Ruby Granger #35 Hello, it's Flu-bee!

[anakinskywalkers]

Had to do a double-take when I saw the number of the chapter she planned to write, because the way she has written that down looks like one giant number and tbh I wouldn't even be surprised if she was writing chapter 190200210220230240 at this point

We’ll be on thread 190200210 and she’ll still be doing the same old shit

 

[LaBlonde]

Ruby is trying to light a candle outside in the wind 🫣

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there is absolutely, on no level, any chance that she really understood the darkness of wuthering heights, it’s really a book about obsession rather than love (that’s what makes it such an interesting read!)

to quote below, get a job, stay away from her! yet another fictional character who needs to protected from wuby

 

[gossip_guy]

Thanks to Ruby's sloppy makeup and editing, literally within 1 frame, the position, size, shape and volume of her fake freckles has completely changed.

Her dog must be a Tattler because once again, Lola just starts absolutely howling in anguish as soon as Ruby starts spouting her usual drivel about the BrontYAY sisters and WAHRDSWAARTH and just doesn't stop. Ruby naturally did not bother with any second takes.

"AWLRAYT, syo FARRST..." Ruby is apparently wordshopping new regional accents to phase out her fake Emma Watson voice.

"MORE-al..." Ruby doesn't know how to pronounce "moral".

 

[Open-door]

"I went on a walk early this morning and the mist was curiously evanescent in the sunrise" - does she even read what she writes or a dictionary ? Surely mist is always evanescent or it would be fog.

 

[figgypud]

I'm watching the King Lear segment and I'm trying not to pluck my eyelashes out.

Roobie really does have only one formula for reviewing books: X didn't have as many Y as I expected, therefore X bad.

In this case, King Lear didn't have as many Cordelia lines as she expected, therefore King Lear bad.

She also shoehorns a useless point about how Cordelia would be played by a young boy during Shakespeare's time to appear knowledgeable. That's a fact I learned in primary school and I'm from Eastern Europe, it's hardly impressive. She can only relate to a book if one of the main characters is a child, what a tragic waste of an English literature degree.

She always cracks out the "female characters were played by young boys" tidbit but never makes it into a point. How would this have affected the way that the audience viewed the character?

In As You Like It, Rosalind disguises herself as a man, so this would have been a young boy playing a young girl playing a man - so this would have had visual resonance for the audience and it adds a meta, homoerotic layer to some of the jokes in the play (not sure I've explained that brilliantly). Ruby just throws it in to make herself seem more knowledgeable as you say.

She also never approaches these videos as someone sharing their opinion, she approaches them as someone pretending to be a teacher or as a student doing a quirky class presentation. She states so many things as fact that just aren't backed up.

 

[laynelo_]

I bet a few of the teachers have possibly mistaken her for a student and she loves it I have a baby face and I’m short so I get mistaken for someone much younger (I actually got ID for redbull today!) and it starts getting annoying at a point, especially since I feel like you don’t get taken seriously in certain situations.

I really can’t fathom wanting to regress into your childhood… adulthood is scary but with it comes independence, wisdom, and autonomy. I couldn’t imagine being Ruby’s age and still relying on your parents for absolutely everything, how frustrating is that?

Also I must mention if she even dares to post those ‘back to school’ videos this year I’ll lose it

 

[pinkmug]

I think I preferred her first draft:

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"being an only child" please

 

[gossip_guy]

I'm honestly surprised about how hush hush she has been about the teaching job, as I was honestly expecting her to make the teaching her new identity and adopt a teacher persona just as she has done for everything else such as student, Hermione, a writer etc. I'm surprised that she hadn't done so for online at leat.

I don't know what I was expecting but I had expected at least for her to aspire to be like Miss Honey or an inspirational teacher from a book she read and act like them. I know that there is the safeguarding etc but I was expecting more videos from her in her 'traditional job' as she might be interested. Even if she did a 'teacher outfit' videos that I had expected she would do or a video about how she planned her workload among her writing and youtube. Her last morning routine for 'work,' could easily be used as one of her routines when she was a student in uni /school or unemployed.

I'd wager it's because she does very little, but wants to leave the door open for her more gullible fans to speculate wildly about how important her job is and how hard she works any time she plays coy and refuses to even say what the job is.

It's one of the oldest tricks in her playbook; much like with PONKEHPRODDOTIFTI, she can't shed much light on what she actually does because she doesn't actually do anything and I imagine she's just taking up space, doing menial busywork stuff and generally being a burden to the actual staff.

Plus the less she says, the longer she can string it out if/when she quits early and let people believe she still works there.

She's also been lying about her work outfit choices. The only 'work outfit of the day' video she filmed was filmed on a weekend, when there was no school, and naturally she featured gifted, twee MISSPAH TEEENAH cat collar and school uniform cosplay.

In reality, I suspect this is the kind of thing she's been wearing to work:

She's wearing make-up and more professional and mature clothes, but she just desperately wants to believe she wears all her twee nonsense to work without fear of getting mercilessly roasted by everyone there, so she'll likely just keep using work OOTDs to shove in undeclared ads for gifted children's clothes.

 

[DanBanks]

It is sooo easy to find this forum.

Agreed. I Googled "ruby granger house" and this forum came up multiple times on the first page of results.

I'm disappointed that no one has commented on the fact that she made her bed by...standing on her bed. Who does that? Especially when she has a narrow little twin bed, not yards of king-sized mattress that might conceivably be difficult for a short person to reach across. Even in that case, I can't imagine anyone having to climb up on the bed in order to make it.

