I think he is a calculating pos. He knows he’s getting convicted of something so he’s admitting to beating Sara (he’s already said he would accept punishment) but denying anything to do with blatant torture- binding, burning, biting. This could impact sentencing as it sidesteps the sadistic elements. He’s so sure of himself though he’s slipped up by admitting intent to cause really serious harm. What I don’t understand is how the trial continues when he has admitted to the legal definition of murder on the stand but won’t change his plea?
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In terms of parenting I did a systemic social work course and it's amazing how much you learn from your family of origin. Consciously and unconsciously. You learn how to do life really, we all have family scripts that teach us how to do traditions, roles, communicate, resolve conflict, how we view ourselves and others etc. Think about how much the way we do Christmas, birthdays, meal times etc is learnt from our childhood! Our parents teach us how to parent and give us a blueprint for life, from small stuff like who does the food shopping to huge stuff like how to conduct arguments or attend school and work.
If you received poor parenting you can either replicate (do what they did), correct it by doing the exact opposite (completely reject their way) or improvise and parent intuitively and come up with your own way. It's a choice and you are responsible for your choice.
Not a lot of us are taught to 'do' emotional regulation well. Most of us do reflexive Stimulus > Response. Someone or something stimulates an emotional response and we react with x behaviour. When you start to be self aware and reflect on your behaviour you start to do Stimulus > Pause > think about why you feel that way and want to respond that way > think if that's a healthy response or a trauma/unhealthy/unconscious response> CHOOSE a response.
US, BB (and maybe silent uncle) seem to have zero self awareness or self control, self reflection or sense of self. Look how they are so emotional in court. It's just ego centred drama, with their 'show' in the centre. The basic lack of human empathy for a tiny child like Sara, and I suspect the other kids shows how broken they are. They can't control themselves or their lives and they are like ego based, undeveloped, angry, aggressive toddlers in adult bodies. They are beyond pathetic. Unhealed, unaware and unsympathetic as people
If you received poor parenting you can either replicate (do what they did), correct it by doing the exact opposite (completely reject their way) or improvise and parent intuitively and come up with your own way. It's a choice and you are responsible for your choice.
Not a lot of us are taught to 'do' emotional regulation well. Most of us do reflexive Stimulus > Response. Someone or something stimulates an emotional response and we react with x behaviour. When you start to be self aware and reflect on your behaviour you start to do Stimulus > Pause > think about why you feel that way and want to respond that way > think if that's a healthy response or a trauma/unhealthy/unconscious response> CHOOSE a response.
US, BB (and maybe silent uncle) seem to have zero self awareness or self control, self reflection or sense of self. Look how they are so emotional in court. It's just ego centred drama, with their 'show' in the centre. The basic lack of human empathy for a tiny child like Sara, and I suspect the other kids shows how broken they are. They can't control themselves or their lives and they are like ego based, undeveloped, angry, aggressive toddlers in adult bodies. They are beyond pathetic. Unhealed, unaware and unsympathetic as people
well this is why you have cross-examination. All he is doing is ensuring he doesn’t get any mitigation on sentencing.
I just can’t believe he hit her as she was dying, the poor girl. He’s an absolute animal.
I just can’t believe he hit her as she was dying, the poor girl. He’s an absolute animal.
Sorry if this has been posted, so he's admitted to a lot of things but he isn't admitting burning or biting her. We know the bite marks weren't him because it's been proven so that leaves the other two. The burns could've been provided by an iron but it wasn't tested for some reason. Is he really the reason she died that night? Did he inflict those injuries or did BB? I can't get over how awful this whole thing is, the pain Sara suffered for god knows how long is awful to think about.
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That’s the last thing he did. Probably her last conscious experience on this earth was being beaten by her own father. She died knowing only cruel things would ever happen to her.
She didn’t appear to die of sepsis so the burns aren’t the reason she died, so it’s burns and bites vs beaten with a cricket bat, her body full of badly-healed fractures to her neck, back, shoulders, fingers, legs.
The pathologist said it wasn’t one incident which killed her, it was the cumulative effect. She was slowly dying for weeks, days up til that evening.
There’s also the question of whether they stopped feeding her, there was evidence of sudden starvation. She was murdered, but by how many of them.
