Single by Choice

[petitspois]

The first day to day things that I don't miss that come to mind....

1. No putting up with a stinking toilet or drips or pee on the seat or floor
2. No big baby stuff when they are ill
3. No need to coo and nod when they talk, at considerable length, about their strava/bike/run/swim etc..
4. No need to feel like you should have sex when you're not 100% keen
5. Can suit yourself with meals, holidays and house decor
6. No need to deal with in laws
7. No need to feel obliged to tidy up after them and bear the mental load of organising them and their lives

 

[Meringue22]

The first day to day things that I don't miss that come to mind....

1. No putting up with a stinking toilet or drips or pee on the seat or floor
2. No big baby stuff when they are ill
3. No need to coo and nod when they talk, at considerable length, about their strava/bike/run/swim etc..
4. No need to feel like you should have sex when you're not 100% keen
5. Can suit yourself with meals, holidays and house decor
6. No need to deal with in laws
7. No need to feel obliged to tidy up after them and bear the mental load of organising them and their lives

I second every single thing on this list!

 

[Huxley]

The first day to day things that I don't miss that come to mind....

1. No putting up with a stinking toilet or drips or pee on the seat or floor
2. No big baby stuff when they are ill
3. No need to coo and nod when they talk, at considerable length, about their strava/bike/run/swim etc..
4. No need to feel like you should have sex when you're not 100% keen
5. Can suit yourself with meals, holidays and house decor
6. No need to deal with in laws
7. No need to feel obliged to tidy up after them and bear the mental load of organising them and their lives

Not having to deal with in laws is such a huge plus.

I was with my ex for 10 years but I only ever spent 1 Christmas with them, which I am ever so grateful for now!

His family never used to ask me anything, it was always about them, I had to almost dumb myself down so I didn’t appear threatening. I remember after 5 years they finally asked what I did for a living, and was shocked I was more senior than their son; up until then they always used to make little comments about my ex having to make his own dinner (shock horror!) when I was still in the office working, or snide remarks (particularly from his dad) about the fact we had a cleaner. His dad always used to ask me what I spent my ex’s money on, “shoes and handbags”, and I bit my tongue & laughed it off to keep the peace. When I should have said that the ex was tighter than 2 coats of paint and never bought me anything, it was always 50/50 and I could buy my own shoes and handbags!

 

[Tell.A.Tale]

The first day to day things that I don't miss that come to mind....

1. No putting up with a stinking toilet or drips or pee on the seat or floor
2. No big baby stuff when they are ill
3. No need to coo and nod when they talk, at considerable length, about their strava/bike/run/swim etc..
4. No need to feel like you should have sex when you're not 100% keen
5. Can suit yourself with meals, holidays and house decor
6. No need to deal with in laws
7. No need to feel obliged to tidy up after them and bear the mental load of organising them and their lives

No 7 is absolutely what I miss the least…

 

[ElChanguito]

Yes Gary

 

[Sideboard Bob]

 

[newtoyou]

The not hearing someone breathing is so funny. I read things from women all the time who cant stand hearing their husband eat and breathe. I couldn’t do that every day

 

[BanditHealer]

Last night while watching TV, I had a brief thought that I'd like a partner to bring me snacks and drinks while I sat down, but then I realised that I actually want to win the euromillions on Friday and have a housekeeper and personal chef.

 

[drewydrop]

At work yesterday and a new older male colleague (in his 50s) found out I was 40. He said I looked much younger and my usual jokey repsone is that’s probably cos I’m single with no children. He then started asking the usual why are you still single and then started telling me how his daughter found love at 30 and that there’s still time for me At no point had I said I’d wanted to be with someone or was unhappy on my own. Luckily another colleague interjected and said maybe she wants to be alone and then we had a big conversation about how it’s easier to be alone and be hard to live with someone now etc.. But it really bugged me as I know he would not have said that to a male colleague.

 

[aidil]

I’m the only single person in my workplace and our Christmas party is this weekend. My boss keeps making comments like “aidil will be on the prowl!” and “let’s find aidil a hot man!”

Or maybe I just want to get drunk, dance like an idiot and go home to my cosy bed where I can starfish in peace? Hate this expectation that everyone needs a partner and you’re somehow ‘other’ if you don’t have someone by a certain age.

