Thread to discuss the site Seeking Arrangement.
- Status
New to Tattle Life? Click "Order Thread by Most Liked Posts" button below to get an idea of what the site is about:
Thanks, Zantezoo. I joined SA last year as I lost my job as a covid redundancy. I want to be honest, I don't sleep around, but if I'm honest, I do sort of find (some) older guys attractive, and I will admit I've had a handful of one night stands. So I heard about SA and it seemed to me, if I liked the guy, and we went to some nice places and I went home with something in my purse, was I really doing anything much more wrong than hooking-up with some loser my own age and ending up in the same place, but minus even my taxi fare home? I'm maybe not explaining this very well, I don't mean I do that every weekend, but I hope others can be honest too and know what I mean and not get on at me.
I'd really love to hear from @leavemealone and from the guys @roundnround and @NotPBW and anyone else who's tried it.
Edit and @L84 x
I'd really love to hear from @leavemealone and from the guys @roundnround and @NotPBW and anyone else who's tried it.
Edit and @L84 x
If you don't mind me asking, @whosthischick, how old are you? I don't mean to sound patronising at all, but I do think it makes a difference between 18, 25 and 30yo etc as to how you can handle things etc (though some girls seem to have lived a life by 22yo that'd have turned me inside out).
Not btw, that age makes you immune to bullshitting players, as God knows I'm testament to - x
Not btw, that age makes you immune to bullshitting players, as God knows I'm testament to - x
@whosthischick can you share your experience? X
I'm not a teenager anymore haha! Over my 21st birthday but still young enough to qualify as a sugar baby... I hope!
I've only created a profile so far. No pics of me yet. I login and look but haven't taken the plunge properly yet but there are guys I've favourited. Was kind of hoping anyone who has done this could be honest, like safety and anything else I should be aware but I maybe haven't thought of. @leavemealone spoke of being a potnoodle build and that's me so that struck a chord. Funny stories are welcome too, I'm not looking to get scared out of my skin!
Last edited:
Where are you? Seeking arrangements?
I joined SA quite a few years ago, when I was about 19. My reasoning was because I liked the thrill of being with someone older, and having intellectual conversations, getting to know businessmen etc. I have money, so that wasn’t my primary motive, but I wanted the lifestyle more than the rest of it. I would never sleep with someone unless there was a real connection and I actually wanted to.
There are a LOT of losers on there who are full of fake promises and never follow up on what they say. They act rich, like they’re going to give you a massive allowance, they ask for nudes, sex etc. You really have to weed these guys out.
I only did it very very briefly because I got into a serious relationship soon after, which I’m still in. But I did meet one man in person. He was very lovely, he said he wanted a connection and someone he could talk to, not someone who was with him just for money. He wouldn’t push me to do anything sexual, but if it happened, it happened. We met up frequently for lunch, dinner, random dates, and each time he would pay for the date and give me money afterwards, about £100 each time in cash.
I broke it off when he told me he was married and had been doing this for many many years with other women before me, behind his wife’s back. He also had a daughter older than me, so that was weird for me. Then I met my boyfriend after, so I put a stop to it all.
I recommend the site, but be prepared to really work to find a diamond in the rough.
Edit: not sure if this helps, but I’ve found the younger you are, the more men are interested. Sounds gross, but my friend was on the site and she’s quite a few years older than me and had no luck at all. But it also depends on much more than that.
There are a LOT of losers on there who are full of fake promises and never follow up on what they say. They act rich, like they’re going to give you a massive allowance, they ask for nudes, sex etc. You really have to weed these guys out.
I only did it very very briefly because I got into a serious relationship soon after, which I’m still in. But I did meet one man in person. He was very lovely, he said he wanted a connection and someone he could talk to, not someone who was with him just for money. He wouldn’t push me to do anything sexual, but if it happened, it happened. We met up frequently for lunch, dinner, random dates, and each time he would pay for the date and give me money afterwards, about £100 each time in cash.
I broke it off when he told me he was married and had been doing this for many many years with other women before me, behind his wife’s back. He also had a daughter older than me, so that was weird for me. Then I met my boyfriend after, so I put a stop to it all.
I recommend the site, but be prepared to really work to find a diamond in the rough.
Edit: not sure if this helps, but I’ve found the younger you are, the more men are interested. Sounds gross, but my friend was on the site and she’s quite a few years older than me and had no luck at all. But it also depends on much more than that.
What would you like to know?
Yes, I'm on SA. Are there better ones?
Honestly? I wouldn't recommend it. If I could go back in time and not do it and just suffer being behind with bills all the time, that's the road I would take. It's not only a HUGE waste of time to find a potential match who actually pays what you want (or pays at all, I've had quite a few promise things and then block me after we met), but it's also a dangerous world where you potentially expose yourself to harm in various ways. You could get r*ped, dr*gged, beaten, and of course the very obvious, contract an STD, and you better hope it's not permanent. A lot of people seem to think it's the same as having regular sex except you get paid, but it's really not, I don't know how to describe it but it does feel different. It didn't make me feel happy, or empowered, it just made me paranoid and sick. I'm not as seasoned as these girls, I only did it for a couple of months in 2016, and checking it out now vs back then, the competition has grown MASSIVELY. If I wasn't lucky back then of meeting men who paid (and paid enough), I imagine I'd have zero luck now. Whatever your reason is for trying to join that world, it's not worth it. Save your health and sanity and find other ways of 'making it' in the world.
Thanks for that. I read on reddit about a girl who got into a nightmare situation when the wife found out and got her contact details! So I wouldn't be interested in any married men but I suppose they wouldn't all necessarily be honest about that, so it's a possibility but something I'd really rather not happen.
