Tell me your secrets!

[bunnyboo]

Spoiler: Trigger Warning: Suicide

I fell down the stairs a few weeks ago, and even though I told everybody that I was mentally OK - the truth is that I wish I could have hit my head or something, to the point where I wouldn't be alive anymore.

I feel dead inside, just a ghost living in a body that I don’t even recognise anymore. I look in the mirror and I see a stranger. A pale, tired, miserable stranger that kind of looks like me. What once made me happy is now tedious, and nothing seems to make me happy anymore. My partner of 4 years dumped me a month or two ago, and I don't really have anyone to even confide in. Everything is awful and I'm over everything at this point.

 

[Rockin' Robin]

Spoiler: Trigger Warning: Suicide

I fell down the stairs a few weeks ago, and even though I told everybody that I was mentally OK - the truth is that I wish I could have hit my head or something, to the point where I wouldn't be alive anymore.

I feel dead inside, just a ghost living in a body that I don’t even recognise anymore. I look in the mirror and I see a stranger. A pale, tired, miserable stranger that kind of looks like me. What once made me happy is now tedious, and nothing seems to make me happy anymore. My partner of 4 years dumped me a month or two ago, and I don't really have anyone to even confide in. Everything is awful and I'm over everything at this point.

Tattle is a good place to talk through your feelings, my thoughts are with you.

 

[Ennui]

Spoiler: Trigger Warning: Suicide

I fell down the stairs a few weeks ago, and even though I told everybody that I was mentally OK - the truth is that I wish I could have hit my head or something, to the point where I wouldn't be alive anymore.

I feel dead inside, just a ghost living in a body that I don’t even recognise anymore. I look in the mirror and I see a stranger. A pale, tired, miserable stranger that kind of looks like me. What once made me happy is now tedious, and nothing seems to make me happy anymore. My partner of 4 years dumped me a month or two ago, and I don't really have anyone to even confide in. Everything is awful and I'm over everything at this point.

I'm so sorry to read this. I've been there.

Please don't keep this to yourself and get some help. It can get better. I promise.

 

[Caledonianprincess]

Have just found out I'm pregnant again after losing my son at 24wks last year. I get married in March and I'll now have to bring the wedding way forward. My mum is abroad and doesn't know yet. I'm terrified to tell her as she said you better not fall pregnant as your dress won't fit... oops haha

 

[ScrambledEggs]

I’m the only one who knows.. my mum was raped when she was 15 and became pregnant, bear in mind this was the 60s, she went to a convent and her family were extremely strict. When she gave birth the nuns took the baby away and my mum never saw the baby again.
She thought about the baby everyday, then about 8 years ago I was contacted on social media by someone. She told me who she was and quite honestly it was the worst exploitive message and so full of hate , if I hadn’t of known it would have been a total surprise. I stopped using that social media platform and I’m hard to find now.
I lost my mum last year & I think about what she went through all of the time but I also remember the vile message I received, I often watch Davina on reuniting parents & children and it wasn’t uncommon back then for babies to be taken away from the their families.

I just wish that message I received had been different.

 

[BettyCrockerr]

I’m the only one who knows.. my mum was raped when she was 15 and became pregnant, bear in mind this was the 60s, she went to a convent and her family were extremely strict. When she gave birth the nuns took the baby away and my mum never saw the baby again.
She thought about the baby everyday, then about 8 years ago I was contacted on social media by someone. She told me who she was and quite honestly it was the worst exploitive message and so full of hate , if I hadn’t of known it would have been a total surprise. I stopped using that social media platform and I’m hard to find now.
I lost my mum last year & I think about what she went through all of the time but I also remember the vile message I received, I often watch Davina on reuniting parents & children and it wasn’t uncommon back then for babies to be taken away from the their families.

I just wish that message I received had been different.

Who was it who contacted you on social media? Your half sibling? I’m confused - how did they know who your (their) mother was and how did they connect you to her?

Spoiler: Trigger Warning: Suicide

I fell down the stairs a few weeks ago, and even though I told everybody that I was mentally OK - the truth is that I wish I could have hit my head or something, to the point where I wouldn't be alive anymore.

I feel dead inside, just a ghost living in a body that I don’t even recognise anymore. I look in the mirror and I see a stranger. A pale, tired, miserable stranger that kind of looks like me. What once made me happy is now tedious, and nothing seems to make me happy anymore. My partner of 4 years dumped me a month or two ago, and I don't really have anyone to even confide in. Everything is awful and I'm over everything at this point.

Please PLEASE reach out and ask for help. From your GP, from a friend or family member or if you don’t feel you can talk to anyone you know in real life please call here:

If you're having a difficult time

What to do if you're struggling with how it feelings to live right now. Read more about how we can help you.

www.samaritans.org

 

[ElChanguito]

I've actually got so many secrets, some of them pretty serious, and no one knows any of them as I'm not an open person.

One is that I haven't had a professional haircut for 20 years!!

