Ruby Granger #35 Hello, it's Flu-bee!

[Green Lion]

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PONKIN PODDOTIFFTI = "Permanent Productivity." That's one hell of a funny misnomer for a brand that won't be around much longer.

Had to do a double-take when I saw the number of the chapter she planned to write, because the way she has written that down looks like one giant number and tbh I wouldn't even be surprised if she was writing chapter 190200210220230240 at this point

 

[gossip_guy]

She doesn't possess the rawness needed to LARP as Cathy. She recites the lines so fucking politely. Where is the darkness? The despair? The pain? The simultaneous love and hatred?

Spoilers: She didn't read it, so she likely has no idea that any of things are part of the book. She's picked isolated sections to read from a book she pretended to finish and doesn't know their context.

This is how she approaches every "dramatic reading" of every book she "JANUINELY VARRY MUCH HONESTLY RADD, OIY PROMISE YOO", regardless of their content, and she can never be bothered to figure out the context and tone of even sample passages.

She reads everything with the same OIY'M AMMA WATSON, OIY AM mangled accent, in the exact same tone, with the exact same pensive cadence and faux-wistful intonations. Always fake-smiling her way through it, chuckling slightly as she approaches the end of every sentence and shaking her head and waggling her eyebrows like she's remembering her time with Heathcliff and Cathy because oh, what a characters they are according to Sparknotes! You can actually hear her doing a fake smile/wistful chuckle at the end of every sentence.

But if she thinks it's A VARRY SERIOUS part, there will be no smiling, only deathly HOW DAHHR YOO glares. But her overall tone stays the same.

And, of course, it's all just a MISPA TEENA ad.

 

[pinkmug]

Ruby will probably commend Heathcliff on his productivity, "Heathcliff kept a list where he made a mark depending on whether Cathy was with him or the Lintons."

"A morning routine of Hareton Earnshaw and his ethanolic father."

ETHANOLIC

 

[pinkmug]

Some of the finest writing I have seen were in obscure fanfics I came across on Ao3, Ruby wishes she were on the same level tbh.

 

[Griftwood]

We shouldn't categorically disapprove of everything Ruby does. She seems happy in her van short video, as well as Blakeney. I am glad she is spending some time with people other than her family, and one good thing about Blakeney is that she definitely didn't befriend Ruby just because of her social media following. Otherwise she would have a public profile somewhere. So it does seem like an authentic friendship.

I definitely don’t disapprove of her spending time with Blakeney and doing silly things with her. It’s just the fact that this, too, was a content opportunity for her, and for sure she’s doing it because she expects a collab with a publisher to pay off in the medium to long term for her.

 

[Griftwood]

lol she’s on TikTok banging on about Shakespeare and quoting plays she hasn’t even read (sorry Roobs but if it ain’t on Goodreads, we all know you haven’t even hit the Sparknotes) What a fucking fraud.

 

[anakinskywalkers]

I think it's a speech-to-text add-in thing she's using. She uses it fairly often for reels and it's always wrong in some way and she never checks or takes a second shot at it. If human beings can't tell what the fuck she's saying half the time, it's no shock that a computer AI has no clue.

Think you’re out of a job mate. Instagram is coming up with its own variations of “Pumpkin Productivity”, you need to step up

 

[cheemstur]

500% sure she's definitely going to get bullied for her Jo March cosplay and 'frolicking on the fields' gimmicks when her students find out about her social media presence. Teenagers can be a handful, too. Did she ever think any of this through? Lol

 

[paulpercy666]

This is such an unnecessary comment but I wish she’d sort her hair out?? Like even just brush it properly before tying it up ffs

 

[StatusWoe]

Apparently J.D. Salinger may or may not have encouraged writing things just to burn them to focus on "the pro-sass" and not the "dass-tinayshun".

Just because someone's well-known as an author it doesn't mean their advice will be useful. J.D Salinger was a notably weird man who followed all sorts of fads. Let's hope Ruby doesn't see his reclusive life as something to emulate! I mean, William Burroughs may have popularised the cut-up technique, but he was also a lifelong addict who shot his wife in the head so...

if a turd was reincarnated as a darker, more worrying turd.

I wish this could be a thread title.

 

[MissTomato]

their mother made them use old socks to wipe their butts during lockdown to save toilet paper. leanring anything from that woman would not benefit ruby at all....

although the two of them seem very close and like-minded. so she probably is already learning a lot from her and her mom is giving her advice on how to look presentable at work. just like your mother stops you to the door to make you change into better pantyhose, ruby's mother probably stops her at the door to hug her really tight to make sure her clothing gets wrinkled. (who am i kidding ? she drives her to work. but you get my gist lol )

 

[gossip_guy]

oh goody, I’ve been dying to know what she does in the mornings

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I especially like her trying to pretend she takes multiple passes at her videos and doesn't just crap out whatever shitty, garbled mess she stitches together on the first try without taking another glance.

