"Candlestick holder."
Another year in which self-proclaimed avid researcher and child genius Ruby fails to figure out what a candlestick is.
"SYO MOCH WAHRK has OBVIOUSLY gone intyooo...GATTING this here and GATTING it desoigned..."
I guess we're starting the video with more lies and bullshit. Almost no work went into designing this planner to begin with, it was just a few custom titles on a generic template slapped together by an intern at Ruby's management company. Each yearly iteration has then been a no-effort palette swap where the only thing that changes is a slightly different colour for the cover.
Ruby continuously claims that an entire year of work goes into these, but there's no evidence of that whatsoever in the final product.
This year's looks like the laziest effort yet.
Ruby reveals that the back cover is a completely different colour to the front, making for a wonky, mis-matched design. Ruby claims that this is a feature, not a mistake - it's "in case thahhr's one of these collars that yoo prefaar mwoar when you've koind of--you've got it sat on your dask?"...because that's how things work.
It's JANUINELY not because Ruby and her management couldn't be bothered putting any effort into this shit-show and it's ABSOLYOOTLY not because the printers had a bunch of leftover materials from previous planners, so they slapped the coloured cardstock meant for two previous planner releases front and back to offload some dusty supplies. IT'S NOT THAT AT AWWWHL.
Spoilers: It's totally that.
She's also littered this cheap mess with her crappy, childish doodles of...something? I don't know what the hell this is supposed to be but nobody should charge money for this amateurish crap.
Ruby's also requested that the planners include an awkwardly-aligned credit section on the back cover devoted to herself and her fake accomplishments. It appears to read 'DESIGNED BY RUBY GRANGER' with her social links listed, but it's hard to make out, because years into the age of 4K video, Ruby's still filming with the ancient potato she's been using for years.
Speaking of recycling old crap, Ruby blathers about Shopify again because they're paying her to, rattles off the exact same spiel she always does when advertising them. "OIY CARN'T EVEN CYODE AND OIY CAN STILL MYAKE A WABBSOYTE! YOU CAN FOINALLY RUN YORE OWN BIZNESS THANKS TYOO SHOPPIFOIY!" Thanks to Shopify, Ruby was finally able to run her own business! It had nothing to do with having no job, no responsibilities, endless wealth and a management team to do all the work for her. JANUINELY.
In a mindboggling case of unbridled privilege run amok, Ruby explains that she's always so burnt out from her holidays that she needs a whole "RE-SAT RYOOTINE" to readjust to life in her dusty, dusty bedroom.
Reminder: Ruby has been on 14+ holidays in the past year, in addition to countless nightly getaways. She did a sum total of 2 full weeks of work in her part-time "job", spread across 7 months. A sure-fire recipe for exhaustion!
Like, if you're rich and don't have to work, enjoy your holidays, I guess. But maybe don't jump onto the internet pretending you're SYO VARRY PWOOR and then start acting like all your endless, carefree overseas adventures are a horrible strain.
Ruby claims the first step on her foolproof plan to acclimate herself back into society after all those harsh and unforgiving days exploring Italy and not having to work a full day in her life is doing lots of cleaning, which she JANUINELY DOES.
Ruby starts unpacking in this outfit...
...She claims that after unpacking she does AWL THE TOIYDEEING AND DOSTING BECOSS A TOIDY SPACE EQUALS A TOYDEE MOIND...
...And then suddenly she's switched back into this outfit again so she can...umm...send people photos of themselves for their "BARRTHDAYS"? Not sure what this has to do with post-holiday resetting, but whatever.
Since this is a "routine" video, Ruby suggests that she does this after
every single holiday. Reminder: Ruby took 14+ holidays in the last 12 months.
Clearly Ruby doesn't care about cleanliness and no cleaning happened on this day, Ruby just wanted to appear busy and pad the video, so included random footage from another day in which she made a lazy attempt to clean something and was then too lazy to check for continuity errors.
She claims to have gone on an off-screen "ron" (so it didn't happen) and then she's in her 3rd outfit and it's time to write herself a holiday postcard from the holiday that's been and gone. She claims she filled this with the "key LASSONS" that she took away from each holiday, but since she never learns, I assume it's another insufferable screed about how the rain floated sideways on an autumnal breeze as the seagulls supped upon the dewy mist, or some such incoherent, pretentious drivel.
After that, she does a "GAPYAH REVIEW". Again, this is a routine, so she apparently does a gap year review after every single holiday. Reminder:
Ruby took 14+ holidays in the last 12 months.
She provides no details for this activity, but since she hasn't accomplished anything in her gap year, I'm assuming this "gapyaaah review" amounted to:
"Not enough holidays. 3/5 stars."
Ruby claims she then spent the entire night editing a memory video of Blakeney footage from the holiday, aka B-Roll footage to cram into every single video for the next year.
"Oiy didn't MEEEAN TO ADDIT THE HYOLE VIDEEYOWWW, bot it was JOSST SYO FU--[ABRUPT CUT]"
Ruby must've been so focused on "additing" that unseen video that she was too tired to bother properly editing this one, because it's the usual shitty mess.
The next day, Ruby's back in that outfit from the previous day and intent on ruining Martha's birthday by gifting her some stuff stored in the dusty swamp under her bed. And then she takes a book she bought for Martha and ruins it.
Ruby says she wants to "GAT BATTAR" at book binding. Which is dubious, since she never seems to actually want to improve at anything, but someone's birthday gift shouldn't be used as a practice run for your half-assed arts and crafts.
Ruby tapes a bunch of old PONKERPODTIBTY to-do lists to the spine, slaps a cover on - Martha's favourite colour is apparently green, so Ruby used a cover that looks more blue than green - and then lazily, blindly sticks on a foil cutout made using her gifted (undeclared) Cricut. It, unsurprisingly, looks like ass, and that foil is no doubt going to peel off the second it touches literally anything.
It's the thought that counts, and Ruby didn't think too hard about this shitshow.
Since this is a "routine" video, Ruby suggests that she does this after
every single holiday.
Reminder: Ruby took 14+ holidays in the last 12 months.
Ruby says she's "collated somm rassipes" that she "created" and holds up that recipe leaflet she Frankensteined together from AI-generated quotes, stolen recipes and plagiarised materials. It's a bit like printing a picture of The Sistine Chapel ceiling and saying, "Here's a print I made of a painting I did."
And she reveals that she also threw together a collection of random, pretentious quotes she found by Googling "deep quotes" or something.
Since this is a "routine" video, Ruby suggests that she does this after
every single holiday.
Reminder: Ruby took 14+ holidays in the last 12 months.
Ruby finishes with an ad for some gifted crap from Fable England, then wraps up by assuring us that people AWLWHEYS ask her to film videos like this.
Really, Ruby?
A show of hands from everyone who's asking Ruby to film "a holiday reset routine full of ads, lies, faked timelines and general baffling idiocy"?
Nobody? I thought so.