Sofie Hagen

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I've been waiting for Sofie's response. She posted in her stories yesterday that she was going to respond to some messages she received, but was busy - I highly suspect she got a backlash that she wasn't anticipating and needed time to craft a response. šŸ¤¦
 
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The irony being, she ends the post about how she will duck up, get it wrong and that and itā€™s good to chat about such topics. Yet, she wonā€™t afford that to anyone she disagrees with and labels them Nazis or bigots in the process. One rule for you ay Sofie šŸ‘šŸ»

With people like Sofie I wonder half the time whether what they actually say is true. She seems incredibly narcissistic, self-centred and lacks any accountability. Trauma seems to be used so regularly as a catch all excuse for her poor behaviour rather than any acknowledgement of what was done wrong and how she can learn from it.
 
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The irony being, she ends the post about how she will duck up, get it wrong and that and itā€™s good to chat about such topics. Yet, she wonā€™t afford that to anyone she disagrees with and labels them Nazis or bigots in the process. One rule for you ay Sofie šŸ‘šŸ»

With people like Sofie I wonder half the time whether what they actually say is true. She seems incredibly narcissistic, self-centred and lacks any accountability. Trauma seems to be used so regularly as a catch all excuse for her poor behaviour rather than any acknowledgement of what was done wrong and how she can learn from it.
Listening to her on podcasts - TGF, MOH, and Secret dinosaur- I felt she often told stories that were simply not trueā€¦.
 
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She should of just said "websites for theaters state the view and leg room, I wish they'd put the width of the chair aswell". What an arse.
Exactly. All of this could've been avoided if they just chose better, more succinct wording.

Also, as someone who books venues for shows (not personally I'm sure but you catch my drift), Sofie is in a good position to advocate for easy, small wins such as only working with venues who commit to advertise the width of their aisles/seats/toilet cubicles etc online. Not just for fat people but this could be handy for any number of things. Why stop there? Why not only work with venues that commit to a living wage for staff, who're autism friendly where possible, who are part of the 'good night out' campaign etc etc. No, that would all be too much work. A self indulgent social media rant will do it. That'll show us how wOkE they are.
 
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Do their followers going ā€˜ignore the haters, why canā€™t we all just work togetherā€™ realise that Sofie literally asked for fat peopleā€™s input on their last post andā€¦ got it? I know Sofie hasnā€™t called it hate but their reply is definitely more defensive than receptive.

Instead of making a slightly gaslighty post explaining why we misunderstood (lol I think not), maybe they could put their energy into sharing some of the perspectives that they received to open up the conversation? I would find it genuinely interesting to read different experiences rather than only hearing Sofieā€™s opinion on it all which, based on that basic disability studies 101 caption they wrote, isnā€™t particularly innovative or inspiring. Itā€™s not like any of this is a brand new conceptā€¦

Itā€™s totally fine to make mistakes and nobody expects perfection (honestly the bar is so low Iā€™d be happy with people treating me like the human/adult I am lol) but I am a little tired of people with huge followings šŸ’•publicly and transparently learningšŸ’• for clout and then causing harm/upset (however unintentional) when they could justā€¦ be quiet and use their huge platform to actually do something rather than talk about doing something. Or at least they could share the work of activists who have already spoken about this on a truly intersectional basis

SIGH
 
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The irony being, she ends the post about how she will duck up, get it wrong and that and itā€™s good to chat about such topics. Yet, she wonā€™t afford that to anyone she disagrees with and labels them Nazis or bigots in the process. One rule for you ay Sofie šŸ‘šŸ»

With people like Sofie I wonder half the time whether what they actually say is true. She seems incredibly narcissistic, self-centred and lacks any accountability. Trauma seems to be used so regularly as a catch all excuse for her poor behaviour rather than any acknowledgement of what was done wrong and how she can learn from it.
I think this is true of a lot of these kinds of people. Their stories are quite obviously embellished but because they touch upon trauma/oppression/whatever, they can't be questioned about it because that would constitute fatphobia/invalidating their trauma/whatever.

