It really depends. Like if your contract says "and other duties/tasks" in the position description, and you do have time to do these things, it's a tough place to be in.How do I politely refuse to do work above my pay grade? I put in for a promotion 2 months ago, heard nothing back despite chasing, but I keep being told to do x y z which is time consuming & not my job, on top of my actual job role. I don't mind doing the work if I'm gonna get the pay banding for it.
I would tell them you don’t have the time and you’re not getting paid to do it. Say you don’t mind helping out once in awhile but it’s not in your job description. Also make it clear you’d love a promotion so you could do more of itHow do I politely refuse to do work above my pay grade? I put in for a promotion 2 months ago, heard nothing back despite chasing, but I keep being told to do x y z which is time consuming & not my job, on top of my actual job role. I don't mind doing the work if I'm gonna get the pay banding for it.
I obsessively name my son’s stuff in odd places because the older kids would swap the coats just to create chaos, then other children would decide they liked the “new” coat betterThank you for the advice
I honestly don't think any of his class mates appeared to have the wrong coat on when they came out and most of us mum's have known each other since pre school days we would just sort out a mix up on the spot kinda thing .
My son said this morning that the big boys steal coats on the way back from the toilets and hide or kick them around the hall so that's why Im leaning towards it being 'stolen' kinda thing.
Thanks for the reply good to know it's not just a problem at our school tbh,I obsessively name my son’s stuff in odd places because the older kids would swap the coats just to create chaos, then other children would decide they liked the “new” coat betteris it clearly named etc so they can check lost property? Agree with above it should be dealt with.
Someone took two pairs of wellies from my son and I spoke to the teacher , explaining it just wasn’t good enough. Those had his name in, in marker so they’d been taken home. They had an assembly about taking things
That sounds really tough, both for you and for her. Loneliness in the elderly is super common, even amongst those who have kids.How do you carefully and discreetly separate yourself from a clingy but lonely neighbour?
Met my neighbour 3 doors down when her cat ended up coming into my house all the time. Elderly lady, in her 70s I think. Husband sadly passed years ago and no kids. Since I met her she's been inviting me round for tea, coffee, movies, all sorts. We added each other on Facebook so I could let her know if her cat was at mine and not leaving. She sends me multiple Facebook posts every day of the most random things - memes, pictures of elaborately decorated cakes, vintage cars, you name it. I barely use Facebook and told her this and she still bombards me with messages.
I've tried popping round for a quick cuppa to give her a bit of company but she talks and talks and I just can't find a way out (I even get my daughter to call me now after an hour to feign some emergency so I can escape). If I haven't seen her in a couple of weeks she'll ask me to take in a parcel or cat sit or some other mundane task that gets her round to mine or me round to hers.
I think she's simply lonely. I feel for her. But I also work full time and I'm lucky to have an active social life. Without sounding rude I just don't have the time for this and I feel so smothered by it. I don't want to hurt her but I really would just like a bit of space...
you sound like a lovely personHow do you carefully and discreetly separate yourself from a clingy but lonely neighbour?
Met my neighbour 3 doors down when her cat ended up coming into my house all the time. Elderly lady, in her 70s I think. Husband sadly passed years ago and no kids. Since I met her she's been inviting me round for tea, coffee, movies, all sorts. We added each other on Facebook so I could let her know if her cat was at mine and not leaving. She sends me multiple Facebook posts every day of the most random things - memes, pictures of elaborately decorated cakes, vintage cars, you name it. I barely use Facebook and told her this and she still bombards me with messages.
I've tried popping round for a quick cuppa to give her a bit of company but she talks and talks and I just can't find a way out (I even get my daughter to call me now after an hour to feign some emergency so I can escape). If I haven't seen her in a couple of weeks she'll ask me to take in a parcel or cat sit or some other mundane task that gets her round to mine or me round to hers.
I think she's simply lonely. I feel for her. But I also work full time and I'm lucky to have an active social life. Without sounding rude I just don't have the time for this and I feel so smothered by it. I don't want to hurt her but I really would just like a bit of space...
Hope it helps, @didisaythatoutloudoops !Thank you both so much @LaBlonde and @QueenBW - I really appreciate the kind words!
I did gently introduce the topic of a community activity or day centre - I totally agree that it might be a really good thing for her. Surprisingly she didn't appear particularly interested. She's also quite good on her computer (from the countless Facebook posts I see she's part of many local Facebook groups) so I think it's unwillingness on that side.
And indeed I'm awful at establishing boundaries sometimes - I've got that Britishness in me!! I'm nervous about giving her a dedicated day I'll visit just because I travel quite a bit for work, and honestly, I'm scared of her automatically presuming this visit will be weekly or more and complaining when it isn't. That definitely comes down to boundaries on my side and like you said, saying no. I will give it a try - thank you!!
