Ruby Granger #29 Is it soon yet?

[braginskayas]

It's such an ethically icky position to be in to be so familiar with audience members due to the parasocial relationship. It was weird when rock bands in the 70s did stuff with their groupies, and it's weird now.
[...]
I would say even if there's no sexual impropriety, it's still overfamiliar and breaching the ethics of being an influencer with a young audience.

Yeah. 100% agree with the above. Whether there's anything sinister going on or not, it's still inappropriate for public figures with power and influence (which Ruby does have via her online presence) to befriend their fans, let alone those who are underage. It's the same reason why it's inappropriate for teachers to be friends with their students, or therapists to be friends with their patients regardless of age.

It's also worth mentioning that I've seen plenty of minor scandals involving people who befriended younger fans/online followers in a fully non-sexual way, but still caused them psychological harm by exposing them to things they shouldn't have (drink, drugs, self-harm), or treating them like therapists and demanding advice/emotional support, or just generally behaving in a way these poor kids weren't equipped to handle. Sexual abuse isn't the only thing that can go wrong in these kinds of situations.

While it's impossible to know for sure, Ruby's behaviour does appear innocent and rooted in her desire to re-live her own childhood and feel like 'one of the kids' again, rather than anything sexual. That's ducked up in of itself and she needs serious therapy, but that's beside the point. There are still lines you don't cross, and if Ruby's not mature enough to realise that then I honestly don't think she should be on the internet.

 

[StatusWoe]

This is not to say I suspect her of any specific impropriety. But she has textbook red flags. So to say she's 100 percent trustworthy just because she's young? Because you've seen many videos since she was a minor? Appears asexual? I don't know.

This isn't a direct mention of abuse, but putting it in a spoiler. It also isn't a comment on Ruby specifically.

Spoiler

I knew a p*do. He was a peer, not someone any kind of authority. He had a few of the personality traits/tendencies that you mentioned in your post. He was a model student on the surface, but even within the context of our 'friendship' he was never good with boundaries. I naively believed he was asexual because that's how he came across and he never mentioned having crushes of either gender. I only found out after a police incident where he'd been stalking a young (under-12) girl. Looking back, there were red flags, but it's always easier to dismiss your own instincts as an overreaction. Be wary, people!

ETA: I also think it's the responsibility of people in Ruby's life (be it school or parents) to set stronger boundaries. I know she's technically an adult, but if she's never been told it's inappropriate then she won't know. Her comments sections might hold her accountable, but she can always dismiss this as bullying from strangers.

 

[replace32titles]

Apart from anything else, even if Ruby is 1000% harmless, it's still setting the example that it's ok for adults/celebs/influencers to have a weird and unnecessary interest and that it's ok to trust the next one who comes along who might not be so harmless.

 

[gossip_guy]

ETA: I also think it's the responsibility of people in Ruby's life (be it school or parents) to set stronger boundaries. I know she's technically an adult, but if she's never been told it's inappropriate then she won't know. Her comments sections might hold her accountable, but she can always dismiss this as bullying from strangers.

Absolutely.

Her unhealthy fixation with childhood, other children and being a child again is a huge red flag and it's on full display. There's no way her parents haven't noticed it, considering how she acts, all the creepy pictures of children placed lovingly all over her house, most of her social interactions being with much younger girls and how hyperfocused her interests are in children's literature and TV.

Even if never has any untoward thoughts or intentions, that obsession with staying rooted in childhood is hacking her personal development off at the knees. Her parents should curb that obsession right now and intervene to tell her exactly how unusual and unhealthy it is. But nope, her mother just enables it, films Ruby twirling around the garden dressed like she's 9, chaperones her to school events focused on children and binge-watches Mallory Towers with her, as seen in Ruby's Insta stories the other day.

And even if there's zero intent or thoughts of noncery there with Ruby, Ruby clearly has massive mental health issues that she should be discussing with a therapist and should not be trusted around kids. She's a toxic and exploitative influence on her fans out in the open, I wouldn't for one instant trust her behind closed doors talking to a child. She clearly has no moral compass whatsoever, so god knows what dangerous tit she'd be whispering in their ear, how many meals she'd be telling them to skip, what she'd be guiding them to buy, or what she'd be coaching them to do to become the Ruby proxy that she wants to live vicariously through. And that power dynamic means her young fans are infinitely less likely to question her behaviour.