US, the uncle, and the eldest boy child have all been ruled out of biting because they provided impressions (not sure if the boy did or if dental records were used). The only one who refused to submit impressions - and so hasn’t been ruled out - was BB.
The iron wasn’t tested for prints as it wouldn’t be admissible evidence as it could be many people in the house to have touched it.
What's even worse about this is that BB and US have also put a question out into the public realm about her 13 year old brother. They've both said something about 'another child' and Sara fighting and they've clearly persued ruling him out with the bites. Imagine even loosely pointing your finger at your own son/step son. It's awful behaviour! That poor kid will access the internet at some point and read that. The living children need bringing back from Pakistan and given a tit ton of therapy and love - the things they've experienced. Poor kids 
There was that much abuse I think it’s entirely possible they don’t know which one of the two of them inflicted the worst injuries that led to her death.
This page has been updated with details from yesterday. It’s a tough read, just when you think it can’t possibly get worse for poor Sara. What she went through in her short life is heartbreaking. She never knew what it was to just be a child and be loved
The Guildford News is doing a cracking job of reporting this. This case is genuinely so confusing but I'm surprised I am shocked after living with a violent man...they obfuscate and gaslight and change their narrative so often its intended to keep you spinning. US is definitely trying to do something manipulative here - he says he caused Sara's death but he did not kill her?! He can't seem to help wanting to redirect to his own agenda constantly. Maybe he believes that he didn't feel like killing her so he's not guilty? Bat tit crazy. I am also curious why I (and lots of us on this thread!) kind of redirected our attention to BB, I am not saying she is completely innocent, we don't have any facts or account yet so I reserve judgement about her culpability...now. I think I said earlier on in this thread, I was worried if it was my internalised misogyny and social conditioning around the wicked stepmother trope which was making me think she was the more sadistic of the adults.
I think I may have got this one wrong...which is a bit worrying given that I have done the freedom project personally and professionally and done lots of personal and professional work around vulnerabilities, abuse and power imbalance. It just goes to show the power that manipulative abusers hold. Wondering if he does this with all the services that came into touch with him? Legal, education, health, social care as well as in his personal relationships and nobody could deal with this level of power play and insanity...and now the country has another dead child on our hands. No point in wringing our hands and saying 'how terrible' when we know the systemic issues in our country will mean there's absolutely going to be a few more Sara's in our history and nobody really cares about those issues unless there's a 'crisis' point and then everyone forgets until next time.
I think I may have got this one wrong...which is a bit worrying given that I have done the freedom project personally and professionally and done lots of personal and professional work around vulnerabilities, abuse and power imbalance. It just goes to show the power that manipulative abusers hold. Wondering if he does this with all the services that came into touch with him? Legal, education, health, social care as well as in his personal relationships and nobody could deal with this level of power play and insanity...and now the country has another dead child on our hands. No point in wringing our hands and saying 'how terrible' when we know the systemic issues in our country will mean there's absolutely going to be a few more Sara's in our history and nobody really cares about those issues unless there's a 'crisis' point and then everyone forgets until next time.
Yes yes yes and this is exactly what I had to unlearn and learn when I went into recovery for addiction - to move away from my stimulus-response pattern (I would also respond to everything with defence/hostility/fear because of past physical and emotional abuse) and relearn how to pause and choose a more conducive response. It's very difficult especially as I'm ND and used to have problems recognising/identifying my emotions correctly so everything felt like an attack...permanent fight or flight was my mode and it took so much out of me physically as well as mentally...
So yes abuse and trauma survivors have to relearn responses but first they must acknowledge it's a problem and even then it's very very difficult, long term work to have to do...plus access to trauma informed psychological intervention on the NHS is very hard to come by, you have to literally be at death's door (which I was).
And a lot of people simply aren't psychologically self-aware enough to even know they need help.
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Wicked stap-parent is not a trope, or rather it is a trope and it's a trope because it's true, all the known stats (and there have been many studies done in the US and some here) show that an abused child is 8 times as likely to be abused by a non-bio parent/boyfriend/girlfried as a bio parent. A child's risk of being abused also increases greatly when a non bio parental figure is introduced into the household.
