The advice thread for random problems #6

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I’m having a bit of an issue.

I’m dealing with a professional that I’ve known for a few years. We have regular appointments. In the last few months, I’ve noticed a few planning inconsistencies from their end such as sending me the wrong links for meetings, not advising me of their time off and leaving me wondering if our meetings still stand etc.

They emailed me last week during my time off to tell me they needed to cancel our upcoming appointment due to a personal matter. I of course understood and sent them a supportive response.

I therefore went ahead and made other plans for this time slot as I took it the appointment was being cancelled.

I then suddenly got a meeting invite from them essentially reinstating our initial appointment at the last minute. The same appointment they said they’d need to cancel.

As I pay for their services, I found that a bit unprofessional, especially as I’m a longstanding client. I really sympathise with their personal matter but what was the point of sending me an email explaining their personal situation as the reason to cancel the appointment they later on reinstated at the last minute?

Although I felt bad about this, I sent them a response stating that my understanding was that the appointment was cancelled and I now have another commitment. I politely asked to reschedule but they never responded.

Am I being too harsh?
You are not too harsh. I think you are very understanding actually.
If you are paying for this service then you 100% have should raise this as an issue
 
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I’m having a bit of an issue.

I’m dealing with a professional that I’ve known for a few years. We have regular appointments. In the last few months, I’ve noticed a few planning inconsistencies from their end such as sending me the wrong links for meetings, not advising me of their time off and leaving me wondering if our meetings still stand etc.

They emailed me last week during my time off to tell me they needed to cancel our upcoming appointment due to a personal matter. I of course understood and sent them a supportive response.

I therefore went ahead and made other plans for this time slot as I took it the appointment was being cancelled.

I then suddenly got a meeting invite from them essentially reinstating our initial appointment at the last minute. The same appointment they said they’d need to cancel.

As I pay for their services, I found that a bit unprofessional, especially as I’m a longstanding client. I really sympathise with their personal matter but what was the point of sending me an email explaining their personal situation as the reason to cancel the appointment they later on reinstated at the last minute?

Although I felt bad about this, I sent them a response stating that my understanding was that the appointment was cancelled and I now have another commitment. I politely asked to reschedule but they never responded.

Am I being too harsh?
No you are not being harsh at all. She told you they needed to cancel so you made other plans. Sounds unprofessional on her part or possibly she’s just not very organised?
 
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I’m having a bit of an issue.

I’m dealing with a professional that I’ve known for a few years. We have regular appointments. In the last few months, I’ve noticed a few planning inconsistencies from their end such as sending me the wrong links for meetings, not advising me of their time off and leaving me wondering if our meetings still stand etc.

They emailed me last week during my time off to tell me they needed to cancel our upcoming appointment due to a personal matter. I of course understood and sent them a supportive response.

I therefore went ahead and made other plans for this time slot as I took it the appointment was being cancelled.

I then suddenly got a meeting invite from them essentially reinstating our initial appointment at the last minute. The same appointment they said they’d need to cancel.

As I pay for their services, I found that a bit unprofessional, especially as I’m a longstanding client. I really sympathise with their personal matter but what was the point of sending me an email explaining their personal situation as the reason to cancel the appointment they later on reinstated at the last minute?

Although I felt bad about this, I sent them a response stating that my understanding was that the appointment was cancelled and I now have another commitment. I politely asked to reschedule but they never responded.

Am I being too harsh?
Not too harsh at all. You are paying for their services and therefore if they are having personal issues in which are affecting their services, they are the ones that need to work out how to deal with this. If you have any agreement or contract, it might be worth giving this a review as to if there’s any clause about rescheduling/cancelling appointments. It might be worth highlighting that to them and explaining that you have concerns that this isn’t being followed and it might spark them into maybe getting some help organising or to take some time off if that’s what they need.
 
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I can’t sleep, for the last week I’ve had terrible toothache like throbbing I feel my teeth are actually just going to fall out when I’m asleep, so now I won’t sleep, stupid I know but I’ve taken 8 paracetamol tonight to try & dull the pain, plus mouthwash, saltwater, brushed them now my gums are bleeding & I just want to cry so much, the left side of my face is burning too & feel my tongue isn’t fitting in my mouth properly, I can’t afford to go to the dentist (I’m on a low income but don’t qualify for anything) plus I’m scared they will want to take all my teeth out, I don’t know what to do?
 
