Please be a joke please be a joke please be a joke please be a joke pl
Seriously though, not to state the obvious, but this is entirely just self-insert wish-fulfilment from Ruby. I'm genuinely curious as to whether Kimberl(e)y was based on one singular person from her class or an amalgamation of different people.
The most important revelation is the log of "misdeeds" compiled for her classmates. Now the question is - bearing in mind that we already know Ruby has a tendency to log her friends and their interests away in planners like data to be filed - did Ruby keep the same log of "evidence" in real life (absolutely) and does she still have this encyclopedia of criminal misdeeds, just in case she ever reencounters these people later in life (almost certainly)?
I can just imagine Ruby getting a job after graduating and realising she now works with someone she went to school with. We'll call her Kimberli.
On her second day at her new job, Ruby's favourite quill is misplaced.
'I am once again a victim of that crime most heinous: Bullying!' Ruby thinks to herself, probably aloud and at high volume.
She pulls her boss aside and notifies them of this horrible transgression against her. Her boss politely asks why Ruby's using a quill in a data entry job, where everything's computerised.
Ruby grimaces. 'Bullied, yet again!' she thinks to herself, as her boss's calm-voiced, even-toned question hits her like an accusatory slap in the face. 'But one crime at a time, Ruby. File this information away in your mind, later you can transcribe it to paper with your backup quill and ink, then copy that to a planner document, and then present it to HR to unveil your manager's savage bullying. But first, the matter of the quill heist!'
Ruby insists that has been the victim of a dormant bullying campaign dating back to high school, which has now been reignited.
"Kimberli has stolen my quill!" Ruby shrieks fancifully. "And I have proof!"
Kimberli leans to look out through the breakroom doorway - where she's been for quite some time, enjoying a bagel - to see the new girl Ruby, who looks vaguely familiar to her, flailing her arms and screaming about "ceremonial quills" and something that sounded like "corporeal restitution." She wanders over to join the crowd that has gathered around the display of craziness.
"Observe!" Ruby cries, as she foists a binder of paperwork into her boss's hands. "Enclosed you will find five years' worth of compiled evidence against Kimberli K. Kimberlee which proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that she has a storied history of savage bullying against me! And now she has reignited this criminal bullying spree and stolen my most treasured quill pen!"
Ruby's boss leafs through the bizarre binder and glances over a few of the notes.
"April 11th, 2012 - 2:45pm," Ruby's boss reads. "Attempted to engage subject (Kimberli K. Kimberlee) in polite, friendly conversation in school hallway by asking how her weekend had been. She claimed that her nan had died and she didn't wish to talk about it. She then rudely failed to ask how
my weekend was.
Bullying confirmed."
Ruby crosses her arms and nods to her boss with a self-congratulatory smirk, as though her point has been proven. Kimberli looks confused, but continues to eat her bagel.
Ruby's boss flips to another page. "October 2nd, 2015 - 08:45am: Did not receive thankyou note from subject (Kimberli K. Kimberlee) after I recommended to her form tutor that she be given extra homework in Mathematics to increase her future career prospects at retail checkouts.
Bullying confirmed."
"You see?" Ruby asks. "A proven pattern! The only recourse is to fire Kimberli at once!"
Ruby's boss pinches his nose and sighs. "Are you sure you didn't just drop your quill?"
'The bullying continues apace!' Ruby thinks to herself, as she almost faints from the barrage of bullying. 'This is all one giant, coordinated bullying conspiracy!'
Ruby's eyes dart wildly around at each of the staff in fear. The boss is seriously rethinking his hiring decisions when Greg from accounts wanders over, returning from the toilets.
"Do we have stray pigeons in here?" Greg asks as he peels an inky feather from his shoe, having stepped on it when it fell off Ruby's desk earlier in the day.
Ruby's employment is swiftly terminated. She files at least twelve reports to the police for office bullying that very day.