The advice thread for random problems #3

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

Today at work a woman (same level of seniority) of me sent a teams message meant for someone on her team, to a group wide teams chat I’m in, making derogatory comments about me. I’ve not worked with her for over 9 months and they were irrelevant to what I was doing at the time.

I have to keep working with her, any suggestions how I move forward?

I would respond, including everybody, saying I’m so sorry to hear that’s the way you feel. I’ve always thought you were very professional until I received this public message. In the future could you please show me a little respect by talking to me directly with any issues. Thank you in advance @Waffleandlies

Also would just make you manager and HR aware

Btw this also depends on what she said. I let a lot of things slide and would approach like this. But there are a few things in life I would absolutely have a HR meeting for

 

[Snippysnips]

Today at work a woman (same level of seniority) of me sent a teams message meant for someone on her team, to a group wide teams chat I’m in, making derogatory comments about me. I’ve not worked with her for over 9 months and they were irrelevant to what I was doing at the time.

I have to keep working with her, any suggestions how I move forward?

I'd screenshot an save it an depending on how bad it is I'd either go to management or I'd take it further to HR if it's been especially bad an has encouraged others to join in with the comments or will cause others to be awkward with you or make the work atmosphere awkward

 

[Hastaggifted]

Could really do with a thread for homeware, like decent finds and bargains, where to go for good quality etc, for example my DFS sofa is 14 years old and we love it but it’s time to change and now I hear only horror stories about the brand, but have got no idea where to go for a decent quality and comfortable sofa these days!

Next! We have 2 fabric ones. Really comfortable, keep their shape well. Ours are 4 years old and look brand new. We've got 3 boisterous kids who flying jump rather than sit and they've survived.

 

[Tanne1999]

Four years ago, I slept with one of my bosses after a drunken night out. He told me he was divorced and had full custody of his son, doesn’t have anything to do with his ex wife, and is single. He’d only been there a few weeks so didn’t really know much about him or spoke to him much.

The morning after, we slept together again and then I went for a shower. As I came out he was on the phone and said ‘gotta go, love ya’ - so I said ‘aw was that your boy?’ and he went ‘no my girlfrie… duck.’

Turns out they’d been together for five years at that point, engaged for four, her and her three kids live there, and her grandkids call him granddad.


I had to keep talking to him for work purposes, but he got made redundant as the pandemic eased up. In the meantime I’d met my boyfriend. He sent me a dirty message so I told him to duck off and if he ever contacted me again then I’d tell his partner, then blocked him.


For some reason she’s come up on my suggested friends on Facebook recently and I had a snoop. They’re planning their wedding and she’s posting about how he’s the best partner ever and how he’s so different from her cheating abusive ex husband.

I now feel like such a witch for not telling her as soon as I found out. I was 19 and stupid, and couldn’t be bothered with the backlash. He was 51 and my dad also worked with us, so it would have caused an almighty rift between us all.
Now I’m sat here thinking is it too late to say something? Should I message her? Do I just ignore it and let them crack on? I feel so conflicted.

 

[stardust1]

Four years ago, I slept with one of my bosses after a drunken night out. He told me he was divorced and had full custody of his son, doesn’t have anything to do with his ex wife, and is single. He’d only been there a few weeks so didn’t really know much about him or spoke to him much.

The morning after, we slept together again and then I went for a shower. As I came out he was on the phone and said ‘gotta go, love ya’ - so I said ‘aw was that your boy?’ and he went ‘no my girlfrie… duck.’

Turns out they’d been together for five years at that point, engaged for four, her and her three kids live there, and her grandkids call him granddad.


I had to keep talking to him for work purposes, but he got made redundant as the pandemic eased up. In the meantime I’d met my boyfriend. He sent me a dirty message so I told him to duck off and if he ever contacted me again then I’d tell his partner, then blocked him.


For some reason she’s come up on my suggested friends on Facebook recently and I had a snoop. They’re planning their wedding and she’s posting about how he’s the best partner ever and how he’s so different from her cheating abusive ex husband.

I now feel like such a witch for not telling her as soon as I found out. I was 19 and stupid, and couldn’t be bothered with the backlash. He was 51 and my dad also worked with us, so it would have caused an almighty rift between us all.
Now I’m sat here thinking is it too late to say something? Should I message her? Do I just ignore it and let them crack on? I feel so conflicted.

