Single by Choice

[GeminiMoon]

I was a single non driving mum for 4 years, my child has urinary incontinence which her consultant is based in the next city over, and I have an autoimmune disease so I'm regularly in hospital for reviews and check ups and we managed with public transport, taxis and favours from family. It is hard but it is possible.

Thank you Somehow I’ve built it up in my mind…

 

[Meringue22]

Lupins are so colourful. I wish they took better care of the plants in B&M, so many of them were drier than the Sahara desert!

I only ever buy from there if they look healthy. It’s horrible when you see them all dried out and dead!

 

[Zenchick101]

So a former pornstar or escort can't get the job done? Being a straight woman is just the pits of despair, isnt it?

former SW at one point and yes he's doing everything hypothetically right, and yet still no finish line.

 

[Fledgling Psycho]

@Chocolategoggler Thanks

 

[Tell.A.Tale]

The first day to day things that I don't miss that come to mind....

1. No putting up with a stinking toilet or drips or pee on the seat or floor
2. No big baby stuff when they are ill
3. No need to coo and nod when they talk, at considerable length, about their strava/bike/run/swim etc..
4. No need to feel like you should have sex when you're not 100% keen
5. Can suit yourself with meals, holidays and house decor
6. No need to deal with in laws
7. No need to feel obliged to tidy up after them and bear the mental load of organising them and their lives

No 7 is absolutely what I miss the least…

 

[peachesandcreamz]

I’ve heard a lot about that! Decided to get the other one as it was the cheaper option. But often wondered if the one you have is better!

Life. Changing!

 

[Quattro formaggi]

I haven't read all the posts on here for a while but just wanted to see if anyone else feels like I do. I've been single most my life, had the odd short term relationship and every time they ended i have been relieved. I'm trying to get back into the dating game and met someone really nice, due to meet up in a few weeks time as I'm away before then. However I just feel so sad and anxious all the time now. I am very happy with being single, I have friends, I have family but feel like I "should be" settling down now, hence trying to date. Is it normal to feel so horrible at the thought of dating and being in a relationship? I have my own flat, a good social life and love going on holidays, I have pretty much no interest in being in a relationship other than the fact I have a wedding to go to in a few years time and I know i should go with someone or risk being the odd one out again. Don't know why I'm posting this, I just feel so lost now whereas a few weeks ago I was my normal happy self!
Also to add, this guy seems very sweet, genuine and not your typical tinder type, I'm just constantly waiting for him to cancel our date so I don't have to or if it goes well later down the line I know I'm going to be stuck
Ps I'm fully aware I probably need therapy to deal with all this instead of tattle

It’s been awhile I just wondered how this worked out?

 

[AshMay]

yep. almost every poly relationship i’ve seen in life involves one man and multiple women. i feel like a woman with more than one boyfriend is incredibly rare (based on no evidence other than my own observations )

True, in the poly couples I know, the women are bi and they mainly date women. I always wonder how the dynamic would change with their male primary partners if they dated men as well!

Idk how the couples who live together do it either, with logistics of who stays where when someone wants another partner staying over

 

[L3moning]

do men ever get asked?

I have been occasionally.

The only person who I have adjacent conversations with regularly though is my dad's aunt, who's in her 80s and has never married either, so it would be a bit hypocritical for her to complain about it.

 

[Here for gossip]

You absolutely can post here, but I’m not sure how useful it will be. The dating thread is very active and they’ve seen every trick in the book!

Didn't see the dating thread on this will have a look for it

 

[LaBlonde]

I can go one better. I received a photo of this bloke lying on a coffee table, legs in the air with his arse cheeks pulled wide apart. I actually laughed at the time because it was ridiculous and quite frankly who the fuck would want to see that?! But looking back now it’s all shades of wrong isn’t it? Needles to say it put me right off. I could never look at him the same way funnily enough

i am intrigued as to how he took this photo?!! or if he got one of his friends to take it

like you say, how are you meant to react to that? it would be all i could see whenever i looked at him!

 

[Sideboard Bob]

I’m so sorry you received such poor care. What a ridiculous notion - all this does is perpetuate the MYTH that children / marriage is a bed of roses. I hope you get the care you need!

Oh that’s a good point! That kind of attitude is really insulting to married people too.

 

[LaBlonde]

I just want to say quickly, I wasn't insinuating neurodiverse = ace. It was more that I was wondering as I compartmentalise everything so I wasn't sure if my splitting up of attraction was an asexual/ace thing or my autistic brain lol!

ETA: or both, or neither... you catch my drift

oh dw! i think it’s a valid comparison to make in all honesty, i’ve certainly found that my ocd directly or indirectly influences it

 

[petitspois]

Oh I’ll take a look at that podcast, thank you.

 

[shadowcat5]

i think you said earlier that you identify with being demi too? (sorry if this wasn’t you ) but THIS exactly. i cannot feel an instant attraction to anyone really, i have to have some degree of feeling of what they’re like as a person and some level of slow build before i even consider it. meeting in bars doesn’t work for me and i’m not sure if i would/will ever meet a man who will go at the glacial pace i need. maybe one day!

i always like speaking to other demisexual people. it’s still so new and it’s valuable to know it’s not just me

im really glad we can have conversations like this. I still haven’t quite figured out what I am (im on the asexual spectrum somewhere) but hearing people talk really helps with that and making me feel like I’m normal.

maybe this is down to being autistic or whether it’s a sexuality thing or both, so I am eager to know if this is a thing other people experience on here and where better to ask I guess

i can recognise sexual attraction vs romantic attraction vs I just find you aesthetically very pleasing but that’s where it ends. I’ve never done research on it so I don’t know but I’m wondering if other people feel this way

 

[Zulkraa]

Will this thread get shut down if we recommend our love honey (other shops available) purchases Because everyone needs to know about the satisfyer 2

I’m all about the Lelo toys these days

 

[Olgivy]

I got a Lupin from B&M yesterday and today I got another lovely plant from Asda. I forget the name of that one though

Lupins are so colourful. I wish they took better care of the plants in B&M, so many of them were drier than the Sahara desert!

 

[FrostyChops]

My nobhead cat was supposed to be a girl but the vet assured me she was a boy. She has a very feminine name and I use female pronouns.

Until he shits on my floor then I use male pronouns oddly.

One of mine pushed my vase of flowers off the mantle, smashed glass and water everywhere. I should have known she would do that, she can't help herself..!

 

[kendallroysdownfall]

My instagram algorithm is so good that I’ve not seen one single heartfelt earnest Valentines post. Every suggested post is either a piss take or something nice about self-love/soulmate friends. Love that for me

You are a legend!

 

[kendallroysdownfall]

Also, a question for all of you - how do you deal with being touch starved? All I want is to be held sometimes.

I don't feel this way at all and I always enjoyed physical affection in relationships.