This has absolutely devastated me. Poor girl and her poor family. I suspect there’s a lot more to this than we know and I doubt this was his first offence of this sort.
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Yes. There was a doctor at one of my old surgeries who was being investigated for abusing female patients. Unfortunately he killed himself before it could go to trial so those women could never get justice. I don’t blame women at all for being choosy over who we talk to about personal things and who we receive treatment from.
I don’t know, remember that girl that went missing in Hull and was found in the Humber? The guy who did that was just driving round at night looking for a girl to grape / hurt and he saw her alone and really drunk so got her in his car. Maybe this guy was just on the lookout for a girl alone that night and she was the unlucky one.Does anyone else think that there is more to this? How did he randomly pick her and then do this? It’s not the kind of crime someone randomly does either as their first time.
It will be pretty terrifying if he turns out to have randomly picked her. Not sure if by now they would of released to the public whether she knew him. The family say no, but I am so confused as to how this could happen randomly?! If you wanted to pick a random target there are lots of places you could go with no CCTV etc.
I have been thinking about this case non stop and hoped she would be found safe and well
I mean, it could well have more to it but it’s not impossible to think that it could have happened that way.
I had to go for a medical for work and the Dr was male. He insisted I had to strip down to my underwear to be weighed. I refused and he became very difficult and said if I didn’t he couldn’t weigh me and the medical couldn’t be completed. I still refused. When I went back to retake the medical it was a different dr who told me to just hop on the scales. No talk at all of needing to take my top and trousers off. I was early 20’s and deeply regret that I didn’t make a complaint but back then I felt like I was just being silly. I understand so much more the older I get. And that sad thing is I could reel off so many situations where I have had my a groped on the tube, a guy put his hand up my skirt on an afternoon in the town centre when I was 13 years old, a boss who sent me text messages about my boobs and telling me of all the girls in the team I was the one he’d duck. Women shouldn’t have to protect themselves and feel intimidated in every day situations, it’s men who need educating. I’m actually feeling so angry about this this morning as I know we all are. We put up with so much and it’s not ok.
Chances are he's a repeat offender, he's gotten away with it before, and he got careless.Does anyone else think that there is more to this? How did he randomly pick her and then do this? It’s not the kind of crime someone randomly does either as their first time.
It will be pretty terrifying if he turns out to have randomly picked her. Not sure if by now they would of released to the public whether she knew him. The family say no, but I am so confused as to how this could happen randomly?! If you wanted to pick a random target there are lots of places you could go with no CCTV etc.
I have been thinking about this case non stop and hoped she would be found safe and well
And yet we are called TERFs if we don’t want a smear test performed by a m2f trans. But that’s a whole other discussion....
I understand the point, but the constant 'someone's partner, friend, daughter, mother' etc doesn't sit right with me. So those of us who don't have partners, kids etc aren't worth as much? We feel that way anyway sometimes, nice to have confirmation.
In regard to the #notallmen discussion, Sara Pascoe talks about this in her book. No, not all men are rapists and murderers HOWEVER almost every woman (if not every single one) can tell a story of a personal experience of a man doing something inappropriate or worse. Every woman has a story and therefore there’s enough men doing something to cause that. So no, not all men. But enough men that all women have had to deal with this tit.
It annoys me that we have to try and convince men to care about women by reminding them that their mothers, daughters, sisters, wives etc just so happen to be female, as if they’ve never noticed before. Sorry you feel you aren’t worthy, you absolutely are.
I was stalked at work. The first thing that was said to me was that I must of come across too friendly. I didn't flirt with him, I was wearing my work uniform, I was doing my job. Yet it somehow got turned around to it must of been my fault. Then instead of protecting me, I was told to just hide every time he came into where I work. Instead of protecting me, I was made to feel ashamed and like I was being over the top. It was funny for everyone else, but for me it was a living hell. He stalked me at work for almost a year and the countless times I'd see him in the street, he'd shout my name and I'd be left a shaking mess. I often wondered if he'd end up taking things too far.
We shouldn't have to live like this. We should be able to walk alone, we should be able to do our jobs, we should be able to live!
