The advice thread for random problems #3

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Uninsured driver hit my car yesterday and made off. It’s going to cost me more to claim on my insurance and put my price up next year, so I’m attempting to fix it myself.

Theres scuff marks on my bumper, can I use a magic sponge to buff it off or will it further ruin the paint? There’s a bit I need to touch in with a paint pen, is this hard to do?!

Any recommendations for products that help will be gratefully received! So angry every time I look at it!
Are you able to post a picture of what you are trying to fix? Is it paint of the other car that has been left behind? Your car manufacturer should do a touch up kit.
 
Are you able to post a picture of what you are trying to fix? Is it paint of the other car that has been left behind? Your car manufacturer should do a touch up kit.
Pics not very good but the bit with the arrow is slightly dented so I really can’t fix that myself.

It’s the paint along the side that I want to fix really. The scuffs are paint/marks left behind from his plastic bumper. It’s gone down to the metal in one part where the darker spot is.

Some people are telling me to t-cut out, others say magic sponge, others say WD40 so not sure what’s best and I don’t want to make it worse. Then again, what have I got to lose? 😂🤦🏽‍♀️

Is it better to fill in the darker spot with paint and then t-cut or t cut to get scuffs out and then paint?!
 

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Pics not very good but the bit with the arrow is slightly dented so I really can’t fix that myself.

It’s the paint along the side that I want to fix really. The scuffs are paint/marks left behind from his plastic bumper. It’s gone down to the metal in one part where the darker spot is.

Some people are telling me to t-cut out, others say magic sponge, others say WD40 so not sure what’s best and I don’t want to make it worse. Then again, what have I got to lose? 😂🤦🏽‍♀️

Is it better to fill in the darker spot with paint and then t-cut or t cut to get scuffs out and then paint?!
is it a fiat? You can get bumpers for a good price at most scrap yards if you cannot get it out
 
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Uninsured driver hit my car yesterday and made off. It’s going to cost me more to claim on my insurance and put my price up next year, so I’m attempting to fix it myself.

Theres scuff marks on my bumper, can I use a magic sponge to buff it off or will it further ruin the paint? There’s a bit I need to touch in with a paint pen, is this hard to do?!

Any recommendations for products that help will be gratefully received! So angry every time I look at it!
Bit of a random one, but if you happen to have access to industrial grade cleaning wipes, they might remove some of it. I had a painted door v silver car mishap and they removed the vast majority of paint transfer. The touch up kit should sort the rest.
 
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For the last week or so, invisible ants have been hanging around my kitchen. One of the cupboards had a group of them hanging out in there and even penetrated a closed jar.

I’m pretty clean and all my cupboards were clean. I also clean the counters after each use.

I removed all foods from the cupboards, threw everything away and left them empty. I ditched everything on the counters too. All surfaces have been disinfected. However, I have noticed two or three of them hanging around some dead wood in my kitchen (see picture below for one area).

I’m renting and the kitchen is 20+ years old. The dead wood has been there since I moved in. It seems the kitchen was never refurbished. It’s in several areas of the kitchen. I’m suspecting it has something to do with it and needs to be removed.

Does anyone know if this could indeed be the issue?


AB466956-1482-43D1-AFA2-7EC434301A39.jpeg
 
Pics not very good but the bit with the arrow is slightly dented so I really can’t fix that myself.

It’s the paint along the side that I want to fix really. The scuffs are paint/marks left behind from his plastic bumper. It’s gone down to the metal in one part where the darker spot is.

Some people are telling me to t-cut out, others say magic sponge, others say WD40 so not sure what’s best and I don’t want to make it worse. Then again, what have I got to lose? 😂🤦🏽‍♀️

Is it better to fill in the darker spot with paint and then t-cut or t cut to get scuffs out and then paint?!
Never heard of using a magic sponge before, but I reckon that's worth a try before you buy anything else. If it's paint left behind by him though, a gentle cutting compound should get it off, at least that will take your eye away from the dent. Can't see it in the picture if that's any consolation.
 
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Could do with a bit of advice:

There's a woman I know as we used to work and socialise together like eleven years ago. This was in another country. Anyway life moved on for both of us but we kept in touch sporadically. We are both back living in the UK / Ireland now.

I'm really terrible at friendships and boundaries and over the years have got myself involved in friendships that I don't enjoy and struggle to get out of. This is one of those now. I had hoped it would fade away as I never initiated contact and reply very briefly to messages however this hasn't worked. She is keen on long long phone catch ups, like hours long, and I have avoided those for about 3 years.

