No I don’t think he has. He was very adamant that this is what he wanted, rather than discussing it between us and coming to a mutual decision. It’s hard but I just don’t see where texting him back would get me! Even though I miss him & enjoyed the time we had together, I’m on a bit of a journey of self-care atm, learning new skills and being selfish!
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This is brilliant babe! Good for you!!! X
I wish I could message you directly!!
I am so happy to hear you’re doing well. I totally understand the good and the bad days. In terms of them communicating, it’s like they want everything without commitment. I spent every weekend and multiple days during the week seeing my ex, it was like our old days, so happy and caring for each other. I find out he’s been messaging another woman on Instagram, literally commenting on EVERY post and being a bit of a beg tbh - is he 15? Lol it’s 46! Which although I was so hurt by, it really helped me to realise that he needed to understand life without me.
I won’t be there to support him, hold him or encourage him and It’s kind of time to realise our worth by leaving them in the cold. They’ll come running back but will the trust? I’m not sure. Imagine always wondering if he’ll change his mind again one day, I’m not sure it’s the way I want to live.
It’s a shame I feel I’m mourning a friend, I think about him constantly but to combat this I’ve signed up to kickboxing (something I’ve wanted to do for YEARS), booked in a facial, started to meditate and luckily had very very interesting meeting for potential work which reminds me that you NEVER know what will happen tomorrow. It’s better to take each day as it comes and fill it with happiness. Maybe he’ll be back in my life one day but whatever happens I want to be the best version of myself.
P.s i went through a phase of checking his social media, did you? But now I’ve stopped completely because it’s so toxic and It was only me that it hurt in the end.
It’s a weird one isn’t it? We did talk about meeting up as he said he wanted us to be friends and he stills cares about me (apparently). But to me that is just messing with my head - you either want to be with me or you don’t! And he chose the latter.
At the start I took a weeks leave from work (I’m a PhD researcher) and I spent that week in bed, crying, eating chocolate very stereotypical. But something clicked in me and thought this could be a blessing in disguise. He was a commitment-phobe, gaslighted me several times and I was always left wondering where this is going and if it’s my fault. It’s made it hard because it happened in lockdown but in a way I’m glad I couldn’t go anywhere and just look after myself. I’m learning to drive after years of wanting to do it, I’ve started going to the gym again and I’m looking forward to the future.
I hope you continue to look after yourself. And yes, don’t check any social media!
This is such a great attitude to have, sounds like you are doing great! I had this same conversation last night I said that he wants to carry on talking to me because he knows that while I am talking to him I am not moving on and talking to/dating other guys. And i also found out that he was seeing someone else really quickly after and its just really tainted my view of him but as you said its quite a good thing isnt it.
Yeah we all have that week in bed, god ive had several, but its good to get back out and doing stuff again because its just waiting and wasting your life. xIt’s a weird one isn’t it? We did talk about meeting up as he said he wanted us to be friends and he stills cares about me (apparently). But to me that is just messing with my head - you either want to be with me or you don’t! And he chose the latter.
At the start I took a weeks leave from work (I’m a PhD researcher) and I spent that week in bed, crying, eating chocolate very stereotypical. But something clicked in me and thought this could be a blessing in disguise. He was a commitment-phobe, gaslighted me several times and I was always left wondering where this is going and if it’s my fault. It’s made it hard because it happened in lockdown but in a way I’m glad I couldn’t go anywhere and just look after myself. I’m learning to drive after years of wanting to do it, I’ve started going to the gym again and I’m looking forward to the future.
I hope you continue to look after yourself. And yes, don’t check any social media!
Wow you are such an inspiration! Ive been with my boyfriend for 4 years on Tues (he won’t remember), has never said ‘I love you’ and has lied about loads of silly things and made out he hasn’t etc but I’m too afraid to leave even though it won’t go anywhere I am just forever hoping it will change for the better. Just wanted to say it. Just wanted to say that you’re amazing xIt’s a weird one isn’t it? We did talk about meeting up as he said he wanted us to be friends and he stills cares about me (apparently). But to me that is just messing with my head - you either want to be with me or you don’t! And he chose the latter.
At the start I took a weeks leave from work (I’m a PhD researcher) and I spent that week in bed, crying, eating chocolate very stereotypical. But something clicked in me and thought this could be a blessing in disguise. He was a commitment-phobe, gaslighted me several times and I was always left wondering where this is going and if it’s my fault. It’s made it hard because it happened in lockdown but in a way I’m glad I couldn’t go anywhere and just look after myself. I’m learning to drive after years of wanting to do it, I’ve started going to the gym again and I’m looking forward to the future.
I hope you continue to look after yourself. And yes, don’t check any social media!
Aw thank you. It’s so sh*t isn’t it? From what you’ve said, something in you knows this isn’t right. So in a way you’ve already made your decision. I was the same in my relationship, genuinely thought something would change & we’d settle down so it was a shock when he broke up with me (making out I was the problem). There is someone out there who will love you how you deserved to be loved x
I’m going through this at the minute. Watched SO many videos on narcissism, and the empath in me is almost self-destructive, but I’m keeping him at arms length.It’s a weird one isn’t it? We did talk about meeting up as he said he wanted us to be friends and he stills cares about me (apparently). But to me that is just messing with my head - you either want to be with me or you don’t! And he chose the latter.
At the start I took a weeks leave from work (I’m a PhD researcher) and I spent that week in bed, crying, eating chocolate very stereotypical. But something clicked in me and thought this could be a blessing in disguise. He was a commitment-phobe, gaslighted me several times and I was always left wondering where this is going and if it’s my fault. It’s made it hard because it happened in lockdown but in a way I’m glad I couldn’t go anywhere and just look after myself. I’m learning to drive after years of wanting to do it, I’ve started going to the gym again and I’m looking forward to the future.
I hope you continue to look after yourself. And yes, don’t check any social media!
So happy for you doing the things on your list that you’ve probably been putting off
I find that’s the best remedy and I’m trying to do the same 
Same here, the videos on narcissism are crazy arent they! How are you and your situation? xI’m going through this at the minute. Watched SO many videos on narcissism, and the empath in me is almost self-destructive, but I’m keeping him at arms length.
So happy for you doing the things on your list that you’ve probably been putting off
Yes, really eye-opening! Dr Ramani and Rebecca Zung vids are good.
I’m taking it one day at a time
thanks. Doing some self-care and keeping busy helps.