The advice thread for random problems #3

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Has anyone over here dealt with PALS to get a second opinion via the NHS? If so how did it go?
I never heard back from them … so not great. I found the only thing that made any difference was writing a very detailed and formal complaint against a specific consultant … things moved fast after that.
 
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I never heard back from them … so not great. I found the only thing that made any difference was writing a very detailed and formal complaint against a specific consultant … things moved fast after that.
thank you, really torn what to do.. don’t necessarily want to complain as such as my son received many surgeries from a surgeon which i would describe as outstanding care however long term his condition still needs managed and this is where the surgeon is really lacking. Theres a few surgeons far better suited that i would like a second opinion from but I feel really anxious about rocking the boat😕x
 
thank you, really torn what to do.. don’t necessarily want to complain as such as my son received many surgeries from a surgeon which i would describe as outstanding care however long term his condition still needs managed and this is where the surgeon is really lacking. Theres a few surgeons far better suited that i would like a second opinion from but I feel really anxious about rocking the boat😕x
where consultants are concerned there are huge egos at play so you are absolutely right to tread carefully. In our case there was clear negligence. You have the right to advocate for the best treatment for your son. Good luck x
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going to court sounds so daunting, but ive been given a date to leave so im really worried this is it.
if they have gone so far as to give you a court date for rent arrears you must have had many stages leading up to this. It would start with letters, phone calls before moving on to bailiffs. It’s never good to bury your head and hope things will go away. Make sure you take decisive action now so you fully understand the process and can present yourself in the best light. good luck.
 
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Not to brag but just saying the way the police woman spoke on that call the reaction to it all lives rent free in my head 😂

but to be fair I thought it was a bit unprofessional with her saying I’ve got a lucky escape I didn’t think they were allowed to say things like on like give an opinion on stuff
Am just going to say, but you are actually sounding more an more deranged with this, honestly I think the best thing you could do is get some sort of therapy because this is clearly all you can think off, you aren't being the "hero" you think you are with contacting the girls family, she knew he cheated an she stayed with him so that's her choice if hes out there doing it again, but under no circumstances does that give you the right to send anything to her family, it is not surprising they tried to get harassment orders on you because personally I'd be doing the same if one of my brothers EX'S was sending me stuff, they are all adults an what they do is nothing to do with you, you've been told before to block an forget him so do so an forget about whatever they are getting up too

@Snippysnips I’d put a message on Tripadvisor if you’re a member, to find a good place to stop off. It’s good for stuff like that.
Thanks I never thought of trying there
 
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thank you, really torn what to do.. don’t necessarily want to complain as such as my son received many surgeries from a surgeon which i would describe as outstanding care however long term his condition still needs managed and this is where the surgeon is really lacking. Theres a few surgeons far better suited that i would like a second opinion from but I feel really anxious about rocking the boat😕x
You could try asking PALs for advice on your situation, they may be able to advise, as they do that too, here at least.
Rocking the boat can be risky though (been there). I got diagnosis with second opinion but they were far away and after my conditioned worsened couldn’t get there so forced back to the one I that gave misdiagnosis. To say the weren’t impressed would not be an understatement, even though there’s no shame missing a rare condition they acted like it was a personal attack. I should also say, as the condition is across disciplines not all consultants acted that way - one literally drew a line in my notes and started with me again. Which was all that was needed. There’s no treatment so it was more management for me .

Good luck
 
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You could try asking PALs for advice on your situation, they may be able to advise, as they do that too, here at least.
Rocking the boat can be risky though (been there). I got diagnosis with second opinion but they were far away and after my conditioned worsened couldn’t get there so forced back to the one I that gave misdiagnosis. To say the weren’t impressed would not be an understatement, even though there’s no shame missing a rare condition they acted like it was a personal attack. I should also say, as the condition is across disciplines not all consultants acted that way - one literally drew a line in my notes and started with me again. Which was all that was needed. There’s no treatment so it was more management for me .

