Slopalong: Cooking with Jack Monroe

Lucky Escape · Nov 3, 2022

@Notmycat May I please have the Goulash recipe from Tin Can Cook?

I love a good goulash, and paprika and caraway are two of my favourite spices. I'm a little worried that Jack's version is listed under 'beans', but I'm willing to take the risk for the canal...

Notmycat · Nov 3, 2022

WhyYouCry? said:
Self love stew . I might change my slop-a-long entry to that. I’m fond of self punishment.

Self love stew

Bugger13 · Nov 3, 2022

Notmycat said:
"Chicken soup

I made that once. It’s shit-like something I imagine a gulag would serve.

Notmycat · Nov 3, 2022

@Lucky Escape

Goulash

boysinthehood · Nov 3, 2022

Notmycat said:
Self love stew

Didn't she once do a video of herself reading this out? It makes me shiver just thinking about it.

Notmycat · Nov 3, 2022

@colouredlines Turkey batman

Lucky Escape · Nov 3, 2022

Notmycat said:
@Lucky Escape

Goulash

Hahahaha, no caraway, hardly any paprika, and, er, rinsed beans. Brilliant, I'll add myself to the wiki and give it a go this weekend. Thanks!

MistyWindows · Nov 3, 2022

Notmycat said:
Vegan(ish)

BREAD AND BREAKFAST
"Cheese" and marmite giant scone
Apricot and sunflower seed granola
Vegan brioche
Crumpets
Peanut butter and banana breakfast bars
Banana and berry baked oats
Pear and ginger pancakes
Spiced banana bread
Breakfast burritos
Rainbow fritters
Breakfast MuckMuffin
Tomato and olive Scuffins
Chocolate peanut butter spread
Breakfast wrap with banana chilli ketchup
Everyday sausages

SOUPS
"Chicken" soup
French onion soup
Cannellini and garlic soup
Roast tomato and thyme soup
Chickpea leek and fennel soup
Cannellini beans and greens soup
Jerusalem artichoke leek and white bean soup
Cuban black bean soup
Mock a leekie soup

SANDWICHES
Tunha sandwich
Classic "egg" sandwich
The Jack Reuben
Coronation chickpea sandwich
Nasu Dengaku buns
White bean artichoke and onion sandwich
BBQ jackfruit buns
Mock duck wraps
The big Jack
Vegan mayo

SALAD BAR
Raw courgette salad with "ricotta", cannellini beans and preserved lemon dressing
Chickpea Caesar salad
Salad dressing base
Green and white bean pasta salad
Beetroot pickled chickpeas
Potato salad with herb vinaigrette dressing
Cauliflower ginger lentil and lemon salad
Garlic broad bean puree with salad leaves
Vegan ricotta
Artichoke bread and tomato dip
Vegan labneh

PASTA, RICE AND NOODLES
Kindanara
Come to bed parmigiana
You won't believe it's vegan bolognese
Risotto milanese (sort off)
Cauliflower mac and cheese with crispy bacon crumbs
Beetroot and lentil lasagne
Klingon Gagh, vegan edition
Celeriac gnocchi
Smoky vegan 'cheese' sauce
Salad bag pesto

BIG DINNERS
Ultimate moussaka
Butterbean and cider casserole
Spinach dumplings in creamy tomato sauce
Slow mole inspired sauce
Iman Baildi
Mushroom lentil and ale pie
Chilli non carne
Aubergine stroganoff
Osso Jacco
Confit "duck" and pear cassoulet

FAKEAWAYS
Seasoned chick'n poppers
Sesame toasts
Crispy seasoned tofu
Thai inspired curry
Fake bake
Greek styled healthier chips
Crispy chow mein
Chinese style mushroom curry
"Egg" fried rice

ROAST DINNERS
Yorkies
Jack's legendary roast potatoes
'Pork Belly"
Buttery garlic chard
Leek fennel garlic and chickpea mash
A most excellent nut roast
Mandarin leek and fennel stuffing
Beet Wellington
Stuffed cauliflower

DESSERTS
Peanut butter crumble cookies
Miso caramel sauce
Bakewell tart
Millefeuilles
Coconut lime and strawberry puffs
Mint choc chip ice cream
Biscoff ice cream
Lime marmalade ice cream
Tiramifu
Bean juice meringues

PUDDINGS
Bread no butter pudding
Red rice pudding
Sticky gingerbread fingers
Two ingredient berry bread pudding
Orange and almond brownies
Birthday cake

Thank you dearheart, I can’t believe she has miso caramel on there. It’s genuinely the most delicious thing I’ve ever eaten.
I bet hers is a packet of instant miso soup with some crushed up werther’s originals in it.

Hold my beans · Nov 3, 2022

Lucky Escape said:
Hahahaha, no caraway, hardly any paprika, and, er, rinsed beans. Brilliant, I'll add myself to the wiki and give it a go this weekend. Thanks!

Are you going all out and trying the luxury version?

Notmycat · Nov 3, 2022

To all who are cooking/doing their slops over the weekend, I wish you all well my tender ones. God speed

(My friend called in while I was transcribing the indexs and asked me if she needed to call my mental health team, she plans to sign up to Tattle tonight for the craic)

MistyWindows said:
Thank you dearheart, I can’t believe she has miso caramel on there. It’s genuinely the most delicious thing I’ve ever eaten.
I bet hers is a packet of instant miso soup with some crushed up werther’s originals in it.

Miso caramel @MistyWindows

WhyYouCry? · Nov 3, 2022

boysinthehood said:
Didn't she once do a video of herself reading this out? It makes me shiver just thinking about it.

Maybe I can recreate the video? Wearing a Jack mask to avoid of course.

