The advice thread for random problems #3

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Anyone know a good toning cream? I've been doing a lot of toning exercises but I feel a cream might help just tighten the skin up a bit more
I heard good things about micro needling if you're up for that? Then any moisturiser would do. I've tried it on my arms, might just be my imagination but they seem more toned.
 
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This is annoying and stupid but does anyone know of a way to block someone on Facebook from seeing your posts but without unfriending them? I have one of MiL’s friends on my Facebook and I very rarely post but whenever I do, she immediately calls Mil and tells her what I’ve posted. Mil then calls my husband and wants to know why we didn’t tell her we did xyz. It’s really bleeping annoying. If I unfriend the wretched woman, all hell will break loose so I just want her to stop seeing my posts. I’ve tried searching but can’t find any useful answer.
Why is she so interested in what you do?
Bizarre - is she not embarrassed behaving like this!?!
 
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I heard good things about micro needling if you're up for that? Then any moisturiser would do. I've tried it on my arms, might just be my imagination but they seem more toned.
I've never heard of that but looked it up an I don't think it's something I'd want to do, I don't fear needles but I'd prefer to stay away from them
 
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Anyone know a good toning cream? I've been doing a lot of toning exercises but I feel a cream might help just tighten the skin up a bit more
There used to be a L’Oréal cellulite one that really worked but they stopped making it because I don’t think they’re allowed to make certain claims. The general consciences seems to be that hydration and massage will help so the product itself is by the by. That’s said I remember using the Nivea Q10 one that seemed pretty good.
Body brushing is supposed to help too and I’ve seen people claim that a body scrub made with a bit of shower gel and fresh coffee grounds is good but I’ve no experience of this myself.
 
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There used to be a L’Oréal cellulite one that really worked but they stopped making it because I don’t think they’re allowed to make certain claims. The general consciences seems to be that hydration and massage will help so the product itself is by the by. That’s said I remember using the Nivea Q10 one that seemed pretty good.
Body brushing is supposed to help too and I’ve seen people claim that a body scrub made with a bit of shower gel and fresh coffee grounds is good but I’ve no experience of this myself.
Thanks I'll maybe look at that, I know they say that just massaging the skin is good but it would be nice to have a cream or something to massage with, there used to be one years ago that heated up as you massaged it in but I can't remember the name or who done it
 
This is annoying and stupid but does anyone know of a way to block someone on Facebook from seeing your posts but without unfriending them? I have one of MiL’s friends on my Facebook and I very rarely post but whenever I do, she immediately calls Mil and tells her what I’ve posted. Mil then calls my husband and wants to know why we didn’t tell her we did xyz. It’s really bleeping annoying. If I unfriend the wretched woman, all hell will break loose so I just want her to stop seeing my posts. I’ve tried searching but can’t find any useful answer.
I’d start posting twice as much and let MIL cry about it. Say you don’t need to tell her what you’re doing because Nosey Parker will fill her in anyway.
 
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This is annoying and stupid but does anyone know of a way to block someone on Facebook from seeing your posts but without unfriending them? I have one of MiL’s friends on my Facebook and I very rarely post but whenever I do, she immediately calls Mil and tells her what I’ve posted. Mil then calls my husband and wants to know why we didn’t tell her we did xyz. It’s really bleeping annoying. If I unfriend the wretched woman, all hell will break loose so I just want her to stop seeing my posts. I’ve tried searching but can’t find any useful answer.
There's an easy solution which is you restrict what the person can see on your FB. I've restricted Mr Lolz's whole family for the same reason. His mum and sister was always questioning me about meme's I post and thinking it's aimed at them.....it's a bleeping meme!
Anyway they've been restricted to the point they can only see my profile photo and whatever is public on my profile (which is nothing)
 
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Appreciate we’re months away but I’m going to be asked about this soon… Christmas- a family member has been nasty about my little one (nearly 5 months old). She hates kids and sadly this has translated to my little one and she’s let me know her feelings. She will be there at Christmas unless she’s uninvited (it won’t happen which is fine as I’m not the one hosting Christmas, it’ll be my parents). I’ve cut her out, not spoken since it happened a month ago, what she’s done is unforgivable imo and I don’t want her around my baby.

