Tell me your secrets!

[shadowcat5]

This past year I have full on reduced my insulin so I'm taking barely enough to survive. It's bit scary cos I had to get diabetic laser eye treatment over the summer to fix the leaky blood vessels on backs of my eyes but I'm still don't want to up my insulin. I've lost 35 lbs so far and I'm so happy with that. As I loss weight I feel beautiful and more confident. I'm 5 lbs away from my goal but as I'm getting closer, I not sure if I want to stop.

I really don’t like to do this cause I’m not expert but there is an eating disorder called diabulimia which involves this exact thing.

Please please please look it up and get some support

Diabulimia and diabetes

Type 1 diabetes with disordered eating (T1DE), also known as diabulimia, is a serious eating disorder that people with type 1 diabetes can develop. What is diabulimia? Type 1 diabetes with disordered eating (T1DE) or diabulimia is an eating disorder that only affects people with type 1 diabetes...

www.diabetes.org.uk

 

[Woolmercardington]

From when I was little, I've always had a habit of talking to myself. Not coversing with myself but saying thoughts and opinions out loud. It's felt like I've not really had that thought or opinion unless I express it out loud.

I don't have an internal monologue going on in my head (like Peep Show). My thoughts are more abstract, so, I don't know if that's why I do it. Or the only way I tend to express my thoughts internally is in the form of an imaginary conversation.

Problem is, I've started mumbling to myself outside. Like at the bus stop or in a shop!! I know full well I'm doing it but the urge is just there to express a thought òut loud. I have to check myself as that would be an awful habit to start.

Although, I'm pretty sure a mouth along to all my internal imaginary conversations, too

This past year I have full on reduced my insulin so I'm taking barely enough to survive. It's bit scary cos I had to get diabetic laser eye treatment over the summer to fix the leaky blood vessels on backs of my eyes but I'm still don't want to up my insulin. I've lost 35 lbs so far and I'm so happy with that. As I loss weight I feel beautiful and more confident. I'm 5 lbs away from my goal but as I'm getting closer, I not sure if I want to stop.

Oh Christ, no. Please! I'm Type 1 and we know what dreadful long-term effects it can have on our bodies. I really hope you can speak to someone about this.

 

[BettyCrockerr]

I like the lifestyle far too much to let it go at this point

Classy.

From when I was little, I've always had a habit of talking to myself. Not coversing with myself but saying thoughts and opinions out loud. It's felt like I've not really had that thought or opinion unless I express it out loud.

I don't have an internal monologue going on in my head (like Peep Show). My thoughts are more abstract, so, I don't know if that's why I do it. Or the only way I tend to express my thoughts internally is in the form of an imaginary conversation.

Problem is, I've started mumbling to myself outside. Like at the bus stop or in a shop!! I know full well I'm doing it but the urge is just there to express a thought òut loud. I have to check myself as that would be an awful habit to start.

Although, I'm pretty sure a mouth along to all my internal imaginary conversations, too



Oh Christ, no. Please! I'm Type 1 and we know what dreadful long-term effects it can have on our bodies. I really hope you can speak to someone about this.

Talking to yourself is completely normal and pretty much e everyone does it - either as an internal monologue or as spoken words out loud.

 

[Purrrrrrr]

I like the lifestyle far too much to let it go at this point

My sister was of much the same mind. Things really came to a head when she became very ill and had to spend her dying months with someone she didn't care about and he just carried on as normal.
( as in he just carried on living as he had always done) He was a lot older than her and she always saw herself as the grieving widow with a ton of cash. She died 16 years ago at age 52 and he is still with us.


.




My secret

I was not unhappy when my sister died, it was a huge relief for many reasons. I loved her dearly and still miss her every day, but we would never have been friends if we were not sisters. I was her carer and looking after someone so bitter to be dying drained me and still haunts me now.

 

[prozacprincess]

Classy.

It may not be to everyone’s liking but I love my beautiful home and the life I have.
He’s away a lot, and when he isn’t the house is big enough to pretty much live separate lives. I don’t hate him and I’m not unhappy being married to him, I just feel nothing. We do fun stuff together sometimes and I support him emotionally (he’s needy and self-absorbed) I’m just not in love with him.

 

[iieee]

This past year I have full on reduced my insulin so I'm taking barely enough to survive. It's bit scary cos I had to get diabetic laser eye treatment over the summer to fix the leaky blood vessels on backs of my eyes but I'm still don't want to up my insulin. I've lost 35 lbs so far and I'm so happy with that. As I loss weight I feel beautiful and more confident. I'm 5 lbs away from my goal but as I'm getting closer, I not sure if I want to stop.

