When my eldest was 4, I was pregnant with my 3rd. The questions came. I answered them in all honesty, without the faffing around, relating alot of it to nature documentaries which he liked watching anyway. My younger ones in turn learnt by the words my eldest would make them say out loud to humour himself, who would ask what they meant.
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Growing up in Germany we had a magazine called Bravo, in there was the Dr Sommer section where they answered questions. Most of them were from teenagers and it was stuff like, my pen is not straight, my tina has discharge, how much masturbating is too much etc. That is pretty much where I learned everything.
The tampon thing.... I had a friend who was 3 years older that told me I should try them and that they are way better than pads.
The tampon thing.... I had a friend who was 3 years older that told me I should try them and that they are way better than pads.
I never had the talk either.
We had someone come into our class in Year 6 to give a talk and then the boys and girls were separated so we could talk about periods. A lot of my friends already had theirs. I didn't get mine till the following year and I remember being traumatized. I was staying with a family friend for a few weeks and cried my eyes out and rang my mum she thought I was being dramatic with my reaction
I remember walking in on my parents when I was about 9/10 but thankfully it was night time and I saw nothing. My parents never spoke about Sex to me and I always thought it was a forbidden topic in my house - my education came in the form of Sugar and Bliss magazine. Although, Mizz and Girl Talk were very early/soft petting entries.
We had someone come into our class in Year 6 to give a talk and then the boys and girls were separated so we could talk about periods. A lot of my friends already had theirs. I didn't get mine till the following year and I remember being traumatized. I was staying with a family friend for a few weeks and cried my eyes out and rang my mum she thought I was being dramatic with my reaction
I remember walking in on my parents when I was about 9/10 but thankfully it was night time and I saw nothing. My parents never spoke about Sex to me and I always thought it was a forbidden topic in my house - my education came in the form of Sugar and Bliss magazine. Although, Mizz and Girl Talk were very early/soft petting entries.
Ive always been up front. I'm of the opinion if they are old enough to ask the question then they are old enough to know the answer. My kids know no subject is off limits and that it will be answered honestly but appropriately. They are currently 14 and 12 but we've spoken about things such as different sexualities, grooming, sexual assault, pregnancy and abortion, STDs, masterbation, all conversations led by them. From a very young age we talked about consent, I always asked first before washing them in the bath, that their bodies are theirs etc. I'm a midwife so think it's so important my children feel comfortable with their bodies and know about healthy sexual relationships. I also used to work with sex offenders and think it's important my children know correct words for body parts and about consent.
Thank you for this. I really hope I can follow in your footsteps and do such a good job, be open and honest and push my own uncomfortableness (brought about I think by my own mum’s clear uncomfortableness with it all) aside.
The fact you are thinking about it already shows you've got this. It's not always comfortable and I'm thankful we've not gone into some specifics but I just want them to know they can always talk to me. I didn't have that when I was an older teen and it led to me being in a not very good situation.
There are some fab books too which help. I'll have a nose for the ones I got my older two and let you know the titles
Thank you, that would be wonderful. I look every so often but the choice is overwhelming so I’ve just put it off again and again
My mum did the period and sex talk as one, she’d arranged for everyone else to be out and for us to put the Christmas decorations up together as she explained.
To this day I hate putting the tree up.
To this day I hate putting the tree up.
Oh my god that phrase has brought back memories of the sex video they showed us at schoolI remember a VHS tape we watched in Year 5 or 6 which showed an entire family completely naked and honestly, I'm still traumatised at 27!
I also distinctly remember hearing the phrase "Fit together like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle" in regards to sex and it will never leave my mind
When my mum had my little sister she got a book from the midwife I was fascinated I think it was my favourite book
I once asked my mother what an ‘orgasm’ was (I’d have been about 14)
she told me it was ‘like a sneeze-nice but you don’t want it all day,everyday’
it took me YEARS to work out that you don’t sneeze during sex!
she told me it was ‘like a sneeze-nice but you don’t want it all day,everyday’
it took me YEARS to work out that you don’t sneeze during sex!
I got told nothing by my mum. I must have had a talk at school about periods as I knew what they were but when they started I didn't tell her as I was embarrassed. I developed really early too and was the first out of my friends to start which didn't help. I think I just used toilet paper for ages until period started and I leaked through my clothes one day...always remember they were blue and white striped shorts She then had to acknowledge it but all she said was "have your doodah's started" 
She used to leave a packet of pads on my bed every month and that was it.
