Support for anyone that needs to vent #3

[Rxt156]

I know right Sorry if i were on a diet i wouldn’t expect my partner to just know what he’s doing calorie wise

I’d just be grateful someone was making me a meal 🫠

think the op needs to make her own meals from now on

Glad it’s not just me that said this
---

Thanks to the two people who didn’t jump down my throat or make me feel like tit for venting my frustrations.

It’s hard to cook my own meals every single night when I work two jobs and am often on late shifts. I am appreciative for him doing this, I know not everyone has this privilege, but it doesn’t change how I feel.

I’ve had countless discussions with him about his use of calorific ingredients and being more mindful of what he’s actually using. He agreed he’d be more considerate and use healthier alternatives. It’s only when I saw him adding a tit tonne of oil to the pan (which we only have in the house for him to fry eggs with) to cook some chicken and asked why he wasn’t using the fry-lite we had purchased that he confessed he wasn’t being as conscious as he was saying he was.

It’s also hard to not eat the food he’s prepped for me for lunch on the occasions he does do it when I don’t work anywhere near a shop and our canteen closes ridiculously early.

Hardly jumping down your throat. Just giving a very easy and reasonable suggestion to a problem. Make your own food in advance or if he insists on making it if you’re at work etc then he can make without adding extras like sauces (which I wouldn’t want someone to do anyway tbf!)

 

[TheGlossy]

Yes i have told her to stop

I wouldn’t even bother telling her to stop! People like that do not understand boundaries or empathy. You need to cut her off stat!

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

Thanks to the two people who didn’t jump down my throat or make me feel like tit for venting my frustrations.

It’s hard to cook my own meals every single night when I work two jobs and am often on late shifts. I am appreciative for him doing this, I know not everyone has this privilege, but it doesn’t change how I feel.

I’ve had countless discussions with him about his use of calorific ingredients and being more mindful of what he’s actually using. He agreed he’d be more considerate and use healthier alternatives. It’s only when I saw him adding a tit tonne of oil to the pan (which we only have in the house for him to fry eggs with) to cook some chicken and asked why he wasn’t using the fry-lite we had purchased that he confessed he wasn’t being as conscious as he was saying he was.

It’s also hard to not eat the food he’s prepped for me for lunch on the occasions he does do it when I don’t work anywhere near a shop and our canteen closes ridiculously early.

But if he’s still not listening then you’ll have to take matters into your own hands if you’re that frustrated by it
Can you not make yourself salads during the week? I make one every morning before work at 6am

 

[Tinkerbell cat]

Hi All.

Feeling so anxious today. Have found out an ex friend who hasn't been in my life for 5 yrs and had moved to a new country is now coming back to our home town for a month. I've heard through the grapevine. Naturally, I shouldn't care but I'm just so anxious about our paths crossing. There are a few social events over the next month and we share a few mutual friends so I'm worried if we do bump into each other that she will be horrible to me, make me feel tit, try and get other friends to maybe not spend time with me etc. I know this all feels & sounds very trivial and childish but its just causing me a bit of stress thinking about it. I know she is stubborn and has fallen out with people before for being my friend in the past. I guess part of me is just majorly overthinking it all and creating scenarios in my head that haven't happened and then getting upset over my thoughts. The joys of being an anxious person! I suppose if our paths do cross then it gets it out of the way and hopefully she can be the bigger person like I will be and just ignore one another. And if our paths don't cross and I'm just working myself up for nothing then
Hate anxiety, hate overthinking - have to remind myself that thoughts are not facts and I'm being really silly.
Sorry for rambling. Just had to get it all out as feel a bit silly worrying the way I am.

Feels good getting that all out!

 

[childofthe70s]

Hi All.

Feeling so anxious today. Have found out an ex friend who hasn't been in my life for 5 yrs and had moved to a new country is now coming back to our home town for a month. I've heard through the grapevine. Naturally, I shouldn't care but I'm just so anxious about our paths crossing. There are a few social events over the next month and we share a few mutual friends so I'm worried if we do bump into each other that she will be horrible to me, make me feel tit, try and get other friends to maybe not spend time with me etc. I know this all feels & sounds very trivial and childish but its just causing me a bit of stress thinking about it. I know she is stubborn and has fallen out with people before for being my friend in the past. I guess part of me is just majorly overthinking it all and creating scenarios in my head that haven't happened and then getting upset over my thoughts. The joys of being an anxious person! I suppose if our paths do cross then it gets it out of the way and hopefully she can be the bigger person like I will be and just ignore one another. And if our paths don't cross and I'm just working myself up for nothing then
Hate anxiety, hate overthinking - have to remind myself that thoughts are not facts and I'm being really silly.
Sorry for rambling. Just had to get it all out as feel a bit silly worrying the way I am.