There's zero reason for Ruby to be socialising with children. She's not a child herself and she's not a healthy influence on anyone. It's a massive red flag regardless of her intentions, and it's indescribably unhealthy for herself and the kids involved. Any interactions with fans should be done out in the open for all to see - it's what her social media platforms are for.

 

[Sausage Surprise !]

It’s essentially an A/A+, you can’t get higher than a 1st class degree, which is what Ruby got. Its hard to compare it to America because it’s rare to get above 70 at undergrad level — but a 70 is a solid piece of work.

When I did a year abroad in America as part of my undergrad, they classified it like below (might not be accurate but it’s roughly right):
76+ = A+
74 = A
70 = A-
66 = B+

So if I got an A it would go down as a 74 on my transcript etc.

Someone on my course at University got a started first,is that still a thing? ( I got a Desmond lol - 2:2)

That was meant to say starred First. I'm blaming autocorrect !

 

[gossip_guy]

"Moiy....FRAND, when she saw me wahhring this outfit befwore, sad that she thought it lyooked loiyke something out of an Enid Blyton book!"

 

[rubysdeadfly]

"Moiy....FRAND, when she saw me wahhring this outfit befwore, sad that she thought it lyooked loiyke something out of an Enid Blyton book!"

lmao that is not the compliment she thinks it is "hey you look like a precocious classist child from the 40s who was written by a known racist"

 

[gossip_guy]

lmao that is not the compliment she thinks it is "hey you look like a precocious classist child from the 40s who was written by a known racist"

"Boht they're childran who are AVVER SYO ADVANTUROUS! Johst loiyke me when oiy gyo play in the gahhden whoiyle mummy watches from the window!"

The best part is that she mentions that mummy and daddy are talking loudly to the people who're house sitting. So the only "frand" who would've seen Ruby's outfit is either another relative, or one of her parents' friends.

 

[queencarmen]

everyone is entitled to have their own style but she has literally bullied herself into looking 14 again and its scary

 

[LitNerd]

Her commentary on the whole Head Girl/speech thing

Dear god what did I just read?

Why on Earth has she called it a “service”? I went to a catholic high school so we had a difference between events/assembly’s and services so I find that distinction on her part really weird, this is the one time her calling it an assembly would have been totally fine to just describe what it is

Even better why not just save that ramble for her graduation post, I’m sure we’ll get a rehash of it anyway

 

[morganmichelle]

Spoiler: Ed mentions

I haven't been here or followed what Ruby was up to in like, months, but I did watch a week in her life yesterday and it baffles me how her videos seem to now only be an ed diary and somehow NO ONE notices ? Like that Jack guy in the comments being like "Never been so excited to read a book" like first omg shut up you lying sack of sunshine (people who act like they are ALWAYS this happy just rub me the wrong way idk) and also like. This is alarming. People who have been stuck with eds since adolescence usually either wake up between the age of 20 and 23 or struggle with it until they die in their 40s. Are people really this oblivious or is it all I see because I've been there ? I'm genuinely worried.

Edit : I also wanna add that she gave my freaking name to her caracter and I'm now mad that I came back to her content, as I could have gone all my life without this knowledge and be perfectly fine. It's already enough that I can never forget her birthday because she has the exact same as my fiance (like same year and all lmao).

"you lying sack of sunshine"

 

[Underjoyed]

I'm so confused I never watched holly Gabrielle but based on this topic I thought she was a recovered study YouTuber who travelled and was into running but I looked her up on TikTok and all her videos are about dancing (professionally?)

I couldn't find Ruby's Italy TikTok btw, did she delete it?

 

[blmrqslm]

An e-girl and a weird wanna be victorian child walk into a bar...
(Martha's storie)

 

[hermionewannabe123]

I started watching Ruby when I was in middle school and going through my Hermione/bookworm/not like the other girls phase. I eventually grew out of it and now have a healthy balance of academia and fun in my independent adult life.

The difference is that while I could just stop clicking on her videos, Ruby had an audience and a monetary incentive to keep up her appearances. Her last video featuring loads of undeclared ads, shoddy drone footage, lazy editing, and a dead bug garnered over 50k views in one day. We can't get inside her head, but I wouldn't be surprised if she feels trapped, unable to experiment with anything other than sad attempts at clinging to childhood.

