Secret Celebrity Gossip #95

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Notintheknow

Notintheknow

Does anyone know who was the lucky lad (or lassie) there that got to quieten Lorraine's growler? There'd be tea in that (or should I say Bovril considering all this talk of beef flaps).

On a side note...if Lorraine were to ever read all these threads about her 🙈😂
 
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PrincessCharming

I quite admire Lorraine’s attitude in denying it’s her and not creating fuss.

The pictures were clearly taken back before internet and revenge porn were a thing. One of her exes has probably made a few quid.

I’m sure I would hate for someone to post my nudes from 30-40 years ago.
 
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L3moning

Notintheknow said:
Does anyone know who was the lucky lad (or lassie) there that got to quieten Lorraine's growler? There'd be tea in that (or should I say Bovril considering all this talk of beef flaps).

On a side note...if Lorraine were to ever read all these threads about her 🙈😂
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She's married to a man, so presumably him at some point. Although there were rumours of her being ... inappropriate with female make up artists at one time.
 
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Notworthy

Query, when people were discussing the untouchable fantasist from DS would that person have had a female user name followed by a year that would make them 40 this year?
 
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Serene Serena

Serene Serena

H.R. Pufnstuf said:
I agree. I’m short(4’10”) and short jokes wear thin when you’re hearing them often which he probably was.
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I’m tall and get similar ‘hilarious’ witticisms about my height from some people. Tempted to buy some 70’s platform boots and stomp on their heads sometimes.
 
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ButtonDownTheHutches

ButtonDownTheHutches

Notworthy said:
Query, when people were discussing the untouchable fantasist from DS would that person have had a female user name followed by a year that would make them 40 this year?
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Oooh, I missed this - I love a DS cross-over, and I love an online fantasist. What were they bullshitting about?
 
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Cosmo69

Notintheknow said:
Does anyone know who was the lucky lad (or lassie) there that got to quieten Lorraine's growler?
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It could have been a prowler called Fowler who first defiled her growler. The thing is her growler has now taken on a life of its own, like the giant pussy in The Goodies or The Prisoner's bouncing ball. Lorraine has already admitted that there is a second Lorraine for TV purposes, so it's not unlikely that there's a duplicate growler on the loose aboot this hoose. I advice everyone to be on their guard.
 
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Gym&Tonic

Gym&Tonic

PrincessCharming said:
I quite admire Lorraine’s attitude in denying it’s her and not creating fuss.

The pictures were clearly taken back before internet and revenge porn were a thing. One of her exes has probably made a few quid.

I’m sure I would hate for someone to post my nudes from 30-40 years ago.
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The story was that the photos were found hidden under some floor boards when a house was being renovated. I think someone put them there and forgot about them. They’ve never actually been published by the press but have been available online for at least twenty years. It is more definitely, 100 per cent her though. Unless she has a long lost identical twin sister we don’t know about?
 
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PrincessCharming

They’re published online, clearly.

It was a very early Tattle Secret Gossip thread where someone said she’d denied they were photos of her.
 
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Mycatismad

Mycatismad

Gym&Tonic said:
The story was that the photos were found hidden under some floor boards when a house was being renovated. I think someone put them there and forgot about them. They’ve never actually been published by the press but have been available online for at least twenty years. It is more definitely, 100 per cent her though. Unless she has a long lost identical twin sister we don’t know about?
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Are the Sue Perkins ones real?
 
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dorydaryl

dorydaryl

H.R. Pufnstuf said:
I agree. I’m short(4’10”) and short jokes wear thin when you’re hearing them often which he probably was.
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At 4 ft 7 (female), I've had to develop a very thick skin. If people make a short-ish joke at me, I just give them a puzzled look and say, 'Sorry, that just went right over my head!'
Some people think you haven't heard every wisecrack in the book!
I know a lot of the 'jokes' or terms I hear are meant with affection and I've reached the age where I really don't give a damn anyway.
The main way shortarse-ness affects me is practical, in terms of not being able to reach stuff on high shelves, etc. but I can still get into kid's clothes and actually get away with quite a lot of lip. Can't do nuttin' about it, so I just crack on.

ETA: It must be much tougher for short men, though. The likes of Ronnie Corbett perhaps became comedians partly as a defence against the ribbing. And good on him for not shying out of helping with nappy duty for the grandkids.
 
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House of Tea

House of Tea

dorydaryl said:
At 4 ft 7 (female), I've had to develop a very thick skin. If people make a short-ish joke at me, I just give them a puzzled look and say, 'Sorry, that just went right over my head!'
Some people think you haven't heard every wisecrack in the book!
I know a lot of the 'jokes' or terms I hear are meant with affection and I've reached the age where I really don't give a damn anyway.
The main way shortarse-ness affects me is practical, in terms of not being able to reach stuff on high shelves, etc. but I can still get into kid's clothes and actually get away with quite a lot of lip. Can't do nuttin' about it, so I just crack on.

ETA: It must be much tougher for short men, though. The likes of Ronnie Corbett perhaps became comedians partly as a defence against the ribbing. And good on him for not shying out of helping with nappy duty for the grandkids.
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Richard Osman says the same about being tall.

www.dailymail.co.uk

Richard Osman tells people to 'stop body shaming' about his height

Richard Osman has revealed that he now tells people to stop 'body shaming' him when they make comments about his height.
www.dailymail.co.uk www.dailymail.co.uk
 
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Hevs75

Hevs75

Dogtanian said:
My ode to Lorraine Kelly's Growler, certificate Peurile.
- by Dogtanian, age... ...probably the same as my IQ

"Dear Lorraine, from the last of the thistle.
Your beef curtains inspire my 3 inches of gristle.
I love to see you're open wide.
So I can peek at your inside.
And spew jizz out of my meat whistle."
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I'm at work reading this in my lunchbreak and dear god I've just laughed out loud very loudly, have been asked what was so funny and I can't tell them can I :D
 
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LoopyLou47

Why does Henry Cavill look like a wax work dummy in a fatsuit? Time to lay off the roids I think.
 
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