That sounds like a good guy you were meeting and somewhat relieving. It seems to be a theme though that a lot of guys are pretending to be what they're not.
How do the guys go about ripping you off? Just not give you money? How do you ask for money? Because that feels very entertainer-y and I'm not sure how you go about it all.
Thanks. Block you after you met? Like, for lunch, or 'met-met' so to speak and you didn't get anything?
Did you not find the men attractive or is that me being naive and you get nowhere thinking like that (but so long as they're nice).
Yup. Like in my case, I met this one man for lunch in a hotel and then we went up to his room. He claimed to be some big time gems dealer with his own mines and talked about how amazing his last arrangement was and how wonderfully it all worked out (red flag, do NOT believe men who say they had an arrangement where they provided things, 9/10 times it's a straight up lie). I thought the same would happen to me, like we'd get in this arrangement and he'd get me a personal trainer and nose job (what he suggested, I was 19 and naïve I didn't ask him for anything), so I was like ok this is a sweet deal and slept with him. A couple of days later I had some pain in my ear and decided to text him to send me some money to get it checked out, he blocked me. I was confused because I thought we'd gotten into an arrangement and he was supposed to 'take care' of me, plus we'd already slept together, but nope, they'll just butter you up with stories of how successful their last arrangement was, and I bet anything that if I hadn't asked for money he would've continued pretending the personal trainer and nose job were gonna happen while getting to sleep with me for free.
What do you do for a typical date? Is sex always involved?
That's awful! Was this a nice hotel, like it all looked legit and he was what he said, and looked like he actually had money? Nice watch and clothes etc? I'm just trying to look-out for 'tells'.
And sorry to be personal but did he just suggest going to his room right after lunch? I can see that after dinner but in the afternoon, does that not seem suspect? Not judging, just trying to avoid same mistakes.
Last edited:
I wasn’t too worried about his wife finding out, he had kept it hidden from her for so long, and I didn’t give him my real name either so I doubt she’d get my details. But a lot of men on there are married so chances are you’d find one that is. The guy I met was actually very nice (aside from being married).
He insisted he would not pay me for the first meeting though, it was just an introduction. and then after that, he would take me on dates and give me £100 after. We met in a public place, at a coffee shop for the first meeting, and just talked, he was very easygoing. I thought I had nothing to lose, and the shop was nearby, so I just went along. Besides, if I didn’t like him, I could just leave, and it was broad daylight in a busy shop on the weekend. We got some inquisitive looks, but I had prepared some lines in my head (“this is my tutor/teacher/lecturer/neighbour”). If was funny when he tried to slip me the cash secretly though
They either say they will pay you at the end of the month, but want to meet right away and have sex. It’s obvious they won’t pay you and they just want to get laid, so don’t fall into that trap. Or they ask for nudes to “check you’re real”. Some men might even go as far to blackmail you, threaten to tell your family, find you on social media and leak your pictures. It’s a very dangerous world so just be prepared.
With regards to asking for money, I would talk for a bit and then say something like “what sort of arrangement are you looking for?” (They usually bring up money then), or “what arrangement have you had in the past?”. Or they asked me that question, and I’d mention an allowance or something
That's interesting. So the guy was bullshitting about an allowance and counting you'd fall for it. I have to echo whothischick and ask if he looked for real or he wasn't counting on your desperation and gullibility to see him through. I mean, please tell me this wasn't a Travelodge or Premier Inn you ended up in?
And to answer this question, yeah you basically have to straight up tell them what you're expecting, possibly in chat before you even meet, otherwise it probably won't happen, they won't do it themselves unless they're seasoned and know how it works. My personal example of this would be my very first meet. He called me to a hotel and I went without even knowing how it all works or without even asking/telling him what I wanted to get paid, it was literally just a few days after I'd made my account. After we were done he gave me an envelope containing £500. I didn't ask for it or tell him how much I wanted, I didn't know how to, but after that I used it as my baseline rate. I'm lucky that my very first meet was with an experienced (in that world) man, otherwise I wouldn't have known what to set my rate as or how to go about asking to get paid. I know you don't want to do PPM but it unfortunately has to start off that way (and 90% of the time stays that way) because there are too many men hoping to get away with lying about providing a proper arrangement.
I did eventually get into an arrangement with two men (you can have as many as possible if you have the time for it), one paid £200 and the other £300 every time I saw them, they weren't rich so they couldn't provide items or experiences, but the money was enough for me. Unfortunately the one who paid less ended up giving me a dangerous strain of HPV. While he was preaching to me about not seeing other men, he was seeing other women and that experience ruined my libido and body for the next three years, and that is what made me stop. I spent thousands getting monitored over three years, and I've now been free of it for two. After I stopped seeing him he messaged me to meet up out of the blue one day and I told him what he'd done to me and asked him to at least reimburse half, he went bonkers and called me every name in the book and refused, so I blocked him. He was super cool too and we got along really well. It taught me a really important lesson that it's the ones closest to you that you shouldn't trust. I'm not saying this will happen to everyone who joins SA, but it is a really important cautionary tale, like the hare and tortoise type of story where there's an important lesson to be learned from all of it.
@leavemealone thank you for explaining your experience....xxx
It was at a semi-nice hotel, Raffles. It's not Burj Al Arab, but it's still 5 star. He had the clothes and watch, he was in a suit and looked like a proper businessman. And yeah we just went straight up to his room after lunch. It's a pretty big hotel, like the lobby is huge. I didn't care about what people thought of me, so yeah I just followed him up to his room.
- Status