Single by Choice

[btw]

Does anyone else have any single friends who can't seem to function without male attention and find it hard to deal with them? I have a few recently single friends and they've all jumped straight on the apps and spend hours talking to any and every man they find, I have no idea how they do it and it's very hard to not judge them for being so lost without men talking to them...

Yup. Every time we went out, the focus would be on her finding some new lad in the club to speak to. She’d have failed ‘talking’ stages and I’d have to constantly be there for her as she’d really let it affect her confidence. I felt really sad for her tbh. Her whole self worth depended upon a man showing her attention and often once they got what they wanted from her they’d move on leaving her devastated.
She’s now in a relationship and because her self worth depends on men, she’s completely obsessed with him so we don’t see eachother much anymore. I tried to say to her a man should add to your life , not be your life. But as long as she’s happy now who am I to comment

 

[Wolfshead]

Yup. Every time we went out, the focus would be on her finding some new lad in the club to speak to. She’d have failed ‘talking’ stages and I’d have to constantly be there for her as she’d really let it affect her confidence. I felt really sad for her tbh. Her whole self worth depended upon a man showing her attention and often once they got what they wanted from her they’d move on leaving her devastated.
She’s now in a relationship and because her self worth depends on men, she’s completely obsessed with him so we don’t see eachother much anymore. I tried to say to her a man should add to your life , not be your life. But as long as she’s happy now who am I to comment

I do feel sorry for women like that - especially when I see it in young women. I think many of us were brought up to think we need male approval. Some of us manage to recognise it and/or grow out of it but it makes me sad to see how some young women are still brainwashed into this mindset. I'm glad your friend is happy now anyway.

 

[Gym&Tonic]

I know a lot of women who just can’t be single and jump from one relationship to another. A member of my extended family is like this. One relationship ends and she’s in another within a few short months, she’s in her 40’s now and has been like this since she was a teen. In the beginning they are always ‘the one’ and they move in together quickly until they inevitably reveal themselves to be abusive mats and wastes of space and then the sorry cycle repeats itself. It’s like she can’t exist without a man in her life.

 

[freaknasty]

My friend’s boyfriend cheated on her and she got back with him and got pregnant… rather her than me now I’ll have to hear all about it when he inevitably cheats again and have to resist the urge to say I told you so.

 

[Anne1448]

This mentality of "I need a man" is prevalent in so many cultures across the globe.

Which is strange when you think about the freedom and quality of life that so many women are able to enjoy.

The double shift that married women have to go through is so not appealing to me.

 

[FilthyGorgeous]

Anybody else find that a lot of women with partners or married women have a weird interest in your love life? Like it’s one of the first things they want to know I’d never think to say “how’s the marriage”

 

[Gym&Tonic]

What about those joined at the hip couples who do everything together. There is a couple at my gym who attended all the classes together and you never see either of them there on there own. The classes are more aimed at women anyway and he stands out like a sore thumb doing Legs, Bums and Tums or Body Pump or whatever. They must be in their 40’, possibly older, so not in the young sickly love phase. I just find it so odd. My parents weren’t like that, never have been and they’ve been married over 40 years. I’d be so stifled by that. Like why can’t you do anything by yourself? Is it a control thing or maybe a codependency? What happens if something happens to one of them or they break up? My parents next door neighbours were like that and then the husband got cancer and died, the wife doesn’t know how to be without him. duck that for a game of cards!

 

[FilthyGorgeous]

What about those joined at the hip couples who do everything together. There is a couple at my gym who attended all the classes together and you never see either of them there on there own. The classes are more aimed at women anyway and he stands out like a sore thumb doing Legs, Bums and Tums or Body Pump or whatever. They must be in their 40’, possibly older, so not in the young sickly love phase. I just find it so odd. My parents weren’t like that, never have been and they’ve been married over 40 years. I’d be so stifled by that. Like why can’t you do anything by yourself? Is it a control thing or maybe a codependency? What happens if something happens to one of them or they break up? My parents next door neighbours were like that and then the husband got cancer and died, the wife doesn’t know how to be without him. duck that for a game of cards!

I wonder which one cheated

 

[Gym&Tonic]

I wonder which one cheated

I had wondered that. The guy looks very into his fitness. He has that fitness fanatic look. So him being in these classes is especially odd because he looks as though he should be lifting and throwing really heavy stuff in the free weights area not doing press ups and sit ups to an Ed Sheeran megamix with a load of women.

 

[popb1tch]

This mentality of "I need a man" is prevalent in so many cultures across the globe.

Which is strange when you think about the freedom and quality of life that so many women are able to enjoy.

The double shift that married women have to go through is so not appealing to me.

