I'm on my phone and scrolling down to reveal @VeniVidiVicki 's lasagne was comedy gold.
Crap cat #4 always reminds me of JezzaView attachment 1705499
ETA to say my grandparents watched a cooking show in the 80’s presented by the Roux brothers-one of whom being Michel Roux Senior and because they were obsessed with roux-making I thought they’d invented it until I was about 30
Same here! I'll be making a donation too. My local independent foodbank says cash helps them run their van, which I'd never thought about.If it discourages even one person from trying that trainwreck themselves, I'll feel that my effort was worth it. A public service, if you will.
I forgot to add to my post that because of the wasted food I'm going to follow the fine example of @dickanddom and make a £20 donation to the local food bank.
Yes the tang of old fish skins is due to the bicarb. I know this because I sometimes drink it (reflux) and it is disgusting.Lads, I did it. I made the soda bread.
Soda Bread, 7p [VG/V/DF]
This is an ideal bread recipe for newcomers, no fancy equipment needed and the bare bones of a recipe. I tricked Mrs J into making this last week; she who famously doesn’t cook but hovers hel…cookingonabootstrap.com
I already had the ingredients, apologies for the slightly spenny ‘organic’ flour and milk (organic is a word that is not in Jack’s lexicon, I feel).
View attachment 1706815My only complaints were that she way overestimated the amount of milk/lemon juice mixture by almost a third, which meant I threw some away. Not thrift approved behaviour. Also, I missed the part where it said you could add salt for more flavour because it was buried in the purple prose that preceded the recipe and frankly, when I’m making food it’s because I’m interested in food not your bleeping life story.
Anyway, the dough came together ok. All going surprisingly well so far.
View attachment 1706819
Exactly 40 minutes later, it came out of the oven looking not too bad. I was planning my unbelievably controversial mea culpa, ready to hold my hands up and admit it wasn’t at all bad.
View attachment 1706825
BUT THEN…I caught a whiff of lingering honk! The loaf smelled like fish. I bravely ploughed on and cut into it (not easy, it’s pretty solid) and I tasted it. If it weren’t for the weird fishy taste, it would have had all the taste of thin air on sliced cardboard. Diabolical. Clever Fraus, was the honk the result of too much bicarb, on top of SR flour? Not that it really matters, even if the taste was ok it had the consistency of a brick. Thankfully, I gave some to the various animals I have, so it wasn’t entirely wasted but I would be furious if I had to bin it.
For anyone thinking of trying this, please save your time and money. I’ve taken one for the team so you don’t have to. Go well x
I think she's used one of those mini loaf tins instead and just photographed it close up to look full size and niceishUnfortunately it does not have a brick like consistency. Overnight it has not changed. Deceptive crust, raw slop inside. Everyone is giving it a wide berth and shooting suspicious glances in it's direction. On this occasion nobody declared it the best ever and no one applauded.
I still can't believe how different it looks to Jack's photo. Did she use a different recipe, plagerise a photo or photograph someone else's cake to pass off as her own?
ETA
I've just done a reverse image search but nothing doing. Given the prescence of Terrys in the background and the grimy af cooling rack, I have to concede this is Jack's set up and cake.
View attachment 1708555
Weeell, at least kitty enjoyed breakfast!Breakfast sardines egg and spinach
1 tin of sardines (55p)
1 egg totally free because I bought them last week
Any spinach I had some night-beet salad which contained some spinach leaves. So I painstakingly picked them outView attachment 1708741
choose a mug with a fat bottom, no mention of greasing it with anything so… be prepared to scrape egg off View attachment 1708754
the recipe says crack your egg and pierce the yolk with something sharp to avoid explosionoes . This pencil looked pretty sharp View attachment 1708759
we are then instructed to open the sardines and save the oil… being a greedy goblin she eats the whole tin! But you don’t have to dear hearts look at the pitiful amount of oil really not worth saving is it? View attachment 1708769
do not cover with foil under any circumstances do you know how many 999 calls she took from people setting fire to themselves with foil in the microwave? No use cling film and duck biggest dave cover the egg and pierce with something sharpView attachment 1708774View attachment 1708775
she says 30 second bursts mine took 90 View attachment 1708780
my five year old came in from upstairs and said mummy I can smell cat food upstairs what’s that horrid smell?
we only like sardinesView attachment 1708795
They think it’s their birthday!Weeell, at least kitty enjoyed breakfast!
Mmmmm. I bet your house smells lovely. Microwaved tinned sardines. Yum.Breakfast sardines egg and spinach
1 tin of sardines (55p)
1 egg totally free because I bought them last week
Any spinach I had some night-beet salad which contained some spinach leaves. So I painstakingly picked them outView attachment 1708741
choose a mug with a fat bottom, no mention of greasing it with anything so… be prepared to scrape egg off View attachment 1708754
the recipe says crack your egg and pierce the yolk with something sharp to avoid explosionoes . This pencil looked pretty sharp View attachment 1708759
we are then instructed to open the sardines and save the oil… being a greedy goblin she eats the whole tin! But you don’t have to dear hearts look at the pitiful amount of oil really not worth saving is it? View attachment 1708769
do not cover with foil under any circumstances do you know how many 999 calls she took from people setting fire to themselves with foil in the microwave? No use cling film and duck biggest dave cover the egg and pierce with something sharpView attachment 1708774View attachment 1708775
she says 30 second bursts mine took 90 View attachment 1708780
my five year old came in from upstairs and said mummy I can smell cat food upstairs what’s that horrid smell?
we only like sardinesView attachment 1708795
£6 ffs, you can buy three or four nice 6-portion cakes/brioche loaves for thatFrauen, we're going in!
Ingredients for pina colada bread sourced from the little shop in the village, along with some nice brioche buns in case it's inedible and a finger of fudge because why not...
Oh you naughty, nefarious ninnie. You bought Jacks flour .Frauen, we're going in!
Ingredients for pina colada bread sourced from the little shop in the village, along with some nice brioche buns in case it's inedible and a finger of fudge because why not...
If someone wants to tackle a restaurant quality dish, they could do the delicious Ivy-esque salad this version of counter sitting Jack served up in a Vice magazine interview in 2019. It’s allegedly from Tin Can Cook.'Restaurant quality dish'. Chinny reckon.
The pencilBreakfast sardines egg and spinach
1 tin of sardines (55p)
1 egg totally free because I bought them last week
Any spinach I had some night-beet salad which contained some spinach leaves. So I painstakingly picked them outView attachment 1708741
choose a mug with a fat bottom, no mention of greasing it with anything so… be prepared to scrape egg off View attachment 1708754
the recipe says crack your egg and pierce the yolk with something sharp to avoid explosionoes . This pencil looked pretty sharp View attachment 1708759
we are then instructed to open the sardines and save the oil… being a greedy goblin she eats the whole tin! But you don’t have to dear hearts look at the pitiful amount of oil really not worth saving is it? View attachment 1708769
do not cover with foil under any circumstances do you know how many 999 calls she took from people setting fire to themselves with foil in the microwave? No use cling film and duck biggest dave cover the egg and pierce with something sharpView attachment 1708774View attachment 1708775
she says 30 second bursts mine took 90 View attachment 1708780
my five year old came in from upstairs and said mummy I can smell cat food upstairs what’s that horrid smell?
we only like sardinesView attachment 1708795