And her Instagram "day in the life" is comprised of only quick story posts and yet she's managed to cram in 4 ads, 1 of which is undeclared.

 

[Griftwood]

But pushing yourself is how you grow.

The entire premise of her ”university might not be the best time of your life” video was how she tried to push herself in her second year and concluded that going outside of your comfort zone = bad.

 

[Deeznutslol]

I found a stream recording!



Oh my god, it's an absolute trainwreck and she's only just started talking.

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The look of utter confusion and disdain on this person's face as she's forced to endure Roobee waving her claw hand around and ramble on about snowflakes being ephemeral in her fake Emma Watson accent.

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Pure despair. I love it.



This was supposed to be a joke and she's gone and done it. It's not even been a minute and she's mentioned JAN Z's cyberbollying stroggles and pulled a quote pulled from Ian McEwan. All that's left is the tea.

Anddd she's quoting more people. Jesus. At least she's up first so the audience will have forgotten about her once the rest of the panel have said things that make sense.

Is there any brave soul who can watch this and give the rest of us a run down of what she says?
I’ve had to turn it off within 30s of her talking coz I’m just dying of cringe .

 

[moosesauna]

The thing about this entire video that really grinds me is that she feels so sorry for the Brontes and what kind of literature they had to read. The Pilgrim's Progress is a classic for a reason. Centuries of people grew up on it and even in Little Women they played "Pilgrims" and their entire life referred back to it. The Brontes, the Alcotts, and everyone else loved this book and its influence on how to live a good life. Okay, Rubes, you are not Christian and it means nothing to you. But for those who were, which includes basically all the famous American and British authors of the 19th century, this book was treasured and even families who had very few books in their possession usually owned the famous five. A Bible, Book of Common Prayer, The Pilgrim's Progress, a book on gardening or sermons, and an almanac. If a book doesn't have a rich white girl living a dreamy life in a boarding school or with a new family (this says something about how she feels about her own family) , she doesn't like it. Her opinions just show how narrow minded she is and how restricted her reading has been over the past 22 years.

Why is she so amazed over a book on birds being highly descriptive and informative? That is what non fiction usually is. Especially a guide book. I mean, wtf is going on in her mind, or should I say that very small space between her eyes?

And omg the arm and the claw. Just stop gesticulating all the time. I want to tie her freaking arms to the chair. It gets worse and worse. Just another stupid video from a very stupid woman.

The Brontes' father was a clergyman, and they lived in an era that was known for being moralistic and encouraging people to live a 'Christian life', so it's natural that their reading material would be religious! I'm not a fan of The Pilgrim's Progress either - it's not my thing - but it was undoubtedly an important text. That said, I liked that she made an effort to explain her opinions on the books she read this time, and she feels a bit more authentic, at least in the way she admits she disliked things.

 

[laynelo_]

omg nooo. Why would she do this to herself? I knew she was freaking out over the Masters application just a bit more than is usual for a Masters Application. Its interesting that she didn't mention it in her videos. Except here, by accident lol

I remember in a q&a or assumptions video I think? She stated she was interested in a Cambridge masters so I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s applying to it still alongside Oxford which is just further adding to her stress. I think it’s pretty safe to say that any other unis she’s possibly applied to apart from Oxbridge are all RG unis relatively near her. Wouldn’t be shocked if she’s applied to Exeter again as a ‘back up’ too

 

[gossip_guy]

Was that the premiere where she went in ‘school uniform’ in an attempt to cosplay the book? That was … weird.

Yes! With a tailcoat for good measure, just in case they asked her to conduct an orchestra while she was there or something.

 

[gossip_guy]

How...? Did she not check it before posting on stories? I'm so confused. Pumpkin bread activity

I think it's a speech-to-text add-in thing she's using. She uses it fairly often for reels and it's always wrong in some way and she never checks or takes a second shot at it. If human beings can't tell what the fuck she's saying half the time, it's no shock that a computer AI has no clue.

 

[Whisper2Me]

Is there a strict dress code for teachers at her school? The whole uniform look is giving me Miss Trunchbull vibes. Is this what her life is going to be all about? She was the so-called bullied child, so now she is going to take revenge on innocent younger school kids for the kicks of it? Because that is literally what I am picking up here. I still cannot understand why, if she was bullied so badly in school, she would actually want to teach at the same place. You disassociate with negative places and move on. You don't go crawling back for more.

 

[xoxoxo13]

Ruby would probs like this degree haha It’s at Bristol so prestigious enough! Maybe a masters http://www.bristol.ac.uk/study/undergraduate/2023/childhood-studies/bsc-childhood/

No, Ruby wants to BE the child haha