her house looks huge but her room is all cramped up. I wonder how much money the family is bringing in
Ruby Granger #36 Pumpkin Bread Activity
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I understand this is probably a joke but part of me hopes Marfa actually realises this 
(From her tiktok of Ruby reading at the airport)
(From her tiktok of Ruby reading at the airport)
tbh, I probably would also read while waiting at the airport/train station etc. there is nothing wrong with reading while sitting and waiting somewhere.
yeah but imagine you are ruberta's sister, constantly subjugated to her hijinks. you want to go to the bathroom before bed - there is ruby, sitting on the toilet for the past hour, electric toothbrush buzzing in her mouth while she is reading, spraying her hardcover/ebook reader/ipad/whathever with toothpaste. you come downstairs to have breakfast and you find ruby mixing her gruel on the stovetop, banana smoothie concoction covers every surface, yet she has a book in her hand, flipping through it. you thought an evening stroll in the garden would be a good idea?? THINK AGAIN, because ruby of course decided it is a good idea to read by the candlelight when it's windy and below freezing. no place is safe from ruby and her reading.
These quotes are killing me. I have this vision of Ruby painstakingly going though her draft and looking for a synonym for every word over five letters, so that she can sound more intellectual. It’s the only reason I can see for so many of her word choices almost, but not quite, conveying what was clearly the original intention.
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We all know that Ruby cosplays as ol’ Cherrymenthol on World Book Day …I understand this is probably a joke but part of me hopes Marfa actually realises this
(From her tiktok of Ruby reading at the airport)View attachment 2001014
and her parents: they want to spend a romantic evening in the garden and suddenly there is Ruby sitting in the darkness by a candle in the drug shed. with a book, wearing a Victorian nightgown
OT: That's awesome, congratulations! I wish I had access to your resources haha, I'm trying to read my way through them but some context comes in handy here and there. Are you enjoying the course?OT I just got the grade for my first Open University course, History of Literature I (Greek and Roman literature), and I got the top grade!
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Now we know why Ruby is allergic to a better hair cut
The loss of order would be just too much for her nerves. /faints/I've said it before, but I'd love to see her do a video where she does a deep dive revisit of it and explains what she was thinking when she wrote it, what she thinks of it now, what she'd do differently. I think she'd need to be honest for that video to work though, and I don't think she's capable of that.
Other than the note in her video descriptions to say she's a bit embarrassed by it, she hasn't spoke of it since. But she's still happily selling it, and Lottie Parton seemed to be the exact same book written again through the lens of some stolen YA mystery tropes, so I think the only think she's disappointed and embarrassed by is that she self-published and didn't get huge success and a publishing deal at 17.
I hope she realises that self-publishing was one of her better decisions and gives us Lottie Parton to cringe though and laugh at soon.
Erimentha Parker Chapter 16:
Plot -
- Ruby gets sad about her new hair cut. Mum comes to say goodnight and suggests they invite Kimberly's family over at some point to thank them for hosting
- Ruby is still adamant she isn't being bullied, but also read through a load of self help sites for bullying. She has come to the conclusion to just ignore them
- Kimberly and the girls notice she is ignoring them, pointing out Ruby is usually so opinionated (this is meant to be a mean comment, but it is true so I don't really get what Ruby is trying to achieve)
- Ruby presents Mr Aldridge with her history timeline to replace the tit one him and his class made and he give her three housepoints and lots of praise.
- Because Ruby's mother is useless, she didn't book Ruby into the later tennis slot so she had to miss her lesson. She emails her tennis friends asking how it went but they don't respond
- Mum is going to go food shopping and offers to take Ruby, but she doesn't want to go since Kimberly's family shops there. Even if that does mean missing out on getting a magazine and looking at autumn snacks!
Quotes -
- "Kimberly was right: you can't see it when my hair is down, but the ugly tuft is more than evident when I put it up. It juts out like a compound fracture" (Did not think I would be reminded of my time on the orthopaedic surgical ward when reading a book on bullying ...)
-"I hear mum knock on the door and quickly pull at the hair band, catching a loop of hair painfully which requires an incredible yank"
- "She kisses me on the forehead. Her lips are damp with the smell of toothpaste" (this quote is about her mum btw)
- "My tears are quickly absorbed by the open page of my book. It's like when you pour a bucket of water on damp sand at the beach - it will darken bt the water soon seeps far below, quickly restoring the colour of the sand"
Plot -
- Ruby gets sad about her new hair cut. Mum comes to say goodnight and suggests they invite Kimberly's family over at some point to thank them for hosting
- Ruby is still adamant she isn't being bullied, but also read through a load of self help sites for bullying. She has come to the conclusion to just ignore them
- Kimberly and the girls notice she is ignoring them, pointing out Ruby is usually so opinionated (this is meant to be a mean comment, but it is true so I don't really get what Ruby is trying to achieve)
- Ruby presents Mr Aldridge with her history timeline to replace the tit one him and his class made and he give her three housepoints and lots of praise.