Good luck
theres 3 others at the same hospital that i think are actually better suited for us so wouldn’t be far to travel etc. it is the same for my son it’s more medication to manage long term that i need help with but the surgeon is against it and calls it ‘gods plan’ 😑
 
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Well i’m sorry but I agree it boarders on harassment. The sheer embarrassment she could have felt over something that she is not to blame for is awful
It is harassment. Unfortunately the police don't take it seriously enough.
I've been in the position this guy's girlfriend was in. I told the woman messaging me that if she didn't stop I would report her to the police. Thankfully although she is a complete idiot she had the sense to stop at that point (she still kept contacting him for the next 3 years from different phone numbers but that's another story). If she had contacted any of my family I would have gone absolutely nuclear.

If someone blocks you, don't persistently contact them. Jesus Christ the absolute arrogance of someone to think they can do this and get away with it. Obviously the bloke involved is a shitbag as well, but he's just a wannabe cheater, at least he's not maliciously harassing anyone.

This whole messaging thing is not done out of female solidarity or being helpful. It is malicious and vindictive. The woman who messaged me admitted she was jealous because I'm more attractive than her, have a career and decent lifestyle, and the man she wanted. She basically wanted to humiliate me and drag me down to her level, oh and end my relationship in the hope she'd end up with him instead. Probably similar motivations at play here. It's sick.
 
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It is harassment. Unfortunately the police don't take it seriously enough.
I've been in the position this guy's girlfriend was in. I told the woman messaging me that if she didn't stop I would report her to the police. Thankfully although she is a complete idiot she had the sense to stop at that point (she still kept contacting him for the next 3 years from different phone numbers but that's another story). If she had contacted any of my family I would have gone absolutely nuclear.

If someone blocks you, don't persistently contact them. Jesus Christ the absolute arrogance of someone to think they can do this and get away with it. Obviously the bloke involved is a shitbag as well, but he's just a wannabe cheater, at least he's not maliciously harassing anyone.

This whole messaging thing is not done out of female solidarity or being helpful. It is malicious and vindictive. The woman who messaged me admitted she was jealous because I'm more attractive than her, have a career and decent lifestyle, and the man she wanted. She basically wanted to humiliate me and drag me down to her level, oh and end my relationship in the hope she'd end up with him instead. Probably similar motivations at play here. It's sick.
really sorry to read this 😞I hope things are better now, unfortunately it seems so normalised.
 
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It is harassment. Unfortunately the police don't take it seriously enough.
I've been in the position this guy's girlfriend was in. I told the woman messaging me that if she didn't stop I would report her to the police. Thankfully although she is a complete idiot she had the sense to stop at that point (she still kept contacting him for the next 3 years from different phone numbers but that's another story). If she had contacted any of my family I would have gone absolutely nuclear.

If someone blocks you, don't persistently contact them. Jesus Christ the absolute arrogance of someone to think they can do this and get away with it. Obviously the bloke involved is a shitbag as well, but he's just a wannabe cheater, at least he's not maliciously harassing anyone.

This whole messaging thing is not done out of female solidarity or being helpful. It is malicious and vindictive. The woman who messaged me admitted she was jealous because I'm more attractive than her, have a career and decent lifestyle, and the man she wanted. She basically wanted to humiliate me and drag me down to her level, oh and end my relationship in the hope she'd end up with him instead. Probably similar motivations at play here. It's sick.

I'm pretty sure the user here who is harassing their ex and his current gf must be lying about what the police said, or, more likely, heard what they wanted to hear, not what was actually said. I guess the police have dropped the case because of insufficient evidence and because their ex is allegedly also playing a part by messaging them, not because the cops "understand" the situation. A lucky escape means: "lucky you he messaged back with sexual stuff so it's not clear cut harassment" not "what you're doing is correct, keep on going".

God this situation reminds me so much of the 4chan story where they were egging on someones stalker. The way this user talks and just doesn't understand AT ALL how their actions are wrong is just so so similar to this dude. Everyone else is wrong, everything is justifiable, they are only doing it for their victims own good, their moral codex is the only thing that counts, their own feelings come before everyone elses, etc.

If they were a decent person they'd stay away and NO MATTER WHAT they'd stop interacting with them. None of that fake "she needs to know" bull. They just enjoy the power they have over other people by constantly messing with them. Imagine being stalked and harassed by someone for five years while the stalker still thinks they're doing something right. It's horrifying!
 