I feel like pandora's box has been opened giving these people a platform and I honestly don't know how it's happened. I have heard her in podcasts and seen her comedy, she's not particularly endearing, doesn't have any charm and isn't especially funny or intelligent and is just trotting out the same tit as everyone else in her sphere of the Internet at the moment. We need to stop making these people famous.
 
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Long time lurker. Itā€™s a relief to read similar opinions to my own on sofie. I used to really enjoy her interviews but often felt like she was contradicting herself and sometimes just blatantly lying. Sheā€™s absolutely out of touch with what most people are living. Her inability to recognise her own huge privilege while shouting at everyone else irks me. I think there was one episode where she was berating her fans after the Edinburgh festival in a condescending way that I really started to question her. There was a also an episode of her and Jodi Mitchell when she was going on about how she tells people not to consider her shows a safe space ..... eh .... a year before making a big deal out of the fact she was trying to make everything accessible ,but itā€™s like that never happened itā€™s everyones fault for assuming magically that they should be a safe space . Then the second episode she did with Jodi Mitchell and they were talking about Echoism (a condition so rare of course that no one really knows how to treat it) how she canā€™t remember what she likes and dislikes, she has no memory of things and then they both started talking about the past, my eyes rolled more than my teenager daughters when I try and sound relevant by talking about Tik Tok.Maybe I misunderstood but it just sounded like utter bullshit. She never acknowledges the massive privilege she has being able to afford not one but two therapists when most people are at the mercy of ridiculous waiting lists and only being able to access help at crisis point, often the only counselling people can afford is provided by students in their final year.arghhh! Sorry about the rant. I donā€™t know if any of it makes sense. Appreciate all of your views on this thread.
P.s she didnā€™t even know that lesbian was an important term to list when she did her questionnaire a few months ago. And yet sheā€™s a voice of the LGBTQ community šŸ™„ok promise thatā€™s my rant over
 
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I think this is true of a lot of these kinds of people. Their stories are quite obviously embellished but because they touch upon trauma/oppression/whatever, they can't be questioned about it because that would constitute fatphobia/invalidating their trauma/whatever.

I feel like pandora's box has been opened giving these people a platform and I honestly don't know how it's happened. I have heard her in podcasts and seen her comedy, she's not particularly endearing, doesn't have any charm and isn't especially funny or intelligent and is just trotting out the same tit as everyone else in her sphere of the Internet at the moment. We need to stop making these people famous.
You articulated that brilliantly.

I was grew up with a narcissist, and Sofie using her trauma (whatever that is - we ALL have some form of trauma) as a get-out-of-jail-free-card is a massive red flag for me.
 
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You articulated that brilliantly.

I was grew up with a narcissist, and Sofie using her trauma (whatever that is - we ALL have some form of trauma) as a get-out-of-jail-free-card is a massive red flag for me.
I totally agree. It's just another diversion tactic, the swticheroo to take the focus off her and onto other, more empathetic people who will accept it because they're nice people who don't want to hurt a "traumatised" person.

I had what would be considered a traumatic childhood and despite a lot of self awareness and five years studying psychology I would never invoke my trauma the way she and others do, not because it hasn't affected me or I think it's anything to be ashamed of, but I'm a human being and there are much more interesting things about me (I hope) than defining my entire existence based on traumatic past experiences.
 
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You articulated that brilliantly.

I was grew up with a narcissist, and Sofie using her trauma (whatever that is - we ALL have some form of trauma) as a get-out-of-jail-free-card is a massive red flag for me.
Totally agree also her whole ā€˜Iā€™m always learning , please call me inā€™ thing means she says ridiculously tone deaf things like the classist remarks about northern dialect and then absolves herself of any responsibility by saying that. Like murdering someone and then popping into confession on the way home after burying some bodies #guiltfree .It only grates so much because she goes after everyone else and for normally a lot less.most people offline understand having nuanced conversations with people who think differently to them or the possibility shock horror we all get stuff wrong sometimes. Itā€™s the sanctimonious insta crew that do my nut in who expect a pass on their own bad behaviour but cant see their own hypocracy.
 
