The advice thread for random problems #4

[littlepup]

How much would you be looking to pay to get a fridge an freezer fixed? I don't know if the springs are away on the doors or if it's the seal around it, I can close it over but it's not staying tightly shut an can easily be pulled open again with barely any effort

The fridge an freezer are both built into the kitchen units as well so not something I can outright replace like a standalone am there's 0 room for a standalone

Can it be a joiner or does it need to be someone more specialised since it's a fridge an freezer

Sounds like the seal as it should create enough of a seal when closed that to springs being dodgy wouldn’t allow it to be opened. How old are they?
Not to patronise but have you checked all around the seal so see if it’s perished anywhere?
It’ll be a job for an appliance specialist I’d have thought. Something around £50 for a call out then price dependant on the issue if it’s out of warranty. But there’s standard warranty then a standard life expectancy on an appliance so if it’s not too old you can still appeal to the manufacturer to help under goodwill.

 

[HankMcPrank]

Thank you for being there for me whilst my son is in hospital.

 

[becca7721]

I finally, after six weeks, got two dates from social worker to meet with housing department and housing worker and landlord, potentially medical staff as well (last proving difficult due to social worker telling them their diagnosis is wrong)

Good Friday and Easter Monday OR start of May (being evicted after Easter) so May is useless.
They were contacted mid January.

Every person required is unavailable due to those being bank holidays.

Not too sure how to reply. Surely they must realise that as bank holidays no ones going to be available, nor is anywhere to meet? They’ve been a social worker here for well over ten years now (very rural so with the exception of very few shops (7/11 corner shop type) everything closed for the four days).

I did think of forwarding to housing officer/worker via charity and asking them to sort?

ETA another issue is new tenant has a major weed and a drink problem, to the extent my flat stinks of it and it’s making me very unwell. Apparently landlord doesn’t want to know. They’re ringing housing every day about why I’ve not left and sorted my life out yet.

So any advice?

 

[littlepup]

I finally, after six weeks, got two dates from social worker to meet with housing department and housing worker and landlord, potentially medical staff as well (last proving difficult due to social worker telling them their diagnosis is wrong)

Good Friday and Easter Monday OR start of May (being evicted after Easter) so May is useless.
They were contacted mid January.

Every person required is unavailable due to those being bank holidays.

Not too sure how to reply. Surely they must realise that as bank holidays no ones going to be available, nor is anywhere to meet? They’ve been a social worker here for well over ten years now (very rural so with the exception of very few shops (7/11 corner shop type) everything closed for the four days).

I did think of forwarding to housing officer/worker via charity and asking them to sort?

ETA another issue is new tenant has a major weed and a drink problem, to the extent my flat stinks of it and it’s making me very unwell. Apparently landlord doesn’t want to know. They’re ringing housing every day about why I’ve not left and sorted my life out yet.

So any advice?

Does it have to be in person? Could you suggest it’s done over zoom or similar then you might have more luck with dates?

 

[didisaythatoutloudoops]

Thank you all for the advice - I'm having lunch with my daughter today and I'm going to be showing her this. I hope she takes the sick leave and runs.Thank you all

 

[Snippysnips]

Sounds like the seal as it should create enough of a seal when closed that to springs being dodgy wouldn’t allow it to be opened. How old are they?
Not to patronise but have you checked all around the seal so see if it’s perished anywhere?
It’ll be a job for an appliance specialist I’d have thought. Something around £50 for a call out then price dependant on the issue if it’s out of warranty. But there’s standard warranty then a standard life expectancy on an appliance so if it’s not too old you can still appeal to the manufacturer to help under goodwill.

