Whenever my friends would do this (I'm talking analysing texts, analysing the way he said hello - tit you not) I would ask them if they thought he was analysing it like she was. The answer was always no.Happy singles days you absolute treats!
My bestie (who is normally fiercely independent) came over to mine last night freaking out over a guy she’s slept with once who she’s now mooning over. She was like a completely different person. It was so wild to me that someone who I’ve always looked up to as the ultimate independent woman was now fretting over her appearance and the way she types messages, constantly checking her phone to see if he’s online. She’s also stopped eating meals and is living on shakes. Apparently this has nothing to do with pining for the guy who’s “too good looking” for her and is just a coincidence
Never been happier to be single!
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I hope that she'll find her self confidence back. There is nothing easier to manipulate than a woman with low self esteem.Happy singles days you absolute treats!
My bestie (who is normally fiercely independent) came over to mine last night freaking out over a guy she’s slept with once who she’s now mooning over. She was like a completely different person. It was so wild to me that someone who I’ve always looked up to as the ultimate independent woman was now fretting over her appearance and the way she types messages, constantly checking her phone to see if he’s online. She’s also stopped eating meals and is living on shakes. Apparently this has nothing to do with pining for the guy who’s “too good looking” for her and is just a coincidence
Never been happier to be single!
Wow - he must have been bloody good! Seriously though, no man is THAT good (and they're never as good as they think they are).Happy singles days you absolute treats!
My bestie (who is normally fiercely independent) came over to mine last night freaking out over a guy she’s slept with once who she’s now mooning over. She was like a completely different person. It was so wild to me that someone who I’ve always looked up to as the ultimate independent woman was now fretting over her appearance and the way she types messages, constantly checking her phone to see if he’s online. She’s also stopped eating meals and is living on shakes. Apparently this has nothing to do with pining for the guy who’s “too good looking” for her and is just a coincidence
Never been happier to be single!
That is SUCH a good way of putting it @shadowcat5 
In fact, I’m going to message her that now cos she’s just got in touch questioning why he’s taken two hours to respond to her 
He sounds like such a waster, he’s a divorced weekend dad who’s currently sleeping in a bunk bed at his mum’s. And he couldn’t even keep it up when they slept together
She’s a super accomplished career woman with her own home and so much going for her! It’s crazy to see her turn to mush over this loser just because he’s given her some attention!
WOMEN! DO BETTER!
In fact, I’m going to message her that now cos she’s just got in touch questioning why he’s taken two hours to respond to her He sounds like such a waster, he’s a divorced weekend dad who’s currently sleeping in a bunk bed at his mum’s. And he couldn’t even keep it up when they slept together
She’s a super accomplished career woman with her own home and so much going for her! It’s crazy to see her turn to mush over this loser just because he’s given her some attention!WOMEN! DO BETTER!
I'm not going to lie I was always jealous of other girls when I was younger. Everyone always had boyfriends and would instantly be able to replace them. No one ever wanted to commit to me for some reason. I was always friendzoned/FWBzoned. Maybe because they would wear make up, kiss men's ass, and settle for less? Idk. Regardless I'm sick of putting in so much effort when men doing nothing at all.
I’m embarrassed to admit I’ve been where your friend isHappy singles days you absolute treats!
My bestie (who is normally fiercely independent) came over to mine last night freaking out over a guy she’s slept with once who she’s now mooning over. She was like a completely different person. It was so wild to me that someone who I’ve always looked up to as the ultimate independent woman was now fretting over her appearance and the way she types messages, constantly checking her phone to see if he’s online. She’s also stopped eating meals and is living on shakes. Apparently this has nothing to do with pining for the guy who’s “too good looking” for her and is just a coincidence
Never been happier to be single!
I used to spend a lot of time worrying what they thought of me and the idea that I might not be into who they really were didn't even enter my mind. Hopefully that side of me is dead and buried now.Me too. Then you get a bit of space from them and realise they are just a bloke, and wonder why you were wasting that time worryingI’m embarrassed to admit I’ve been where your friend is
Wow he sounds like a catch (not)That is SUCH a good way of putting it @shadowcat5
He sounds like such a waster, he’s a divorced weekend dad who’s currently sleeping in a bunk bed at his mum’s. And he couldn’t even keep it up when they slept together
WOMEN! DO BETTER!
I've been wanting to post here for ages. I've been reading all your posts and just want to say I envy you all. I'm coming up to six years in my relationship and have been deeply unhappy for nearly a year - things really came to a head when we moved in together last year. I feel like I've had almost an awakening of sorts - realising things about myself, like how I've been in awful, toxic relationships back to back for years and that I can pretty much attribute it to trauma/not knowing my worth. Realising that most men have little to no basic life skills and are basically just looking for a second mum.
I can't believe some of the tit I've put up with over the years from men - cheating, lying, emotional and verbal abuse etc etc. The relationship I'm in is marginally better and there have definitely been good times but at the moment I am unhappy and find myself longing to be alone, have my own place, my freedom, noone to clean up after (or complain about things like dirty baseboards etc without ever so much as attempting to do anything about it themselves), to travel and not be tied down, and just the space to really work on myself, mentally, emotionally, physically. I have zero savings at the moment and can't afford my own place so I'm stuck for now...