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I can’t sleep, for the last week I’ve had terrible toothache like throbbing I feel my teeth are actually just going to fall out when I’m asleep, so now I won’t sleep, stupid I know but I’ve taken 8 paracetamol tonight to try & dull the pain, plus mouthwash, saltwater, brushed them now my gums are bleeding & I just want to cry so much, the left side of my face is burning too & feel my tongue isn’t fitting in my mouth properly, I can’t afford to go to the dentist (I’m on a low income but don’t qualify for anything) plus I’m scared they will want to take all my teeth out, I don’t know what to do?
Please phone emergency dentist before you OD on paracetamol. Can you stagger with ibuprofen? Nothing you can do apart from face up to it and try and get help. I absolutely hate the dentist. Always take something with me to hold in my hands while they're doing their thing. Deep breaths, tell them you're nervous and scared: they will help! Maybe it's antibiotics etc you need as well but you won't know without being seen. Also if pain really bad go to pharmacy and ask for co-codamol . Something a bit stronger so you need less.
 
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You can take paracetamol and ibuprofen together as they may be more effective, just don't take more than the max of either in 24 hours.

My mum always used to swear by oil of cloves for toothache, if you can lay your hands on that it might help.

However you do really need a dentist, I know it's so hard to find an NHS one now, but I've seen it suggested to call 111, and they should be able to get you an appt with a dentist or at the dental hospital in your area. I think toothache is one of the worst pains, hope you can get it sorted soon.
 
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You can take paracetamol and ibuprofen together as they may be more effective, just don't take more than the max of either in 24 hours.

My mum always used to swear by oil of cloves for toothache, if you can lay your hands on that it might help.

However you do really need a dentist, I know it's so hard to find an NHS one now, but I've seen it suggested to call 111, and they should be able to get you an appt with a dentist or at the dental hospital in your area. I think toothache is one of the worst pains, hope you can get it sorted soon.
Thank you so much, I’ve been so lucky in the past & only really suffered with wisdom teeth pain, luckily were taken out, only had surface fillings but the past week I’ve really suffered, I’m convinced my teeth are just going to randomly fall out, even though not wobbly I’ve got a bit of earache/headache that I can cope with, found some clove oil in the cupboard so going to put some of that on & see how it goes. Toothache is the worst, I’m also convinced I grind my teeth in my sleep & just put it down to that at first & the more the pain has gone on the worse I think my anxiety has been as well.
 
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Thank you so much, I’ve been so lucky in the past & only really suffered with wisdom teeth pain, luckily were taken out, only had surface fillings but the past week I’ve really suffered, I’m convinced my teeth are just going to randomly fall out, even though not wobbly I’ve got a bit of earache/headache that I can cope with, found some clove oil in the cupboard so going to put some of that on & see how it goes. Toothache is the worst, I’m also convinced I grind my teeth in my sleep & just put it down to that at first & the more the pain has gone on the worse I think my anxiety has been as well.
Your teeth aren’t going to fall out, it doesn’t work that way, I don’t mean that harshly, just perhaps if you could apply the biology to it it could alleviate some fears. Even rotten, decayed teeth won’t fall out, they have to be physically removed.
NHS treatment is a price banding system so it’ll be £26.80 for emergency treatment then likely £73.50 if it’s a root canal or filling and maybe a prescription cost if it’s an abscess or similar. I appreciate if that out of reach but if you can do anything to afford it, it’s best to treat sooner than later before it gets worse and potentially more expensive.
Dental pain is the absolute worst, I remember having two abscesses getting pushed between the dentist and a&e and thinking I’d rather not live than have that pain everyday, I totally get it. But, please be careful with painkillers, you can damage your liver at the dose you’ve taken. If you’ve taken more than 8 in 24hrs you should call 111.
 
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Your teeth aren’t going to fall out, it doesn’t work that way, I don’t mean that harshly, just perhaps if you could apply the biology to it it could alleviate some fears. Even rotten, decayed teeth won’t fall out, they have to be physically removed.
NHS treatment is a price banding system so it’ll be £26.80 for emergency treatment then likely £73.50 if it’s a root canal or filling and maybe a prescription cost if it’s an abscess or similar. I appreciate if that out of reach but if you can do anything to afford it, it’s best to treat sooner than later before it gets worse and potentially more expensive.
Dental pain is the absolute worst, I remember having two abscesses getting pushed between the dentist and a&e and thinking I’d rather not live than have that pain everyday, I totally get it. But, please be careful with painkillers, you can damage your liver at the dose you’ve taken. If you’ve taken more than 8 in 24hrs you should call 111.
Thank you I’m just being silly I know with the feeling they are going to fall out, think lack of sleep & being in pain has heightened it more for me, I will ring 111 see if they can help & pluck up the courage to see a dentist, my own fault for putting it off for so long,
 
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Get 111 and ask to be referred to an emergency dentist. There’s something called the low income scheme that you might be able to use?
 
