiators, the invitation and even peacocks on the fireplace !

 

[Espe]

Mick Pethrick in his younger years

Wonderful! Makes you wonder what that child's father is like!!!

 

[Princess and the Pea]

Congratulations @Princess and the Pea

Ah thank you kindly...not sure how that happened but I'll take it. Not sure if 'ola this is Nutti will be welcome back..we'll see!!

 

[MojoDublin]

View attachment 1088470

Having noticed of late many newbies hardly read anything

Might be a suggestion that if you !! The real tartlets ….
Down the line need to send a signal … post this epic pic that @Sparrowsfart has provided

Then as one of the many 15
We’ll know ….


Saves a lot of time with the flying
Stephanie Jarvis of The Chateau Diaries, Château de Lalande and Chateau Unwrapped

 

[Jeeves]

Ah thank you kindly...not sure how that happened but I'll take it. Not sure if 'ola this is Nutti will be welcome back..we'll see!!

Oh I do hope so - I miss those chats!

 

[Princess and the Pea]

My dearest M

We must remember that we haven't the limitless funds of Patron. We may have enough funds for a few DIY bars at the back of the club. Landscaping can wait until we have a few quotes in (I see we have a landscaper on board and need to check out their rates)
The old jet will have to do.

Hola Nutti, Father O' Malley sends blessings on your new amour. We do frown on such public PDA's but as there is a lack of reliable workmen/ male presence in the area, then you must do what you must to keep the viewers entertained.

I did also feel I was giving Heathcliffe a sporting chance to reach VIP by not posting on here. To be honest I may do a double dip and beat him to it again

Q

It appears that since I was last here some of @MojoDublin M toys have been seen bobbing around the Venetian canals which is a good use of rewards. I understand the rules of the VIP club, times are hard blah blah..I did wonder however if there was any way that in the light of the lack of good men (any men) in the chateau area that I might be allowed to go further afield for the purposes of research & borrow the Porsche for a fact finding mission to see..um the goat farmer? All for the intel you understand Oh dear will Heathcliffe be in a strop now? Father O'Malley was a bit slurry when he rang me to offer his congratulations. I understand that there is some iffy communion wine going round the region apparently. Hasta luego amigos..Nuti is in dah house.

 

[Classicbeauty]

Here in US we have an “ornamental pear tree” problem. Also known as the “Bradford Pear”. They are invasive and the flowers smell like a used condom.

Yep- and strong winds make them split, sometimes right down the middle of the tree, which makes them look awful.

 

[Jeeves]

Another returning long time "lurker" spotted in the likes - welcome back Tandoori. Strength in numbers!

 

[MsMuir]

Very diplomatic Canadians ...

Or ass kissers

 

[KiKiGee]

FRK has yet again changed her IG bio. I should have been saving every change. I have counted 4 in one month. I may have missed some.

1/26/22 FRK's new IG bio blurb: I left Norway to live in a Chateau but I didn’t meet anyone so I moved to Yorkshire


2/26/22 Scandinavian florist living life abroad | Uk & France I do weddings and workshops @bymariewiik ~ as seen on Château DIY on Channel 4

 

[NotAChatelaine]

I think when people are living abroad, however well they get on with neighbours and colleagues, and however much they love the country they live in, it's often refreshing to meet someone occasionally from your own country who has a similar sense of humour to your own. Dan has a dry, witty sense of humour and he can be ironic, as can Kat, and I imagine they can engage in a friendly banter without anything deeper happening. Apart from Amaury, there isn't really anyone else at the chateau that he could have that kind of friendship with.

All very true. It's quite possible, and not even unusual, to have a platonic friendship, although some people are incredulous at the very idea and seem determined to fan the flames of a non-existent fire.

I've always rather liked Cat. She seems to be down to earth, intelligent, quick-witted, competent, has an interesting and fulfilling job in the real world and she gets on with things. An attribute in singularly short supply at Lalande, with the exception of Amaury and Dan.

I don't see Cat as being in SJ's thrall or seduced (I don't mean in a physical sense) by the faux "glamour" that envelopes Stephanie and the parallel universe she inhabits. There have been lots of remarks about Cat being jolly hockey sticks, boisterous, loud and - making it sound like the devil incarnate - probably ex public school. Which to me is nothing more than inverted snobbery! I went to public school. It doesn't make me a better or worse person. I couldn't give a flying fig where anybody was educated. It matters not a jot. (Went slightly off at a tangent, never mind...)

 

[WMGL]

Well, that's a whole different way of defining "class" than I thought we were talking about! Believe me, I watched more of what happened in Ottawa than I care to think about now. I live very rurally, in the western part of Canada, where it's just not the same type of thing as the British class thing we've been talking about.

I also watched the ongoing outrageous events unfolding, and then being cleared in Ottawa. Shocked that this could happen in the nation's capital. I learned that many were professional , paid ,organized protesters, and several were non Canadians. Why the Confederate and US flags? What the heck does this have to do with class, as we were discussing it previously.....unless you would call it "classlessness"?

We are most definitely extremely privileged.

And filled with gratitude for that.