Sali Hughes #20 Private Sali, always on parade

[SqualorVictoria]

Also, I'm surprised by the Spanish wellness retreat. I feel that a few years ago the wellness retreat would have been mocked in a Pool thinkpiece so I bring you my imagining, writing in the style of SH

"There's been a plethora of white, rich, thin girls with a thigh gap posting about wellness retreats on Instagram. I don't love a stick of asparagus and yoga, myself. Beaches have always bored me. For me it is much more edifying, cheering, gladdening, to clear some space in my diary and chin cheese and vodka with girlfriends. Madonna and Petshop Boys on the decks and dancing til dawn- messy and imperfect, just like real life. It resets the dial in a way no wellness retreat ever could and I emerge revitalised and invigorated- I'm convinced that wellness retreats are an expensive cult and I'll brook no riposte"

 

[under the ivy]

She’s so full of herself!!! It reminds me of this

 

[melfish]

I’m going to be brutal - why would I want to buy something having seen it worn by a not very attractive middle aged woman? Her make up doesn’t look very good, she doesn’t represent my body type & she’s short so I’ve got to try & workout where it would fit on me.

I really don’t understand influencers & the way they are used to sell things.

I think she's an attractive woman by any metric. Also, this sounds a bit ageist. I want to see more women in their 40s and 50s, not fewer

Instagram is littered with 20-somethings, and I cannot relate to them at all

 

[AmberSpyglass]

"I try not to burden you" Seriously! The arrogance is breathtaking

It’s ok Sali, we’re Teachers , Mothers and there’s a PhD student amongst us and other readers of your column , crack on with the burdening , we’ll manage

 

[melfish]

I feel like people are being hoodwinked into believing spending loads of money on yourself is "self-care". It's couched in pseudo-wellness language and it's insidious, especially at a time like this. I get retail is suffering but people shouldn't be guilted into buying stuff they can't afford

I mean, seriously, if your job is just flogging extraneous goods in the middle of a pandemic/looming economic collapse, no amount of charity work is going to detract from that fact

 

[Sheeeet]

McMindfulness: How Mindfulness Became the New Capitalist Spirituality - Repeater Books

Mindfulness is now all the rage. From celebrity endorsements to monks, neuroscientists and meditation coaches rubbing shoulders with CEOs at the World Economic Forum in Davos, it is clear that mindfulness has gone mainstream. Some have even called it a revolution.But what if, instead of...

repeaterbooks.com

I haven't read it, but this looks up your street

This book looks great!

Besides Self-Care, another thing that particularly gets my goat is Mindfulness and Resilience training in the workplace. Eff that. How about you stop hiring overpaid shitty bullying bosses, and treat your workers fairly? It's pushing responsibility for worsening mental health due to shit working practices on to the low(er) paid.

And then selling you "calming" branded crap to add insult to injury in the name of self care. "You're depressed and anxious because your boss is a vindictive arsehole? Have you tried eating your dinner really slowly?" FUCK OFF

If you want self care, try not voting for a bunch of money-grubbing shitheels and disaster capitalists!

Edit: Deep breath Thanks for reading latest in my series of capitalist rants! Time for a brew, perhaps

 

[Sheeeet]

Please let the next thread be Sally Hues #21

 

[Aude]

I also cut my own hair! And have many beauty routines at home

I was struck by SH saying recently that she loved everything about hair salons. I hate everything about hair salons. The heat, the noise, the running late, neckache at the backwash, water dripping down you neck at the backwash, the anxiety (will they do what I want?), the cup of tea that's never quite right, the false friendliness, the pointless chit-chat, having to shout to make your pointless chit-chat heard above the noise, the extortionate cost.

 

[rosemarina]

Ah, this explains it.

I Cannot Overstate This: My Breast Reduction Changed My Life

"I felt about my boobs how I might feel about a fun, attention-grabbing and ultimately overbearing friend who had finally outstayed her welcome. I was simply tired"

www.vogue.co.uk

OF COURSE “I can only dimly recall lying in my Harley Street hospital bed afterwards”

She couldn’t just say hospital bed, could she?