Witchfinder Sargeant · Nov 3, 2022

Notmycat said:
@mchops

[

Firstly, why, and secondly, why add water when the juice from the tin is right there?

(Edited because I apparently can't read for comprehension today)

definitelynotvlad · Nov 3, 2022

Notmycat said:
Cooking on a bootstrap

BREAD
Basic white
Simple flatbreads
Applesauce breadcake
Sprout scones
Unfuckupable wholemeal pizza dough
Socca gluten free frying pan pizza base
Five minute bread
Coconut milk soda bread
Pint glass bread
Corn muffins
Lardy buns
Cakey goodness bread

BREAKFAST
Ping porridge
Berry green smoothie
Crappuccino
Beetroot, Carrot and Ginger juice (without a juicer)
Saturday morning pancakes
Fluffy berry pancakes
Microwave kale and chilli eggs
Mandarin Bircher
Marmalade granola
Shakshuka
Gramcake
Microwave mountain omelette
Courgette lemon pancakes
Pizza toast
French toast

SOUPS
Worts
Mushroom and Greek cheese soup
One ingredient mushroom soup
Cheese soup
Poor chaplain soup
Colcannon soup
Payn Fondue
Spinach, lentil and lemon soup
Carrot and Greek cheese soup
Spiced potato soup with chilli and yoghurt
Spiced cauliflower, butter bean and almond soup
Chilled pea soup
Spiced split pea and yoghurt soup
Garlic soup
Roast carrot and chickpea soup
Broccoli stalk and barley soup
Allium soup
Pappa Al pomodoro
Kale, barley and cumin soup
Minestrone

A PACKET OF PASTA OR A BAG OF RICE
Mug Marmite Mac and cheese
Carrot ribbon pasta
Parsnip Mac and cheese
Spaghetti alla puttanesca
Roasted cabbage pasta with cheese
Lazarus pasta
Sausagne
Creamy cannellini and fennel pasta
Pumpkin and bacon carbonara
Chicken liver Bolognese
Marrow gratin
Creamy crabby pasta
Smoked mackerel kedgeree
Green rice
Microwave courgette, tomato and cheese bake
Chillaf (microwave chilli)
Spring herb risotto

SPUDS
Croquettes
Corny browns
Also Dum
Tinned spud fishcakes
Moonshine mash

BEANS, PULSES, LENTILS
Best ever nut burger
Beet hummus and flatbread
Black bean tarkari
Black bean sauce
Aubergine and lentil vindaloo
I cannot get enough of this five minute thing
Beans and greens guardian salad
Tindade
Deep fried spicy chickpeas
Tarka daal
Makhani daal
Onion and lentil korma
Beetburgers
Beetballs
Red bean soup and dumplings

CONTRABAND
Turkey batman and planes and more
Prawn and sausage etouffee
BBQ cola ribs
Sardine and tomato soup
Hot sardines with a Herby sauce
Anchovy savories
Black pudding hash
Southern fried livers
Dad's Chinese chicken curry

EAT MORE GREENS
Mushroom Rogan Josh
Umami mushrooms
Boldslaw
Mushroom and spinach Bolognese
Kale, chickpea and peanut curry
Broccoli and courgette 'pesto'
Self love stew
Tofu shashlik
Mushroom and tea bourgignon
Green juice without a juicer

SWEETS AND TREATS
Two ingredient coconut hot chocolate
Not too chocolatey chocolate and banana cake
Crumbly almondy (accidentally gluten free) cookies
Double chocolate Guinness brownies
Leftover stollen (or Panettone) Ice cream
Brown bread Ice cream
Pear and almond tart
Whirly buns
Beetroot chocolate loaf cake
Choux pastry hearts
Rhubarb and custard rice pudding
Tahini orange peel semifreddo
Perfect chocolate chip cookies

Do I dare ask what a “Crappucino” is, tender one? I may make it as a follow up to the Lingreenie, since she’s named it so temptingly.

Notmycat · Nov 3, 2022

definitelynotvlad said:
Do I dare ask what a “Crappucino” is, tender one? I may make it as a follow up to the Lingreenie, since she’s named it so temptingly.

Your wish to find out what it is has been granted
,

SamFoxStuckinaCloak · Nov 3, 2022

Given that I am also as Greek as Prince William and our smol pixie, I feel it only right to attempt a recipe from the motherland. I was searching for the ‘much feted’ pastitos recipe, but couldn’t find it. If anyone can track it down I’ll do that, and if not I’ll attempt the delicious sounding courgette and Greek cheese pasta (does this mean feta, or halloumi?) stay tuned to find out.

MistyWindows · Nov 3, 2022

Notmycat said:
To all who are cooking/doing their slops over the weekend, I wish you all well my tender ones. God speed

(My friend called in while I was transcribing the indexs and asked me if she needed to call my mental health team, she plans to sign up to Tattle tonight for the craic)

Miso caramel @MistyWindows

Ohhh thank you!
Ahhhhh but she used her stolen not stolen stolen heavy bottom pan for it

MancBee · Nov 3, 2022

Captainmouse said:
Mashed potato! She’s written a recipe for mashed potato ?

"First you peel them with your knives, and then you smash them all to bits. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha"

Notmycat · Nov 3, 2022

For mashed potatoes and lighter mashed potatoes

Fenella · Nov 3, 2022

Pulsing the oats and ice in the crappucino is going to do fuck all surely? It’s just going to be bits of oats and ice floating in milk and coffee. I was half thinking of making it just for fun as I obviously have the ingredients but I was planning on actually blending it!

Notmycat · Nov 3, 2022

@Fenella maybe that explains why its crap

Slopalong: Cooking with Jack Monroe

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