I have nothing against her but it was a friendship that had a purpose at the time and I know this sounds harsh but I don't really get any reward from it, or particularly enjoy our conversations. She is very guarded and doesn't share much and I end up doing most of the talking which is why I tried to fade away. I don't want to hurt her at all as I know she struggles significantly with mental health.

So my issue is that she has recently started back up with the long messages asking for a phone catch up which I am trying to avoid. However I will be visiting her city next weekend.

She would be very happy if I told her this and arranged to meet. But then it's like all my efforts to fade away will be for nothing.

I'm aware I sound like a complete twit. I'm a major people pleaser and in the last couple of years have just had less interest in people pleasing everyone under the sun.

However this still niggles at me. Should I arrange to meet her for a quick coffee or similar? She is a lovely person just don't feel like we've that much in common anymore.

Edit: I should have said I am visiting her city to meet up with relatives so not just a random city break.
 
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Could do with a bit of advice:

There's a woman I know as we used to work and socialise together like eleven years ago. This was in another country. Anyway life moved on for both of us but we kept in touch sporadically. We are both back living in the UK / Ireland now.

I'm really terrible at friendships and boundaries and over the years have got myself involved in friendships that I don't enjoy and struggle to get out of. This is one of those now. I had hoped it would fade away as I never initiated contact and reply very briefly to messages however this hasn't worked. She is keen on long long phone catch ups, like hours long, and I have avoided those for about 3 years.

I have nothing against her but it was a friendship that had a purpose at the time and I know this sounds harsh but I don't really get any reward from it, or particularly enjoy our conversations. She is very guarded and doesn't share much and I end up doing most of the talking which is why I tried to fade away. I don't want to hurt her at all as I know she struggles significantly with mental health.

So my issue is that she has recently started back up with the long messages asking for a phone catch up which I am trying to avoid. However I will be visiting her city next weekend.

She would be very happy if I told her this and arranged to meet. But then it's like all my efforts to fade away will be for nothing.

I'm aware I sound like a complete twit. I'm a major people pleaser and in the last couple of years have just had less interest in people pleasing everyone under the sun.

However this still niggles at me. Should I arrange to meet her for a quick coffee or similar? She is a lovely person just don't feel like we've that much in common anymore.
No, don't. I understand why you want to because I'd be the same, but don't. Go on your trip, enjoy it and don't feel remotely guilty. Just don't post anything on social media!
 
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Could do with a bit of advice:

There's a woman I know as we used to work and socialise together like eleven years ago. This was in another country. Anyway life moved on for both of us but we kept in touch sporadically. We are both back living in the UK / Ireland now.

I'm really terrible at friendships and boundaries and over the years have got myself involved in friendships that I don't enjoy and struggle to get out of. This is one of those now. I had hoped it would fade away as I never initiated contact and reply very briefly to messages however this hasn't worked. She is keen on long long phone catch ups, like hours long, and I have avoided those for about 3 years.

I have nothing against her but it was a friendship that had a purpose at the time and I know this sounds harsh but I don't really get any reward from it, or particularly enjoy our conversations. She is very guarded and doesn't share much and I end up doing most of the talking which is why I tried to fade away. I don't want to hurt her at all as I know she struggles significantly with mental health.

So my issue is that she has recently started back up with the long messages asking for a phone catch up which I am trying to avoid. However I will be visiting her city next weekend.

She would be very happy if I told her this and arranged to meet. But then it's like all my efforts to fade away will be for nothing.

I'm aware I sound like a complete twit. I'm a major people pleaser and in the last couple of years have just had less interest in people pleasing everyone under the sun.

However this still niggles at me. Should I arrange to meet her for a quick coffee or similar? She is a lovely person just don't feel like we've that much in common anymore.

Edit: I should have said I am visiting her city to meet up with relatives so not just a random city break.
Personally I would sacrifice and hour a month to talk on the phone. Make that your community service. Always have an excuse to get off the phone after the hour is up
 
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I have a question about birthday presents and relatives… when do I stop being expected to buy birthday presents for nieces and nephews? My niece is 20 coming up and we don’t see her, we’re not close. Am thinking token present this year and next yr for her 21st then cards from then on?
 