- Because Ruby's mother is useless, she didn't book Ruby into the later tennis slot so she had to miss her lesson. She emails her tennis friends asking how it went but they don't respond
- Mum is going to go food shopping and offers to take Ruby, but she doesn't want to go since Kimberly's family shops there. Even if that does mean missing out on getting a magazine and looking at autumn snacks!
Quotes -
- "Kimberly was right: you can't see it when my hair is down, but the ugly tuft is more than evident when I put it up. It juts out like a compound fracture" (Did not think I would be reminded of my time on the orthopaedic surgical ward when reading a book on bullying ...)
-"I hear mum knock on the door and quickly pull at the hair band, catching a loop of hair painfully which requires an incredible yank"
- "She kisses me on the forehead. Her lips are damp with the smell of toothpaste" (this quote is about her mum btw)
- "My tears are quickly absorbed by the open page of my book. It's like when you pour a bucket of water on damp sand at the beach - it will darken bt the water soon seeps far below, quickly restoring the colour of the sand"
That makes even more sense now regarding how she claimed she was bullied but wasn’t aware of it at the time. Truth is they were bullying each other so it’s even imo
Though actually I’m not sure I believe she was actually bullied in the first place. The „bullying” scenarios in the book are so out of place and unrelatable as if a middle aged woman was trying to imagine what school kids are 30 years later. I think she was absolutely insufferable and kids basically disliked her which she decide was bullying.
Erimentha Parker Chapter 17:
Plot -
- The girls are in textiles and are making felt. Kimberly asks to borrow the bottle of soapy water. Ruby says no and she will have to wait. Kimberly takes the orange soap water and sprays it on Ruby. Kimberly threatens to spray it on Ruby's face unless she admits she is scared of her.
- Things get a bit weird, dark and unrealistic. Kimberly takes Ruby to the bathroom to help her 'clean up'. She then blocks the door and shows Ruby she smuggled a sewing needle into her jumper. She threatens Ruby and basically makes Ruby agree to lie and not tell her parents what happened to her shirt. I have included the full quote of her "stabbing" Ruby because it is just weird, unnecessary and just completely the wrong tone for a book aimed at kids. Just remember as well its a needle, not a knife
- After that whole event, Ruby changes into her spare uniform and throws away the orange stained shirt so her mum won't find out
- Ruby starts spending her lunches sat next to Ella in the library (Kimberly's younger sister who is year 5 I think?)
- One day Ruby goes to the library and Ella is crying. Turns out she is being bullied by two girls in her class. Ruby says they should tell her teacher. Ella asks if Ruby will tell a teacher about her bullying as well and Ruby says no, saying she isn't being bullied and that she is older and can cope with it (great advice to give a kid ...)
- Ella is scared to tell the teacher and Ruby decides to let the child continue being bullied since it might not fully be counted as repetitive yet
Quotes -
- "On Wednesday, we make felt in textiles and, as is customary, I am rather ahead of my classmates" (I have no words)
- "For a second I just stare blankly, unable to comprehend the hatred in those icy eyes"
- "A broken stream of rich orange flies in an arch between us and the dye seeps through the cotton of my shirt like blood from a wound" (Ruby please stop reminding me of working in surgery I hate this)
- "She stops and directs the nozzle at my face, holding it so close that it is blurry: light focused behind the retina"
- "Before I have a chance to move away, she has grabbed my wrist sharply. My carpal bone aches against her strong hands" (I am begging you please stop)
- "She takes the needle and hovers it over the inside of my arm, tracing the skin in mid air as though deciding the best point of contact. Then she lowers it: carefully and deliberately. The tip of the needle presses so hard against the sallow epithelial tissue that a depression forms in the skin. Applying the same pressure, she moves down my arm, leaving a trail of white and I watch quietly. She pauses when she reaches my central forearm, her eyes boring into my forehead, and mine focused on the needle: mesmerised. She pushes down. Hard. It pierces the skin and a bead of blood swells from the pinprick, growing to the size of a pea before trickling down towards the crease of my elbow. She washes the needle under the tap and threads it back through her jumper as I nurse the small wound with my mouth, wincing at the metallic crimson on my tongue" (small PSA, if you do get a sharps injury from a dirty needle like this, please don't lick the blood, let the wound bleed and then wash it and get medical assistance)
- "My epiglottis seizes up, as though I have swallowed a tablet withiut water"
Plot -
- The girls are in textiles and are making felt. Kimberly asks to borrow the bottle of soapy water. Ruby says no and she will have to wait. Kimberly takes the orange soap water and sprays it on Ruby. Kimberly threatens to spray it on Ruby's face unless she admits she is scared of her.
