Ruby Granger #40 Ruby the linguistic terrorist

[roobee]

She says sticky notes are "really good, especially with library books." NO! I used to work in the college library; most sticky notes and tabs harm books because they are, well, sticky. When you remove them the ink usually sticks to the glue and the print fades. You need to be extra careful with older books especially, as they tear so easily as well. I know it seems it's minor damage, but imagine how many people use the same books in a library for how long a time and you will see that Roo is a selfish asshole.

Spoiler: A small stationery rant bc like everything else, she is bad at stationery as well:

- First 60 seconds: she says zebra sarasa pens are her favorite and they write so nicely. NO! vintage colour series look nice, but they are terrible pens to actually write with. I bought them because of their assthetic and using them genuinely feels like I am carving the letters on a woodblock with a knife. I think this is a good metaphor for her fake and crass persona as well.
- It's incredible to me that despite 1)being rich and 2)having used fountain pens since at least her high school years, she only has the basic models of Lamy and Parker pens. They are perfectly fine and I like them and I am poor lol but they are like entry-level pens--doesn't mean they are cheap btw, there are better pens within the same price range, but it means that they are the ones you would buy first to see if you like writing with f.pens. How can you be R I C H and into stationery, calligraphy, and handwriting and never once try a pen that you could not get from literally any basic stationery shop in the world (even in the global south! lmao) is beyond me.

 

[Griftwood]

”Water transports oxygen to the brain” No, Roobee, your blood does that. You breathe air (not water!) and oxygen goes from your lungs into your blood, where it’s carried around your body to wherever it’s needed. On the other hand, it explains so much about her, if she legit thinks you can replace breathing with water.

I must not have drunk enough water, because that was my single takeaway from the video. She’s too stupid for words.

 

[Griftwood]

Why is Rootabaga chatting with AI about the things her father gets up to in the Indian restaurant

or is drunk!Clare using her daughter’s account to write fanfic about her hubby, and how heavily do tomato soup armpits feature

 

[coldestofspirits]

@bananapeel I already live in Oxford so I volunteer to be Tattle rep in the fan club.

 

[yerdasellsavon]

There is no way she doesn't go to Oxford. This is something she says she's dreamt about since she was 12 and she's waited her whole undergraduate degree for the opportunity to try again. She's not going to want to give up on it and I think even if she finds it really challenging mentally and academically, I don't think she'll want to portray herself as someone who couldn't hack it. It would go against the whole image she's built of herself and she would regard it as demeaning if people thought she incapable of handling Oxford.

So all in all, I'd be very, very surprised if she dropped out. Do I think she'll get a distinction? I'd be surprised, but even so, it's a chance for her to bring out another "grades are stopping us from learning" style video. She can talk about how grades don't define her as a person and are a negative thing and doesn't determine her intelligence levels. It's quite a clever way out.

 

[Griftwood]

Thank you to @theMoth for the title! We are presently in the “throws of summer” but Little Miss Rootabaga kindly continues to provide whatever she thinks will pass for entertainment these days. Right now, she’s holidaying in Italy (her 4th Italy trip in the past year btw) with her BASST FRAND BLAKENEEE and dressing exclusively in Victorian underwear. In an alternate universe, this would make her some sort of a bizarre performance artist, but alas, we are stuck in this universe, where somehow she’s going to Oxford in less than three months and is reading mostly YA and middle grade fiction over the summer in lieu of preparation. Early Modern who? We don’t know her

 

[pinkmug]

I don’t really understand the whole being a person who goes out for tea and coffee thing. No judgement, but Ruby seems to do that an awful lot already and when she was at AX-tar, she seemed to be studying in coffee shops practically all the time. I don’t understand why this is an aspiration of hers or what kind of person she believes doing that would make her? It’s all very confusing.

Maybe her actual goal is to finally become a paying customer at coffeeshops instead of occupying tables for hours on end without buying a single drink or snack, under the guise of 'studying'.

 

[coldestofspirits]

I can’t believe she was sponsored by Cambridge University Press. What an embarrassment for them - the video is truly awful, shows her usual horrible editing, poor practice as a student, disordered eating, everything we talk about here. How is that something they want to endorse?

 

[Deeandra2020]

its odd that she put in the title "back to school" as a 23 year old? if it said "Back to uni" maybe it would be a little better? but the whole time I was wondering "Who tf takes washi tape to uni?" And why all the letter writing supplies? surely that's not needed either?

Also, the one video you'd get from me, a 23 year old is "whats in my bag for WARK!" which is literally just my purse, medication and phone.

 

[seo97]

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Ruby went ahead and made the floor her ceiling.

Why put effort into anything when you can convince yourself that doing absolutely nothing but go on an endless series of lengthy holidays is as hard as you can work?

"I deserve to be here" ah yes because wealthy private school kids who live in their parents manor notoriously feel out of place at Oxford </3

 

[lmwfh17]

And her trip to Scotland is another paid ad. Did VisitScotland learn nothing from the half-assed mess she delivered last time? What a waste of money.

it irritates me to no end that throw money at english influencers like ruby to send them up to the fringe when we have plenty of scottish creators here who could do an infinitely better job. i’m sure jean menzies has been mentioned in the threads before but she’s from edinburgh and actually cares about the areas of history she specialises in & content she puts out.

 

[Griftwood]

Um when is Monday August 12th, because I’m pretty fucking sure it’s not today

 

[Green Lion]

I’ve never seen someone so committed to ignorance.