 

[Disillusioned]

Perfect example of post-modern, ‘edgy’ wanker who’s actually a bog-standard misogynist. Indulged and simpered over by the coven with their ultra basic ‘feminism‘.

 

[Raindropsonkittens]

I’m cheered & gladdened that my suggestion for a thread title was chosen

 

[Mazerati]

I did feel guilty about commenting before but now I'm fine with it- do men feel guilty on commenting about say, Bono, even though he donates extensively to charity? Do they beat themselves up for posting about footballers and their skills or lack of? The comments here are very restrained and there's nothing nasty for the sake of it. Again, this place is about influencers, not for them.

Do journalists with huge platforms feel guilty about opinionating and casting judgement on anything and everything? No. They just balk at the idea that us plebs with far less influence might bite back.

 

[Shane]

The surprise of a wee picture behind the door To quote Fr Dougal on the 25th “ah Ted it’s Mary and the baby Jesus I wasn’t expecting that at all”.

Or something.

 

[melfish]

"I've pumped a lot of women"
Sure, Jan.

He and that interchangeable Hogan character remind me of my old avatar (blob fish). Oh to have the confidence of a mediocre middle-aged, middle-class white man

 

[Raker]

Does she think we’re learning nothing as a species? Can she not sense the tide turning? As a top journalist is she unaware of the huge recession, job losses, economic fragility, global pandemic? I’m extremely lucky to be as yet untouched by job insecurities or COVID related losses in my family, and still my idea of a treat these days is the odd nice bar of chocolate — not a bloody £90 lipstick.

read the fecking room, Sali, you tone deaf twat.

 

[Tesla's Ghost]

Her first novel?

About a whip smart girl from the toughest village in Wales who overcame her humble origins and made it in The Industry despite numerous setbacks. We follow her story of self discovery amidst numerous disappointments and triumphs with comic relief provided by the supporting character, her best friend - a working class girl, just like the protagonist, with a curious affliction rendering her mouth agape on photos.

That's 3 novels worth of material by Caitlin Moran standards.

 

[DCICassieStuart]

Anyone know where one can buy beef patterned masks? To match my visage

Here you go

 

[Tesla's Ghost]

“I don’t look younger or hotter or more perfect,” Moran wrote. But then she’d wanted, unlike the young Today programme interviewee, to look “well slept and happy” The deviated septum excuse.
You know what? I don't want to look well slept and happy if I'm sleep deprived and fucked up. Look at this "suffering" face or look away ! And who the fuck looks happy all the time? Maybe if you're on some medical grade shit. Why should I look happy if I'm not? I'm exaggerating and ranting, and I do usually wear under eye concealer, but I hope I've conveyed my irritation with this looking happy crap. Happiness is a fleeting moment, not a permanent state, otherwise we wouldn't be able to function on a daily basis.
Why is it so hard to say it's vanity?! Why?! We often dress to make our figure look a bit better, get a haircut that suits our face or emphasises our features, remove a mole or a wart, the list goes on and on.

Had a look at my calendar, yes, right on time! Need to put out my bat signal that I'm PMS-ing

 

[SqualorVictoria]

Humble brag.

Except there's nothing humble about it!

Don’t these people know how to text privately or use what’s app?, it’s astonishing how clueless they are.

It's all performative nonsense

 

[SqualorVictoria]

"I'd long loathed a Croc, until I came across this super-cool pair ...." #kindlygifted

"I'm normally so entrenched in my position when it comes to footwear and will quarrel at length on Twitter with anyone who dares to oppose- but there is something of the utilarian nana chic when it comes to a croc. Croc chic. I realised that I had been too firm in my belief about a Croc was anything but amazing and on this occasion I am not loth to admit I was wrong after all. After getting so many compliments, I've bought a pair for all my girlfriends"