I hope if it is confirmed that the body is Sarah's that her family take some small comfort that this is leading to something bigger. This feels different to all the times before. We're not going to stand for it anymore.
Here in the UK if you ask for their collar number and they give it to you, you can call 101 to check their identity and that they are who they say they are! And if they are undercover or not in uniform they have to show you their warrant card
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But it's so scary because (aside from being off-duty) he would have checked out as legit, right?
FYI for anyone local in London there’s a vigil on Clapham Common on the 13th for Sarah called ‘Reclaim the Streets’.
I’m currently pregnant and I find out the gender next week. Now I feel like I’m going to be a good mom and raise good kids but all of this discussion has made me think about if it’s a boy, what I need to do to raise him to be a good man. And if it’s a girl, what I can do to make her feel strong and powerful and not lesser just because she’s a girl. Society still has these fixed ideas about boys and girls and I just want to raise mine right. Boys shouldn’t feel more powerful and that they can get away with anything. Girls shouldn’t be taught to dress a certain way or live in fear because of the boys.
I really think their needs to be a change in education. Kids need to be taught from early teens what sexual harassment and assault is and the severity. A huge part of SA is the grape culture and ‘humour’ young men find funny. You know, laughing at their friend taking home a drunk girl from a nightclub, or grape jokes. This all contributes. If their is proper education this could be prevented.
Very scary and he would have done. How are we meant to trust the people that are supposed to protect us? But for anyone posing as an undercover officer, real or not it’s always good to check!
I’m so sorry you went through that. It is not ok! Yes I’ve been thinking about it this morning that things do feel a bit different. The Me Too movement has made some positive changes and maybe a movement will arise from this. Since I posted I was just reflecting back on why I didn’t report the dr, why I didn’t report my boss to HR and I think it’s because I felt young and they were people with more authority and you just had to somehow accept it and get on. Me Too has made it easier for women I think to be able to stand up and say something so maybe a movement around this will help make a difference too. I can’t stop thinking about Sarah, I know what has happened to her is the absolute worst thing and has not happened to any of us but it’s patterns and escalations and just the overwhelming feeling that we aren’t safe.
The entire situation is devastating. At the level of this particular event / crime and at a wider level, for women all over the world and the endless tit and fear we all have to deal with, every bleeping day. It’s an endless burden and how tragic for Sarah that her burden only came to an end when she had the misfortune of being in the same space at the same time as a devil.
I keep thinking of her parents. She was 33- young, yes, but “grown up”. Out of the house. Raised. Fully cooked. She and her parents lived through Sarah Payne, Holly and Jessica, Milly Dowler; to name a few. The relief in the knowledge that she had survived that age where it seemed like endless young girls were brutally murdered at the hands of deviant men only for her to die like this? Urgh. The details of “this” her family won’t even have knowledge of for a while yet.
It’s so desperately sad.
I keep thinking of her parents. She was 33- young, yes, but “grown up”. Out of the house. Raised. Fully cooked. She and her parents lived through Sarah Payne, Holly and Jessica, Milly Dowler; to name a few. The relief in the knowledge that she had survived that age where it seemed like endless young girls were brutally murdered at the hands of deviant men only for her to die like this? Urgh. The details of “this” her family won’t even have knowledge of for a while yet.
It’s so desperately sad.
Sounds like you’re going to be a great mama
I always remember being told what to do and what not to do as a girl. I never ever remember my brother having to have similar conversations.
I must say it's sad that this story has reached the news because a police officer has been arrested. I'm sure if that wasn't the case and it was some random man no one knows, it would have remained local news and not much else.
Do have some questions for the Met for apparently allowing someone who had allegations of indecent exposure against him to continue working though. I know allegations are allegations and it's a slippery slope if we just start taking them all as fact, but something was very clearly missed somewhere
Do have some questions for the Met for apparently allowing someone who had allegations of indecent exposure against him to continue working though. I know allegations are allegations and it's a slippery slope if we just start taking them all as fact, but something was very clearly missed somewhere
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