Also I can so relate to the friends who seem to have had complete lobotomies over men. One of my friends has been with her boyfriend for around 3 years now? She got pregnant last year (it was an unplanned pregnancy) and then moved to the city he lives in, "they" bought a house (rather, HE bought the house off a family member - as far as I'm aware her name isn't even on the mortgage, she gave some weird excuse about how they wanted to keep the house in the family, so she's essentially renting from him even though she's the mother of his child?) all within a matter of months. She doesn't know anyone there except for his friends and family and often admits how lonely she feels. I don't see him giving up his life for her. Another friend has been seeing someone for a few months and while I've met him and he seems nice enough, he's so wishy-washy and won't say they're girlfriend and boyfriend even though they are? It's made her feel really tit and insecure. Also I've noticed that she's started to take on his interests - e.g., he's a photographer and now she's suddenly "into photography" too and posting all these artsy photos on Instagram. Lol. Just be yourself!! All of this to say that I've found myself questioning WHY it's so normalised to accept this for ourselves, why we give up so much of ourselves and our lives for men, the same creatures who usually can't even be arsed to wipe away their skid marks in the toilet.
Sorry for this massive incoherent rant and sorry to hijack this thread when I'm not actually single lol - been thinking about all of this a lot lately. I could go on and on but I'll spare you all
Keep being your fabulous selves
I can't believe some of the tit I've put up with over the years from men - cheating, lying, emotional and verbal abuse etc etc. The relationship I'm in is marginally better and there have definitely been good times but at the moment I am unhappy and find myself longing to be alone, have my own place, my freedom, noone to clean up after (or complain about things like dirty baseboards etc without ever so much as attempting to do anything about it themselves), to travel and not be tied down, and just the space to really work on myself, mentally, emotionally, physically. I have zero savings at the moment and can't afford my own place so I'm stuck for now...
Also I can so relate to the friends who seem to have had complete lobotomies over men. One of my friends has been with her boyfriend for around 3 years now? She got pregnant last year (it was an unplanned pregnancy) and then moved to the city he lives in, "they" bought a house (rather, HE bought the house off a family member - as far as I'm aware her name isn't even on the mortgage, she gave some weird excuse about how they wanted to keep the house in the family, so she's essentially renting from him even though she's the mother of his child?) all within a matter of months. She doesn't know anyone there except for his friends and family and often admits how lonely she feels. I don't see him giving up his life for her. Another friend has been seeing someone for a few months and while I've met him and he seems nice enough, he's so wishy-washy and won't say they're girlfriend and boyfriend even though they are? It's made her feel really tit and insecure. Also I've noticed that she's started to take on his interests - e.g., he's a photographer and now she's suddenly "into photography" too and posting all these artsy photos on Instagram. Lol. Just be yourself!! All of this to say that I've found myself questioning WHY it's so normalised to accept this for ourselves, why we give up so much of ourselves and our lives for men, the same creatures who usually can't even be arsed to wipe away their skid marks in the toilet.
Sorry for this massive incoherent rant and sorry to hijack this thread when I'm not actually single lol - been thinking about all of this a lot lately. I could go on and on but I'll spare you all
Keep being your fabulous selves
@Lola Ruby I can remember feeling like you when in relationships. It's like your soul is being drained. Anyways it's a new year soon and you can always build yourself up, make plans towards having the life of peace you want in time, not tomorrow...just know it's a choice and it's definitely possible. You sound amazing.
I feel a bit embarrassed ha but I have legit tears in my eyes. I haven't talked to anyone about this except for a select few friends and so keep a lot of this in most of the time. Thank you so much for your kind comments. Gives me hope
I don't know if they even exist now but when my marriage broke up (instigated by me) I went to live in a room in a shared house. I absolutely loved it. Then into a bedsit with this adorable partition kitchen/shared bathroom. Honestly it was tough at times but I never regretted giving up my "security" which actually felt like a trap.
@Lola Ruby ((hugs))
@Lola Ruby ((hugs))
Exactly. They don’t have diamonds for balls.
Ah, rant away, that's what this board is for!I've been wanting to post here for ages. I've been reading all your posts and just want to say I envy you all. I'm coming up to six years in my relationship and have been deeply unhappy for nearly a year - things really came to a head when we moved in together last year. I feel like I've had almost an awakening of sorts - realising things about myself, like how I've been in awful, toxic relationships back to back for years and that I can pretty much attribute it to trauma/not knowing my worth. Realising that most men have little to no basic life skills and are basically just looking for a second mum.