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This is across so many different threads - the OP is clearly hoping that if she keeps posting she'll find validation for her actions.
How awful it must be for his current girlfriend :(
If you continue to do this Stardust the police will eventually throw the book at you, you'll end up with a criminal record which will ruin your life- but its no one's fault but your own.
 
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I'm pretty sure the user here who is harassing their ex and his current gf must be lying about what the police said, or, more likely, heard what they wanted to hear, not what was actually said. I guess the police have dropped the case because of insufficient evidence and because their ex is allegedly also playing a part by messaging them, not because the cops "understand" the situation. A lucky escape means: "lucky you he messaged back with sexual stuff so it's not clear cut harassment" not "what you're doing is correct, keep on going".

God this situation reminds me so much of the 4chan story where they were egging on someones stalker. The way this user talks and just doesn't understand AT ALL how their actions are wrong is just so so similar to this dude. Everyone else is wrong, everything is justifiable, they are only doing it for their victims own good, their moral codex is the only thing that counts, their own feelings come before everyone elses, etc.

If they were a decent person they'd stay away and NO MATTER WHAT they'd stop interacting with them. None of that fake "she needs to know" bull. They just enjoy the power they have over other people by constantly messing with them. Imagine being stalked and harassed by someone for five years while the stalker still thinks they're doing something right. It's horrifying!
Agree with everything you’ve said and others too! I’m sure the OP has been told numerous times on numerous threads that her behaviour is an appropriate with regards to the ex and his new girlfriend but she just keeps going 😬 scary stuff!
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If he does I would message her again because he has no way of contacting me now 🤷🏼‍♀️
You need help.
 
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This is across so many different threads - the OP is clearly hoping that if she keeps posting she'll find validation for her actions.
How awful it must be for his current girlfriend :(
If you continue to do this Stardust the police will eventually throw the book at you, you'll end up with a criminal record which will ruin your life- but its no one's fault but your own.
??? Eh🤣 it wasn’t me i’ve been telling her for ages to drop it🤣
 
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No, it IS you - oh my goodness you sent pictures to her family - its very much YOU.
You've got the wrong user :ROFLMAO: BlondeAngel2515 is the one who sent the pics lol. Stardust has been telling her the same as everyone else has that it's wrong!
 
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No, it IS you - oh my goodness you sent pictures to her family - its very much YOU.
i think you’re getting a little muddled here teddy: it’s blondeangel who is doing the stalking, not stardust!
 
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Oh 🤦‍♀️ my bad so sorry Stardust - didn't mean to accuse you !!
I've read this conversation on so many different threads i'm losing the plot myself.
I'll just get on my with work.
As you were!
Soz x
 
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Agree with everything you’ve said and others too! I’m sure the OP has been told numerous times on numerous threads that her behaviour is an appropriate with regards to the ex and his new girlfriend but she just keeps going 😬 scary stuff!
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You need help.
yep: as said above, i recognise this user from the dating thread in particular where she posted the same story over multiple months but never really returned after being advised to STOP.

she seems to be doing a scattergun approach of covering lots of threads at once in the hope of finding someone who is going to validate her actions. it’s bordering on quite scary :(
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Oh 🤦‍♀️ my bad so sorry Stardust - didn't mean to accuse you !!
I've read this conversation on so many different threads i'm losing the plot myself.
I'll just get on my with work.
As you were!
Soz x
it’s understandable: there’s a lot of replies going on here at once 💙
 
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theres 3 others at the same hospital that i think are actually better suited for us so wouldn’t be far to travel etc. it is the same for my son it’s more medication to manage long term that i need help with but the surgeon is against it and calls it ‘gods plan’ 😑
Ok, well definitely try PALs. Hopefully the surgeon isn’t senior to the others can’t have an impact on any care. Apologies for mentioning travel, I’m very rural and forget how different things are here!

You may want to complain about his comments re ‘gods plan’. I’m a Christian and when I worked in a hospital and was having treatment for one of my issues a consultant suggested prayer - I knew him, we attended the same church and went to the same bible study and prayer group at that time, a nurse told me to formally complain about his ‘behaviour’. I didn’t, he wasn’t being offensive as he knew my circumstances, every Christian at that time was aware of never mentioning their faith in work (can’t remember why) but the nurse did and he ended up leaving.

Good luck.
 
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