I don’t want to put my parents in the middle but I also don’t want my child around her. It’ll be her first Christmas so I want it to be special, and my parents will want to be with her. I’m not one for dramatics so don’t want to give my parents an ultimatum, but I also don’t want to be around her. I’m in two minds whether to just go as it’s just one day, or whether I say I don’t want her around the baba and we celebrate Christmas on Boxing Day or something. Sadly my mum will be upset regardless but it’s not something I’m backing down on and all the emotional blackmail in the world won’t make me feel any different, saying something about me is one thing but I can’t forgive saying something about my innocent baby.

So ultimately I’m not sure what to do, I don’t think there’s a right answer as someone will get upset regardless.
 
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Appreciate we’re months away but I’m going to be asked about this soon… Christmas- a family member has been nasty about my little one (nearly 5 months old). She hates kids and sadly this has translated to my little one and she’s let me know her feelings. She will be there at Christmas unless she’s uninvited (it won’t happen which is fine as I’m not the one hosting Christmas, it’ll be my parents). I’ve cut her out, not spoken since it happened a month ago, what she’s done is unforgivable imo and I don’t want her around my baby.

I don’t want to put my parents in the middle but I also don’t want my child around her. It’ll be her first Christmas so I want it to be special, and my parents will want to be with her. I’m not one for dramatics so don’t want to give my parents an ultimatum, but I also don’t want to be around her. I’m in two minds whether to just go as it’s just one day, or whether I say I don’t want her around the baba and we celebrate Christmas on Boxing Day or something. Sadly my mum will be upset regardless but it’s not something I’m backing down on and all the emotional blackmail in the world won’t make me feel any different, saying something about me is one thing but I can’t forgive saying something about my innocent baby.

So ultimately I’m not sure what to do, I don’t think there’s a right answer as someone will get upset regardless.
Ask your parents to split the day in half and you either go morning/afternoon or afternoon/evening. And she who shall not be mentioned can get the other space
 
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This is annoying and stupid but does anyone know of a way to block someone on Facebook from seeing your posts but without unfriending them? I have one of MiL’s friends on my Facebook and I very rarely post but whenever I do, she immediately calls Mil and tells her what I’ve posted. Mil then calls my husband and wants to know why we didn’t tell her we did xyz. It’s really bleeping annoying. If I unfriend the wretched woman, all hell will break loose so I just want her to stop seeing my posts. I’ve tried searching but can’t find any useful answer.
I don’t think there is a way 😬

I would just delete. She doesn’t need to be passing on your info all the time. If she asks why you can tell her


Eta there is a way glad people have told you. Hope it works
 
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Appreciate we’re months away but I’m going to be asked about this soon… Christmas- a family member has been nasty about my little one (nearly 5 months old). She hates kids and sadly this has translated to my little one and she’s let me know her feelings. She will be there at Christmas unless she’s uninvited (it won’t happen which is fine as I’m not the one hosting Christmas, it’ll be my parents). I’ve cut her out, not spoken since it happened a month ago, what she’s done is unforgivable imo and I don’t want her around my baby.

I don’t want to put my parents in the middle but I also don’t want my child around her. It’ll be her first Christmas so I want it to be special, and my parents will want to be with her. I’m not one for dramatics so don’t want to give my parents an ultimatum, but I also don’t want to be around her. I’m in two minds whether to just go as it’s just one day, or whether I say I don’t want her around the baba and we celebrate Christmas on Boxing Day or something. Sadly my mum will be upset regardless but it’s not something I’m backing down on and all the emotional blackmail in the world won’t make me feel any different, saying something about me is one thing but I can’t forgive saying something about my innocent baby.

