Ruby Granger #40 Ruby the linguistic terrorist

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Got round to watching her latest video.

My main (scrambled) takeaways:

1. The concept of a post-holiday reset absolutely screams privileged to me

2. The planner color is a travesty. I actually gasped. On the PUMPINPROTIVTY WABSITE it says the color cover is "matcha" which is actually green, not the weird light tit colour that Roobster's planner is, but once again, it's just like her to get things Wrong.

From Google: "Good Matcha will always be a vibrant spring-green. If it's yellowish or brownish or dull in look, it is old, of a lower grade or, worse, adulterated." Just like Roobs to give us a dull, low grade planner, eh?

3. The actual PLANNER is vile. Like... VILE. Roob was very excited to see and show the page dividers and talked about them like they were perfect, polished, and beautiful. This is one:

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I could do better even in my current sleep-deprived state. Or maybe she thinks this looks good in her deteriorating, malnourished brain. One can only guess.

Also:

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Candles or floating cheese blocks? Who can tell! I wouldn't pay one pound for this.

4. The bed sheet has still not been washed. Also, by the looks of it, not yet ironed or even... patted flat. Look at those wrinkles!

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The way at hangs onto the floor will give me nightmares. Imagine all that dust collecting on it.

5. Speaking of dust! Roobertha moves all of her desktop crap to finally give her desk a good scrubbing! But oh, wait...

Where's that she's setting all of her stuff?

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Right. The dirty, dusty, fly-inhabited windowsill. She is essentially swapping the dirt from the undersides of her things back and forth. What is the actual point? Shall I give her the benefit of the doubt and say she maybe wipes the undersides down?? No???

6. She says that after every holiday she will write down lessons she learned....

I think I speak for a lot of people when I say a holiday is a holiday (to us at least!). A time to rest from work and "reset!" Oop. Where have we heard that before? If you have to reset AFTER a holiday, maybe you're going on far too many. And if you have to find "lessons" in your holidays,,, GET A LIFE OR A JOB. Instead of enjoying her holiday (why would she do that though, she'll be on another next month!), Roobert finds the lessons in them, since her whole life seems to be some fun, academic expedition. Grand.

7. Food, nail polish, or toothpaste on her arm which are all equally as gross/sloppy.

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8. Cut off when talking about the video she edited for her trip. "I didn't MAEEENN to EYDITT IT BAAHHTTT... IT WAS JUSS SO FAYN-" cut to an empty screen which leaves the viewer thinking they may have had a stroke (very likely given the creator).

9. Searching for her sister's gift. And I do mean searching. Ruby travels to where no human has before in the depths of her tit-heap under her bed. Items fall and of course, Ruby leaves them like the sloppy, lazy girl she is. She shoves items into boxes and calls it organized. Eventually, she pulls out a box and digs though it to find MARFA's presents. Gag.

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Side note: Does anyone else find it extremely grating and annoying when Ruby will mention a fact in her video and then talk about it like she's the expert and the viewer absolutely needs to know it/learn about it? She thinks she's holier than thou and it really pisses me off. "Did yEW KNAUW THAT-" "YEW SHAHLD AHLWAYS-" "IT'S AMPORTANT TEW-" Please make it stop.

10. Roob LAUVS having a biscuit tin "by her bed" which is A. a lie and B. gross if true. Does she shove it with all the dust under her twin mattress?

Roob makes sure to look dead in the camera while taking one, lonely bite of this biscuit after her speech, "sometimes you need a biscuit so i keep a biscuit tin under my bed for when i want a biscuit" or something. portrayal that she eats oh so casually (quite obviously deflecting her ED) whenever she wants.

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11. I can't make this up. Painting for her sister's book binding which has potential! (If it had been done by a 1 year old). "Slightly overestimated" is an understatement, Rob.

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12. Pathetic book binding. It looks like a but even though it's crinkled, Rubs says she likes it! Well, that makes one of us.

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13. Roob shows the recipes she has, and I quote, "Created, I guess."

The absolute NERVE of this girl. She stole them, she didn't create them, and the pamphlet looks like tit. Once again, great job for a TWALVE year old, Roobert.

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14. I didn't finish the video. The last part really got on my nerves. Other creators put the work into those recipes and templates. She slapped on some crappy fonts and copied and pasted slabs of text (with no cooking instructions, mind you). I don't care about her crappy print outs that she probably paid loads for or anything else she showed. She has absolutely no talent or is even GOOD at half the things she does. She acts like she's perfect with her crappy, first try attempts at everything which she then scrapes together and showcases as outstanding.

This vlog was particularly annoying, but I guess I'll be be back soon to do it all over again. Joy.
 

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Having a biscuit tin under her bed, considering the state of the floor there (remember the 2 metres long dust hare under there? It was way too big to call it a dust bunny) is so gross. I know the biscuits are in the tin but still. And eating biscuits on her bed just adds biscuit crumbs to the filth. Their house must be crawling with ants considering it's on the ground floor, old and dirty.
 
