Simon Harris #7 Twagic

[Pkershaw]

Good Lord, he’s posting about public toilets AGAIN!!! This obsession is truly weird. We’ve moved on from observational zingers about hand dryers and amusing toilet roll holders that look like faces. Now it’s the chain you use to flush the toilet. What sort of weirdo even registers this stuff?

Like any normal person, I actively try to avoid public toilets as a matter of principle unless it’s absolutely essential. He seems to seek them out. I’ve never known anyone use them as much as he does, let alone tell everyone about it on social media. Does he even have a toilet in his own house? Or does he just get excited every time he’s spots a sign for the gents because it’s his content cweation goldmine?

 

[Pkershaw]

Not his joke and years old.
Every now and then on Facebook some page posts some of his shit re lifeboats or fundraising. I post the links and breakdown of his and Kirsty fraud. I enjoy my work .

Oh absolutely. Never, ever let him forget. For that is what he should always be famous for, for the rest of time.

People on social media who aren’t all that into politics and just check-in every now and then to see how Auntie Nora’s doing, should always see his stupid, fat, hairy meathead pop up, and instantly think, “ohhh that’s the con artist who charged £15k for 189 followers.”

I still chuckle that he made a big show about joining Bluesky because X was so evil and he was one of the good guys, and he had to bin it within a week because every one of his posts got spammed with links to his grifting. Glorious

 

[Blue bunny]

Posting, and boosting a pic of his kid while complaing about being too poor for his kid to partake in wbd, while asking people to give him £50 in octopus referral money, is just low.

 

[Aliceboo]

He's going to have to get a proper job soon. A few likes on Facebook won't pay the bills.

Nobody in social media will touch him, not just for what happened, but his responses since. If he'd just said that he was on overpaid but when someone is waving a massive amount of money at you, you would be a fool not to take it.

Anything but him doubling down that he singlehandedly cured covid or whatever with a stupid post.

 

[Also_smoke_and_mirrors]

He just digs a bigger hole. He's now just coming across like Schofield did when he referenced Caroline flack and demanded "is that what you want?"

ETA he doesn't even care about children in need have been left without the support they need. Even though he has a child who would be included in that demographic. Maybe that's what we should be telling your *checks notes- but doesn't really need to because he never stops mentioning it* autistic son

 

[Pkershaw]

He's back on twitter....

This could be interesting.

He was no doubt expecting his gushing supporters to celebrate the glorious homecoming of the prodigal prat, and it’s going swimmingly so far. 123 followers and a total of 2 likes. Or £15,000 worth of content in Simon Money.

Martin Lewis was sat having breakfast with his wife this morning, scrolling through his phone, when suddenly his face went white as a sheet. His coffee slipped from his hand, the mug smashing on the tiled floor.
“What’s wrong?!” asked Mrs. Lewis.
“He’s back,” he whispered with a look of dread. “HE’S BACK!!!! ”

One thing that I find interesting is that he has his old username back. So that presumably means he never lost access to it. So it was him running that weird weather account? God he’s so strange.

 

[skybluepat]

I'm sure it'll get plenty of views organically without a Tattle effect

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Television personality is doing a lot of heavy lifting there

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I love that Simon’s big moment to reveal the truth came in an appearance on a podcast touted as “delving into true crime”

 

[Bread]

It genuinely has taken me a while to figure out that he's making a joke. I couldn't make sense of that post at all.

When he's trying to be original, you truly see him - that and when he loses his temper. His complete lack of talent is mortifying.

 

[Fred Santos]

According to this week's Private Eye, "Trylife" the company led by one of Kirsty O'Callaghan's mates, Nicky Kaur, and part of the Kirsty/Simon cabal, who used to go (maybe they still do?) with the both of them to Clairidges in London, was given £330,000 by Kirsty when she was at Essex County Council.

£330,000!!!

Once the whole social media spend was uncovered, this little arrangement was not disclosed in the council's initial "fully transparent" disclosure but now it has been and, evidently, the council are taking legal action to recover £100,000 of it.

