The advice thread for random problems #3

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I’m not. I can’t actually pay without entering a vehicle registration and I don’t have a vehicle.
Okay good 😄 I had a bad experience this year and fell for a phishing scam. I got a replacement credit card immediately but months later I saw someone successfully used it anyway!
 
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I got a text saying I need to pay a toll for driving in London. I can’t drive and haven’t been to London in ages so it’s obviously a san. However, I’m a bit concerned about where it’s come from as it does link me directly to the transport for London website implying it’s an actually from there so I’m a little worried I might get a penalty for something I didn’t do.
Did you follow a link to their website or put your own in? Links can directly link to scam sites and they can be very hard to spot. Contact them direct with your details to see what they say e.g. that you can’t drive and haven’t been there in ages. 99.9%it’s a scam so they need to know anyway, 0.1% there’s been some sort of error.

In my experience such things can be easily resolved. Mostly if scam they already know, and, if they don’t they will appreciate you letting them know. Likewise if there’s been an error they will appreciate it.

Edit to clarify I meant contact them via contact us address not the payment one, hoping that makes more sense.
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My front garden has been sorted, though the back has not. I understand (from the row) the council went to them today after turning up here and complaining at me again about the state of the garden effecting others in the street in terms of vermin, unlike last time this time I was too upset to answer the door and told them to speak to landlord, they said it was my fault and demanded I sorted it immediately, mentally stuff spiralled, not an excuse I just can’t cope with my own stuff without being blamed for everyone else’s, and they left and went to landlord. Finally after blaming me for weeks!

Anyway the person who did it found both a rat and snake nest, along with bags of pooh for the dog that stays in the flat opposite and proof of someone owning a hamster due to their waste also dumped in garden. None of that belongs to me.

My Facebook is still a nightmare and I’m ignoring it.
 
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I got a text saying I need to pay a toll for driving in London. I can’t drive and haven’t been to London in ages so it’s obviously a san. However, I’m a bit concerned about where it’s come from as it does link me directly to the transport for London website implying it’s an actually from there so I’m a little worried I might get a penalty for something I didn’t do.
They won’t text you, they will write to the address of the registered car.
 
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Did you follow a link to their website or put your own in? Links can directly link to scam sites and they can be very hard to spot. Contact them direct with your details to see what they say e.g. that you can’t drive and haven’t been there in ages. 99.9%it’s a scam so they need to know anyway, 0.1% there’s been some sort of error.

In my experience such things can be easily resolved. Mostly if scam they already know, and, if they don’t they will appreciate you letting them know. Likewise if there’s been an error they will appreciate it.

Edit to clarify I meant contact them via contact us address not the payment one, hoping that makes more sense.
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My front garden has been sorted, though the back has not. I understand (from the row) the council went to them today after turning up here and complaining at me again about the state of the garden effecting others in the street in terms of vermin, unlike last time this time I was too upset to answer the door and told them to speak to landlord, they said it was my fault and demanded I sorted it immediately, mentally stuff spiralled, not an excuse I just can’t cope with my own stuff without being blamed for everyone else’s, and they left and went to landlord. Finally after blaming me for weeks!

Anyway the person who did it found both a rat and snake nest, along with bags of pooh for the dog that stays in the flat opposite and proof of someone owning a hamster due to their waste also dumped in garden. None of that belongs to me.

My Facebook is still a nightmare and I’m ignoring it.
Have you got any family who can help?
I feel so sad that the system is failing you, it’s so unfair. Want to send hugs to you x
 
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No friends since they tried to help by getting me support from mental health and got told to provide it themselves. Last time they made contact they were told I’m fine and just lazy, which is a load of rubbish and I ended up losing that friend altogether. Family contact isn’t appropriate (long story).
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My physical needs too are being ignored.
 
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I am grateful. I don’t feel worthy of help, because mental health have told me I’m not, though the word they used was ‘undeserving’.
Oh @becca7721 I have just popped over from the Ingham thread. I'm sorry you seem to be experiencing all these knock backs. You are certainly worthy, especially as you are asking for help to address your issues.

I don't know what area of UK you are, or your rough age. Sounds like having an advocate is the type of thing you may need. A person who can champion on your behalf and badger for help, like reapplying for benefits and tackling appropriate help for your household situation.

The other suggestions for the hoarder sites may also be invaluable for more tailored advice.