I can't believe some of the tit I've put up with over the years from men - cheating, lying, emotional and verbal abuse etc etc. The relationship I'm in is marginally better and there have definitely been good times but at the moment I am unhappy and find myself longing to be alone, have my own place, my freedom, noone to clean up after (or complain about things like dirty baseboards etc without ever so much as attempting to do anything about it themselves), to travel and not be tied down, and just the space to really work on myself, mentally, emotionally, physically. I have zero savings at the moment and can't afford my own place so I'm stuck for now...
Also I can so relate to the friends who seem to have had complete lobotomies over men. One of my friends has been with her boyfriend for around 3 years now? She got pregnant last year (it was an unplanned pregnancy) and then moved to the city he lives in, "they" bought a house (rather, HE bought the house off a family member - as far as I'm aware her name isn't even on the mortgage, she gave some weird excuse about how they wanted to keep the house in the family, so she's essentially renting from him even though she's the mother of his child?) all within a matter of months. She doesn't know anyone there except for his friends and family and often admits how lonely she feels. I don't see him giving up his life for her. Another friend has been seeing someone for a few months and while I've met him and he seems nice enough, he's so wishy-washy and won't say they're girlfriend and boyfriend even though they are? It's made her feel really tit and insecure. Also I've noticed that she's started to take on his interests - e.g., he's a photographer and now she's suddenly "into photography" too and posting all these artsy photos on Instagram. Lol. Just be yourself!! All of this to say that I've found myself questioning WHY it's so normalised to accept this for ourselves, why we give up so much of ourselves and our lives for men, the same creatures who usually can't even be arsed to wipe away their skid marks in the toilet.
Sorry for this massive incoherent rant and sorry to hijack this thread when I'm not actually single lol - been thinking about all of this a lot lately. I could go on and on but I'll spare you all
Keep being your fabulous selves
I really sympathise with your past experiences. I've dated, but been single for 7 years and having a grand old time - everything is always where I left it and the loo seat is always down! It's been so long that my mum even asked me if I was a lesbian. I'm not against a relationship with a man, but I've not yet come across a fool that was worth sacrificing my space and my sanity for. My last boyfriend gaslighted me, the one before was into creepy sex stuff, the one before that was into violating my boundaries and ended up shagging someone else anyway, one before that dumped me over text when we were due to have lunch the next day (coward), one before that was jealous and emotionally abusive... Nah mum, I've just had it up to here!
I've met far too many women like your friend who've given up everything and are miserable but don't seem to see it. As @Fledgling Psycho says it's a new year soon and you can always build towards what you want - it's never too late to start making positive changes. A big step is having the self-awareness that you need something to change
PS) I'm also having the best sex of my life now (with a man!) but that's something my mum doesn't need to know
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And helping out in a small way an over populated planetWe are all amazing!!
Single & Free. Yippee
I wish I could put this quote on my front door.
Every time I've left a relationship was because my well being or quality of life went down with a man.
Yet, some acquaintances would challenge me with the usual "But what if". As if being a single women with healthy boundaries and standards was a problem.
next time one of your married / in a relationship friends starts on about time with partner and needing to do this etc. slightly changed the words and replace partner with cat. See their response when you say Oh I need to clean the cats things, cook for my cat, so can’t meet up today . They will say oh that’s so sad having to do all that for a cat, reply and smile with yeah imagine doing all that for a fully capable adult
I have to say it's the women I judge in this scenario (unless it's a case of domestic abuse where the man is coercing her into being this way, that's different obviously). The women I know who are like this get upset when they have kids and the man still wants to go to his sports club or whatever on Saturdays because weekends are supposed to be 'family time', as though just because they've given up their whole identity to be mothers the man is somehow in the wrong for not wanting to do the same. Unless they're going out having fun all weekend and then coming home and moaning that their wife hasn't cleaned and cooked for them, IMO the men just have healthy boundaries, and women would often benefit from being more like that.
My parents were marathon runners when they were younger, and ever since I can remember both of them (separately) spent several hours a week out of the house training, often leaving me home alone once I was old enough. I can't say it ever did me any harm - the opposite if anything, I think it set a really good example of how just because you're in a relationship or nuclear family doesn't mean you have to do everything together and sacrifice all your outside interests. We did plenty of stuff together too, just not every single hour of the day. When you see the way some women are it's no wonder their kids grow up thinking the only thing that matters is getting married and having children of their own, and if they get to 35 without having done either it means their life is a complete failure.
i 100% agree and I wasn’t blaming either party. I think it’s just more the done thing that women seem to give up everything yet men don’t seem to? In relationships and with kids, it’s always the women who seem to do the sacrificing
Grrr there were about three of "those" couples clogging up the aisles of my local Co-op just now. Dithering & discussing what they should buy. Can't shop alone even! 
Love this thread. Have never been able to express my non envy of gruesome twosome syndrome anywhere.
@aidil Thing is he ends up wasting your precious time by proxy. I'm ashamed to think of friends I put through this nonsense.
Love this thread. Have never been able to express my non envy of gruesome twosome syndrome anywhere.I think it's called Illusory Golden fool virus.
@aidil Thing is he ends up wasting your precious time by proxy. I'm ashamed to think of friends I put through this nonsense.
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