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Totally agree also her whole ā€˜Iā€™m always learning , please call me inā€™ thing means she says ridiculously tone deaf things like the classist remarks about northern dialect and then absolves herself of any responsibility by saying that. Like murdering someone and then popping into confession on the way home after burying some bodies #guiltfree .It only grates so much because she goes after everyone else and for normally a lot less.most people offline understand having nuanced conversations with people who think differently to them or the possibility shock horror we all get stuff wrong sometimes. Itā€™s the sanctimonious insta crew that do my nut in who expect a pass on their own bad behaviour but cant see their own hypocracy.
Youā€™ve hit the nail on the head here! Itā€™s not something that gets me that wound up in everyday life, itā€™s Insta ā€˜activistsā€™ in general that really get on my nerves because they position themselves as ā€œworld changingā€ and theyā€™re SO quick to call out people publicly/send their followers piling on them but they never take responsibility for themselves/act like they should always be given the benefit of the doubt because theyā€™re ā€œlearningā€ šŸ™„

In general when they mess up (and with 1000s of followers that could have a big impact) thereā€™s no responsibility taken or acknowledgment of any harm done, thereā€™s just a self absorbed ā€˜reflectionā€™ where they make an excuse about why they behaved that way, they throw in the phrase ā€˜Iā€™m acknowledging my privilege and always learningā€™ and then do absolutely nothing to learn from it and continue as they were šŸ™„

They canā€™t position themselves as an activist and not take constructive feedback, so if they canā€™t handle that, maybe they should consider that the world might not actually need to hear their opinion on every single thing šŸ¤” (says me, continually ranting, but at least I donā€™t act like Iā€™m doing anyone a favour and youā€™re free to disagree without me blasting you on my Insta stories šŸ˜…)
 
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Great points made here. I also wonder at times whether identifying as non-binary and choosing to use all the pronouns (genuine question - which one are you supposed to use on a given day?) is another attempt for her to appear more marginalised and the victim. Something to berate people on if they get it wrong.
 
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Oh god
Long time lurker. Itā€™s a relief to read similar opinions to my own on sofie. I used to really enjoy her interviews but often felt like she was contradicting herself and sometimes just blatantly lying. Sheā€™s absolutely out of touch with what most people are living. Her inability to recognise her own huge privilege while shouting at everyone else irks me. I think there was one episode where she was berating her fans after the Edinburgh festival in a condescending way that I really started to question her. There was a also an episode of her and Jodi Mitchell when she was going on about how she tells people not to consider her shows a safe space ..... eh .... a year before making a big deal out of the fact she was trying to make everything accessible ,but itā€™s like that never happened itā€™s everyones fault for assuming magically that they should be a safe space . Then the second episode she did with Jodi Mitchell and they were talking about Echoism (a condition so rare of course that no one really knows how to treat it) how she canā€™t remember what she likes and dislikes, she has no memory of things and then they both started talking about the past, my eyes rolled more than my teenager daughters when I try and sound relevant by talking about Tik Tok.Maybe I misunderstood but it just sounded like utter bullshit. She never acknowledges the massive privilege she has being able to afford not one but two therapists when most people are at the mercy of ridiculous waiting lists and only being able to access help at crisis point, often the only counselling people can afford is provided by students in their final year.arghhh! Sorry about the rant. I donā€™t know if any of it makes sense. Appreciate all of your views on this thread.
P.s she didnā€™t even know that lesbian was an important term to list when she did her questionnaire a few months ago. And yet sheā€™s a voice of the LGBTQ community šŸ™„ok promise thatā€™s my rant over
Oh my god yes that echoism bullshit! I think that was when she jumped the shark for me too. The navel gazing she does is incredible.
 
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I found her interesting for approximately 5 minutes and then the blatant misuse of her platform to bully others all in the name of activism was so abundantly clear it made me sick. She is toxic and unpleasant and the constant fawning and indulgence is nauseating and destructive. Hope others wake up and see her for the narcissistic, bullying baby that she is.
 
