I reached out to a therapist the other week. I heard back very quickly from her. Without knowing anything about me, she wants to start me off at 2 visits per week. It feels like a bit much.
- Status
New to Tattle Life? Click "Order Thread by Most Liked Posts" button below to get an idea of what the site is about:
I agree and you should tell her that.
Agree it does seem a bit much. Surely an introductory session would be the best approach where you actively engage in two-way dialogue to establish what you require and how best to achieve that e.g telephone conversation only therapy sessions rather than face to face. Definitely get back in touch and air your thoughts
The cynic in me is thinking it's a red flag, as she would earn twice as much from two visits a week as opposed to one.
I found her through an organization that aims to make therapy accessible. Her fee on that site is half of what she normally charges.
Be honest and just say you’d like to ease back into therapy with one sessions not two
Based on our correspondence, I don’t think she will go for less than twice a week. I didn’t have a good feeling about her suggestion but I wanted a gut check. My goal is to be in and out of therapy.
Signing divorce papers tomorrow morning (equal to the decree absolute in the UK). Feel like 
I know it was my decision and I will probably look back to this moment one day and see the good and blah blah blah. But I hate it, I hate everything surrounding this, sometimes I wish we had never met, then we wouldn't have to go through this. Part of me fears he will just sign the papers and that'll be that, all the years together, just gone. Other part fears that he will try to persuade me to give it another go or something. I don't even know which one would be worse. It's just so final.
I hate hate hate having feelings, what good are they anyway
I know it was my decision and I will probably look back to this moment one day and see the good and blah blah blah. But I hate it, I hate everything surrounding this, sometimes I wish we had never met, then we wouldn't have to go through this. Part of me fears he will just sign the papers and that'll be that, all the years together, just gone. Other part fears that he will try to persuade me to give it another go or something. I don't even know which one would be worse. It's just so final.I hate hate hate having feelings, what good are they anyway
i’m so annoyed and upset right now
i feel like my grandmother is VERY toxic. i love her i really do and she does so much for me however
growing up i was a competitive horse rider, if things weren’t perfect she’d shout at me, threaten to sell the horse, not talk to me for hours on end all because i didn’t score high enough etc.
i stopped competing and she stopped coming so all seemed good for a while
during lockdown it was surprisingly ok.
for context, we live next door to each other (i with my parents and my grandparents next door and we have for most of my life)
as we started coming out of lockdown there was one major row with her and my father in which she screamed down the phone to my poor mother, that she was either going to drive her car into a wall or duck off to scotland and never speak to any of us again - baring in mind this was all because of my father (her son) having an opposing view of a friend his - it was rather minor.
i’ve only recently found out that my mother has had all sorts through the years. my father and grandmother had a business together and that was very stressful but my mother always was the middle man who apparently has been threatened, had plates and chairs thrown at her etc. it broke my heart to hear and i feel like i haven’t fully recovered from hearing my grandmother say she wants to kill herself or leave us all over the phone
i’d like to point out i am a student still so can’t just leave.
tonight’s incident was a bit less out there but she had text me for some help on her computer which i told her the exact steps in what to do and even sent a video tutorial
she couldn’t do it, which of course is my fault
i apologised, even offered to go round and help to which she just said forget it, go to sleep
i know i’m in the bad books now and probably won’t be spoken to for around a week now lol
idk what i’m expecting from this post i just needed to get that off my chest
thank you
goodnight
i feel like my grandmother is VERY toxic. i love her i really do and she does so much for me however
growing up i was a competitive horse rider, if things weren’t perfect she’d shout at me, threaten to sell the horse, not talk to me for hours on end all because i didn’t score high enough etc.
i stopped competing and she stopped coming so all seemed good for a while
during lockdown it was surprisingly ok.
for context, we live next door to each other (i with my parents and my grandparents next door and we have for most of my life)
as we started coming out of lockdown there was one major row with her and my father in which she screamed down the phone to my poor mother, that she was either going to drive her car into a wall or duck off to scotland and never speak to any of us again - baring in mind this was all because of my father (her son) having an opposing view of a friend his - it was rather minor.
i’ve only recently found out that my mother has had all sorts through the years. my father and grandmother had a business together and that was very stressful but my mother always was the middle man who apparently has been threatened, had plates and chairs thrown at her etc. it broke my heart to hear and i feel like i haven’t fully recovered from hearing my grandmother say she wants to kill herself or leave us all over the phone
i’d like to point out i am a student still so can’t just leave.
tonight’s incident was a bit less out there but she had text me for some help on her computer which i told her the exact steps in what to do and even sent a video tutorial
she couldn’t do it, which of course is my fault
i apologised, even offered to go round and help to which she just said forget it, go to sleep
i know i’m in the bad books now and probably won’t be spoken to for around a week now lol
idk what i’m expecting from this post i just needed to get that off my chest
thank you
goodnight
Cut your grandmother off completely. You are presumably an adult? So, regardless of the proximity of where you currently live, you do not have to have anything to do with her. She’s toxic - she’s not an old dear getting cranky in her old age, she’s just a bitter nasty woman who frankly doesn’t deserve any of you! Ignore her. Don’t engage in any more of her tit. Your parents should also heed the same advice.i’m so annoyed and upset right now
i feel like my grandmother is VERY toxic. i love her i really do and she does so much for me however
growing up i was a competitive horse rider, if things weren’t perfect she’d shout at me, threaten to sell the horse, not talk to me for hours on end all because i didn’t score high enough etc.
i stopped competing and she stopped coming so all seemed good for a while
during lockdown it was surprisingly ok.