Hadn't seen this thread in a few days @Good Egg , sending you virtual hugs. Our brains are so good at lying to us sometimes, telling us we're not worthy of love (the one requisite for being worthy of love as a human? Being human. That's it), telling us we're not attractive (if Pete whatever his last name is is proof of anything it's that different people find different things attractive, everyone is attractive in some way), telling us we're weird and alone and no one else feels like we do. It's part of what makes depression so dangerous. It isolates us as it lies to us.Still didn’t get a response from my email... I sent seven days ago and a follow up on Thursday.... this was a professional email requesting information I need... spoiler: sent to the guy I mention below so wondering if I’ve done something wrong for clarification!
My depression has reared its ugly head this week again. I can go weeks feeling fine, being OK and then dip. I’m in the down phase, if you saw me on Monday I was manic. I don’t feel like other people. I don’t feel normal. I can’t explain it but I feel like an outsider not fitting in and looking above myself spectating. It’s very odd. I’m my own worst critic and never feel good enough.
I’m not really living life. It’s all such a waste. I wake up and instantly want to go back to bed. I feel my best years are over and there is nothing left for me, nothing to look forward to.
I have a narc mother in my life who controls the narrative, my life, puts me down. Life isn’t fun with her on my shoulder.
I have a crush on a much older man which isn’t appropriate as he’s in a professional position. Hard to explain without giving too much away but I can’t stop thinking about our conversations and interactions and my goodness he’s easy on the eye. (He is single I checked his SM which I’m ashamed of in fact he has quite a open social media presence).
Anyways We had a connection when we first met I felt it, I never really feel anything when talking to a man but this guy was different. He’s a very interesting person. After our first meeting I felt a connection - I’m not sure what it is or was but I felt something. It was so odd. I brushed it aside until we met again last week...
Not that I’d act on it because why would someone be interested in me? I’m not attractive, I’ve not done much with life. It’s made me question a lot of deep thoughts, like what is wrong with me? Why a much older man? Because I want to feel safe? To be looked after? Why am I feeling this way. Because I’m lonely and sad about life? I loved that the conversation bounced really well. I can’t explain it.
In all honesty I just want someone on the same page as me who wants to go to a art gallery, go out for breakfast and coffee, expand our mind have interesting conversation and this guy seems like a perfect fit. I have never had a ‘crush’ before but yeah even at forty i was shocked and blew over by him. What is it? Why does it happen? Without sounding like a bell end to me he is perfect(I bet he pees on the loo seat and doesn’t flush has smelly feet and leaves wet towels on the floor but it all honesty I would care if he did!!!
So yeah I feel stupid for feeling this way. Now I’m back in the spiral of depression... feeling not worthy of love, life and all those things I yearn. Questioning this ‘crush’ I feel like a teenager. Thoughts?
100% report it. That’s awful harassing him to go work and turning up to his house or contacting family is harassing. They also breached gdpr policy giving out your dads address no one should have their privacy invaded like thatHas anyone ever reported a care home an had results?
My dad works in a care home, when he's on holiday I switch the phone off because if I don't they are on the phone consistently looking for him to go in, he doesn't have a mobile an am not giving them ours, so now they have started sending people to our house looking for him, I find this breaking privacy as no one should be getting told our home address, especially random employers at his work
Obviously I want to report it, management is doing nothing an clearly our address has been passed from management but am not sure who to go too an if they will get this looked into, my biggest concern is clearly they had no problems passing our address onto employees so who else has had their address giving out
I will definitely be looking into reporting this, my concern is, if I report it to the home they will probably do nothing about it as like I say it's clearly been management that's handed out the address as only management has the file, it was apparently the janitor that showed up to our house as I went completely mental about it, but according to my dad he isn't the only one they have done this too, a now ex-worker also had staff show up at his home100% report it. That’s awful harassing him to go work and turning up to his house or contacting family is harassing. They also breached gdpr policy giving out your dads address no one should have their privacy invaded like that
That is SOOOO out of order. Wow. Report and tell them absolutely not to do it againHas anyone ever reported a care home an had results?
My dad works in a care home, when he's on holiday I switch the phone off because if I don't they are on the phone consistently looking for him to go in, he doesn't have a mobile an am not giving them ours, so now they have started sending people to our house looking for him, I find this breaking privacy as no one should be getting told our home address, especially random employers at his work
Obviously I want to report it, management is doing nothing an clearly our address has been passed from management but am not sure who to go too an if they will get this looked into, my biggest concern is clearly they had no problems passing our address onto employees so who else has had their address giving out
I did have a few words with the guy at the door but really it wasn't his fault, he probably had no choice as they are quite the bullies, so unfortunately he got the brunt of my anger, I am hoping he went back to them about what I said but now am left with the knowledge that random staff know where the house isThat is SOOOO out of order. Wow. Report and tell them absolutely not to do it again
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