Basically me 24/7:

 

[LaBlonde]

At work yesterday and a new older male colleague (in his 50s) found out I was 40. He said I looked much younger and my usual jokey repsone is that’s probably cos I’m single with no children. He then started asking the usual why are you still single and then started telling me how his daughter found love at 30 and that there’s still time for me At no point had I said I’d wanted to be with someone or was unhappy on my own. Luckily another colleague interjected and said maybe she wants to be alone and then we had a big conversation about how it’s easier to be alone and be hard to live with someone now etc.. But it really bugged me as I know he would not have said that to a male colleague.

it makes me so mad how men are sort of allowed to live happily single, but women must be lacking something or sad or missing out. so many people in my workplace have made similar comments to me (as well as in my family and even on tattle sometimes tbh). on the flip side, it’s always interesting to me how people will say to my face that they think me being long-term single is fun and independent, but then immediately tell on themselves with comments they make in other conversations or about other people, and i’m like well what do you actually think or is is okay to make catty comments about people not being able to get shags find a man etc but it’s different when it’s you, idk.

people seem to think that i must desperately want a relationship and cannot find one, which isn’t necessarily untrue as such, but i hate the pity and the condescension of it all. it’s absolutely infuriating how people think it completely invalidates your life.

like @aidil says above i also hate the expectation that every time i go out i am just on the constant lookout for a man or a bag or something. god forbid i just want to dance, talk to my friends and drink a few cocktails

 

[Boogs]

Men are bachelors and silver foxes. Women are spinsters who are lonely and missing out on having a baby.

Compare how George Clooney was reported about before he got married to how Jennifer Aniston was.

 

[petitspois]

I know of a few couples who have lasted and seem to genuinely have a great relationship. That must be a lovely feeling - having a partner in life - but, in my opinion, that's extremely unusual. I just don't think women get much out of living with a man these days. So many of them expect to be mothered and looked after without pulling their weight that many women are thinking twice. The financial support of a man isn't needed as much so why live with a sweaty man child who leaves drips of pee on the floor and expects sex and affection when he's done absolutely sod all?

I really can't see me ever living with a man again. I've been single for so long I'm quite happy on my own.

 

[Zulkraa]

 

[Tell.A.Tale]

I’m happily single AND having a baby on my own (by choice). I get a LOT of pity even though this was an active decision and was the result of some clever doctors not a one night stand.

So many people feel sorry for me and I literally look at them and laugh to myself because my god they really don’t sell the married with kids thing to me. Most of them hate each other. Yeah - I’ll raise a child on my own so financially I’ll struggle in comparison but in terms of general well being and happiness I am certain I’ll be better off doing it solo.
No one to resent for not pulling their weight.
No one I have to consult on decisions.
No one I have pretend to be interested in what happened during their day.
No one I have to shave my legs for.
No one else to consider but myself and my child
No one I want to kill for breathing too loudly next to me.
No one else’s washing or skid marks to deal with.
Just me, the baby and the cat and it’s going to be bliss compared to 90% of marriages I see these days.

 

[kendallroysdownfall]

Been in relationships and been extatically happy and utterly miserable in them. Been married, have a child.

There is NOTHING I miss, absolutely nothing. I have friends, I have family, I have company when I choose to have it.

Job is stressful and it's good to come home in a bad mood and to be able to work through it on my own without anyone pissing me off more.

Doing exactly what I want to do when I want to do it.

Complete financial control.

Full control over all my own life and all my decisions without having to factor someone else in.

I live in my own world and in my own head anyway - a bit Ally McBeal-ish. I find being around people exhausting. I like my own company. I get occasional dark times (always have had off and on, even when happy in a relationship) and I much prefer to work through them on my own.

 

[hehehe]

omg Linda! finally someone's spoken the thoughts that I've been unable to articulate my entire adult life!!!
---

Last night while watching TV, I had a brief thought that I'd like a partner to bring me snacks and drinks while I sat down, but then I realised that I actually want to win the euromillions on Friday and have a housekeeper and personal chef.

Energy on

 

[Nurseali]

I do not miss the sound of cereal being eaten at 9.30pm.
If I was ever gonna murder someone Kellogs cornflakes and an gob that didn't shut when eating would have been my reason.

 

[Sideboard Bob]

I have to admit, right now I’m “man free by choice”. I’m bi, and wouldn’t mind having a girlfriend one day.

 

[Lalla]

I do not miss the sound of cereal being eaten at 9.30pm.
If I was ever gonna murder someone Kellogs cornflakes and an gob that didn't shut when eating would have been my reason.

Those things are like death by a thousand cuts.
My Ex and I used to joke about the little things that irritate you about each other, which over a long relationship just get more and more annoying...you either have to learn to ignore them or get to 80 and end up beating your spouse to death with a rolling pin (or other kitchen utensil of choice) at the breakfast table because you just CANNOT listen to them chew loudly/ stir their tea repeatedly/ scrape the spoon in their cereal bowl one more time