I think she babies them both. But my son is 2, still in nappies, sleeps in his cot, has a sleep time bottle and has a dummy if he isnt feeling well/sleepy or manages to steal one! However I let him walk unless there is specific reason I.e he is over tired and needs a nap, or at somewhere very busy and he could get lost (he occasionally tries to run off) so I do think it's how you actually treat them, and how much independence you give them. My son can go and get his own snacks, and does a whole host of other things for himself. I treat him as himself not by anyone else's standards.