Thank you I’m just being silly I know with the feeling they are going to fall out, think lack of sleep & being in pain has heightened it more for me, I will ring 111 see if they can help & pluck up the courage to see a dentist, my own fault for putting it off for so long,
Oh I’m the same about my teeth! I even take photos of my teeth and send them to my closest friends asking if they think they’re looking different as I’ve got a couple of gaps which is absolutely fine!
 
Thank you I’m just being silly I know with the feeling they are going to fall out, think lack of sleep & being in pain has heightened it more for me, I will ring 111 see if they can help & pluck up the courage to see a dentist, my own fault for putting it off for so long,
I wonder it it’s your sinuses? They can affect teeth plus give headache, earache etc
 
I appear to be losing my grip 🤪.

Over Christmas I got to noticing how often I was dropping things i.e. jars, cans. This morning I decided to touch up some gloss, I can usually walk around with the small paint can in one hand, brush in the other, but today I couldn't hold the can 😕.

Early 40s, do a lot of keyboard work, has anyone experienced this? Are there any exercises anyone has tried?.
 
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I wonder it it’s your sinuses? They can affect teeth plus give headache, earache etc
I was going to suggest this as well. I had sinusitis and my cheeks and jaw/teeth hurt for a few weeks. Had antibiotics for it and the pain only started after finishing the antibiotics. It seemed to get worse at night as well
 
Any advice for sagging cheeks? I don’t really have wrinkles yet but starting to notice my skins isn’t as firm as before. What treatments are recommended for that. Apparently weight loss can give the illusion of firmer/younger face I’ve read
 
I wonder it it’s your sinuses? They can affect teeth plus give headache, earache etc
I was going to suggest this as well. I had sinusitis and my cheeks and jaw/teeth hurt for a few weeks. Had antibiotics for it and the pain only started after finishing the antibiotics. It seemed to get worse at night as well
I also thought sinuses! I really suffer with mine - my cheeks and face are so painful and makes me really aware of the roots of my teeth, which could explain feeling like they are going to fall out? You don't have to be blocked up in your nose to feel like this either.
 
I appear to be losing my grip 🤪.

Over Christmas I got to noticing how often I was dropping things i.e. jars, cans. This morning I decided to touch up some gloss, I can usually walk around with the small paint can in one hand, brush in the other, but today I couldn't hold the can 😕.

Early 40s, do a lot of keyboard work, has anyone experienced this? Are there any exercises anyone has tried?.
That sounds like something that needs to be checked with a doctor tbh
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Any advice for sagging cheeks? I don’t really have wrinkles yet but starting to notice my skins isn’t as firm as before. What treatments are recommended for that. Apparently weight loss can give the illusion of firmer/younger face I’ve read
As far as I'm aware only a face lift would really help with that. Some people get cheek filler with mixed results. I think weight loss would make it worse
 
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That sounds like something that needs to be checked with a doctor tbh
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As far as I'm aware only a face lift would really help with that. Some people get cheek filler with mixed results. I think weight loss would make it worse
Thanks, a face lift sounds a bit extreme as I’m only in early 30s
 
Thanks, a face lift sounds a bit extreme as I’m only in early 30s
Try to avoid invasive treatments as you’ll end up making it worse. Face yoga is brilliant and works quickly as do radio frequency / microcurrent type facials. And a decent skin care routine - doesn’t have to be expensive but give yourself a little lymphatic massage morning and evening.
 
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Thanks, a face lift sounds a bit extreme as I’m only in early 30s
Yeah too early for that, I'm in a similar situation btw, I have very pronounced nasolabial folds so looked into this quite a bit and the conclusion was facelift definitely is the only treatment that would properly sort it. I hope I can afford to get a mini facelift in my 40s or something! For now focusing on skincare and yeah maybe a bit of massage etc can help a little.

I also notice that the side I sleep on is worse so gonna try sleep more on my back 😅
 
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