Hello all.
someone on the celebrity gossip thread sent me here and I would appreciate some advice on a very specific issue, although I have already got one very good suggestion from there.
My dearest friend of over 40 years, we are now both over 60, has, as is fairly typical with aging, put on a lot of weight and is now medically classed as obese. It is also causing her health issues. I know her husband mentions losing weight to her because he is genuinely scared for her health, she had a heart scare only last year.
She has been very good to me over our many years of friendship and I want to be kind and supportive, but every time I see her, her first and most common topic is her weight. ”I’m so large” “Nothing fits” “I’ve put 5 pounds on this week”. It’s been at least thred years now that this has been the main thing she talks about. When we go out, she will constantly point out women she thinks are fatter than her, and sometimes make disparaging remarks, which just makes me uncomfortable. (I know this is projection and she does it because she feels bad about herself.)
I am going to sound awful, but to be honest, I’m tired of this topic.
My main need for advice though is what do I actually say? Does she want me to sympathise or give her a pep talk or just listen?
I have some extra weight but it just doesn’t bother me that much. That said, everyone is different and I know it bothers her not just in terms of health but mainly how she looks. She is actually pretty active as she has a Dalmatian that she walks for miles every day. Any advice would be much appreciated on what to say to be a good friend, but also, maybe I don’t want to talk about this every time we see or speak to each other, which is pretty much every day.