I used to work for a diabetes service and we saw this all the time. Please talk to someone. You're losing weight because your body is desperately trying to get rid of the sugar it can't process without insulin. You could end up with diabetic ketoacidosis which is life threatening. Please don't mess with your health.

 

[bookworm1210]

@prozacprincess I know exactly where you are coming from x

mine is not lifestyle at all - I just wouldnt Know where to begin with setting myself up on my own.

 

[If i told you …]

mine is not lifestyle at all - I just wouldnt Know where to begin with setting myself up on my own.

So difficult I know but speaking from experience once you have had enough you will find the strength, resources and the way to do it. I wish you all the luck in the world x

 

[Keikochan]

I really don’t like to do this cause I’m not expert but there is an eating disorder called diabulimia which involves this exact thing.

Please please please look it up and get some support

Diabulimia and diabetes

Type 1 diabetes with disordered eating (T1DE), also known as diabulimia, is a serious eating disorder that people with type 1 diabetes can develop. What is diabulimia? Type 1 diabetes with disordered eating (T1DE) or diabulimia is an eating disorder that only affects people with type 1 diabetes...

www.diabetes.org.uk

From when I was little, I've always had a habit of talking to myself. Not coversing with myself but saying thoughts and opinions out loud. It's felt like I've not really had that thought or opinion unless I express it out loud.

I don't have an internal monologue going on in my head (like Peep Show). My thoughts are more abstract, so, I don't know if that's why I do it. Or the only way I tend to express my thoughts internally is in the form of an imaginary conversation.

Problem is, I've started mumbling to myself outside. Like at the bus stop or in a shop!! I know full well I'm doing it but the urge is just there to express a thought òut loud. I have to check myself as that would be an awful habit to start.

Although, I'm pretty sure a mouth along to all my internal imaginary conversations, too



Oh Christ, no. Please! I'm Type 1 and we know what dreadful long-term effects it can have on our bodies. I really hope you can speak to someone about this.

I used to work for a diabetes service and we saw this all the time. Please talk to someone. You're losing weight because your body is desperately trying to get rid of the sugar it can't process without insulin. You could end up with diabetic ketoacidosis which is life threatening. Please don't mess with your health.

Yes I know how Type 1 diabetes and diabulimia works. I've been diabetic for 25 years, this has been an issue for majority of it tbh. I've been in dka before, not even bc of this tbh. I've asked for help before, it hasn't worked, and I'm sick of the bamboozlement from medical professionals in understanding. I'm not recommending, I'm just saying this is what I do to make myself feel better.
This past year I've said duck it, I'll do this till I'm at a happy weight. Life is not going the way I want so I'll make it as happy as I can make it while I'm still here. I've had to retire early from work bc of health (not bc of this). I loved my job. I miss it. I miss a lot of things.
I just want to be happy in my body as best as I can. I want to be skinny, I want to feel nice, feel beautiful, I want to eat whatever I want, whenever and if I don't want to eat then I will not eat. T1D and MS have stood in my way all my life. I refuse to be fat in a wheelchair, I refuse to be too heavy for my husband when he helps me with being mobile & function. I need to keep any independence I can even if that's with food & weight.
That's my secret, that's what I do to survive, it keeps me going.

 

[iieee]

Sorry if I sounded patronising, just genuinely concerned for you and don't want anything bad to happen to you. T1DM is a huge burden. Hope you are ok.

 

[Keikochan]

Sorry if I sounded patronising, just genuinely concerned for you and don't want anything bad to happen to you. T1DM is a huge burden. Hope you are ok.

No I'm so sorry! I really don't want to sound snappy or anything, I think there's just a lot of emotions involved too maybe.

 

[BettyCrockerr]

Yes I know how Type 1 diabetes and diabulimia works. I've been diabetic for 25 years, this has been an issue for majority of it tbh. I've been in dka before, not even bc of this tbh. I've asked for help before, it hasn't worked, and I'm sick of the bamboozlement from medical professionals in understanding. I'm not recommending, I'm just saying this is what I do to make myself feel better.
This past year I've said duck it, I'll do this till I'm at a happy weight. Life is not going the way I want so I'll make it as happy as I can make it while I'm still here. I've had to retire early from work bc of health (not bc of this). I loved my job. I miss it. I miss a lot of things.
I just want to be happy in my body as best as I can. I want to be skinny, I want to feel nice, feel beautiful, I want to eat whatever I want, whenever and if I don't want to eat then I will not eat. T1D and MS have stood in my way all my life. I refuse to be fat in a wheelchair, I refuse to be too heavy for my husband when he helps me with being mobile & function. I need to keep any independence I can even if that's with food & weight.
That's my secret, that's what I do to survive, it keeps me going.