House will be 14 in may so not overly old but probably out of warranty, guessing it's just wear an tear an because of the weight on it, it has it's door then the kitchen unit door on top so it all matches in to the kitchen so both doors are really bulky an heavy

Seal all still looks normal, the door does look like it's slipped down a touch so I don't know if that's what's causing it either

 

[littlepup]

House will be 14 in may so not overly old but probably out of warranty, guessing it's just wear an tear an because of the weight on it, it has it's door then the kitchen unit door on top so it all matches in to the kitchen so both doors are really bulky an heavy

Seal all still looks normal, the door does look like it's slipped down a touch so I don't know if that's what's causing it either

Have a look on you tube and see if you can see how to detach the cupboard door and tighten that.
You can buy replacement integrated units quite easy at curry’s and the rest. If they’re 14 years old it’d probably a better bet than paying to fix the machine if it’s more than the door dropping.

 

[Snippysnips]

Have a look on you tube and see if you can see how to detach the cupboard door and tighten that.
You can buy replacement integrated units quite easy at curry’s and the rest. If they’re 14 years old it’d probably a better bet than paying to fix the machine if it’s more than the door dropping.

Thanks I'll have a look on there an see what I can do myself

 

[becca7721]

Does it have to be in person? Could you suggest it’s done over zoom or similar then you might have more luck with dates?

Must be in person - it’s to complete paperwork regarding court/practicalities of being street homeless (arrangements for sleeping bag etc) as temporary accommodation all inaccessible (it’s not for physically disabled) and I don’t have acccess to zoom or teams (device too old, no money to pay for another). It’ll be no different for dates. Says they’re fully booked for except 29th March and 1st April when they’re available all day, and, 2nd May (all bank holidays).

ETA Thank you!!

 

[Elle Woods]

Thank you all for the advice - I'm having lunch with my daughter today and I'm going to be showing her this. I hope she takes the sick leave and runs.Thank you all

How did it go speaking to your daughter yesterday? I really hope she is ok. No job is ever worth sacrificing your mental health for, it's really admirable that she's trying to push through but it's not worth it - they'll never ever thank her for it. Hopefully she can see that x

 

[becca7721]

I decided in the end to ask housing to sort out meeting and explain importance of meeting being done ASAP. I don’t know what they’re expecting social worker to do given she lives in a land whereby I can simply not want osteoarthritis anymore and I’ll magically get better and be able to climb stairs again

I think that’s the best option now.

 

[didisaythatoutloudoops]

How did it go speaking to your daughter yesterday? I really hope she is ok. No job is ever worth sacrificing your mental health for, it's really admirable that she's trying to push through but it's not worth it - they'll never ever thank her for it. Hopefully she can see that x

Thank you for asking! I told her everything, her friends have also given her exactly the same advice - so she's booked in with the GP on Friday. I think she's just scared of pulling the trigger so to speak. She's also very (I think overly) concerned with her professional reputation and likes to be helpful. Setting boundaries is hard for her.

I think she knows deep down it is a company that will try any manipulation they can to get people working even against their health. Another colleague, also on sick leave for mental health reasons for two weeks, was booked to attend an event the day after her planned return (basically to stop her extending her sick leave). A colleague who had knee surgery has been given no flexible working arrangements etc.

So I hope she goes through with it, in short.

 

[becca7721]

It’s difficult when a hard worker to set boundaries I had similar issues in the NHS.

I think professional reputation is something that can be a concern. I didn’t really think about it until I was fired from a job I was never employed to do (it being given to someone else as I supposedly couldn’t be trusted and I had theirs which was office work). The job was hell and the people worse. I did a comprehensive study that I was told was put in the bin as so awful which was then edited slightly and published under someone elses name after I left. I applied for work and got nowhere. An ex manager offered me another job, no reference, nothing - it turned out the ex employer was refusing to give me a reference at all (very bad sign). I was lucky I’d worked elsewhere and hard and people knew the place were dreadful, but if they hadn’t I’d have never worked again.

The study enabled the person named as author to open their own award winning business.

 

[didisaythatoutloudoops]

It’s difficult when a hard worker to set boundaries I had similar issues in the NHS.

