Slopalong #3 She doesn't understand beans

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hoopdedoo

Not to discourage any of the good Slopalong energy, but this recipe has pork in it. Taking partially cooked pork out of the oven and leaving it to cool for a while - no, I don't believe Jack's claims that it will continue to cook inside the dressing gown - can be really dangerous. https://www.webmd.com/diet/is-it-safe-to-eat-rare-pork
 
Reactions: 28

Lostcat

There is a thing called a Hay Box, an ancient method of cookery, where the cooking pot is heated up to boiling point, then put in a box thickly insulated with hay for several hours to finish cooking in that extremely well insulated environment, they were still doing it in rural places during WW2 to save on fuel and it seemed to work okay.

I 100% agree that a dressing gown is not a hay box though, and it's insulating properties will be nowhere near as good..

Nevertheless, I am going to do it. But I am going to do it WITH SCIENCE.

I have a Digital Thermometer Probe and am going to pop the probe into the casserole dish and monitor the ongoing temperature over the next couple of hours. I might even plot it on a graph. And will only taste it if the pork sausage has hit 75C for at least 10 minutes, I have no desire for my obituary to read "Lostcat died of e coli in the pursuit of internet hilarity".

I have other concerns about the recipe for the Sausage & Bean Cassoulet regarding the cooking/cooling/recooking of the sausages, and the reheating of them for leftovers, but will go into that once I've made the darn thing on Sunday.
 
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N

NaeDebates

My partner has for so long struggled to understand why I have such a problem with Jack Monroe despite my ranting and raving (I think she just doesn’t listen to me in all honesty) but the slopalong has been an absolute revelation to her - chapeau ninnies! She even gets into bed at night and asks “any new slops today?!” (I know, I know, really sexy pillow talk). She totally gets NOW why I think JM is a fraud. However, she has just caught me intently watching a mug spin round in an internet stranger’s microwave and I think she thinks I’ve fully lost it. This thread is GENIUS, thanks guys
 
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Smol Pixel

Happy to be of service and properly laughing out loud.
 
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That Forensic Man

Microwave mini egg snow balls hot chocolate

Part 1

Slopalong #3 She doesn't understand beans

Oh lordy are you all in for a treat. I didn't make this for my lunch as I thought I would be kind and involve my 13 year old, Miss Heastlanda (MH). All photography by her. 1. The ingredients. I had everything in stock except for the chocolate. Switched the malt vinegar for red wine vinegar...
tattle.life
Substitution of mini eggs with snow balls suggested by @Lostcat, merci x
It calls for 8 mini eggs at 3.3g each so 26.4g
The snow balls are 3.9g each so 7 does the trick, but what's 1 snow ball between friends
These j1g msg scales are really handy




When I was banging on about 200ml not being a proper mug here's the proof, mug on the left is a bog standard size, it ain't full. My proper hot choccy mug on the right is about half full



It says microwave the milk (200ml) and mini eggs for 60 seconds on half power, stir then repeat thrice more.
As predicted it was just warm so I put it on high for another minute.
Finished article including 'bits' left over, they were mushy rather than hard shell pieces left and weren't keen on dissolving. I assume mini eggs would be similar.




The drink itself is another 3 - middle class, but it's not as good as the peanut butter hot chocolate version. Again can't call it terrible despite not enough heating time.
I had enough milk and snow balls to make a second batch to fill my big mug so "dangerously doubled" up.
Not sure I would choose to do it this way again, between the two recipes I would probably go for 300ml milk, 100ml water with 6+ squares and a tbsp peanut butter.
But I have had some nefarious ideas with other chocolates, watch this space
 
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veryfondoftea

Good morning all, donation made today, on pay day as promised. Turns out all the food banks near me are Trussell so I donated to a local homelessness charity instead, because fuck Trussell and their JM enabling. There’s the spirit!

Thanks for all you do, sloppers.
 

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Reactions: 33

Captainmouse

pumbilical cord said:
Uncooked flour can harbour e.coli. if her cake recipes are causing uncooked batter that's more danger jack to contend with.
Click to expand...
So basically the majority of her cake/sauce based recipes then, She never cooks the flour hence her sauce never thickens
 
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Smol Pixel

I have mug envy
 
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Lumpyspaceprincess

I actually had a dream/memory of making her carrot/lentil/onion dip last night.
My main memory was it was claggy and didn’t taste of much. I think it went straight in the bin.
 
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lurkerfrau

It’s slop o’clock, slop fans!

Today I’m baking Lardy Buns, which just so happens to be my new pet name for myself. I’ve gone with the recipe from Cooking On A Bootstrap which favours plain flour and yeast, as opposed to variations online where she unfathomably uses both self raising AND yeast. I want this recipe to actually work so I’m going for what appears to be the more sensible version.


I had everything except the lard which was 41p
She starts off by blooming her yeast in warm water before adding it to the ingredients. Seems a bit of an arse about tit way of doing it. Why not just add it to the dry ingredients and then add the warm water to the bowl like you would in any other recipe? Unnecessary faffing.


Made my well which she explains is a “sort of hole”. So helpful. So forensic.

Then I added the yeast water, butter and lard. So, so much lard. And the rest of the water to get a dough.

It did smell nice and cinamonny at this point but I honestly can’t emphasis how much of this mass is just pure lard. I did some kneading and the dough came together nice and easily. Felt springy, as she described. At this stage, it’s all quite orokising

Back in the bowl and left to prove, covered over and left somewhere warm. The instructions are much better than the woeful proving instructions that went with the horrendous courgette bread.
Here it is before proving.
And after - she says to leave it for an hour or until doubled in size. It probably took

Then it’s time to form the buns by rolling the dough out, cutting into strips and rolling up.


The recipe is meant to make six buns but as you can see, I got a couple of wee ones too. She then says you can brush with egg if you want. I am a fancy gal so I did some brushing and it’s just as well, because the next instruction is to sprinkle with sugar and without the egg wash, I can’t see how the sugar would cost the buns. They aren’t particularly sticky to touch.

The recipe calls for 50g of sugar - this is so much sugar to sprinkle on this many buns, but what do I know?
So much sugar.
Into the oven they go

Some early investigations revealed they were quite underdone in the middle so I stuck them back in for a bit. The resulting buns are a bit overdone on the outside but at least the lardy innards are cooked through.




taste test to follow…
 
Reactions: 45

lurkerfrau

So here they are - not overly offensive looking


the small ones are basically rock hard missiles that could smash a window with a flick of the wrist

The bigger ones are hard on the outside but still quite soft in the middle. Very stodgy. They don’t hold together particularly well. They taste of cinamon and sugar. They are basically ok?

Can I give them a 2.5?





Your browser is not able to display this video.
 
Reactions: 46

FlusterCuck

This makes me sad, a properly made Lardy cake is an unctuous, flaky decadent treat.
 
Reactions: 27
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