So ultimately I’m not sure what to do, I don’t think there’s a right answer as someone will get upset regardless.
I'd prob go morning for presents before the family member is there then go boxing day (or have your parents at yours on boxing day) for a Xmas dinner, I know you said your parents would be dissapointed but sometimes it's better so that the whole day isn't ruined, are you a single parent? Nothing bad about it but if not then why not say that the other grandparents want Xmas dinner at theirs so you can have a Xmas day on boxing day with yours

When it comes to me neice my brother rotates her grandparents, so this year they will come to us in the morning so she can open her presents then they will go to her other grandparents for the day an for dinner an come to us for dinner on boxing day, last year they went in the morning to her other grandparents for presents then come to us on Xmas day, that way both grandparents get her at Xmas
 
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Appreciate we’re months away but I’m going to be asked about this soon… Christmas- a family member has been nasty about my little one (nearly 5 months old). She hates kids and sadly this has translated to my little one and she’s let me know her feelings. She will be there at Christmas unless she’s uninvited (it won’t happen which is fine as I’m not the one hosting Christmas, it’ll be my parents). I’ve cut her out, not spoken since it happened a month ago, what she’s done is unforgivable imo and I don’t want her around my baby.

I don’t want to put my parents in the middle but I also don’t want my child around her. It’ll be her first Christmas so I want it to be special, and my parents will want to be with her. I’m not one for dramatics so don’t want to give my parents an ultimatum, but I also don’t want to be around her. I’m in two minds whether to just go as it’s just one day, or whether I say I don’t want her around the baba and we celebrate Christmas on Boxing Day or something. Sadly my mum will be upset regardless but it’s not something I’m backing down on and all the emotional blackmail in the world won’t make me feel any different, saying something about me is one thing but I can’t forgive saying something about my innocent baby.

So ultimately I’m not sure what to do, I don’t think there’s a right answer as someone will get upset regardless.
Bloody hell what did she say? Don’t blame you for not wanting this person around your child. It would totally ruin xmas for you if you were altogether and you didn’t want to be. Speak to your parents see what they say.
 
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Appreciate we’re months away but I’m going to be asked about this soon… Christmas- a family member has been nasty about my little one (nearly 5 months old). She hates kids and sadly this has translated to my little one and she’s let me know her feelings. She will be there at Christmas unless she’s uninvited (it won’t happen which is fine as I’m not the one hosting Christmas, it’ll be my parents). I’ve cut her out, not spoken since it happened a month ago, what she’s done is unforgivable imo and I don’t want her around my baby.

I don’t want to put my parents in the middle but I also don’t want my child around her. It’ll be her first Christmas so I want it to be special, and my parents will want to be with her. I’m not one for dramatics so don’t want to give my parents an ultimatum, but I also don’t want to be around her. I’m in two minds whether to just go as it’s just one day, or whether I say I don’t want her around the baba and we celebrate Christmas on Boxing Day or something. Sadly my mum will be upset regardless but it’s not something I’m backing down on and all the emotional blackmail in the world won’t make me feel any different, saying something about me is one thing but I can’t forgive saying something about my innocent baby.

So ultimately I’m not sure what to do, I don’t think there’s a right answer as someone will get upset regardless.
i’m so sorry - this is horrible and especially on your baby’s first christmas :(

ultimately, to say something nasty about a family member’s baby is unforgivable imo. i’m not great with kids myself but i would never even dream of crossing the line like that, let alone make someone so uncomfortable that they don’t want their child around me.

it’s tough but i think you have to look out for yourself and baby here and do what is right for you both. christmas, especially her first one, is meant to be lovely and fun: i can only second what others have said about you splitting the day to avoid the other person and so hopefully still keeping it a nice experience for you and your baby.
 
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It was her wedding which was child-free but for various reasons I didn’t feel comfortable leaving my 3 month old for 12+ hours. Asked if I could bring her, she said having her there (this is my sister talking about her niece) would ruin their perfect day, she doesn’t want her anywhere near the ceremony, doesn’t want her on their table, and would rather I didn’t come than bring her. If she had given me a generic answer about it being child free etc then I legitimately would not be upset (or given me the actual reason which was she doesn’t want kids but her psychotic MIL was OBSESSED with asking about my little one and clearly pressuring her). I did not say a word back about how hurtful it was to say all those things, and she used my daughter’s name specifically when saying “baby muffin will ruin my perfect day”. Thing is if one of her friends had asked her she wouldn’t have told them their child would ruin her wedding (her friends don’t have kids so she doesn’t understand what’s off limits anyway). She just made it very personal and has previously made what I would call dodgy comments which I’ve let go in the past but that was the final straw (e.g. I’ll never babysit her, referring to her as “cupboard” for most of my pregnancy despite asking her to not).