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"Candlestick holder."

Another year in which self-proclaimed avid researcher and child genius Ruby fails to figure out what a candlestick is.

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"SYO MOCH WAHRK has OBVIOUSLY gone intyooo...GATTING this here and GATTING it desoigned..."

I guess we're starting the video with more lies and bull. Almost no work went into designing this planner to begin with, it was just a few custom titles on a generic template slapped together by an intern at Ruby's management company. Each yearly iteration has then been a no-effort palette swap where the only thing that changes is a slightly different colour for the cover.

Ruby continuously claims that an entire year of work goes into these, but there's no evidence of that whatsoever in the final product.

This year's looks like the laziest effort yet.

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Ruby reveals that the back cover is a completely different colour to the front, making for a wonky, mis-matched design. Ruby claims that this is a feature, not a mistake - it's "in case thahhr's one of these collars that yoo prefaar mwoar when you've koind of--you've got it sat on your dask?"...because that's how things work.

It's JANUINELY not because Ruby and her management couldn't be bothered putting any effort into this tit-show and it's ABSOLYOOTLY not because the printers had a bunch of leftover materials from previous planners, so they slapped the coloured cardstock meant for two previous planner releases front and back to offload some dusty supplies. IT'S NOT THAT AT AWWWHL.

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Spoilers: It's totally that.

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She's also littered this cheap mess with her crappy, childish doodles of...something? I don't know what the hell this is supposed to be but nobody should charge money for this amateurish crap.

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Ruby's also requested that the planners include an awkwardly-aligned credit section on the back cover devoted to herself and her fake accomplishments. It appears to read 'DESIGNED BY RUBY GRANGER' with her social links listed, but it's hard to make out, because years into the age of 4K video, Ruby's still filming with the ancient potato she's been using for years.

Speaking of recycling old crap, Ruby blathers about Shopify again because they're paying her to, rattles off the exact same spiel she always does when advertising them. "OIY CARN'T EVEN CYODE AND OIY CAN STILL MYAKE A WABBSOYTE! YOU CAN FOINALLY RUN YORE OWN BIZNESS THANKS TYOO SHOPPIFOIY!" Thanks to Shopify, Ruby was finally able to run her own business! It had nothing to do with having no job, no responsibilities, endless wealth and a management team to do all the work for her. JANUINELY.

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In a mindboggling case of unbridled privilege run amok, Ruby explains that she's always so burnt out from her holidays that she needs a whole "RE-SAT RYOOTINE" to readjust to life in her dusty, dusty bedroom.

Reminder: Ruby has been on 14+ holidays in the past year, in addition to countless nightly getaways. She did a sum total of 2 full weeks of work in her part-time "job", spread across 7 months. A sure-fire recipe for exhaustion!

Like, if you're rich and don't have to work, enjoy your holidays, I guess. But maybe don't jump onto the internet pretending you're SYO VARRY PWOOR and then start acting like all your endless, carefree overseas adventures are a horrible strain.

Ruby claims the first step on her foolproof plan to acclimate herself back into society after all those harsh and unforgiving days exploring Italy and not having to work a full day in her life is doing lots of cleaning, which she JANUINELY DOES.

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Ruby starts unpacking in this outfit...

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...She claims that after unpacking she does AWL THE TOIYDEEING AND DOSTING BECOSS A TOIDY SPACE EQUALS A TOYDEE MOIND...

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...And then suddenly she's switched back into this outfit again so she can...umm...send people photos of themselves for their "BARRTHDAYS"? Not sure what this has to do with post-holiday resetting, but whatever.

Since this is a "routine" video, Ruby suggests that she does this after every single holiday. Reminder: Ruby took 14+ holidays in the last 12 months.

Clearly Ruby doesn't care about cleanliness and no cleaning happened on this day, Ruby just wanted to appear busy and pad the video, so included random footage from another day in which she made a lazy attempt to clean something and was then too lazy to check for continuity errors.

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She claims to have gone on an off-screen "ron" (so it didn't happen) and then she's in her 3rd outfit and it's time to write herself a holiday postcard from the holiday that's been and gone. She claims she filled this with the "key LASSONS" that she took away from each holiday, but since she never learns, I assume it's another insufferable screed about how the rain floated sideways on an autumnal breeze as the seagulls supped upon the dewy mist, or some such incoherent, pretentious drivel.

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After that, she does a "GAPYAH REVIEW". Again, this is a routine, so she apparently does a gap year review after every single holiday. Reminder: Ruby took 14+ holidays in the last 12 months.

She provides no details for this activity, but since she hasn't accomplished anything in her gap year, I'm assuming this "gapyaaah review" amounted to: "Not enough holidays. 3/5 stars."

Ruby claims she then spent the entire night editing a memory video of Blakeney footage from the holiday, aka B-Roll footage to cram into every single video for the next year.