Feels good getting that all out!

I feel you. Perhaps it be good for you to see them one time and realise they don't have the stranglehold over you and your life any more? I know it isn't easy, and the mind plays every scenario out on repeat at silly o'clock. I saw a high school bully about 13 years ago, I realised what a pathetic individual she truly was. It was all to make her feel better about herself that she talked to me (having told everyone nobody is to be friends with me and leaving me with issues such as PTSD). Another I bumped into a party a few years ago, and she was equally pathetic as well as hadn't changed. Both experiences reaffirmed they didn't know the real me or did I need them in my life. They have helped me move on and try put some of the pain to bed.

Perhaps make a list of all the positive things you have achieved in the last five years, show yourself how far you have come. If any mutuals end up spend lots of time with them, let them, if they're your genuine friends they will make time for you. There maybe an initial novelty this person is back, but the reality is everyone's lives will have moved on and changed.

 

[Tinkerbell cat]

I feel you. Perhaps it be good for you to see them one time and realise they don't have the stranglehold over you and your life any more? I know it isn't easy, and the mind plays every scenario out on repeat at silly o'clock. I saw a high school bully about 13 years ago, I realised what a pathetic individual she truly was. It was all to make her feel better about herself that she talked to me (having told everyone nobody is to be friends with me and leaving me with issues such as PTSD). Another I bumped into a party a few years ago, and she was equally pathetic as well as hadn't changed. Both experiences reaffirmed they didn't know the real me or did I need them in my life. They have helped me move on and try put some of the pain to bed.

Perhaps make a list of all the positive things you have achieved in the last five years, show yourself how far you have come. If any mutuals end up spend lots of time with them, let them, if they're your genuine friends they will make time for you. There maybe an initial novelty this person is back, but the reality is everyone's lives will have moved on and changed.

Thanks so much for replying. She was my best friend for over 10yrs and we fell out when narcissistic ex manipulated her and told her loads of lies, she felt in the middle etc… so I guess we were never really friends to begin with and in the past 5yrs I’ve realised that. That I was always the one there for her, never had that back and she could be quite a mean person with a short fuse so the majority of the time I was just trying to please her and not piss her off.

The mutual friends we share, im a lot closer to some of them now and although at the start she did try to turn them against me, it didn’t work so I know now it’s not something that could happen because I don’t know what nonsense she could possibly say to them now. But you know what it’s like, the paranoia and anxiety has you thinking everything. It’s like I overthink and create these scenarios so I’m prepared if they were to happen and they usually never happen.

you’re right, I need to remember that peoples lives will have moved on and changed, that people grow up and have stuff going on in their own lives.

perhaps if I do see her and we can just ignore one another it’ll finally feel like that line has been drawn and I don’t need to work myself up every time to this extent.

I’m so glad your two experiences have helped you grow stronger. I’m sure that’s a really nice feeling of peace.

I’m a totally different person now, have grown up a lot. Not surrounded by anyone toxic and I need to remember that.

 

[tomato_paste]

Thanks to the two people who didn’t jump down my throat or make me feel like tit for venting my frustrations.

It’s hard to cook my own meals every single night when I work two jobs and am often on late shifts. I am appreciative for him doing this, I know not everyone has this privilege, but it doesn’t change how I feel.

I’ve had countless discussions with him about his use of calorific ingredients and being more mindful of what he’s actually using. He agreed he’d be more considerate and use healthier alternatives. It’s only when I saw him adding a tit tonne of oil to the pan (which we only have in the house for him to fry eggs with) to cook some chicken and asked why he wasn’t using the fry-lite we had purchased that he confessed he wasn’t being as conscious as he was saying he was.

It’s also hard to not eat the food he’s prepped for me for lunch on the occasions he does do it when I don’t work anywhere near a shop and our canteen closes ridiculously early.

So he's lying to you, plain an simple.

He agreed to a change and then didn't follow through, and instead of being honest about it (a simple "can't be arsed /don't want to / i like my food better my way" would have sufficed) he took your choice away - endangering your diet progress and in the long run, your health.

You need to hammer home to him how bleeping disrespectful he has been and I think you also should review your relationship with the new facts you have discovered - when he doesn't want to do something even though it would be a comparatively easy change, he will lie and manipulate to get his way.