Absolutely no discussion about sex. Everything I found out was through books (Thank You Judy Blume!), magazines and more knowledgeable friends but I was totally clueless really. It wasn't even so much the lack of knowledge about sex but about relationships and "life" that would have made my teenage years less tortuous. I always pretended I knew about stuff when people talked but in reality I was ignorant of it all.
My experience has made me determined that my children will not be the same. I have boys so haven't got into much detail about periods but will always be open about sex and relationships etc.
She then had to acknowledge it but all she said was "have your doodah's started" She used to leave a packet of pads on my bed every month and that was it. Absolutely no discussion about sex. Everything I found out was through books (Thank You Judy Blume!), magazines and more knowledgeable friends but I was totally clueless really. It wasn't even so much the lack of knowledge about sex but about relationships and "life" that would have made my teenage years less tortuous. I always pretended I knew about stuff when people talked but in reality I was ignorant of it all.
My experience has made me determined that my children will not be the same. I have boys so haven't got into much detail about periods but will always be open about sex and relationships etc.
My parents stopped sleeping together when My brother and I were fairly young, Mum used to sleep on the sofa. For me this is a profound memory, I never saw them be intimate with each other. I never found out the reason why, they never spoke about sex. So my sex education came from a weekly television programme at school, and fumblings with some not so great boys.
I remember how my Mum taught me about periods, she gave me a funny looking padded object and said I should put it in my knickers. And that was it.
I remember how my Mum taught me about periods, she gave me a funny looking padded object and said I should put it in my knickers. And that was it.
The responses in here have cracked me up!
I don't remember any conversation, either about sex or about periods. I think I mostly learnt from friends/school.
I don't remember any conversation, either about sex or about periods. I think I mostly learnt from friends/school.
This is a great thread! I also knew about sex and periods way before my mum told me (Judy Blume I think) so I’ve tried to just make periods especially part of life for my girls so I don’t really need to tell them as such.
They know they periods are monthly bleeds, that you use a tampon to catch the blood and that the blood is an egg being released that could make a baby. They know that tampons go into your tina, and they know the tina is inside their Minnie (cute word we use for pubis) as I hate it when woman don’t seem to know where their tina is.
sexwise, they’re too young to understand genuinely (I’ve tried!) so we go with mummy and daddy do a magic cuddle. They also know that a gay couple can have a baby by going to a doctor to help them.
they do think babies can come out of your tummy or your tina, which is From reading this thread I now think is potentially abit confusing because it sounds like it’s a choice but I’ve had 2 c sections so had to explain to my eldest what had happened when the youngest was born.
i think the bigger challenge will be telling them about consent/ respectful relationships and enjoying sex.
I started my periods very late (16 I think) so knew exactly what was going on by then
They know they periods are monthly bleeds, that you use a tampon to catch the blood and that the blood is an egg being released that could make a baby. They know that tampons go into your tina, and they know the tina is inside their Minnie (cute word we use for pubis) as I hate it when woman don’t seem to know where their tina is.
sexwise, they’re too young to understand genuinely (I’ve tried!) so we go with mummy and daddy do a magic cuddle. They also know that a gay couple can have a baby by going to a doctor to help them.
they do think babies can come out of your tummy or your tina, which is From reading this thread I now think is potentially abit confusing because it sounds like it’s a choice
but I’ve had 2 c sections so had to explain to my eldest what had happened when the youngest was born.i think the bigger challenge will be telling them about consent/ respectful relationships and enjoying sex.
I started my periods very late (16 I think) so knew exactly what was going on by then
My Mum is a midwife so was always really open and willing to talk about stuff. I don’t remember how she explained sex to me or how old I was but I vividly remember that family friends were struggling to conceive around that time and I must have been aware of this because after she explained it to me I said “oh so X puts his bum in Y’s bum?” 
I cringe thinking of that!
Also this was the extent of my school sex Ed in the early 00s...
I cringe thinking of that!Also this was the extent of my school sex Ed in the early 00s...