Double shift…that’s it…that’s exactly it…..go to work-work and then come home and do all the home/cooking/kids/family bit

Brilliant phrase…

 

[FilthyGorgeous]

I had wondered that. The guy looks very into his fitness. He has that fitness fanatic look. So him being in these classes is especially odd because he looks as though he should be lifting and throwing really heavy stuff in the free weights area not doing press ups and sit ups to an Ed Sheeran megamix with a load of women.

Prob perving at the women in their leggings

 

[Fledgling Psycho]

COVID permitted walk a day really brought out the codependent couples. Bloody hell you couldn't prise them apart to pass them on the pavement holding hands. I actually had to calm down and not be rude & yell insults at them! I mean COVID really put the "SINGLE" sign on ones forehead.

 

[Remotecontrol]

COVID permitted walk a day really brought out the codependent couples. Bloody hell you couldn't prise them apart to pass them on the pavement holding hands. I actually had to calm down and not be rude & yell insults at them! I mean COVID really put the "SINGLE" sign on ones forehead.

Yes this was a PITA. No worries I’ll just walk into the bloody road while a car comes because you two simply can’t walk single file for two seconds.

So many of them will have lived together too, so they’re spending all day in together and then rejecting the only chance of having time to themselves. Madness.

 

[Fledgling Psycho]

@Remotecontrol Ugh. It's so cloying and claustrophobic. I'm so glad to be single when I think about it. I remember years ago, a woman new to my town, was complaining how she found people unfriendly and lamenting that she had no friends to speak of. I suggested something at our local theatre and straight away she asked if her husband could come too. FFS. No, stay at home & be a cling on!

 

[Squeakycheeks]

I can go one better. I received a photo of this bloke lying on a coffee table, legs in the air with his a cheeks pulled wide apart. I actually laughed at the time because it was ridiculous and quite frankly who the duck would want to see that?! But looking back now it’s all shades of wrong isn’t it? Needles to say it put me right off. I could never look at him the same way funnily enough

I can’t even fathom how that bloke woke up that morning and thought I’ve got a cracking idea here and on a coffee table too

 

[Gym&Tonic]

You see couples like that in the supermarket and at the shops as well. I’ll never forget the time I was in Primark and there was this bloke standing there in the middle of the aisle watching a football match on his phone while his white his wife or girlfriend was rummaging through the rails. Like if you want to watch the football that much stay at home or go to the pub and let your over half go shopping on their own.

 

[Squeakycheeks]

So he was using one hand to spread both cheeks? Or just one cheek? Why am I asking this? 🥲

Love it he’d obviously practiced the hold camera and spread position a lot. So many women in the town must see him about and think aye up, old a spreader is out

 

[Fledgling Psycho]

You see couples like that in the supermarket and at the shops as well. I’ll never forget the time I was in Primark and there was this bloke standing there in the middle of the aisle watching a football match on his phone while his white his wife or girlfriend was rummaging through the rails. Like if you want to watch the football that much stay at home or go to the pub and let your over half go shopping on their own.

Oh yes. Mooching blokes. Hanging around the dressing rooms while the wife comes out for him to approve or disapprove the outfit. I've seen them in Sainsburys TU trailing around behind their wives. I'd be screaming my head off at them to F off and I'll wear what I like!
How can people want to be glued together?

 

[aidil]

I HAVE FOUND MY PEOPLE.

It's like reading my own thoughts going through all your posts. I've been happily single for a few years now after my frankly baggy 20's and I honestly struggle to picture myself in a relationship now. I love having my own apartment, a busy life full of friends and a career I can invest as much time in as I like without someone at home complaining about my absence.

So many of my friends just don't seem to understand my choice and you can see they almost feel sorry for me and think I must be lonely. I'm anything but! I love my own company, I can't imagine living with a man now and not having any time to myself to unwind.

I've never been able to understand women who need a man by their side to feel complete. I've had so many friends that have come out of long term relationships only to jump right back into another within weeks because they can't be alone. One of my close friends is recently single after her husband left her and their one year old son for a woman at work. AND SHE STILL SAYS SHE MISSES HIM?! I have another friend who's been with her husband since they were in school and she has zero idea how to pay bills, what a mortgage is, how to fix a car etc, because her husband does it all. I feel so sorry for them. Imagine putting yourself in a position where you wouldn't be able to survive without a man!

Anyway, it's very reassuring to see so many other women in the same boat as me. Girl power and all that!

 

[aidil]

My boss’ wife popped into work today and was talking about holidays. I was saying how I’ve not been away in years as I can’t afford it with all my bills etc. She looked at me with a sad face and goes “aww do you not have a partner? ”

No and that’s my CHOICE. I’d rather be single and stuck in England than stuck with a moronic man just so I can have a crap package holiday every summer