I think professional reputation is something that can be a concern. I didn’t really think about it until I was fired from a job I was never employed to do (it being given to someone else as I supposedly couldn’t be trusted and I had theirs which was office work). The job was hell and the people worse. I did a comprehensive study that I was told was put in the bin as so awful which was then edited slightly and published under someone elses name after I left. I applied for work and got nowhere. An ex manager offered me another job, no reference, nothing - it turned out the ex employer was refusing to give me a reference at all (very bad sign). I was lucky I’d worked elsewhere and hard and people knew the place were dreadful, but if they hadn’t I’d have never worked again.

The study enabled the person named as author to open their own award winning business.

I'm so sorry to hear this. It just sounds outright unfair in every way. And as much as I'm realistic about the world, I hate when justice isn't served.

I know it's very easy to gush about your own child but she is such a hard worker. She has a chronic illness, a master's degree and is currently studying for another part time (on a full scholarship!) and hasn't taken a single day of sickness/leave off for either in months. And she's passing with flying colours!!! She'll take a lot of slack but being called lazy/not hard working/etc seems to really hit her right in the heart.

I wish she saw herself as I (and I'm sure her friends) see her

 

[becca7721]

I'm so sorry to hear this. It just sounds outright unfair in every way. And as much as I'm realistic about the world, I hate when justice isn't served.

I know it's very easy to gush about your own child but she is such a hard worker. She has a chronic illness, a master's degree and is currently studying for another part time (on a full scholarship!) and hasn't taken a single day of sickness/leave off for either in months. And she's passing with flying colours!!! She'll take a lot of slack but being called lazy/not hard working/etc seems to really hit her right in the heart.

I wish she saw herself as I (and I'm sure her friends) see her

Chronic illness which I have too takes a lot out of you just to meet every day basics. Never mind all the extra. For me too being called lazy etc really hurts because your illness takes so much out of you every day. Acknowledging that, for me, actually made it harder to cope with. That’s what it was like for me anyway.

 

[Phil Anne Throw Pee]

I'm so sorry to hear this. It just sounds outright unfair in every way. And as much as I'm realistic about the world, I hate when justice isn't served.

I know it's very easy to gush about your own child but she is such a hard worker. She has a chronic illness, a master's degree and is currently studying for another part time (on a full scholarship!) and hasn't taken a single day of sickness/leave off for either in months. And she's passing with flying colours!!! She'll take a lot of slack but being called lazy/not hard working/etc seems to really hit her right in the heart.

I wish she saw herself as I (and I'm sure her friends) see her

Sounds like the boss is ripe for a tribunal in any case - if not with your Daughter he will push someone else too hard and get his come uppance.

 

[JadeyJ]

Does anyone have any advice on dealing with an aggressive person? I’m talking about verbal and physical. Nothing has happened yet but it has the potential to and I’ve honestly never dealt with a woman like this, her and probably her mum, they’re both feral and thrive on drama and bad feeling.

 

[didisaythatoutloudoops]

Hello all! Update for you on my previous post - in short, daughter resigned from her job (amicably) and her boss has decided make her life a living hell for her 5 weeks of notice.

He's continuing to belittle, humiliate her, tell her to do one thing on the phone and claiming a totally different thing once she's done it - in front of colleagues. Banning her from meetings and shouting at her for not knowing what was said in them, etc. Worst of all for her, only one colleague has reached out to her to ask if she's ok. She hasn't asked them for anything, but she's really quite hurt that not a single one will even ask privately if she's doing alright - they're watching the boss act like this and burying their heads in the sand. She's hurt because they were a small office and all very close, and she's certainly helped them through tough times.

The doctor has put her on anti-anxiety medication and is willing to sign her off on sick leave until the end of her notice, which is now about 3 weeks. She knows going on it would absolutely burn any bridges, and leave her colleagues in a mess, which is why she's reluctant. But I'm really worried about her mental health - I've never seen her like this. She's in tears all day long, even at the weekend. This just isn't her. She's trying to keep a brave face up but I can see her crumbling each day.

Any advice? I want her to just take the sick leave and tell them to F off, but I'd appreciate any input.