My mum sat down my sister and me with a children's book that covered reproduction in plants, animals, and then humans. By the end we were pretty bored and not really listening we ended up finding out most of it from friends / school anyway. I remember being a bit grossed out by the book which said something like "mummies and daddies feel very lovely and loving when they do this together." It didn't look like it was "lovely" at all
Attitudes to periods in our house were very different. My mother's family is from a conservative culture and my grandmother had grown up in a time where she'd been taught that periods were shameful and not to be mentioned. She told me about periods when I was 7 or so and took me out on a drive - she made it sound like something so horrifying and upsetting and I was distressed that I couldn't get out of the car. She also made it sound like I could expect to start my period soon, in reality it didn't happen until I was almost 13. As an adult my mum told me that my grandmother had heard or read something about how girls were now starting to menstruate earlier than before and it wasn't unusual for them to start while still in primary school, why she thought it was likely to happen to a 7-year-old is beyond me though!
we ended up finding out most of it from friends / school anyway. I remember being a bit grossed out by the book which said something like "mummies and daddies feel very lovely and loving when they do this together." It didn't look like it was "lovely" at allAttitudes to periods in our house were very different. My mother's family is from a conservative culture and my grandmother had grown up in a time where she'd been taught that periods were shameful and not to be mentioned. She told me about periods when I was 7 or so and took me out on a drive - she made it sound like something so horrifying and upsetting and I was distressed that I couldn't get out of the car. She also made it sound like I could expect to start my period soon, in reality it didn't happen until I was almost 13. As an adult my mum told me that my grandmother had heard or read something about how girls were now starting to menstruate earlier than before and it wasn't unusual for them to start while still in primary school, why she thought it was likely to happen to a 7-year-old is beyond me though!
My parents never gave me that talk, my Mum is a bit of a prude to be honest. Even at 25 I'm sure in her mind I am a virgin.
I remember the first time one of my friends had sex (I think we were both about 13) and she was telling me all about it all I could think of was "that's disgusting why would a boy want to go inside a girl". When the same friend told me a few months later she had swallowed his lets call them love juices, I was horrified! Although I'm pleased to report since experiencing it myself I do not have the same feelings of horror haha! I do think that I took a lot longer than my peers to come round to the idea of sex and to fully understand it, I only think if my parents had been more open with me about it I wouldn't have been so horrified by the thought.
I was having a sleepover round my uncles when I started my period, again, my Mother had never really spoken to me about what was going to happen, although I did start at about 10, so i was young, perhaps she was waiting until my early teens to speak about it. I saw the brown spotting im
I remember the first time one of my friends had sex (I think we were both about 13) and she was telling me all about it all I could think of was "that's disgusting why would a boy want to go inside a girl". When the same friend told me a few months later she had swallowed his lets call them love juices, I was horrified! Although I'm pleased to report since experiencing it myself I do not have the same feelings of horror haha! I do think that I took a lot longer than my peers to come round to the idea of sex and to fully understand it, I only think if my parents had been more open with me about it I wouldn't have been so horrified by the thought.
I was having a sleepover round my uncles when I started my period, again, my Mother had never really spoken to me about what was going to happen, although I did start at about 10, so i was young, perhaps she was waiting until my early teens to speak about it. I saw the brown spotting im
This is exactly the type of parent I aspire to be one day. I wasn't fortunate enough to be taught about all these things so I recognise how important it is to do so. I particularly love that you taught them from such a young age that their bodies are theirs. I'm sure your children will really appreciate the lessons you've given them as they grow older.
My parents were emotionally absent fuckwits who were so wrapped up in their own lives, so of course it's no surprise they never gave me that talk.
In 6th class in school, we had the government mandated talk where boys go in one classroom, girls in another and tbh, it was mainly about periods and the like. I don't think I fully understood the mechanics of sex until I was like 15/16 lol. I was also terrified of the thoughts of doing the deed! I think I lost my virginity when I was 17/18ish.
In 6th class in school, we had the government mandated talk where boys go in one classroom, girls in another and tbh, it was mainly about periods and the like. I don't think I fully understood the mechanics of sex until I was like 15/16 lol. I was also terrified of the thoughts of doing the deed! I think I lost my virginity when I was 17/18ish.
I was 7 when my brother's 11yr old friend told me what sex was, I don't recall feeling any emotion other than the urge to laugh. I must have told my mum about it because she remembers me coming to ask if it was true, she confirmed it. I ran off to play. When I was 14 my mum gave me a book about safe and consensual sex and relationships, it was a lighthearted book with comic style diagrams in it, it was a really good book but I don't recall my brother being given anything similar. I find it strange now that my parents thought it necessary to equip me to deal with boys but didn't feel it necessary to advise my brother how to behave around girls. My parents were always open about any questions we asked and always answered honestly, not that I ever asked my dad anything directly about sex, boys or periods, it just wasn't the done thing but he always gave my brother advice.