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Love the replies as well haha

Also I'm just going to leave this here

 

[Whisper2Me]

omg A new video about resetting herself. Didn't she just reset after resetting during her vacation? Is she an android that needs to get recharged and defragged every few weeks? This is pure nonsense. She doesn't even go back until October. So this must be the pre-fall reset, aka the "I'm so jealous of everyone starting year 7 because I want to be a child again, so let's pretend we are going back to school and not Uni!" reset. Seriously? Reality check, please? I would love to throw her into retail and see how she performs in a basic undergrad job. Then I would like to stuff her in an office and see how she fares with life in a cubicle. No time for twirling. Often no window! Just noise, chaos, and phones ringing off the hook.

 

[bookworm39]

i reset every night. When I come home from work, chill, do chores, make dinner and prep lunches.

Same.

Loved the comment about how changing your bedding helps with resetting as well. Was that one of you?

 

[heather_83]

Do we think Ruby has ever had a shag? Because my god a good rogering is exactly what she needs.

 

[gossip_guy]

I know its been said before, but how much was her course again?

£14,480 for the course fees, plus she'll have to pay for accommodation/living costs, etc.

It's not like she'll miss the money, but £30,000+ is a ridiculous amount to waste on a degree that she has no actual interest in, won't open any doors for her, won't enjoy and that she's already tipping her hand that she'll do everything she can to cheat her way through and not learn a damn thing.

 

[Whisper2Me]

omg

1. Taking a taxi back and forth to work. Spoiled brat, much?
2 Making the "executive" decision not to go out and have drinks with friends. As if anything would have tempted her to go out and have drinks. lol
3. Demon Copperfield; "I'm sure I've heard of this..." she says with a completely blank look on her face.
4. The dead flowers all over her window space. Just a perfect summary of her life, so far.
5. Why does she keep saying she is sooooo tired? After working twice a week, for a few hours and someone else doing all the driving? wtf?
6. Why.....why? Why is anyone even interested in buying poetry by this idiot? People, please!
7. The continually receding hairline....
8. Beet red face, but wearing a sweatshirt. Yeah, that's using your brains, Rubbish.
9. Constantly talking about how everything went so well and she is on a high. If you have to announce it, you are only trying to convince yourself.
10. "My team. I mean, one other person." That is some team, Rubes!
11. Eating donuts in the pouring rain. Rain? I don't see pouring rain. Am I missing something here? Probably not.
12. Looks at llamas. Llamas look at her. Doesn't pet a single one. Will probably be one of her favourite, most treasured moments of the summer....
13. Gives present to her mother because she was away this week. So you give presents because they went away, because they came back? Huh? lol
14. July plan. And here we are, almost into August. As usual, she is about a month off, or more. Such dedication, devotion, great work ethics. Nope!
15. Girl desperately needs to learn how to do makeup. Get her a few blending brushes.
16. The grandmother lace shawl. omg
17. Seen photos from all of these days, on her Insta, ages ago.
18. Booking for a trip with her best friend. Yeah, we know, Ruby. Your only friend. Already on the trip. More late and useless information.
19. The filthy house. Need I say more?
20. Last scene; tipping over a glass to put a flower in, spilling out half the water. Her brain cells are dying off by the second!

 

[gossip_guy]

She can't even be bothered with a lip service advertisement of PONKINPODDERTIFTEA notebook to even try to make it vaguely convincing that she's ever used their products outside of ads, she just advertises the planner and some crappy stickers because they're releasing soon and that's it.

She's totally given up on any pretence that she ever "yeezes" PONKEPODTIFTI's crappy, overpriced notebook and has gone all in on Moleskine. She AWWHWHEYS has them with her and AWWLWHEEYSSSSS YEEZES THAM and they're her FAVOURITE brand and she buys them ACKSKLYOOOSIVELY. She'll have about as much luck with Moleskine sponsor-begging as she has with Waterstones.

It should be a dead giveaway that she never used a single one of those shitty, shitty PONKUPODTFTI products unless it was to advertise them. As soon as it becomes financially pointless to lie about a product, she instantly stops. But since she convinced her management to eke out one last planner release, she's still having to unconvincingly advertise those. "It's the planner that oiy desoigned, OFFCWOARSE OIY'M GYOWING TYOO YEEZE THAT PLANNER." Spoilers: She didn't design it and she won't use it outside of ads.

Also hilarious: Ruby is acting like the new academic year has arrived and you must plan for it yesterday, yet even after what she claims is a year of planning, the last PONKERPLODDITREE planner (which looks identical to all the others) still hasn't been printed and assembled. I hope even her gullible fans have sense enough to see through this lazy, money-grabbing bullshit and buy elsewhere.

(Sheet still unchanged after over 2.5 months. Constantly making contact with the dusty floor for maximum filthiness. Even the bedding she did change has now gone unwashed for nearly a month and a half.)

Ruby's back on her nonsensical performative poverty bullshit. She wasted £750+ on an iPad Pro and keyboard combo that she didn't need since she owns an iMac, a MacBook and an iPad, but tries desperately to convince everyone that she's VARRY PWOOR and this was a VARRY SOSSTAINABLE PARRCHASE because it was (GASP) SACKOND-HAAHHND.

Then she mentions that she can't believe that she got this, like she never thought she'd be able to afford it, even though she's had over a dozen holidays in the past year, lives rent-free in a manor, gets paid thousands for lazy ads, is a landlord, etc.

Almost half this video is devoted to her showing off her new iPad for some reason.

She might want to skip the Master's course and take a basic ESL course. Her English is getting worse and worse. "Recyckable." "Hamwritten." Plus all her mangled syllables and interchangeable vowels.

 

[bananapeel]

I came across this online and I laughed so hard because we have constantly been calling Ruby's dark academia fad 'dark macadamia'. It even has the picture of those boarding school children that she put on her Nyootion page.