And for all the people who would love having their food made by their parter - imagine them always, always adding something to the food you dislike, no matter how much you ask them to stop. A nice surface gesture with a horrible meaning at its core, one of disregard and carelessness.

 

[Tanne1999]

So he's lying to you, plain an simple.

He agreed to a change and then didn't follow through, and instead of being honest about it (a simple "can't be arsed /don't want to / i like my food better my way" would have sufficed) he took your choice away - endangering your diet progress and in the long run, your health.

You need to hammer home to him how bleeping disrespectful he has been and I think you also should review your relationship with the new facts you have discovered - when he doesn't want to do something even though it would be a comparatively easy change, he will lie and manipulate to get his way.

And for all the people who would love having their food made by their parter - imagine them always, always adding something to the food you dislike, no matter how much you ask them to stop. A nice surface gesture with a horrible meaning at its core, one of disregard and carelessness.

We’ve had a long conversation about it, and he said he thought I was being unreasonable with my requests and that those ‘small things’ probably don’t make much difference. When I showed him how many calories things contained, he was shocked. He tried calorie counting himself once but never accounted for oil, sauces, butter, extra stuff he’d put in, he would just rough guess. He had it in his head that your diet didn’t matter, exercise is how you’d lose weight. Not sure how at 31 he doesn’t understand this, but there we are.

Going forward he said he’s going to make much more conscious effort and will be more aware of what he’s actually cooking and the calorie content. I guess time will tell if it’s a reality.

 

[Slaybutter]

Today is the day of my grandfather’s party and my dad’s texting me at six am with drama. It sounds like he’s looking for a reason to not come. Do or don’t, idgaf!

 

[FrostyChops]

I split from my husband three weeks ago. Still living together as we separate. He's just told me he's been on a date and kissed Her. Already. Wtaf. I'm so bleeping angry.

 

[Kim Mild]

I split from my husband three weeks ago. Still living together as we separate. He's just told me he's been on a date and kissed Her. Already. Wtaf. I'm so bleeping angry.

He's only told you that to hurt you. He's probably made it up.

 

[Rxt156]

He's only told you that to hurt you. He's probably made it up.

Came here to say the same. No need for him to tell you other than to upset you

 

[whoareyouu]

Came here to say the same. No need for him to tell you other than to upset you

What a horrible man

 

[Court0x0]

I need advice.
My partner was being secretive on his phone he quickly closed down his files app. I asked him why and he said he didn’t know. I kept digging because it seemed weird and he then shouted in my face and called me names. He said I don’t trust him and I accuse him too much.
Am I a psycho who needs to trust him or is he up to something? Idk what he would be even doing on that app it’s not like he’s on tinder, it was just weird and made no sense to me.

 

[tomato_paste]

I need advice.
My partner was being secretive on his phone he quickly closed down his files app. I asked him why and he said he didn’t know. I kept digging because it seemed weird and he then shouted in my face and called me names. He said I don’t trust him and I accuse him too much.
Am I a psycho who needs to trust him or is he up to something? Idk what he would be even doing on that app it’s not like he’s on tinder, it was just weird and made no sense to me.

Trust your gut here. He's projecting and being a head too - calling you names? That would warrant a strong dicussion about respect right then and there.

 

[childofthe70s]

I need advice.
My partner was being secretive on his phone he quickly closed down his files app. I asked him why and he said he didn’t know. I kept digging because it seemed weird and he then shouted in my face and called me names. He said I don’t trust him and I accuse him too much.
Am I a psycho who needs to trust him or is he up to something? Idk what he would be even doing on that app it’s not like he’s on tinder, it was just weird and made no sense to me.

As a child I picked up the signals my mum didn't on my dad having an affair. I even asked him (I was 10 at the time) and he denied it, but less than a year later my mum asked him and he admitted it. If he's clammering up and calling you names, that rings alarm bells. Always trust your instincts.

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

@Court0x0 i Agree with the people who said trust your instincts. When I was in my last relationship I read his phone because something was telling me there was something on there I needed to see
I found some texts to his female “best friend” calling her beautiful and saying he wanted to run away with her etc.
My fella now I’ve never had that instinct. I’m not saying read his phone cos men don’t like that obvs and it isn’t good advice but I say trust your instincts. If there is something there you need to see you’ll find out somehow.
it might not even be tinder it could be something else!! It could Be money related anything … but the fact he’s calling you names rings alarm bells

 

[or JusRollWithIt]

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Support for anyone that needs to vent #4

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