I’ve seen most of Rubert’s more recent haul videos, but I actually hadn’t seen the 2018 one, so this evening I took some time to watch it and it… weirdly, made me feel a bit sad? She seems much happier, more grounded and more normal in it than in anything recent. The contrast is so strong that (for me at least) it’s genuinely unsettling.
There was so much more authenticity in the 2018 one, I felt (less advertising, and much more content reflecting products she genuinely used), and she looked A LOT better when she wasn’t so under-nourished. While I realise she’s doing it to herself and that it’s a mental health issue (whatever the exact problem - ED, control problems, etc), she has the support and resources to make changes in her life. She’s not dependent on limited NHS mental health support or an absent GP. It’s sad to see someone destroy their body in pursuit of what they perceive to be a desirable “childish” aesthetic when, frankly, she’s short and blonde - plenty of people would have continued to see her as young and as an ingenue even if she had stayed a healthy weight.
She seems to have far more of a genuine interest in her family and her social relationships in the 2018/2019 gift hauls too (I rewatched 2019 to compare after this one). I can believe she feels pleasure at spending time with them, that she actually appreciates the effort put into some of her presents and things like her dad making vegan Christmas food for her. Whereas in her recent videos, everything feels so fake and hollow.
It is a huge shame she has leaned into this attempt to aestheticise everything. She has totally lost touch with what made her channel work in the first place - while she was always vastly privileged, there was some charm and freshness to her back in the day. It wasn’t always pure cringe.