but even at uni you can get that (well, not the parents evening, but I'm certain that some parents try to talk to professors and lecturers about their precious child). there is uni politics, "Allgemeiner Studienausschuss" which represents the interests of the students, there are student groups, organisations, student newspapers, ... at least that's the case at my university and other German ones and I'm sure there are similar things at British unis, too. She could have done some voluntary work at uni or get a job as a student assistant wo work more closely with lectures. There are a lot of opportunities. I took some creative writing classes (one took place at a museum). In some cases, you could even get published in the local newspaper (because the lecturer has connections).
(*sigh* I miss some of the things. I'd love to do some writing classes now).
Every university (well, most of them) has student societies. You have the ones involved in liasing with the uni (like the student's union), those involved in politics (usually theres a conservative association, a labour club, a marxist group, and some others), those involved in sport (both amateur and varsity), those for students of a given nationality, and those around random things (cheese, board games, lego, larping, historical re-enactment, Harry Potter, Sci-fi, writing, crafting, debating and many, many more.) It seemed like Ruby was going to do this, as she was involved in her university's Harry Potter society (helping at the fresher's fair in her second year irrc) but she doesn't really talk about it after that. All of these societies have committees and need people to run them. There are loads of opportunities to get into student leadership.
I would argue that these sort of student leadership positions are almost vital to the experience of being a student. I was thoroughly involved in the day to day runnings of a society (being their president at one point, and being involved in the committee for 3 years) and I wrote for their fan zine. There were other societies I flitted through (and learned when to jump from a sinking ship.) You learn a lot about managing and liasing with other adults to organise and run events and other really good skills. I'd a teacher who once said "if it comes down to getting a 2:1 while being involved with student clubs and societies to build friendships, or just working hard to get a first, take the 2:1 every time." Looking back on my time as a student he was completely correct.
Ruby hasn't done this. She's done her usual thing of concentrating really hard on her studies (working harder, not smarter) and expecting herself to be seen as exceptional. As an average student at uni, this will never work (believe me, I was solid lower quartile.) Ruby is, at best, average. She would have been much better off expanding herself and being more involved in extracurriculars. She would have developed as a person greatly.
It seems the forum has moved on from the question of is Ruby a creepster or not, and this is good. Statistically, she's probably not going to transgress boundaries. She's probably just a boring, immature idiot living in filth.
But to those who confidently declare “I'm 100 percent sure” and “She's absolutely not a pedophile”, you have no way of knowing this from her generic social media presence. I am NOT making an argument that she has sexual motivatons when she crosses boundaries with minors (attending school functions or letter-writing to underage fans). What I'm saying is please don't be naive. You have no idea who this person really is from her edited social media presence and the red flags are there - sexual repression (likely self-inflicted), mental health issues, narcissistic tendencies, and enabling support system. Even if she is completely benign, these are sirens sounding and it seems bizarre for anyone to back her innocence 100 percent.
The most successful predatory people hide in plain sight. They may even wear oversized collars and prance in fields. If you'd confidently have this cretin babysit your under 16 year old, knowing what you know about her idealizations of youth, specific fixations, compulsive lying, and boundary-crossing, I'd be disturbed.
This is not to say I suspect her of any specific impropriety. But she has textbook red flags. So to say she's 100 percent trustworthy just because she's young? Because you've seen many videos since she was a minor? Appears asexual? I don't know.
I've been lucky/savvy enough to avoid major victimization so far in my lifetime, but it blows my mind that people would defend Ruby despite knowing her dreadful character otherwise and seeing her personality dysfunction play out in real time week after week on social media. I don't think it's right to condemn her, but it's certainly not an overstep to call her behaviour “creepy”. Please don't be naive with those you interact with day to day - people give you signs of who they are and it's human nature to balk at the big, heavy, weird stuff and dismiss when really should just put a wall up. My wall is I'd absolutely not want this young woman corresponding with a minor in my household.
Not to drag us off topic, but I think Ruby is in danger of a Projared-esque situation. For those who either don't know or don't remember, a few years back, projared was accused of a number of things such as: Cheating on his wife, running sexual roleplays with viewers, and having inappropriate conversations with minors. Now, I am happy he has more or less exhonorated himself on the final charge (There were 2-3 accusations from minors, one of which he never talked to, and the others lied about their age when asked.) I also don't hold the first charge against him because I don't think that should all have been aired so publically.
The middle charge is the one I want to hone in on (and the other two I don't want to talk about, really. No matter where you sit on those, you have to admit the very idea of these nsfw blogs was wrong.) Jared did try to ensure he was only interacting with adult viewers, but he shouldn't have been doing this at all. It does not do for a creator to be overfamiliar with their audience in this fashion, and he admits this (having said at the time he was going into therapy to deal with it.) It's such an ethically icky position to be in to be so familiar with audience members due to the parasocial relationship. It was weird when rock bands in the 70s did stuff with their groupies, and it's weird now.
I am not accusing Ruby of sexual impropriety with these fans, but I am saying she has waded into very sticky territory in becoming so familiar with younger fans. She is in a position of power over these kids (regardless of her age, really) , and should hence not be fraternising with them. It's not even that 20 somethings should not be interacting with teens. Teens need intergenerational connections with adults in their lives to help them see where their lives could lead, it's healthy. The operative phrase there, however, is "in their lives" not random influencers they idolise on the internet!
So yeah, you've hit the nail completely on the head here. I would say even if there's no sexual impropriety, it's still overfamiliar and breaching the ethics of being an influencer with a young audience.
You have my condolences
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