Scousebird Blogs #12 The shop is an offy but no one even buys her coffee

[Tomi2015]

Just found out a girl I used to go to the football matches with has been murdered by her partner after years of physical and mental abuse
I swear if she makes any more wisecracks about domestic violence I will rip into her like no one has before. I’ll obviously give my identity away but at this stage I honestly don’t give a shit

 

[TheGhostofShirleyBallas]

It’s nearly new thread time DABs, any suggestions? I’m trying to think of something that rhymes with ‘terrible fucking mother’ or ‘piñata’

"90's hair, new shop's a disgrace, gets her daughter to smash herself in the face".

 

[DoubleDenim]

 

[Sparklesurprise]

Ommmg it’s took me weeks to read these start to finish as well as keeping up to date with khm thread I’d be fucked if it wasn’t lockdown.

first of all I really want to be a dab

I am a wool tho but that boss birds shop is by mine and I do have to say it’s really lovely inside it’s a vegan gift shop and everything’s like ethically sourced / not tested on animals / independent suppliers. I thinkit’s what Jeff should be doing instead of selling the Amazon tatt for a higher price.

also, I’m not over the piñata??? Igenuinely think I would have found that harrowing as a child. Like that’s got to mess with ur head, bashing in a piñata with ur own face on it!

And lastly. That house never looks cosy. It stresses me out, I just can’t imagine relaxing after a long day at work because it’s so manic. Literally the opposite of peaceful.

thanks been dying to throw my two cents in

 

[MrsPurchase]

“Well... (sucks lips) they do say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery (hard swallow, laughs uncontrollably looks around to see if anyone is looking at her) and it seems someone has hahahahahahahahahaha copied hahahahah (dabs watery eyes) hahahahaha the scousebird shop! Hahahahahahahahaaaaa Don’t worry (shrugs, smacks lips) I’ve been in touch with my lawyers and (wide eye look into camera phone) they will be closed down soon (smug look, hard swallow, smacks lips, laughs uncontrollably).”

 

[SpiceWeasel]

Off topic and feel like I should censor out his shaved tummy but for the DABs that wanted an update my fur boy is going to be okay

As you were

 

[Notatrollonlyheretolol]

So I’m late to the party here, but a couple of things.

1) do you think Jeff shops local or buys her stock on Amazon then near enough doubles the price and guilts her loyal following into shopping local and spending their hard earned wages in her shop rather than buying products themselves on Amazon for, you know, a fair and reasonable price ....

2) this video is totally out of context to the conversation and I am new to this thread so it’s probably already been on here but I screenrecorded it a while ago because I just couldn’t believe she uploaded it. I managed to get it before she deleted it too

I felt bad about posting this but then realised she posted it to her followers in the first instance

Anyway, enjoy. Oh and make sure you watch until the end..

ps I don’t feel bad about outing her blatantly buying stock and reselling at an extortionate amount, not a way to treat your customers...

 

[User164638]

Riled me up so much that she’s put Cora in school so she can take a walk through the pine woods
Yeah I’m sure that’s EXACTLY what they had in mind when they kept schools open!

 

[AngelicaPickles]

Fumin youze are comparing me ma to Steph

In all seriousness though, she needs to bin that blue top she’s got on. Her dress sense is atrocious.

 

[manknows123]

She’s deffo got issues! For a women her age it’s pathetic. Were they deffo swingers?

Not 100% on swingers.

yes not right defo she puts phoney scouse accent on and isn't even scouse he used put her in dog cage blow his tubes out in a bowl then let her out cage and let her drink it, proper not norm behaviour.

 

[Fubarssdd]

I know! Such a let down. Hope we got our DAB badge back off him before he left the building

me sowwi. To be honest the amount of inboxes I received was enough. Point made. Be assed with a social media war when I’ve got better things to do like masturbate and learn guitar in a shed. I’ve not give it a passing thought. I loved all the people from Plymouth who have dresses from millets and knickers from Ethelaustin ripping me. And my above average candles Are stocked in a city centre shop now. Being quiet doesn’t mean anything is forgotten. Anyhoo I’m off to buy wine and waste men’s time on grindr and chat to my new comedy agent.

cuddles

 

[Sk8rBoi]

Whichever teacher on Merseyside is apparently teaching kids about Jeff being an entrepreneur and her business ethics please hand your degree back immediately and have somebody ring ofsted for a full school inspection, thanks.

 

[User164638]

So someone in jakes mums house has tested positive, doesn’t that mean she should be isolating? I thought support bubbles were basically supposed to be treated as one household?
And if she’s sending Cora to school aswell, does she not understand that this is why we are in these lockdowns because of gobshites like her where it’s one rule for one and one rule for everyone else!

 

[Brooke Davis]

Which DAB was out earlier in their private reg?

 

[Ab235]

On her insta stories

"From a fake account obv"

Sorry

Said the absolute dickhead who started a fake account... using a fake image of Colleen Rooney...slating girls in her own city! Oh doesn't it all come back round in circles!

 

[TheGhostofShirleyBallas]

Not 100% on swingers.

yes not right defo she puts phoney scouse accent on and isn't even scouse he used put her in dog cage blow his tubes out in a bowl then let her out cage and let her drink it, proper not norm behaviour.

That's enough Internet for Shirl today.

 

[HarderFaster]

I think I’d just respect her a lot more if she was honest and said, “look, I don’t particularly enjoy motherhood and its trappings. I do my job [it’s not a job but I’ll let her have it in this imaginary statement] and that pays for the house which my ex and child live in and he’s her primary caregiver”.

She’d get shit from certain people because society is inherently sexist, but I know loads of women who’ve really not taken to motherhood, and resent the loss of their career/social life/autonomy. If Cora is getting the emotional stability that she needs from Paul and the financial support from Steph then that’s grand: men have been getting away with being absentee dads who pay child support (or in the case of my dad, pay fuck all ) for centuries. I think it’d be a really interesting way to start a conversation about the fucking mad expectations on women to have a career and a side hustle and also be a full-on earth mother.

In a way it’s sad that she feels the need to keep up a pretence. She’s still a preposterous person in every other respect, of course.

 

[TheGhostofShirleyBallas]

The piñata:

This may sound dramatic, but hear me out: if both parents were involved in contested contact/custody proceedings or if a social services referral have been made in respect of Cora, then the piñata would be the subject of much courtroom debate (all of which would be negative) to the extent that Paul's lawyer would have a field day with that nugget of information. It's easy to say, "but that's not the case so it's fine", but it isn't. It's questionable behaviour at best, damaging at worst.

I'm aware nothing like this is going on with the child, but if the piñata would be a legal bullet in the head in the right circumstances, then it's not right in day to day life either.

The shop:

The shop will fail. She will either be evicted or she'll have to remortgage her property (doubt that will happen though given paying bills has never been a priority for her). And when it happens, I'll put on my best sequin number and rhumba past her shop window.

Ya girl Shirl has quite the knowledge base.

 

[OliveOil2020]

I’m still not over her sending Cora to school. When I think of my mate who owns a florist snd is busy doing a lot of funeral flowers at the moment. She’s got 2 school age kids at the shop with her in the day, makes up packed lunches for them and even bought a little tv & couch for them to use between school work.

How Jeff has the cheek to put anything relatable to home schooling and/or working from home when it’s business as usual for her. What pandemic

 

[Notatrollonlyheretolol]

Actually embarrassing that tourists will go into that shop and think 'oh is this what scouse is'. Dear god

“Is this what Scouse is?”

meanwhile Jeff is stood in front of poor tourist trying to flog them her second hand Amazon purchases like...