I don’t agree. This has been well publicised in the news since she went missing, I’ve been following it since it happened hoping for the best. It’s shocking and I think given the lockdown stories like this are even more shocking and will be reported on. Perhaps it’s getting more press due to him being in the police but I had heard about it before a police man was arrested!
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This makes me think back to a situation where I was on a train and a man who was very clearly drunk was trying to make small talk with a female passenger, who wasn’t entertaining it. He started to get a bit nasty and a bit of name calling. I recognised his accent being from near where I am and struck up a ‘playful’ convo to take the heat off her. In hindsight, this was never taught to me, but in the area I grew up in you knew to humour a drunk man, not anger them.
Edit: I realise the context is very different, but more an example of how we are expected as women to modify our behaviour to keep ourselves safe.
Edit: I realise the context is very different, but more an example of how we are expected as women to modify our behaviour to keep ourselves safe.
Yeah, I think abductions/kidnaps leading to murder are generally well publicised. That's not the case for all missing people, I know, but where it seems to be an abduction, it's usually widely reported.
Im a mum to both girls and boys. Consent is something we introduce from a really young age, so for example when they were little I'd ask them if I could wash them etc. Always asked before hugging, kissing, tickling (just a quick, can I hug you). We've talked about respecting choices so for example my father in law insists they hug and kiss, so if they showed reluctance or were not happy to I would tell him that they said no and that's their choice. We don't do gender stereotypes, and challenge them if others do "boys will be boys" is an absolute bug bear. We only like secrets that make us feel happy, but if they make us feel scared or worried then we tell someone we trust.
I've had loads of instances where I have been harassed, assaulted or made to feel uncomfortable. Including a man feeling me up on a crowded train when I had my child with me and I felt I couldn't react because it was so busy, he could just deny and make me feel wrong and I had my child and I didn't want to scare her.
I have always taught my children that if they are worried or need help to go to a police officer. I feel I can't do that anymore.
I reckon it's a very individual circumstance dependant thing
Perhaps if you're local to London and surrounding areas, or keep up to date with Twitter or the like (I imagine they talked about it, plus I think I read some influencers shared it to spread awareness on IG) but as someone from the Midlands the last couple of days was the first time I actually heard about it, and I don't really keep up with social media unless it's something like Facebook.
I can’t imagine the horror she endured in her final hours. Evil b, I hope they crack him soon. He thinks he can play the game, working in that job field. He’s already lost and should bring her poor family some peace.
Donald Glover had a great dark joke on men during a stand up routine, it was something like
“Men have all the crazy ex girlfriends stories because the women who have crazy ex boyfriends are now dead”
“Men have all the crazy ex girlfriends stories because the women who have crazy ex boyfriends are now dead”
Agreed. I remember male friends of mine in uni being shocked that if a girl is extremely drunk, even if she does seem up for it or is even saying she wants it, that my suggestion was its better not to engage in anything. If she truly likes you, she'll want it sober.
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I hope the way we talk to our kids means they are aware and as my two get older we can open the conversation up more atm they are young I worry about scaring them - I bloody hate the world this week
I have one of each too and have a similar approach. My husband was rushed to hospital once and we had to teach them what to do if mummy wasn’t home. we did a family first aid , we were told by the first aider they can check with the dispatcher that the ambulance staff and police are who they say they are and will give/ show them ID info before letting them in - so they know to check in that situation but we’ve always taught them the police help
I hope the way we talk to our kids means they are aware and as my two get older we can open the conversation up more atm they are young I worry about scaring them - I bloody hate the world this week I’m such an idiot. I was thinking how could they think it’s her if it’s “remains” no one decays that quickly surely? I didn’t think that it could be he tried to destroy the body etcCressida fool's statement mentioned that identification would take some considerable time. What on earth has been done to her? Poor, poor girl. I really hope she didn't suffer
It’s been cold out and the body was more than likely covered. It would take a bit longer to decompose to the point where her body would be unrecognisable.
I think the body has been attempted to be destroyed as Cressida said human remains and emphasised “ it will take a while for the body to be identified.”
I still can’t get the thought of his wife working in a lab and the body possibly being destroyed chemically.
How do people know this stuff about his family? I've not seen anything that alludes to his wife / whether it's her that's the woman who's been arrested (I noted that she's quite a lot younger than him). I also took the same from what Cressida fool said about the remains and her emphasis on it taking considerable time to identify those remains. It seems to me as an attempt to destroy her body. It just doesn't make sense, it's truly awful.
I'm assuming its got more widespread attention because he is a serving police officer which makes it a little more shocking than say predator fred who works at greggs. It's not placing less importance on other victims its the shock that its someone who is an upstanding citizen and works in a position of trust.
Women are conditioned to be nice to creepy men. I can remember when I was about 14 being told that I was rude for ignoring an elderly man who kept trying to make small talk with me on the bus, he was asking if I had a boyfriend, if I was ‘going out dancing’ that night etc. Totally inappropriate stuff, but he was elderly and I should have put up with it obviously
His wife has a Linkedin and a Facebook profile that states her job.
Seems like they don't know anything about her beyond this.
I don't really see it being likely that chemicals were used though - that would probably take a lot of work and effort, plus with two kids in the house I doubt she would be bringing chemicals home. Something more usual would have probably been a lot easier.
I was once followed when I got off the bus after school. I was about 13/14 and I noticed him - he was a proper creepy looking guy and kept getting closer and closer. I was still about 20 minutes away from home and had to walk down some really quiet paths, I was almost crying I was so so upset. Another bloke started walking towards me and I literally threw myself at him and said this guy is following me, I don't know him - he looked so shocked and shouted at the guy who ran away! Terrifying - it literally could happen to anybody at any time of the day - there's definitely so much more that could be done to protect women.
Just heard that his wife is a Ukrainian woman he met online, that in itself is a massive red flag.
There’s the thing. I complete agree with all the sentiments about how it’s awful women can’t seem to do anything - BUT I’ve walked many times with no issues. The problem, is that you never know as someone on here said if tonight will be “the night”. I bet Sarah made that walk hundreds of times. I bet she passed hundreds of men who didn’t trouble her at all. What’s scary is how ... “random” it could be ... because awful, sick people do exist .... how do you know which ones are the sick ones? Which night will be the night they are out and where?
And sadly as someone said he could be extremely skilled in fooling people, manipulation etc. Could be a proper psycho even who knows? By that I mean actual psychopath. The theories on him using his id to lure her feed into that whole idea of him knowing what he’s doing....
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