You need serious help - you are in the grips of a full blown eating disorder and you need professional medical help.

 

[thegirlscout]

Spoiler: Spoiler because it might gross people out

I’ve got to the point where I can’t stop picking and cutting my toenails and the skin around them. I have hardly any nail left on some of them and if I added it all up I spend hours a day rubbing my hand across my feet trying to find an imperfection so I can cut it or pick at it. If I find something I can’t ‘fix’ straight away its almost like I fantasise about it until I can get to it. I e tried filling my nails and using cream so they are hydrated and being ‘good’ but it never lasts. The most obvious answer would be to throw away my tweezers and scissors but I actually get anxious thinking about what would happen if I needed to trim my nails or pluck my eyebrows. It’s so pathetic I know.
Sometimes I get really sore because I’ve cut new skin and it bleeds. I tried to reach out to my therapists earlier this year when I was getting treatment for my binge eating disorder but they didn’t really know what to do (I don’t blame them but it’s also hard to try and reach out again and not get any help). I find it even hard to say the word ‘toenails’, for some reason it makes me feel so uncomfortable, like I’m talking about something really intimate that I just say ‘the nails on my feet’. I feel like such a freak.

 

[Lord Voldemort]

Spoiler: Spoiler because it might gross people out

I’ve got to the point where I can’t stop picking and cutting my toenails and the skin around them. I have hardly any nail left on some of them and if I added it all up I spend hours a day rubbing my hand across my feet trying to find an imperfection so I can cut it or pick at it. If I find something I can’t ‘fix’ straight away its almost like I fantasise about it until I can get to it. I e tried filling my nails and using cream so they are hydrated and being ‘good’ but it never lasts. The most obvious answer would be to throw away my tweezers and scissors but I actually get anxious thinking about what would happen if I needed to trim my nails or pluck my eyebrows. It’s so pathetic I know.
Sometimes I get really sore because I’ve cut new skin and it bleeds. I tried to reach out to my therapists earlier this year when I was getting treatment for my binge eating disorder but they didn’t really know what to do (I don’t blame them but it’s also hard to try and reach out again and not get any help). I find it even hard to say the word ‘toenails’, for some reason it makes me feel so uncomfortable, like I’m talking about something really intimate that I just say ‘the nails on my feet’. I feel like such a freak.

Oh my goodness. You are not a freak & I'm sorry you feel like that. I just wanted to comment because you are not alone with this. I do it too. My feet are awful, my hands are heading that way. There is a name for compulsive skin picking - Dermatillomania. Mine gets especially bad when I'm stressed. Could you perhaps go to your doctor, as they might be able to help. I hope you get some relief from this problem.

 

[thegirlscout]

Oh my goodness. You are not a freak & I'm sorry you feel like that. I just wanted to comment because you are not alone with this. I do it too. My feet are awful, my hands are heading that way. There is a name for compulsive skin picking - Dermatillomania. Mine gets especially bad when I'm stressed. Could you perhaps go to your doctor, as they might be able to help. I hope you get some relief from this problem.

Thank you so much for your reply! It’s ‘nice’ to know I’m not the only one suffering with this. I thought it could be this too but the fact I use tweezers and scissors made me think that it wasn’t that?
But your reply gave me some hope because I feel so alone in this and it stresses me out. I do want to speak to my doctor but I think I need to build up the courage first.

 

[Some People!]

Thank you so much for your reply! It’s ‘nice’ to know I’m not the only one suffering with this. I thought it could be this too but the fact I use tweezers and scissors made me think that it wasn’t that?
But your reply gave me some hope because I feel so alone in this and it stresses me out. I do want to speak to my doctor but I think I need to build up the courage first.

Another one over here I too use tools to meddle with myself, look for things to bother at and can't relax if there's something I could be digging out and circumstances prevent it. I've been much, much worse, debilitatingly so, and I've been slightly better than I am now, and medication did help, although i was treated for depression and not this. I've never sought help for this.
It's like an addictive hobby. It's hard to stop in the moment because in the moment it's very calming and enjoyable and feels as though there's purpose in the act (?).