- Things get a bit weird, dark and unrealistic. Kimberly takes Ruby to the bathroom to help her 'clean up'. She then blocks the door and shows Ruby she smuggled a sewing needle into her jumper. She threatens Ruby and basically makes Ruby agree to lie and not tell her parents what happened to her shirt. I have included the full quote of her "stabbing" Ruby because it is just weird, unnecessary and just completely the wrong tone for a book aimed at kids. Just remember as well its a needle, not a knife
- After that whole event, Ruby changes into her spare uniform and throws away the orange stained shirt so her mum won't find out
- Ruby starts spending her lunches sat next to Ella in the library (Kimberly's younger sister who is year 5 I think?)
- One day Ruby goes to the library and Ella is crying. Turns out she is being bullied by two girls in her class. Ruby says they should tell her teacher. Ella asks if Ruby will tell a teacher about her bullying as well and Ruby says no, saying she isn't being bullied and that she is older and can cope with it (great advice to give a kid ...)
- Ella is scared to tell the teacher and Ruby decides to let the child continue being bullied since it might not fully be counted as repetitive yet
Quotes -
- "On Wednesday, we make felt in textiles and, as is customary, I am rather ahead of my classmates" (I have no words)
- "For a second I just stare blankly, unable to comprehend the hatred in those icy eyes"
- "A broken stream of rich orange flies in an arch between us and the dye seeps through the cotton of my shirt like blood from a wound" (Ruby please stop reminding me of working in surgery I hate this)
- "She stops and directs the nozzle at my face, holding it so close that it is blurry: light focused behind the retina"
- "Before I have a chance to move away, she has grabbed my wrist sharply. My carpal bone aches against her strong hands" (I am begging you please stop)
- "She takes the needle and hovers it over the inside of my arm, tracing the skin in mid air as though deciding the best point of contact. Then she lowers it: carefully and deliberately. The tip of the needle presses so hard against the sallow epithelial tissue that a depression forms in the skin. Applying the same pressure, she moves down my arm, leaving a trail of white and I watch quietly. She pauses when she reaches my central forearm, her eyes boring into my forehead, and mine focused on the needle: mesmerised. She pushes down. Hard. It pierces the skin and a bead of blood swells from the pinprick, growing to the size of a pea before trickling down towards the crease of my elbow. She washes the needle under the tap and threads it back through her jumper as I nurse the small wound with my mouth, wincing at the metallic crimson on my tongue" (small PSA, if you do get a sharps injury from a dirty needle like this, please don't lick the blood, let the wound bleed and then wash it and get medical assistance)
- "My epiglottis seizes up, as though I have swallowed a tablet withiut water"
I'm getting Trainspotting vibes. Tablets, needles, bead of blood, mesmerised, pinprick, best point of contact.
Bloody hell.
As for 'carpal bone'...which one? My father is an orthopaedic surgeon with a Sports Medicine practice, so I've heard him name the various carpal bones quite often lol.
But i have a serious question. If the bully's eyes are boring in to Ruby's forehead, but Ruby's eyes are focused and mesmerised on the needle being dragged down her forearm, how does she know that the bully's eyes are boring in to her forehead? She can't do first person AND the all seeing narrator at the same time. It just doesn't work.
It’s actually gifted and talented writing FOR A TWELVE YEAR OLD- precocious turn of phrase. Ruby would have got a tick for it at like twelve and just never developed 
Oh Jesus. She's here. No one is safe
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I must have had a premonition of her arrival because I live in Milan but we actually left the city for the weekend lmao.
I think Martha's just providing an assist to Ruby’s fake persona grift at this point.I understand this is probably a joke but part of me hopes Marfa actually realises this
(From her tiktok of Ruby reading at the airport)View attachment 2001014
Even if it's jokey and self-deprecating, the stuff Martha posts featuring Ruby essentially reinforces the "Ruby is hyperintelligent, Ruby works harder than anyone, Ruby reads more than anyone" narrative, with a bit of "I'm the cool black sheep" thrown in.
Ruby's already shown her hand hundreds of times and given away that she ain't doing any of the tit she claims in videos and she's dumb as a bag of rocks. Martha would've been in the house when most of Ruby's videos were filmed and well aware that almost all of them were staged, her accent isn't real, and "day in the life" vlogs were filmed across multiple days to make her look more productive. She'll know better than anyone how fake Ruby is.
I'm guessing she helps boost Ruby's ego because having her sister in videos gets her a huge boost in views and subscribers, she keeps Ruby and her parents happy and she'll get taken on holidays. Whereas her parents would probably disown her and send her out to sea if she upset the golden child.
At my place, YouTubers who don’t do sponsorship in a proper way, get fined. Almost 60000 dollars.
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