Happy Valentine’s Day, singles!
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I’m on a solo holiday and having the BEST time! I fly home tomorrow, sob. But I’ve had such a fun day, just doing all the activities I want to do, a really perfect day filled with love and gratitude for my body in particular — it enabled me to walk 30 thousand steps today and still feel good and strong as I wind down for bed.
Glad you are having a wonderful time on holiday. Solo holidays are next on my list. And 30K steps?
That puts my 12K today to shame.
I have had a lovely day of solitude, and I am currently eating chocolate in bed and watching Netflix. I do not envy women who are in relationships at all. The thought of having a mediocre man siphoning off my energy (emotional, physical, sexual etc) for his personal gain actually makes me recoil at this point.
Dating apps? I will not degrade myself by setting up a profile ever again. The type of man I would allow into my life is rare. He would be a unicorn. He would also have to be actively examining his patriarchal biases and white supremacist attitudes—they go hand in hand. If he has no interest in doing this, then he is NOT safe to be in a romantic relationship with. I also have no interest in splitting bills with a man. If he wants me, he pays for everything or he finds someone else. How likely is it, that this man will land on my doorstep? Because I sure as hell won’t search for him. Most men think personal development is going to the gym. Most men think that by giving you a few cheap compliments, and telling you that they would never do this or never do that is enough to win you over. Most men want a LOT of access to you, quickly, without having to earn you. And a lot of women are happy to oblige (I used to be one of them).
But I’ve evolved. I don’t give my energy to any man anymore. I don’t even smile at them in the street—we all know they see that as a green light. I keep my gaze straight ahead and keep it moving. What I have to offer—my heart, mind and body is sacred, and I will not give it away for nothing. My philosophy is working really well for me, because my life is getting better and better for it. It’s OK to realise your standards are not of this world, and you ain’t for the streets anymore. You will get pushback from people, mainly from other women, because being this way shines a light on their choices. They want to believe in the fairytale, that a man will complete them. They willingly wound themselves, over and over again and want you to do the same. Because without the delusion, what do they have?
I don’t miss sex. Affection or any of that. I don’t get lonely, I’m too busy creating a life I love. Why long for something out of your control? That will definitely cause loneliness. I came into this world as a solitary soul, and will leave this world as a solitary soul. Everything I need is within me.
Solitude has given me a renewed sense of personal strength, and creativity. Joy feels easier to achieve. Self acceptance is easier, when you are not constantly worried about whether you are physically attractive to a man. Everything is just easier alone.
The value I place on myself, means that I’m not sure I’ll ever share my body with a man again. And I’m only in my thirties. Do I worry about dying alone? I worry about dying having never lived for myself. I have an aggressive investing plan, to ensure that I can be well taken care of in sickness and old age. Most men leave their wives when they get sick anyway.
In true Olgivy fashion, this is turning into a dissertation. Sending love to all of you on this day. May your heart be full of wonder and hope for your future, and may you all find your inner “wild woman” and be happy. She is waiting for you. Happy Valentines Day. 🩷
Who would I spend time with, eat at restaurants with, travel with? ME! I love my own company, and I got to do what I wanted, when I wanted! I tried lobster for the first time, went to some of the same shops multiple times (without annoying anyone else), got lots of uninterrupted sleep.