I wouldn’t say anything and leave them too it, I’d probably feel guilty but I think not saying anything causes more peace for your self.

 

[stargirl23]

Four years ago, I slept with one of my bosses after a drunken night out. He told me he was divorced and had full custody of his son, doesn’t have anything to do with his ex wife, and is single. He’d only been there a few weeks so didn’t really know much about him or spoke to him much.

The morning after, we slept together again and then I went for a shower. As I came out he was on the phone and said ‘gotta go, love ya’ - so I said ‘aw was that your boy?’ and he went ‘no my girlfrie… duck.’

Turns out they’d been together for five years at that point, engaged for four, her and her three kids live there, and her grandkids call him granddad.


I had to keep talking to him for work purposes, but he got made redundant as the pandemic eased up. In the meantime I’d met my boyfriend. He sent me a dirty message so I told him to duck off and if he ever contacted me again then I’d tell his partner, then blocked him.


For some reason she’s come up on my suggested friends on Facebook recently and I had a snoop. They’re planning their wedding and she’s posting about how he’s the best partner ever and how he’s so different from her cheating abusive ex husband.

I now feel like such a witch for not telling her as soon as I found out. I was 19 and stupid, and couldn’t be bothered with the backlash. He was 51 and my dad also worked with us, so it would have caused an almighty rift between us all.
Now I’m sat here thinking is it too late to say something? Should I message her? Do I just ignore it and let them crack on? I feel so conflicted.

Personally I’d leave them too it. Especially as it’s been 4 years. It’s their choice to get married and if she thinks he’s not a cheat etc that’s on her. I wouldn’t bother bringing up something from years ago to cause hurt before their wedding. They’re clearly happy if they’re planning a wedding so I’d leave them too it. We all make stupid mistakes when we’re young x

 

[Phil Anne Throw Pee]

Four years ago, I slept with one of my bosses after a drunken night out. He told me he was divorced and had full custody of his son, doesn’t have anything to do with his ex wife, and is single. He’d only been there a few weeks so didn’t really know much about him or spoke to him much.

The morning after, we slept together again and then I went for a shower. As I came out he was on the phone and said ‘gotta go, love ya’ - so I said ‘aw was that your boy?’ and he went ‘no my girlfrie… duck.’

Turns out they’d been together for five years at that point, engaged for four, her and her three kids live there, and her grandkids call him granddad.


I had to keep talking to him for work purposes, but he got made redundant as the pandemic eased up. In the meantime I’d met my boyfriend. He sent me a dirty message so I told him to duck off and if he ever contacted me again then I’d tell his partner, then blocked him.


For some reason she’s come up on my suggested friends on Facebook recently and I had a snoop. They’re planning their wedding and she’s posting about how he’s the best partner ever and how he’s so different from her cheating abusive ex husband.

I now feel like such a witch for not telling her as soon as I found out. I was 19 and stupid, and couldn’t be bothered with the backlash. He was 51 and my dad also worked with us, so it would have caused an almighty rift between us all.
Now I’m sat here thinking is it too late to say something? Should I message her? Do I just ignore it and let them crack on? I feel so conflicted.

You were 19 and he was 51? Jesus, too many red flags to mention in this one.

 

[Tanne1999]

You were 19 and he was 51? Jesus, too many red flags to mention in this one.

Yeah I very much regret that one. I was 19 and going through my bow phase after a nasty breakup. He didn’t look 51 mind
Definitely looking back I see a lot of red flags about the situation that I didn’t at the time. I suppose you live and you learn
---

Personally I’d leave them too it. Especially as it’s been 4 years. It’s their choice to get married and if she thinks he’s not a cheat etc that’s on her. I wouldn’t bother bringing up something from years ago to cause hurt before their wedding. They’re clearly happy if they’re planning a wedding so I’d leave them too it. We all make stupid mistakes when we’re young x

I wouldn’t say I’d be doing it to cause hurt, it’s just from the perspective of ‘if it was me, I’d want to know’ if that makes sense? I just feel awful knowing she’s going to marry him not knowing what he’s done behind her back.
I do feel very conflicted though, because at same time I think ‘well I did nothing wrong so why am I feeling guilty?’

I think I will stick to my original stance of if he messages, then I’ll tell her x

 

[Meg78]

Four years ago, I slept with one of my bosses after a drunken night out. He told me he was divorced and had full custody of his son, doesn’t have anything to do with his ex wife, and is single. He’d only been there a few weeks so didn’t really know much about him or spoke to him much.