It's because in my late teens I had a panic attack "in the chair" and the hairdresser got so angry with me. The more she kept saying, "Okay I need you to stay really still this time," the more I panicked and couldn't. She was laughing at me but getting so angry at the same time. She couldn't cut freehand, she had to use a guide that went over my shoulders so she could cut across the line. In the end she was just like, "That's as much as I can do," and just gave up, made us pay full price though. It was so upsetting I've never tried again, now I just trim bits off myself

It made me too scared to do anything similar, like dentists and opticians, though after about ten years I was thankfully able to do those again. But hairdressers...terrify me.

 

[Rockin' Robin]

I've actually got so many secrets, some of them pretty serious, and no one knows any of them as I'm not an open person.

One is that I haven't had a professional haircut for 20 years!!

It's because in my late teens I had a panic attack "in the chair" and the hairdresser got so angry with me. The more she kept saying, "Okay I need you to stay really still this time," the more I panicked and couldn't. She was laughing at me but getting so angry at the same time. She couldn't cut freehand, she had to use a guide that went over my shoulders so she could cut across the line. In the end she was just like, "That's as much as I can do," and just gave up, made us pay full price though. It was so upsetting I've never tried again, now I just trim bits off myself

It made me too scared to do anything similar, like dentists and opticians, though after about ten years I was thankfully able to do those again. But hairdressers...terrify me.

You're not missing anything going to "professional" hairdressers. In recent years, I've had more bad haircuts than good ones. It is as if they don't care.

My confession for today is that I have a severe dental phobia. I can't remember the last time I went to a dentist, my teeth are in a dreadful condition. Even the fact that I have probably got an abcess around a broken back tooth, where the filling has come away, has not encouraged me to seek dental treatment.
I have had so many unpleasant experiences at the dentist, each one has made my phobia worse.

 

[maharini]

I haven’t been to the dentist for 37 years. I have no cavities, no gum disease, and all my own teeth.

 

[Rockin' Robin]

I haven’t been to the dentist for 37 years. I have no cavities, no gum disease, and all my own teeth.

Having a very sweet tooth, has not helped the situation.

 

[maharini]

My absence from the dentist started with a nightmare trip resulting in a hospital visit. I recovered, steeled myself, went for hypnosis, went to a dentist who put me to sleep in the waiting room and did all my fillings and other work, got the hygienist to show me how to clean forensically, and never. ever. went. back.

 

[Rockin' Robin]

My absence from the dentist started with a nightmare trip resulting in a hospital visit. I recovered, steeled myself, went for hypnosis, went to a dentist who put me to sleep in the waiting room and did all my fillings and other work, got the hygienist to show me how to clean forensically, and never. ever. went. back.

Well done.

 

[ScrambledEggs]

@BettyCrockerr

All I can think is that the half sibling used births and marriage certificates to obtain the information. Our last name though not unusual isn’t very common either so I guess found me that way .

 

[prozacprincess]

I feel nothing when I look at my husband and sometimes I imagine what life would be like if he suddenly died

 

[BettyCrockerr]

I feel nothing when I look at my husband and sometimes I imagine what life would be like if he suddenly died

Why are you still married to him?! Just get a divorce. Life is way too short to feel like this.

 

[prozacprincess]

Why are you still married to him?! Just get a divorce. Life is way too short to feel like this.

I like the lifestyle far too much to let it go at this point

 

[Keikochan]

This past year I have full on reduced my insulin so I'm taking barely enough to survive. It's bit scary cos I had to get diabetic laser eye treatment over the summer to fix the leaky blood vessels on backs of my eyes but I'm still don't want to up my insulin. I've lost 35 lbs so far and I'm so happy with that. As I loss weight I feel beautiful and more confident. I'm 5 lbs away from my goal but as I'm getting closer, I not sure if I want to stop.

 

[rainbowlemon]

Spoiler: Trigger Warning: Suicide

I fell down the stairs a few weeks ago, and even though I told everybody that I was mentally OK - the truth is that I wish I could have hit my head or something, to the point where I wouldn't be alive anymore.

I feel dead inside, just a ghost living in a body that I don’t even recognise anymore. I look in the mirror and I see a stranger. A pale, tired, miserable stranger that kind of looks like me. What once made me happy is now tedious, and nothing seems to make me happy anymore. My partner of 4 years dumped me a month or two ago, and I don't really have anyone to even confide in. Everything is awful and I'm over everything at this point.

Also there's this charity too if you ever need some extra support.

Maytree | We’re open to suicidal feelings

Maytree offer a free 4 night, 5 day stay for adults, with the opportunity to be heard in complete confidence, in a caring, safe environment.

www.maytree.org.uk

 

[If i told you …]

@prozacprincess I know exactly where you are coming from x

 

[JuneJuneHannah]

When I was around 9 years old I was caught playing Chap Door Run but the person who caught me only saw the back of me and thought it was my cousin. I kept running, she got grounded when the lady told her parents.