Also, I'm convinced her mom is stoned all the time. She always looks so...unfocused. Her house is a disaster, her kids are a mess, and she's just wafting through the chaos with that weird half-smile on her face. Sheesh. I'll have what she's having.

 

[emmer_moans]

Thats actually terrible. Customers who paid full price haven't even received it yet. And then it goes on sale at 30% off. Talk about Monday blues

So she/the team haven't learned / changed from the last experience where there were massive delays? Then they are scum. I feel sorry for the customers who on the whole are likely to be teens who have spent their pocket money on this shocking excuse for a planner

 

[LaBlonde]

I'm still convinced that the sum total of her knowledge of CMBYN is:

1. People on the internet liked it a lot.
2. It takes place in Italy.
3. Someone eats a peach at some point.

She's definitely never read it and not only is she too stupid/lazy to convincingly lie about it, her insistence on waving around books and things she thinks she knows about them will always digs a hole for her.

During her Italy vlog/s she waved the book at the camera like a prop at every opportunity because she wanted people to think she'd read it and it was a TROOLY MAJIKOL ACKSPERIENCE for her to be in Italy, JOHST LOIYKE IN THE BOCK.

And because she hadn't read it, she thought she'd continue this trend by showing that she was also in Italy eating peaches, JOHST LOIKE IN THE BOCK, HOW IMMARRSIVE!

Only she hadn't read it, so she didn't realise the context, then showed herself violently smashing a peach into her face:

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Whoops.

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Sure, Jan.

There's no way you'd just forget about that part of the book, especially if you'd read it twice, once immediately before making this video. She had no clue what happened in the book until she got questioned about it and then lied yet again.

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She's also reviewed it twice and they're both hilariously dumb, suspiciously vague and completely incoherent. Maybe she'll pretend to read it again in 2024 to make a tradition of it.

given that she gets the central character’s name wrong in her re-read review i think our suspicions are confirmed

like you say, there is no way you read that book and forget about the peach scene. i thought of it almost every time i saw a peach for a week afterwards (). it still comes to mind when i see a peach NOW.

her reviews are very floral but ultimately say nothing about what she’s actually read. “so much of this book is internal” - the whole thing is internal. just an incredibly vague way of writing, reminds me of doing english lit a-level and how i would write if i hadn’t actually finished the book yet. just say a lot of things and no one will notice!

 

[Griftwood]

She gets out of bed in her Snoopy pajamas, reads Prince Harry’s masterpiece while brushing her teeth, has green tea, eats breakfast, reads thirty pages, does some research, reads a middle grade book so she can recommend it to the other school children, goes outside, plans her day, checks her email, drinks iced coffee, and conveniently omits the fact that mummy/daddy/grandma drive her to school

Oh and on days she’s not working, she goes to ballet class with her grandmother.

 

[Whisper2Me]

The idea of Ruby working as a teacher for High School age is pretty cringe. Not only is she ill equipped, doesn't have the credits/degree for it, has no prior experience of any kind of work and I've never even heard her talk about actually babysitting anyone, she also still has a major chip on her shoulder for being bullied at this school (isn't it the same one?), will probably have Mommy or Daddy bring her back and forth, like a student, wants to be a student in HS again and bring back her childhood, and she always wants to be friends with the teachers. So, is she going to cozy up to teachers, students, and basically act like everyone's best friend? That isn't teaching. Is she playing another role? Yes. Does she plan to go into teaching? Highly doubtful. But I would not be surprised if she bows out early, making some lame excuse to escape this charade.

 

[Daredevil]

 

[Griftwood]

Seems like the applications (at least for Oxford) closed at the beginning of Jan. I’d imagine she’d be waiting a few weeks until she heard back about them.

Yup, they closed like two days after she was frantically writing her personal statement For someone with several videos telling us how she stopped procrastinating once and for all, she sure leaves a lot of things till the very last minute.

 

[Griftwood]

Little miss ”I know all the words” once again can’t spell her way out of a paper bag. It’s ”paraskevidekatriaphobia”, not ”paraskevadekatkriaphobia”!

 

[Ilaariaa]

Just to add on the whole teaching thing. She made that video about how schools are destroying our desire to learn because they follow a syllabus...does she not realise that's EXACTLY what she will have to do for her job. And she can't be giving her interpretation of the text because she has never had an original thought. So what is she actually going to be doing there. You can't talk about how aesthetic a poem is, you have to mention history, socioeconomic factors of the time, different critics and so much more. Everything she has ever talked about literature wise she was obsessed with because it fits a dark macadamia victorian aesthetic.

Edit: When I was in secondary school, finding my teachers Facebook and lurking through them with my friends was a fun past time. I can't imagine Ruby's students finding her cringe tiktoks and videos... yikes

They're gonna find her Hermione videos aren't they?

 

[Erebus]

This is crazy. Her new job is easily the most interesting thing she's done all year. Yet she chooses to not talk about it at all, why?? Is it possible she actually didn't get the job? Or it's completely different from what she expected and she's disappointed?

 

[Satisfying Click]

Blimey, the Rabbi really went for it, Ruby must have been so triggered

- "The job of a parent is not to make their child happy"
- "We're scared of letting our children do the things that give them freedom"
- "When you say snowflakes melt, they do!"

(Some of that may have been lost in translation with the audio glitch)

 

[slamvs27]

Omigod I'm so embarrassed for her.