"Oiy didn't MEEEAN TO ADDIT THE HYOLE VIDEEYOWWW, bot it was JOSST SYO FU--[ABRUPT CUT]"

Ruby must've been so focused on "additing" that unseen video that she was too tired to bother properly editing this one, because it's the usual crappy mess.

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The next day, Ruby's back in that outfit from the previous day and intent on ruining Martha's birthday by gifting her some stuff stored in the dusty swamp under her bed. And then she takes a book she bought for Martha and ruins it.

Ruby says she wants to "GAT BATTAR" at book binding. Which is dubious, since she never seems to actually want to improve at anything, but someone's birthday gift shouldn't be used as a practice run for your half-assed arts and crafts.

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Ruby tapes a bunch of old PONKERPODTIBTY to-do lists to the spine, slaps a cover on - Martha's favourite colour is apparently green, so Ruby used a cover that looks more blue than green - and then lazily, blindly sticks on a foil cutout made using her gifted (undeclared) Cricut. It, unsurprisingly, looks like ass, and that foil is no doubt going to peel off the second it touches literally anything.

It's the thought that counts, and Ruby didn't think too hard about this shitshow.

Since this is a "routine" video, Ruby suggests that she does this after every single holiday. Reminder: Ruby took 14+ holidays in the last 12 months.

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Ruby says she's "collated somm rassipes" that she "created" and holds up that recipe leaflet she Frankensteined together from AI-generated quotes, stolen recipes and plagiarised materials. It's a bit like printing a picture of The Sistine Chapel ceiling and saying, "Here's a print I made of a painting I did."

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And she reveals that she also threw together a collection of random, pretentious quotes she found by Googling "deep quotes" or something.

Since this is a "routine" video, Ruby suggests that she does this after every single holiday. Reminder: Ruby took 14+ holidays in the last 12 months.

Ruby finishes with an ad for some gifted crap from Fable England, then wraps up by assuring us that people AWLWHEYS ask her to film videos like this.

Really, Ruby?

A show of hands from everyone who's asking Ruby to film "a holiday reset routine full of ads, lies, faked timelines and general baffling idiocy"?

Nobody? I thought so.
 
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She is so pathetic that she can't even wrap her mind around practical thinking.

A candle is a candle.
A taper is a type of candle shape. Taper, votive, pillar, etc..
A candlestick is where you stick the candle in.
A candlestick holder would be where you keep your candlestick when you aren't using it, like the box it came in.

Is she really this brain dead? I can't even. I have no idea how she ever graduated in anything. She is as dense as it comes.
 
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Still can't get over the whole "lessons learnt on holiday" thing. It's a holiday, I want to chill and enjoy myself, not use it as an academic exercise. But anyway, here are a few lessons I took away from my recent holiday:

  1. Not having to set an alarm clock is really relaxing. Because, you know, I'm on holiday and I don't have to go to work.
  2. Getting away from your normal, everyday life for a few days is lovely.
  3. I love beaches (nothing new there)
  4. Exploring new cities is fun.
  5. Dutch pub food is great. (Yay, bitterballengarnituur!)
  6. Aaaannd relax!
It's really not that deep. 😂
 
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Here's me thinking that a holiday reset, an incredibly indulgent process to have and keep multiple times a year anyway, would include things like catching up on emails, getting ready for work (or her pretend work), washing clothes, watering plants, etc. Instead she's printing photos and writing to herself.
 
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I so badly want to read her ”gap yahh revyoo”. Please someone convince her to make a video on it.

Her goal for September is to do all the pre-reading 😂 Strap in for the ride!

She’s looking forward to ”living away from home” and wants to make time for formal dinners 🙃
 
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I so badly want to read her ”gap yahh revyoo”. Please someone convince her to make a video on it.

Her goal for September is to do all the pre-reading 😂 Strap in for the ride!

She’s looking forward to ”living away from home” and wants to make time for formal dinners 🙃
She is soooooooo going to act like Hermione Granger in the dining hall, isn't she?!
 
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Only if we could see the same beauty as Roobes! 👀

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And, it didn't change because THEY liked it. All the customers' opinion doesn't matter I guess?

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Buckle up for tomorrow's *very interesting* video.
 
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Here's me thinking that a holiday reset, an incredibly indulgent process to have and keep multiple times a year anyway, would include things like catching up on emails, getting ready for work (or her pretend work), washing clothes, watering plants, etc. Instead she's printing photos and writing to herself.
That's pretty much what I did. Plus restocking the fridge. Because both me and my boyfriend actually have a life that's firmly rooted in reality. 😂
 
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I mean I get it, measured by Ruby's standards of living in her parents house doing duck all, a holiday does seem exhausting.
 
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That's pretty much what I did. Plus restocking the fridge. Because both me and my boyfriend actually have a life that's firmly rooted in reality. 😂
Restocking the fridge is for people who 1) actually eat and 2) aren’t privileged enough to live with a mummy and daddy who love them and get groceries and meal kits delivered.
 
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