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I have a question about birthday presents and relatives… when do I stop being expected to buy birthday presents for nieces and nephews? My niece is 20 coming up and we don’t see her, we’re not close. Am thinking token present this year and next yr for her 21st then cards from then on?
I think if you’re not close, 21 is more than acceptable. My aunts and uncles who I don’t see, couldn’t even tell you my birthday so I think you’ve been very kind. Amazon vouchers never come in wrong
 
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I stopped getting for my niece at 18, will get something for 21st but after that nothing. I too don’t see her often and with having a family as big as mine it’s impossible to buy for everyone
 
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is it a fiat? You can get bumpers for a good price at most scrap yards if you cannot get it out
Yup Fiat 500, will have a look if I can’t make it look half decent!
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Bit of a random one, but if you happen to have access to industrial grade cleaning wipes, they might remove some of it. I had a painted door v silver car mishap and they removed the vast majority of paint transfer. The touch up kit should sort the rest.
Will have a look! Willing to try anything!
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Never heard of using a magic sponge before, but I reckon that's worth a try before you buy anything else. If it's paint left behind by him though, a gentle cutting compound should get it off, at least that will take your eye away from the dent. Can't see it in the picture if that's any consolation.
Pic doesn’t look as bad in the pic- but it’s all I can see now everytime I walk up to my car 😢 Friend is going to try and “pull it out” with a bit of hot water later but I reckon where it’s been hit he won’t be able to get to the other side to push it back out if that makes sense?

Thanks all for your help- making the best out of a bad situation! x
 
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I have a question about birthday presents and relatives… when do I stop being expected to buy birthday presents for nieces and nephews? My niece is 20 coming up and we don’t see her, we’re not close. Am thinking token present this year and next yr for her 21st then cards from then on?
I’m in my 20s and don’t expect anything, I’d say I got some token cash for my 18th and 21st but that’s more than enough!
 
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I have a question about birthday presents and relatives… when do I stop being expected to buy birthday presents for nieces and nephews? My niece is 20 coming up and we don’t see her, we’re not close. Am thinking token present this year and next yr for her 21st then cards from then on?
I stopped getting presents after my 18th, a card is nice after that but I wouldn’t expect it.
 
For the last week or so, invisible ants have been hanging around my kitchen. One of the cupboards had a group of them hanging out in there and even penetrated a closed jar.

I’m pretty clean and all my cupboards were clean. I also clean the counters after each use.

I removed all foods from the cupboards, threw everything away and left them empty. I ditched everything on the counters too. All surfaces have been disinfected. However, I have noticed two or three of them hanging around some dead wood in my kitchen (see picture below for one area).

I’m renting and the kitchen is 20+ years old. The dead wood has been there since I moved in. It seems the kitchen was never refurbished. It’s in several areas of the kitchen. I’m suspecting it has something to do with it and needs to be removed.

Does anyone know if this could indeed be the issue?


View attachment 2482220
Anyone?
 
I have been playing for a friendly netball team for a few weeks on a Wednesday. It has been lovely and my team are so nice but the other women are absolutely toxic and it is totally making it a vile place to be. Slagging everyone off then telling tales about who has said what. Why can’t we just play and be nice. They play quite rough as well which is not my thing I try my best to stick to the rules but they really are horrid. I don’t want to leave as I like my team and they won’t have enough people if I leave not too sure what to do to escape the horribleness. Honestly women are ao witchy I have loved it apart from that! Tonight someone has told me another team have been slagging me off for various things 😣
 
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I have been playing for a friendly netball team for a few weeks on a Wednesday. It has been lovely and my team are so nice but the other women are absolutely toxic and it is totally making it a vile place to be. Slagging everyone off then telling tales about who has said what. Why can’t we just play and be nice. They play quite rough as well which is not my thing I try my best to stick to the rules but they really are horrid. I don’t want to leave as I like my team and they won’t have enough people if I leave not too sure what to do to escape the horribleness. Honestly women are ao witchy I have loved it apart from that! Tonight someone has told me another team have been slagging me off for various things 😣
They probably think they can get in people’s heads if they do this. It’s a horrible thing to do. Really sucks that they are ruining what should be such a nice, active hobby for you ☹
 
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I have been playing for a friendly netball team for a few weeks on a Wednesday. It has been lovely and my team are so nice but the other women are absolutely toxic and it is totally making it a vile place to be. Slagging everyone off then telling tales about who has said what. Why can’t we just play and be nice. They play quite rough as well which is not my thing I try my best to stick to the rules but they really are horrid. I don’t want to leave as I like my team and they won’t have enough people if I leave not too sure what to do to escape the horribleness. Honestly women are ao witchy I have loved it apart from that! Tonight someone has told me another team have been slagging me off for various things 😣
Have you tried Korfball? I have a few friends who play that instead of netball
 
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