for context, we live next door to each other (i with my parents and my grandparents next door and we have for most of my life)
as we started coming out of lockdown there was one major row with her and my father in which she screamed down the phone to my poor mother, that she was either going to drive her car into a wall or duck off to scotland and never speak to any of us again - baring in mind this was all because of my father (her son) having an opposing view of a friend his - it was rather minor.
i’ve only recently found out that my mother has had all sorts through the years. my father and grandmother had a business together and that was very stressful but my mother always was the middle man who apparently has been threatened, had plates and chairs thrown at her etc. it broke my heart to hear and i feel like i haven’t fully recovered from hearing my grandmother say she wants to kill herself or leave us all over the phone
i’d like to point out i am a student still so can’t just leave.
tonight’s incident was a bit less out there but she had text me for some help on her computer which i told her the exact steps in what to do and even sent a video tutorial
she couldn’t do it, which of course is my fault
i apologised, even offered to go round and help to which she just said forget it, go to sleep
i know i’m in the bad books now and probably won’t be spoken to for around a week now lol
idk what i’m expecting from this post i just needed to get that off my chest
thank you
goodnight
I'll second this. This woman sounds evil and deranged.
Last edited:
thanks guys, i’ll be honest i’ve thought about it for a while, and i’m just getting the balls to do it lol
Ugh, having a bit of a pity party and annoyed at various aspects of my life!
My best friend... we went to school together but were in different peer groups at the time. Became good friends after uni and were both 40 now. Her peer group from school largely still live in the same town while we both live in a nearby city. Since she moved away (maybe a 20 minute drive) they've barely bothered, she doesn't get invited out, they don't make an effort to go see her. The last time maybe 3 of them made an effort was her wedding reception 7 years ago had! I had a party for my 40th which she couldn't make but she went all out for one of the girls parties over the summer. Someone she's not seen for 4 or 5 years and will slate relentlessly! These were the popular surfie kids at school, I don't get why she's still so desperate to be part of the clique who haven't really grown up in 25 years!
My kids... every Easter, valentines, Christmas, Halloween etc I always do little themed sweet bags for their friends. One of the parents will always turn up at our door later with ahurriedly bought bag of wispa bites or something. I see all these pics on Facebook though of my kids friends at parties, play dates, after school teas and mine never gets invited along. I don't mention it because I don't want to upset them buy it must hurt their feelings when their friends are talking about it at school. I've decided not to do the sweets again.
My best friend... we went to school together but were in different peer groups at the time. Became good friends after uni and were both 40 now. Her peer group from school largely still live in the same town while we both live in a nearby city. Since she moved away (maybe a 20 minute drive) they've barely bothered, she doesn't get invited out, they don't make an effort to go see her. The last time maybe 3 of them made an effort was her wedding reception 7 years ago had! I had a party for my 40th which she couldn't make but she went all out for one of the girls parties over the summer. Someone she's not seen for 4 or 5 years and will slate relentlessly! These were the popular surfie kids at school, I don't get why she's still so desperate to be part of the clique who haven't really grown up in 25 years!
My kids... every Easter, valentines, Christmas, Halloween etc I always do little themed sweet bags for their friends. One of the parents will always turn up at our door later with a
If this woman is your “best friend” then why can’t you just ask her this question yourself? Ask why she bends over backwards for these people she hardly sees now and who she slags off? You need to get it off your chest regarding her seemingly making more of an effort to go to their party when she didn’t make your birthday. Maybe she’s not as close to you as you’d like to think?
regards to your kids friends. Do YOU ever make an effort to invite the kids over to yours for parties/sleepovers/after school play etc? How well do you know the parents? Do you make the effort to get to know them? Rather than dishing bout bags of sweets it would probably be more beneficial to really try to get to know them all and speak to your kids about it - ask your kids if they would like to invite a few over for an afternoon etc
Err yeah, I've regularly had thher friends over, organised cinema, trampoline trips, spoken to parents and made an effort. It's bit of an I haven't isn't it!
You didn’t mention that in your original post so I asked the question.
I guess at the end of the day, if there’s a group of kids and their parents who are close and who all get on well and have a socialLife outside of school, that’s sometimes just how it is you know? Try not to let it bother you; if your own kids are happy and are enjoying school etc then just keep doing what you are doing - these things have a way of changing as the kids move around peer groups anyway.
I don't know if it's your first time reaching out to a therapist, but I'd say be wary because some therapists will tell you you need two sessions per week otherwise your progress will be "very slow". On top of these sessions being quite expensive to begin with (which seems to be a factor they never consider when making this request), they also can be very emotionally taxing depending on the issues discussed. A lot of therapists tend to try to lure in any client by requesting multiple sessions per week from the get-go, but good therapists will let you choose your pace. I've had various therapists and reach out to many for an initial session and found that those who tend to request multiple sessions per week are only after the money and their work isn't always efficient. The best therapist I had let me choose my pace.
So my brother is having a baby with his wife. Weve already been told were not allowed to buy any disney clothes which is fair enough but now we're not allowed to buy any supermarket clothes either. It has to be from next or john lewis ect. Am I wrong in thinking this is a little unfair? Im on the sick so dont get alot of money, so I can't really afford 'brand' clothing.
It is not my first time meeting with a therapist. I am not keen on feeling emotionally taxed. A younger me would have thought I need to be brutal with myself to see any progress. I let her know that it’s out of my budget — the program runs on a sliding scale and she’s already opted for the high end.
A gift shouldn't be about the monetary value, its the thought behind it. I think they sound like necky fuckers and should be grateful with any gift they receive. By the time the baby had puked down the front and shat up the back, they'll be thankful for anything they have to hand that fits and is clean.
- Status