I don't think Ruby would be the way she is today without the impact of YouTube. Obviously, she could still keep a dirty room, have an eating disorder, and struggle with the transition to adulthood without ever having a social media presence. However, I think the way she has turned out is largely because of the impact of YouTube. Many people live vicariously through her as evidenced by her tiktok comments, so she never felt encouraged to grow up. Along the way she convinced herself that this is how she wants to live her life, and now she finds herself out of uni with no real friends and seemingly no options other than to ride this train to the end.

 

[opal73]

Yeah, I'm still not sure how much of what Ruby portrays online is her true self. I do think she has a lot of issues, is seriously regressing the more she stays at home, lives in a bit of a fantasy world, and is intentionally restricting herself because she wants to look younger than she is (and is instead making herself look much more like a frail old lady in the process).

But it does seem like a big portion of her YouTube persona is faked, her accent certainly is. It's hard to say what she's like outside of the internet but I definitely don't think she has many real friends, other than her parents friends kids or Blakeney or her cousins. Although she does drop the mask a bit on occasion and seems more normal like with Martha. Her audience has certainly encouraged her to continue to make the same types of videos over the years so that may be part of why she's not in a hurry to grow up and get on with her adult life, rather than continue to be attached to being a schoolgirl.

 

[Lasagnacreamcone]

However, I think the way she has turned out is largely because of the impact of YouTube. Many people live vicariously through her as evidenced by her tiktok comments, so she never felt encouraged to grow up. Along the way she convinced herself that this is how she wants to live her life, and now she finds herself out of uni with no real friends and seemingly no options other than to ride this train to the end.

Yeah, I'm still not sure how much of what Ruby portrays online is her true self. I do think she has a lot of issues, is seriously regressing the more she stays at home, lives in a bit of a fantasy world, and is intentionally restricting herself because she wants to look younger than she is (and is instead making herself look much more like a frail old lady in the process).

I think both those comments are spot on. I think Youtube is one of the last thing she needs with her mental state. Because if (IF) there's something in her brain pushing her to live this fantasy life so she doesn't have to deal with trauma or something (again, this is all speculations and I am in no way trying to start a discussion about her personal stuff but I feel it's relevant to my point), seeing herself on video living this fantasy life is not helping her at all. It just pushes the romanticizing (no idea how you write this word) to another level, because she doesn't have to pretend she's living in a movie, she actually is. With an audience. That idolizes her.
I've heard someone say that you can't create happiness for yourself by trying to achieve what you think will make you happy because you can't really know what makes you happy until you're actually there. It's like she's pushing this idea but even further than what people with high expections for themselves usually do. Am I making sense ? I think she has trouble making sense of her own caracter now that she finished her degree. Her new thing seems to be "discover the world that is so wide" and "I like to learn because it's fun!" which I definitely used to do, push this agenda of "I have to learn stuff about stuff" on myself and believing that I actually liked it when I didn't even care. Life hack : don't do that, don't force yourself to learn or to read books because you think that it's something you should like doing. You'll end up not reading or learning at all because you'll think you're not able to do it anymore. Just go with the vibes. That's what we all used to do when we were kids, that's why we were able to actually read and learn when we were kids. It may sound obvious to some people but it did take me like two or three years to understand.
Anyway, I really think getting off Youtube would help her. But I also think she would have to get as obviously ill as Eugenia Cooney for her audience to truly notice there's something wrong (like for real how are people not seeing it, it's the only thing I can see when I watch her videos), and I really do hope she wakes up before that.

 

[shifttea]

can't believe there's been threads on this pretentious gobshite this whole time. I'm going to pour myself a cuppa, put on an weird coat, and read them from the start.

 

[mooncat]

can't believe there's been threads on this pretentious gobshite this whole time. I'm going to pour myself a cuppa, put on an weird coat, and read them from the start.

welcome to rubyland

 

[Welshgal]

can't believe there's been threads on this pretentious gobshite this whole time. I'm going to pour myself a cuppa, put on an weird coat, and read them from the start.

Welcome and don’t forget to mark these threads as one of your read books for this year.

 

[CatCafe234]

Welcome and don’t forget to mark these threads as one of your read books for this year.

I think you’ll find that each post counts as at least a novel. That means we have already read thousands and thousands of books this year. Have a productive week!