So, latest update - she's going on sick leave. She's got the appointment Friday to be signed off but has asked her GP if he can confirm early that he'll definitely sign her off for the whole period. This is because she'll be in the office tomorrow and will hand over all of her items then, so that she can simply leave that day and never have to see them again. She has a one-to-one weekly meeting with her boss at 1:30pm and is going to tell him then all going well.

I know that conversation is going to be hell - and probably a screamfest on his side more than a 'conversation'. Aside from 'grin and bear it because you're escaping', any advice on what she should/shouldn't say? Should she even hand her belongings in that day, or act like everything is fine and simply email following the GP appointment that she won't be returning? Etc etc. All advice appreciated. Thank you!

 

[Snippysnips]

So, latest update - she's going on sick leave. She's got the appointment Friday to be signed off but has asked her GP if he can confirm early that he'll definitely sign her off for the whole period. This is because she'll be in the office tomorrow and will hand over all of her items then, so that she can simply leave that day and never have to see them again. She has a one-to-one weekly meeting with her boss at 1:30pm and is going to tell him then all going well.

I know that conversation is going to be hell - and probably a screamfest on his side more than a 'conversation'. Aside from 'grin and bear it because you're escaping', any advice on what she should/shouldn't say? Should she even hand her belongings in that day, or act like everything is fine and simply email following the GP appointment that she won't be returning? Etc etc. All advice appreciated. Thank you!

Would depend on what she needs to say, is there a way she can hand it all in an then just walk out? Or is there a lot she needs to discuss before that? Personally if she needs to talk about things then I would get it all out with without giving away she's never returning then at the very very last minute say "oh an by the way am done" then just walk out the door an not even give him a chance to say anything back, maybe even put on headphones as she's walking out so she doesn't hear any vile he spews at her as well an chin up too, if there's one thing I've learned with people like that is never slow them they have gotten to you, she's going to be going off to a much better workplace so chin up an don't even look at any of them in the place, just march on right out the door

Does she also still need the meeting if she's leaving? I don't know how the work place is but when I left a previous job because of stress, I basically just walked in, grabbed my stuff an handed them the sick note then said my notice was in with it an walked right back out again, never seen them again or even gave them the chance to talk about it, I just went
---

Does anyone have any advice on dealing with an aggressive person? I’m talking about verbal and physical. Nothing has happened yet but it has the potential to and I’ve honestly never dealt with a woman like this, her and probably her mum, they’re both feral and thrive on drama and bad feeling.

If you absolutely need to see them then maybe take someone with you, it's better to have another on your side if things turn nasty an they can also be a witness, haven't really dealt with that before so can't really offer any good advice but if it were me I'd maybe want someone there so am not on my own, it also gives you someone to back you up, but if they are like that then I guess it would kick off anyway even if you remained calm so two is better than one

 

[didisaythatoutloudoops]

Would depend on what she needs to say, is there a way she can hand it all in an then just walk out? Or is there a lot she needs to discuss before that? Personally if she needs to talk about things then I would get it all out with without giving away she's never returning then at the very very last minute say "oh an by the way am done" then just walk out the door an not even give him a chance to say anything back, maybe even put on headphones as she's walking out so she doesn't hear any vile he spews at her as well an chin up too, if there's one thing I've learned with people like that is never slow them they have gotten to you, she's going to be going off to a much better workplace so chin up an don't even look at any of them in the place, just march on right out the door

Does she also still need the meeting if she's leaving? I don't know how the work place is but when I left a previous job because of stress, I basically just walked in, grabbed my stuff an handed them the sick note then said my notice was in with it an walked right back out again, never seen them again or even gave them the chance to talk about it, I just went

Sorry I wasn't very clear, my fault there. My understanding is she's got to hand over a work laptop, credit card, keys, etc. With how they've behaved so far I wouldn't want her to just leave them - I wouldn't put it past the boss to claim she smashed up the laptop and try and take the cost of a new one out of her final pay. So she's got a bit of admin to do at least. Her desk is packed up and ready to go.

The sick note will be coming the next day - so she'll have to send that in to HR by email. But she'll inevitably have to tell her boss, if she's going to give everything back that day.