Spoiler: for gross

I'll bother at other people's skin too, given half a chance, and my cat periodically gets a bit of dry skin, and picking the flakes out of her fur is extremely relaxing.

You're definitely not alone.

 

[CallMeHollywood]

I’m desperate for my grandmother to die.
I love her so much but her quality of life is terrible and she’s become bitter and is ruining my mum and aunts lives. My mum and aunt look after her full time, taking turns to stay at her home because she refuses to move into a facility that would greatly help her. They often they don’t sleep for days because she spends her days asleep and nights awake, shuffling around her house. She spends hours berating them, talking to people who aren’t there and she’s slowly developing psychosis. It’s really straining them and their relationships with their husbands and last time I saw my mum she looked so awful.
My mum is in her mid 60s and has always said that when my grandma dies, she’ll move up the country to be nearer me in the countryside, but I honestly can see my grandma outliving her at this rate. Grandma is 96 and has had a good life, but it’s time to let my mum and aunt live theirs now.

 

[Thecaddy11]

Oh my goodness. You are not a freak & I'm sorry you feel like that. I just wanted to comment because you are not alone with this. I do it too. My feet are awful, my hands are heading that way. There is a name for compulsive skin picking - Dermatillomania. Mine gets especially bad when I'm stressed. Could you perhaps go to your doctor, as they might be able to help. I hope you get some relief from this problem.

Just wanted to say that I do this too. I pick my lips, feet and hands. I've always done it and I don't know why. It's like I can't control it at all. You are defo not a freak x

 

[Rockin' Robin]

Spoiler: Spoiler because it might gross people out

I’ve got to the point where I can’t stop picking and cutting my toenails and the skin around them. I have hardly any nail left on some of them and if I added it all up I spend hours a day rubbing my hand across my feet trying to find an imperfection so I can cut it or pick at it. If I find something I can’t ‘fix’ straight away its almost like I fantasise about it until I can get to it. I e tried filling my nails and using cream so they are hydrated and being ‘good’ but it never lasts. The most obvious answer would be to throw away my tweezers and scissors but I actually get anxious thinking about what would happen if I needed to trim my nails or pluck my eyebrows. It’s so pathetic I know.
Sometimes I get really sore because I’ve cut new skin and it bleeds. I tried to reach out to my therapists earlier this year when I was getting treatment for my binge eating disorder but they didn’t really know what to do (I don’t blame them but it’s also hard to try and reach out again and not get any help). I find it even hard to say the word ‘toenails’, for some reason it makes me feel so uncomfortable, like I’m talking about something really intimate that I just say ‘the nails on my feet’. I feel like such a freak.

When I was a child, I damaged the tip of one of my fingers in an accident. Ever since then, I have been able to bite the nail of that finger, almost completely away.
I also pick at the cuticles of my fingers until they are sore. I do it when I feel anxious. There is not a week that goes by, that I don't do this.

 

[peekachu]

Spoiler: Spoiler because it might gross people out

I’ve got to the point where I can’t stop picking and cutting my toenails and the skin around them. I have hardly any nail left on some of them and if I added it all up I spend hours a day rubbing my hand across my feet trying to find an imperfection so I can cut it or pick at it. If I find something I can’t ‘fix’ straight away its almost like I fantasise about it until I can get to it. I e tried filling my nails and using cream so they are hydrated and being ‘good’ but it never lasts. The most obvious answer would be to throw away my tweezers and scissors but I actually get anxious thinking about what would happen if I needed to trim my nails or pluck my eyebrows. It’s so pathetic I know.
Sometimes I get really sore because I’ve cut new skin and it bleeds. I tried to reach out to my therapists earlier this year when I was getting treatment for my binge eating disorder but they didn’t really know what to do (I don’t blame them but it’s also hard to try and reach out again and not get any help). I find it even hard to say the word ‘toenails’, for some reason it makes me feel so uncomfortable, like I’m talking about something really intimate that I just say ‘the nails on my feet’. I feel like such a freak.

Just wanted to comment and say you’re not alone! I pluck out the hairs on my legs with tweezers and fixate on removing any stubble, to the point where I dig under the skin and start to bleed.. I have lots of scars and scabs from repeatedly doing it. I also bite away the skin on my lips and inside of my cheeks for as long as I can remember.

I try to stop myself but eventually I give in, it just feels really satisfying and distracts me from thinking about other things.

Two of my cats would sometimes pull out their fur and the vets said it was caused by stress and anxiety. Perhaps it is similar?

I feel like an oddball too but I remind myself that we all cope with things differently in life and that’s okay