The morning after, we slept together again and then I went for a shower. As I came out he was on the phone and said ‘gotta go, love ya’ - so I said ‘aw was that your boy?’ and he went ‘no my girlfrie… duck.’

Turns out they’d been together for five years at that point, engaged for four, her and her three kids live there, and her grandkids call him granddad.


I had to keep talking to him for work purposes, but he got made redundant as the pandemic eased up. In the meantime I’d met my boyfriend. He sent me a dirty message so I told him to duck off and if he ever contacted me again then I’d tell his partner, then blocked him.


For some reason she’s come up on my suggested friends on Facebook recently and I had a snoop. They’re planning their wedding and she’s posting about how he’s the best partner ever and how he’s so different from her cheating abusive ex husband.

I now feel like such a witch for not telling her as soon as I found out. I was 19 and stupid, and couldn’t be bothered with the backlash. He was 51 and my dad also worked with us, so it would have caused an almighty rift between us all.
Now I’m sat here thinking is it too late to say something? Should I message her? Do I just ignore it and let them crack on? I feel so conflicted.

I’m going against the grain and would say to tell her, so long as you have evidence to back it up. However, this would absolutely cause turmoil for you, he sounds like he has no problem with lying and would likely do and say whatever he could to save his own skin. If I was her, I would appreciate being told before it’s too late as you’re likely not the first or the last, and she deserves better, but I know how much of a toll it would take on you to do that, so it’s not a decision to be made lightly.

Could you anonymously send it to her? Remove him from your contacts so that his number shows on the screenshot of his dirty message. Don’t tell her you knew four years ago, just say she recently came up as a suggested friend, you realised who she is, and feel she deserves to know her fiancé is using work trips to play away, here’s the proof.

 

[CallMeHollywood]

Four years ago, I slept with one of my bosses after a drunken night out. He told me he was divorced and had full custody of his son, doesn’t have anything to do with his ex wife, and is single. He’d only been there a few weeks so didn’t really know much about him or spoke to him much.

The morning after, we slept together again and then I went for a shower. As I came out he was on the phone and said ‘gotta go, love ya’ - so I said ‘aw was that your boy?’ and he went ‘no my girlfrie… duck.’

Turns out they’d been together for five years at that point, engaged for four, her and her three kids live there, and her grandkids call him granddad.


I had to keep talking to him for work purposes, but he got made redundant as the pandemic eased up. In the meantime I’d met my boyfriend. He sent me a dirty message so I told him to duck off and if he ever contacted me again then I’d tell his partner, then blocked him.


For some reason she’s come up on my suggested friends on Facebook recently and I had a snoop. They’re planning their wedding and she’s posting about how he’s the best partner ever and how he’s so different from her cheating abusive ex husband.

I now feel like such a witch for not telling her as soon as I found out. I was 19 and stupid, and couldn’t be bothered with the backlash. He was 51 and my dad also worked with us, so it would have caused an almighty rift between us all.
Now I’m sat here thinking is it too late to say something? Should I message her? Do I just ignore it and let them crack on? I feel so conflicted.

I’d leave it well alone. The potential time and energy involved is not worth it.

 

[TheGlossy]

Has anyone ever dealt with LookFantastic customer service?

I bought an Estée Lauder moisturizer from their website (worth €55) and the box arrived open. I reached out to them to ask for a refund or a replacement because it is a well-known fact that skincare products should not be used if the packaging is not sealed or is open.

They responded saying they will give me a £10 voucher instead. I can’t use the product because it is unsanitary for it to arrive with an open box. What is £10 going to do? Now they’re asking me a bunch of stupid questions such as ‘batch expiry date’ and ‘what is the exact issue’.

Honestly, if they can’t comprehend an open box is automatic return, then I don’t know what to say. You can’t even speak to them over the phone.

 

[JoeBloggs]

Has anyone ever dealt with LookFantastic customer service?

I bought an Estée Lauder moisturizer from their website (worth €55) and the box arrived open. I reached out to them to ask for a refund or a replacement because it is a well-known fact that skincare products should not be used if the packaging is not sealed or is open.

They responded saying they will give me a £10 voucher instead. I can’t use the product because it is unsanitary for it to arrive with an open box. What is £10 going to do? Now they’re asking me a bunch of stupid questions such as ‘batch expiry date’ and ‘what is the exact issue’.