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Great points made here. I also wonder at times whether identifying as non-binary and choosing to use all the pronouns (genuine question - which one are you supposed to use on a given day?) is another attempt for her to appear more marginalised and the victim. Something to berate people on if they get it wrong.
Absolutely. Of course you can't say anything because you're being oppressive.

I am very critical of the gender roles enforced by society and have spent my entire adult life around LGBT+ and gender non-conforming people, and I think it's utter nonsense when someone presents as conventionally feminine and then claims the marginalised identity of a gender non-conforming person.

If you appear outwardly feminine and you're not arsed what pronouns people use, why mention it at all beyond a self-obsession and preoccupation with sounding interesting. It's so tedious.
 
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Youā€™ve hit the nail on the head here! Itā€™s not something that gets me that wound up in everyday life, itā€™s Insta ā€˜activistsā€™ in general that really get on my nerves because they position themselves as ā€œworld changingā€ and theyā€™re SO quick to call out people publicly/send their followers piling on them but they never take responsibility for themselves/act like they should always be given the benefit of the doubt because theyā€™re ā€œlearningā€ šŸ™„

In general when they mess up (and with 1000s of followers that could have a big impact) thereā€™s no responsibility taken or acknowledgment of any harm done, thereā€™s just a self absorbed ā€˜reflectionā€™ where they make an excuse about why they behaved that way, they throw in the phrase ā€˜Iā€™m acknowledging my privilege and always learningā€™ and then do absolutely nothing to learn from it and continue as they were šŸ™„

They canā€™t position themselves as an activist and not take constructive feedback, so if they canā€™t handle that, maybe they should consider that the world might not actually need to hear their opinion on every single thing šŸ¤” (says me, continually ranting, but at least I donā€™t act like Iā€™m doing anyone a favour and youā€™re free to disagree without me blasting you on my Insta stories šŸ˜…)
especially as she/they not sure what we are using, never gives constructive feedback just gets aggressive
 
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Agree with everything that's already been said. I think bullying in a FB group was why she suddenly left The Guilty Femenist too? I have had to stop listening to Bad People because some of the things she laughs at when discussing crime and things that happened to people turns my stomach.

I also don't know how or why she has 2 therapists. In a professional context I know that would generally not be encouraged and in a social context who can afford it?!
 
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I earn a good salary and can't afford one bloody therapist anymore. They're all Ā£60-80 a session these days. She's got some audacity when she was on the beg not long back.
 
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Agree with everything that's already been said. I think bullying in a FB group was why she suddenly left The Guilty Femenist too? I have had to stop listening to Bad People because some of the things she laughs at when discussing crime and things that happened to people turns my stomach.

I also don't know how or why she has 2 therapists. In a professional context I know that would generally not be encouraged and in a social context who can afford it?!
No way that is true IMO, a therapist would never advise you to have more than one as their approaches could end up being contradictory
 
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I found this thread from Google Sofie and their dog to see how the dog is. I was blocked months ago by Sofie after pointing out the dog was clearly from a breeder. I naively had believed them when they initially said how much they wanted to adopt a dog responsibly.

Personally I love seeing people adopt rather than shop, but I would never weigh in on someones decision to buy a bred puppy unless my opinion was asked for. With Sofie I'd caught a live on Instagram where they were repeatedly was saying how important it was to them to adopt and be responsible, so I sent them some info about a rescue organisation that adopts to people that live in flats (they'd said they were struggling with that). They did not respond to that message.

A couple of days later I saw them talking about Hank - to my mind a very clearly bred puppy - and messaged again to say the owner was clearly a breeder.

I then got blocked and posted about aggressively.

I'm sad to hear Hank apparently isn't being cared for properly and that they are accepting financial help for his vet costs :(

In retrospect it seems I provoked some narcissistic rage in Sofie. I think they're troubled and toxic. Hope they and Hank get the help they need. Although from my knowledge of narcissists there's limited scope for change.
 
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