My OH’s family don’t live here and don’t celebrate Christmas, but I like the idea of splitting the day and then continuing on Boxing Day.
 
It was her wedding which was child-free but for various reasons I didn’t feel comfortable leaving my 3 month old for 12+ hours. Asked if I could bring her, she said having her there (this is my sister talking about her niece) would ruin their perfect day, she doesn’t want her anywhere near the ceremony, doesn’t want her on their table, and would rather I didn’t come than bring her. If she had given me a generic answer about it being child free etc then I legitimately would not be upset (or given me the actual reason which was she doesn’t want kids but her psychotic MIL was OBSESSED with asking about my little one and clearly pressuring her). I did not say a word back about how hurtful it was to say all those things, and she used my daughter’s name specifically when saying “baby muffin will ruin my perfect day”. Thing is if one of her friends had asked her she wouldn’t have told them their child would ruin her wedding (her friends don’t have kids so she doesn’t understand what’s off limits anyway). She just made it very personal and has previously made what I would call dodgy comments which I’ve let go in the past but that was the final straw (e.g. I’ll never babysit her, referring to her as “cupboard” for most of my pregnancy despite asking her to not).

My OH’s family don’t live here and don’t celebrate Christmas, but I like the idea of splitting the day and then continuing on Boxing Day.
Is there any chance at all that she actually has fertility issues and chooses to deal with them like this? It’s a really strange reaction to be so drastically anti-children that you’d ditch your own sister and have such a strong reaction.
 
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Is there any chance at all that she actually has fertility issues and chooses to deal with them like this? It’s a really strange reaction to be so drastically anti-children that you’d ditch your own sister and have such a strong reaction.
Nah she just really really hates children. Like I say I think that reaction was to do with the MIL obsessing about my little one, and if she was there it would have 100% resulted in comments like “don’t you want one” etc etc, which I completely appreciate is annoying but she didn’t tell me that. Also that’s just me interpreting the situation, I went for the ceremony and her MIL pounced on me and offered to babysit, which is massively weird. Or maybe she just despises my daughter, which was the impression I got from what she said 🤷‍♀️
 
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Nah she just really really hates children. Like I say I think that reaction was to do with the MIL obsessing about my little one, and if she was there it would have 100% resulted in comments like “don’t you want one” etc etc, which I completely appreciate is annoying but she didn’t tell me that. Also that’s just me interpreting the situation, I went for the ceremony and her MIL pounced on me and offered to babysit, which is massively weird. Or maybe she just despises my daughter, which was the impression I got from what she said 🤷‍♀️
I would split your day so your daughter (and you) aren’t affected by her actions or words at Christmas. Tell your parents you have plans in the afternoon so you’ll pop over in the morning with presents. With that strong of a reaction, she may have a problem she’s not ready to talk about yet.
 
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Nah she just really really hates children. Like I say I think that reaction was to do with the MIL obsessing about my little one, and if she was there it would have 100% resulted in comments like “don’t you want one” etc etc, which I completely appreciate is annoying but she didn’t tell me that. Also that’s just me interpreting the situation, I went for the ceremony and her MIL pounced on me and offered to babysit, which is massively weird. Or maybe she just despises my daughter, which was the impression I got from what she said 🤷‍♀️
I'd be tempted to do what we always do (it saves many arguments) and tell everyone you are having Christmas at yours as it's your first Christmas. Tell them they can come to you for presents etc... It saves them being their too long etc... I think it depends on the family dynamic though. My family is not very close so no one ever offered to come to us and it meant we could have a stressless Christmas day. We always do boxing day with family.
 
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I wouldn’t be happy if someone asked to bring a child to my child free wedding (even more so if they knew it was child free) but agree it seems a bit harsh the way she spoke about your child
 
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Thanks everyone, I think splitting the day sounds like the best option. I usually spend a few days there so it will be a change to the usual but that seems the most sensible (and can’t believe I didn’t think of it before).
 
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