Also I think they were both abusive. It ain't one or the other.
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We have had good reason to believe Batool was also abusive:
1) She refused to give dental impressions regarding the bite marks found on Sara's thighs.
2) She was heard by neighbours to scream abuse and swear at the children.
3) She was aggressive with the school when they raised the issue of bruises on Sara.
4) She texted her sister over several years documenting the abuse from Urfan, but did nothing to report it to the authorities.
Sara Sharif’s father denies stripping and jetwashing body before fleeing to Pakistan
Urfan Sharif, his wife and brother are accused of being “all in this together” by discarding her clothes and fleeing to Pakistan
Live updates link for today
I feel like I have stop reading about it now. I cant fathom the evil that was perpetrated on Sara and for what seems like her whole life.
Absolute evil wicked twisted bleeps the lot of them.
I do hope they all get tortured themselves when they do get to prison. I hope they know nothing but fear until the day they give up breathing.
Each day just reveals more horrors and I'm sure we won't ever hear the most of it.
Absolute evil wicked twisted bleeps the lot of them.
I do hope they all get tortured themselves when they do get to prison. I hope they know nothing but fear until the day they give up breathing.
Each day just reveals more horrors and I'm sure we won't ever hear the most of it.
US also admits savagely beating her but denies the other abuse - which includes the bite we know he can’t have done due to the impressions. I’m inclined to believe there is truth to his claim based on the evidence we have supporting it. It’s also clearly not a case of abusive man trying to pin it all on woman as he is admitting a very large role in it all.
Wicked stap-parent is not a trope, or rather it is a trope and it's a trope because it's true, all the known stats (and there have been many studies done in the US and some here) show that an abused child is 8 times as likely to be abused by a non-bio parent/boyfriend/girlfried as a bio parent. A child's risk of being abused also increases greatly when a non bio parental figure is introduced into the household.
Also I think they were both abusive. It ain't one or the other.
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It is, you are right. I think I am just naively hoping that at least one of them felt some care towards Sara. I wonder if BB will even give evidence in court now.
Also I think they were both abusive. It ain't one or the other.
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It is, you are right. I think I am just naively hoping that at least one of them felt some care towards Sara. I wonder if BB will even give evidence in court now.
I’m usually the last person to say, or even think, things like this but if there was a way to inflict all of the injuries Sara suffered upon these people then I would be all for it. They had no sympathy, empathy or care for her, let them live what she lived so they can understand what they did. Even then it wouldn’t be as bad, because they would know why it was happening whereas poor Sara must’ve wondered why her and why nobody would help.
Bone stupid, mendacious AND sadistic, wow this guy is the full package:
Sharif insists repeated accusations of domestic abuse were a ‘coincidence'
Urfan Sharif has repeatedly denied being the “common denominator” after being accused by multiple former partners of domestic violence.
Three of his previous girlfriends, who were all Polish, had accused him of controlling behaviour, which included locking them inside and taking their passports.
He insisted that it was a “coincidence” and denied choosing his partners due to their vulnerability and his ability to control them.
Jurors also heard that Sharif had been raised in Pakistan and that his parents had not instilled a disciplinarian regime towards their children. He admitted that his ideas of discipline, which he used against Sara, had “come from him”.
“Did you have an idea about how children should be punished? Is that the truth about all of this?”, Mr Ivers KC asked.
“There’s certain things I can’t explain, I have no words,” Sharif said.
Sharif insists repeated accusations of domestic abuse were a ‘coincidence'
Urfan Sharif has repeatedly denied being the “common denominator” after being accused by multiple former partners of domestic violence.
Three of his previous girlfriends, who were all Polish, had accused him of controlling behaviour, which included locking them inside and taking their passports.
He insisted that it was a “coincidence” and denied choosing his partners due to their vulnerability and his ability to control them.
Jurors also heard that Sharif had been raised in Pakistan and that his parents had not instilled a disciplinarian regime towards their children. He admitted that his ideas of discipline, which he used against Sara, had “come from him”.
“Did you have an idea about how children should be punished? Is that the truth about all of this?”, Mr Ivers KC asked.
“There’s certain things I can’t explain, I have no words,” Sharif said.
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