Am wishing you well on this journey. Love from a horrible troll tattler Ticketyboots ❤
 
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Really boring one - does anyone have any tricks or old wives tales that work for stopping bananas from going ripe so quickly in the heat? I have a banana stand, I don't know if that makes things better or worse?
I bought some on Sunday that were still 100% green, thinking I'd have a few days until they were ripe - they are still green, but also spotty and close to being too ripe. :rolleyes:
 
Really boring one - does anyone have any tricks or old wives tales that work for stopping bananas from going ripe so quickly in the heat? I have a banana stand, I don't know if that makes things better or worse?
I bought some on Sunday that were still 100% green, thinking I'd have a few days until they were ripe - they are still green, but also spotty and close to being too ripe. :rolleyes:
I tend to put them in the fridge to try to slow down the ripening!
 
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Really boring one - does anyone have any tricks or old wives tales that work for stopping bananas from going ripe so quickly in the heat? I have a banana stand, I don't know if that makes things better or worse?
I bought some on Sunday that were still 100% green, thinking I'd have a few days until they were ripe - they are still green, but also spotty and close to being too ripe. :rolleyes:
Amazingly I was Googling this last night! Some good tips here. Banana stands are a good shout apparently! Also storing in fridge and keeping them away from another fruit and veg.
So ideally, putting them on a rack, in an empty fridge. Sorted.
 
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Really boring one - does anyone have any tricks or old wives tales that work for stopping bananas from going ripe so quickly in the heat? I have a banana stand, I don't know if that makes things better or worse?
I bought some on Sunday that were still 100% green, thinking I'd have a few days until they were ripe - they are still green, but also spotty and close to being too ripe. :rolleyes:
put them in the fridge. The peel will start to darken in the fridge but when I googled it, it said they were still safe to eat
 
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My dad has been with his partner four years. Since getting together I have had *zero* one-to-one time with him. I can't get him on his own. I really wanted to go for a meal with just him and my siblings for Fathers Day this week, but he invited her too. Same for everything. Even when just going for a walk, she's there. She's lovely and I do get on with her. But I should be allowed to have private time with my Dad too? Do I need a reason.
We had an awful time at Christmas, he couldn't be apart from her so he missed a lot of our family celebrations (long story, but it wasn't appropriate for her to be there.) He has sold his house and moved in with her. My grandad recently passed and they're in the process of selling that too.
I do worry he is being taken advantage of financially and otherwise, but I dare not mention anything, because I know he will repeat to her what I've said. And I can't physically be on my own with him anyway. Even on the phone, she's in the background listening in.
My siblings think she's controlling and they don't like her at all. Over Christmas, he said he'd rather stay with her 'because she doesn't want us to be apart'. But I don't know if she really said that, or if it's my dad.
Does anyone know how I can approach this difficult topic.
 
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My dad has been with his partner four years. Since getting together I have had *zero* one-to-one time with him. I can't get him on his own. I really wanted to go for a meal with just him and my siblings for Fathers Day this week, but he invited her too. Same for everything. Even when just going for a walk, she's there. She's lovely and I do get on with her. But I should be allowed to have private time with my Dad too? Do I need a reason.
We had an awful time at Christmas, he couldn't be apart from her so he missed a lot of our family celebrations (long story, but it wasn't appropriate for her to be there.) He has sold his house and moved in with her. My grandad recently passed and they're in the process of selling that too.
I do worry he is being taken advantage of financially and otherwise, but I dare not mention anything, because I know he will repeat to her what I've said. And I can't physically be on my own with him anyway. Even on the phone, she's in the background listening in.
My siblings think she's controlling and they don't like her at all. Over Christmas, he said he'd rather stay with her 'because she doesn't want us to be apart'. But I don't know if she really said that, or if it's my dad.
Does anyone know how I can approach this difficult topic.
sorry to hear this. We are going through something similar with my in laws. We tried reasoning but in the end we just had to be brutally honest with the situation, he didn’t like it and still stuck by his wifes side and we give up.

is he vulnerable? What do your siblings want to do about it? X
 
I’m sorry to hear of your loss @Carapop take care and remember grief is as unique. Steps aren’t always linear.
This is such kind and clever way to explain grief- I am going to remember it. I wish someone had told me this when my Dad had died - i was very young and I thought I had to keep moving forward.
 