Honestly, if they can’t comprehend an open box is automatic return, then I don’t know what to say. You can’t even speak to them over the phone.

Have you tried this number - +44 161 813 1481

Online says it is their customer service team.

 

[Spidey2020]

Has anyone ever dealt with LookFantastic customer service?

I bought an Estée Lauder moisturizer from their website (worth €55) and the box arrived open. I reached out to them to ask for a refund or a replacement because it is a well-known fact that skincare products should not be used if the packaging is not sealed or is open.

They responded saying they will give me a £10 voucher instead. I can’t use the product because it is unsanitary for it to arrive with an open box. What is £10 going to do? Now they’re asking me a bunch of stupid questions such as ‘batch expiry date’ and ‘what is the exact issue’.

Honestly, if they can’t comprehend an open box is automatic return, then I don’t know what to say. You can’t even speak to them over the phone.

Surely this would come under distance selling regulations? You can return for a full refund as bought online. I would just gather all the correspondence you have and attach to the return and send back.

 

[square_spoon]

Yeah I very much regret that one. I was 19 and going through my bow phase after a nasty breakup. He didn’t look 51 mind
Definitely looking back I see a lot of red flags about the situation that I didn’t at the time. I suppose you live and you learn
---

I wouldn’t say I’d be doing it to cause hurt, it’s just from the perspective of ‘if it was me, I’d want to know’ if that makes sense? I just feel awful knowing she’s going to marry him not knowing what he’s done behind her back.
I do feel very conflicted though, because at same time I think ‘well I did nothing wrong so why am I feeling guilty?’

I think I will stick to my original stance of if he messages, then I’ll tell her x

I think we all *think* we would want to know if the tables were turned but the reality is a lot of women don’t. He’ll tell her it was all you making the moves and he was drunk etc, and she’ll let him have a pass on it. I was in a similar situation (though it was an ex trying to get back with me while engaged to someone else he has since married) and it briefly crossed my mind to tell her but really there’s no point. Be glad he’s not your problem.

 

[TheGlossy]

Have you tried this number - +44 161 813 1481

Online says it is their customer service team.

Thanks, I tried. Not working.

 

[LaBlonde]

Has anyone ever dealt with LookFantastic customer service?

I bought an Estée Lauder moisturizer from their website (worth €55) and the box arrived open. I reached out to them to ask for a refund or a replacement because it is a well-known fact that skincare products should not be used if the packaging is not sealed or is open.

They responded saying they will give me a £10 voucher instead. I can’t use the product because it is unsanitary for it to arrive with an open box. What is £10 going to do? Now they’re asking me a bunch of stupid questions such as ‘batch expiry date’ and ‘what is the exact issue’.

Honestly, if they can’t comprehend an open box is automatic return, then I don’t know what to say. You can’t even speak to them over the phone.

yikes i just went to look for you and that’s evri levels
of uncontactable!

how are you corresponding with them now? whatever method you’re using i would ask for
a copy of their complaints process and who you would need to correspond with. they should really have this on their website but i can’t find it.

 

[TheGlossy]

yikes i just went to look for you and that’s evri levels
of uncontactable!

how are you corresponding with them now? whatever method you’re using i would ask for
a copy of their complaints process and who you would need to correspond with. they should really have this on their website but i can’t find it.

Thank you!

Yeah, completely unreachable. I have been exchanging with them through their messaging option on their app, but they’re terrible. I can’t find the complaint section either. I was thinking of writing on TrustPilot as they seem to be responsive on there.

 

[stargirl23]

Not the same company but others I’ve found great quick response messaging them
On Facebook

 

[LaBlonde]

Thank you!

Yeah, completely unreachable. I have been exchanging with them through their messaging option on their app, but they’re terrible. I can’t find the complaint section either. I was thinking of writing on TrustPilot as they seem to be responsive on there.

trust pilot is a good shout - they look like they reply to all their reviews.

if you have a twitter there’s no harm in publicly shouting them out and making sure to tag them in it. companies tend to freak out when you do that

 

[TheGlossy]

Thank you!

Yeah, completely unreachable. I have been exchanging with them through their messaging option on their app, but they’re terrible. I can’t find the complaint section either. I was thinking of writing on TrustPilot as they seem to be responsive on there.

To top it all off, I now have to pay €5 for my return. What a joke.