You couldn't make it up.

 

[Yer_wha?!]

I'd love to know if he gets any 'gifts' paying to share these shit jokes.

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What the fuck is he even on about??

 

[Pkershaw]

JUST
SCROLL
PAST

This is a common attack line used by him and his moron followers. Posts they don’t agree with, are always greeted with “just ignore it then” or “and yet here you are commenting”. The irony is totally lost on these idiots that they’re telling you to ignore posts you don’t like by commenting on a post that they don’t like.

If I don’t like it when some halfwit councillor wastes thousands of pounds repainting a zebra crossing as a pride flag, then I should ignore it and scroll past. But if Simon sees a comment on that post that he doesn’t like, he can write a 2,000 word overwrought, unfunny rant about how I should shut up. That’s just how it works

 

[anniemouse]

Simon’s legal adviser

 

[HotesTilaire]

Simon, newsflash. Everyone hates you and is slagging you off in public spaces. It’s called free speech.

 

[Droosie123]

Yup amd United in Kind does some pretty good work, my son now has social life thanks to the funding and support they provided to a group which to set up a social club for autistic adults. Fa5 more than anything Si has done.

 

[BeautifulTrauma]

Simon is in his element, he’s had 4.2k likes going for low hanging fruit about the potential loss of the motability scheme.

He really is a leech, anything for a few likes. He’ll take whatever side he needs to to be self righteous.

 

[Mr Krabs]

I actually didn’t know Simon had a wiki. Hi new users. You can learn more about Simon here: https://tattle.life/wiki/simon-harris-man-behaving-dadly/

 

[Pkershaw]

He’s employing the common Simon Harris smoke and mirrors tactic of finding the smallest crumb of evidence in his favour, or the smallest technicality in someone’s criticism, overstating its importance, and stretching its relevance further than the Lycra in his Coca-Cola T-shirt.

It’s like how, whenever value for money is ever mentioned, he will, without fail, bring up that original ECC report that apparently implied his work was value for money. What he won’t tell you is that, that report only ever looked at the Essex Coronavirus Action group during the peak of Covid. A small fraction of the work he was handsomely paid to do. But that doesn’t matter. If he casually throws it in, then it implies that Essex is Smoke Free, and Essex is Green, and Essex is Friendly and Happy and Sneezy and Dopey etc etc, we’re all assessed and considered value for money. When in reality, they were separate things, and the report he’s referring to never looked at those, or the tens of thousands of pounds we paid for them in exchange for 200 followers and 3 likes on every post. He probably thinks his fucking tea towel printing empire was a success because of that report.

As far he’s concerned, it’s entirely unfair to even mention contracts because he had 25 of them!!! Twenty five!!! That’s a lot of contracts. The fact that they only covered 60% of the money he was paid is irrelevant. Ignore that. THERE WERE TWENTY FIVE CONTRACTS, PEOPLE!!!

 

[Pkershaw]

Look at all of you's mocking Simon for his poor engagement stats. What you don't know is that Simon was driving down a dual carriage way this morning. There was a traffic jam on the other side of the road so he opened this tweet and held his phone out of the window as he drove past. All those drivers saw it, so they count, and the impression figures are massive. Checkmate to Simon, stick that in your pipe and smoke it.

 

[Jelly Bean]

I reckon if Omid Djalili put on a few pounds and wore a too tight coke T-shirt he’d be perfect.

They’re also both unfunny so it’s a perfect fit!

Or disgraced opera singer Wynne Jones? He always looks sweaty and unshaven too. And appears to be a desperate attention seeker so shouldn't be too much of a stretch for him.

 

[Jelly Bean]

oh god he's getting the band back together ... the band being ... Southend News Network

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Spoiler: spoilering cos if you're not careful, your sides will split

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Oh fuck not the Sports Direct mug 'joke'.
Genuinely what is wrong with him?