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My dad has been with his partner four years. Since getting together I have had *zero* one-to-one time with him. I can't get him on his own. I really wanted to go for a meal with just him and my siblings for Fathers Day this week, but he invited her too. Same for everything. Even when just going for a walk, she's there. She's lovely and I do get on with her. But I should be allowed to have private time with my Dad too? Do I need a reason.
We had an awful time at Christmas, he couldn't be apart from her so he missed a lot of our family celebrations (long story, but it wasn't appropriate for her to be there.) He has sold his house and moved in with her. My grandad recently passed and they're in the process of selling that too.
I do worry he is being taken advantage of financially and otherwise, but I dare not mention anything, because I know he will repeat to her what I've said. And I can't physically be on my own with him anyway. Even on the phone, she's in the background listening in.
My siblings think she's controlling and they don't like her at all. Over Christmas, he said he'd rather stay with her 'because she doesn't want us to be apart'. But I don't know if she really said that, or if it's my dad.
Does anyone know how I can approach this difficult topic.
Are there any times when he is naturally alone (does she always pop out on a Sat morning for example, or does she work?). It might be a good idea to pop in unannounced on one of those times and just say you really wanted to see him and go for a walk or something. At the end you could say how much you've valued time alone with your Dad and ask to do it again. I get that he thinks she's vulnerable and has to stay with her but you're vulnerable too as your his daughter and still need a bit of protecting by Dad.
 
sorry to hear this. We are going through something similar with my in laws. We tried reasoning but in the end we just had to be brutally honest with the situation, he didn’t like it and still stuck by his wifes side and we give up.

is he vulnerable? What do your siblings want to do about it? X
Thanks for your message. He's vulnerable in the sense that I think he is undiagnosed on the autism spectrum, just the way he is makes me think that. I have a feeling he may have 'love bombed' her, and doesn't want to lose her, so goes along with whatever she wants. One of my brothers lived with them both during lockdown and apparently she was super controlling, not letting him finish sentences etc, that was before he sold his house. His behaviour has changed since he has met her, he has given up a lot of his interests, and it's always her way or no way.
My siblings don't like her.. they get on with her, but only for my Dad's sake. They've tried talking to my Dad as well and he just brushes them off.
Are there any times when he is naturally alone (does she always pop out on a Sat morning for example, or does she work?). It might be a good idea to pop in unannounced on one of those times and just say you really wanted to see him and go for a walk or something. At the end you could say how much you've valued time alone with your Dad and ask to do it again. I get that he thinks she's vulnerable and has to stay with her but you're vulnerable too as your his daughter and still need a bit of protecting by Dad.
Thank you for responding. Unfortunately, she works from home and they both live in a flat. They both live out of the area now, about 1 hr drive away. I suppose I could 'pop in', or arrange a walk when she's working or something, I might suggest that to him actually. I think he would time it with his partner's work/lunch time and ask her along too though, which makes it super awkward because I don't then want to say 'Actually, I was wondering if my Dad could come on his own...' 😬
They've made quite a few big purchases since my Dad sold his house, which makes me wonder whether it is what he really wants. He's had her whole flat redecorated, new flooring etc and they're just about to fit a new kitchen.. I have no idea what their arrangement is either, whether he pays her rent, or helps with bills, or even whether his name is on the mortgage (highly doubt it, as he's retired).
I feel like if they were to split up, he'd have nothing - no house, and little money. :(
 
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Has anyone heard of Gear4Music . Com? Looking at getting a instrument an they are a lot cheaper than what other places are, not sure if they are cheaper because of a reason like bad quality or if it's just one of these sites that typically do cheaper than stores
 
Has anyone heard of Gear4Music . Com? Looking at getting a instrument an they are a lot cheaper than what other places are, not sure if they are cheaper because of a reason like bad quality or if it's just one of these sites that typically do cheaper than stores
I always have a read of Trustpilot. Then check if they have a physical (UK) address listed on their website. Always pay by credit card and/or Paypal then at least you have some comeback should anything go wrong. I've had a look at their website and they look legit to me.
 
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I always have a read of Trustpilot. Then check if they have a physical (UK) address listed on their website. Always pay by credit card and/or Paypal then at least you have some comeback should anything go wrong. I've had a look at their website and they look legit to me.
Thanks, I had tried to find reviews an such on other sites, but twitter didn't seem to have many, am just worried they are cheap because of bad quality since what I want is a extra £100 on other sites an stores
 
Has anyone heard of Gear4Music . Com? Looking at getting a instrument an they are a lot cheaper than what other places are, not sure if they are cheaper because of a reason like bad quality or if it's just one of these sites that typically do cheaper than stores
My husband has bought from them before, no issues.
 
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