Sorry guys, here I am running in on my little legs! All good, just had a migraine over the weekend and a mega busy day yesterday, so only just caught up. Thanks to
@MrsOgre for getting the new thread going!
Anyway, here's a recap:
- Rachaele Hambleton is a cunt.
- she doesn't work either full or part time, and can't be arsed to parent her kids and step kids.
- Joshua Marshall was dismissed without notice from Devon and Cornwall Police for improperly accessing the police database, and using a false identity to contact members of the public
- the money rolling in from PatreCON/REBL/whatever other scam she's running is clearly burning a hole in Rabble's pockets, as she booked yet another weekend away in an Airbnb (in a location that could have been a day trip) for herself, Sloshy, and Wiblet (on another note, looks like everyone is sick of having him dumped on them all the time). Violently autistic Wilberforce seems to be coping exceptionally well with being here, there and everywhere every weekend, you'd never guess that he loves nothing more than his routine.
- sex loft ramble. Seb's passed his driving test, insurance drama (first says couldn't get it for under £4,600, then says £3,600). Slosh came up with a Stanley cup she's bought "for the Patreon giveaway". Jo's been on the beg for discount codes for PatreCON huns. Seb's lost his petrol cap already. They insured his car but didn't realise the MOT had run out, then it failed. Managed to shoehorn in that her period is due. Joyce was slagging off Bratsy and Seb. She said she's tried to move their family holiday because it clashes with Edie starting secondary school in September, it'll cost £7k to move two days so they might not be going (who is ske kidding, £20k a month from PatreCON and she can't afford £7k to change the holiday
)
- the gruesome twosome were joined on their weekend away by Bratsy, Edie and Edie's friend
- Ratfuck did a big beg for food for the pantry, saying "the shelves are empty, the fridge is empty", while videoing the very much not empty shelves and fridge. It worked though, because more sad sacks sent food shops ready for them to flog on.
- an evening with Bratsy warranted a grid post, saying they'd spent time talking about things from Betsy's childhood etc (despite the fact she should already know it all as she's apparently read all the shit books), and a gushing caption about how being a parent to an adult is amazing or something. Obligatory glasses of wine, even though Racquetball doesn't drink because she hates the taste
- Seb's 18th birthday dawned, with a reel and stories all about "my boy". I'll say it again for the people at the back, HE'S NOT YOUR SON RAQ
- back to business and the pantry was going to be closing early for "staff training". Seeing as it's only open for a couple of hours two days a week, and the only training required seems to be how to lay all the lush food (bought by the huns) out on the floor, it seems a bit pointless.
- Bratsy did an advert for razors, which included showing herself in the bath shaving her legs. Excellent behaviour from someone working in a school
Rabies said she'd ordered a starter kit using Bratsy's discount code, but she has previously advertised the same razors herself, so already has all the kit as a freebie.
- Fake Tan Fiona did an advert looking like she'd been dipped in creosote, her orangey brown face did match the leather sofa in the back lounge though so if that was the look she was going for, she absolutely nailed it.
- Wilbert was apparently having night terrors, so the parents of the year did exactly what any loving parents would - they brought him down to the lounge to watch telly. This then triggered a mention of Isaac having a night terror 9 years ago, where he was looking through the kitchen bin. Probably looking for his mum seeing as it would have been right around the time you stole him and Seb off her, you rancid old slapper.
- a Patreon spy shared some more videos from the last month - the first one was about how much she loves clothes but hates admitting that she's treated herself due to chrolls saying she's "robbed from Snatchwork". She reckons she has always always "saved up" to get herself nice things, and gave an example of saving to get a coat that cost £200 instead of a £40 one. A mention that Gangsta Gran has always done the same, and has a collection of designer bags and shoes that Rapido's got her beady eyes on as her inheritance. The next video showed Scammy Pammy admitting that she's only really doing PTWM so she can use it to promote REBL, completely forgetting that it only sells to the huns, and will probably tail off like Snatchwork the store has done. In another one, she said that they are cutting back the Snatchwork store, because the sales aren't as good as when it first launched, so she wants to focus on REBL (no mention that the store money goes to the CIC, but REBL goes straight in her pocket, which we all know is the real reason). She wants to move into a new build premises when the current leases run out, apparently she NEEDS office space. In the final video, Rumblestrip had been for a psychic reading. She claimed it was really good because the person had "named names", and gave the example of Jo being her PA. Because that's not someone she ever mentions a million times a day on her public social media accounts, is she?
The person apparently also named two people that Rabid is longer friends with, and specifically said they were "unsafe". I mean, who's the only person who ever refers to people she doesn't like as unsafe?
- in an effort to get engagement up (probably in advance of an upcoming ad), Ratshit asked people to send her a random day, month and year, and she'd upload a photo of video from that day. The highlights included breastfeeding Wilbert (with a caption of "... with my tit in his mouth"), Bratsy wanging on about starting a cake business, Jo at McDonald's drive through, and 14 year old Bratsy having been caught with a bottle of wine in her bag. Imagine having that much shit in your phone to be able to access all the time
- Doormat Jo was off for a "cutncolour" in Exeter, but had to be driven by Ratchet for reasons unknown.
- Wilbert had to spend the night in hospital due to his persistent ear infections, and Rabies stayed with him while SLOSHY WENT HOME, WITHOUT HER. How ever did she cope not having eyes on him for a whole night? She was probably watching his every move on the CCTV (#ad)
- on a PatreCON live, Rancho was complaining about Wilbert being ill and who's going to look after him if he gets sent home from school (yes, they stopped sent him in). Joyce will be working, she is SO BUSY with hundreds of teddy fleeces to send out, and she can't possibly delay that, can she? Bemoaning that they have no childcare, and that Merlot Malcolm having a little part time job means he's not available. Despite rambling on for ages about how bad Joyce's mental health got when he wasn't working, she went on to say that there was definitely a job for him at REBL doing customer service, so she's definitely angling for him to jack in yet another job to be her lapdog.
- another PatreCON - this time with a mention of some kids at Edie's school taking the piss out of Wilbur for being autistic, then she went into grief thief mode, talking about the boy from Edie's school who passed away recently . She claimed the head had rung her, called her Rach, and was crying on the phone about having to do a full school assembly about it. Of course Edie was only kid who "held it together" and "was his best friend", despite being a year older than him. Oh, and she was going around hugging everyone, even the teachers, and the kids who'd been horrible about Wilbert. Following this, she moved on to Seb and Katie's contraception arrangements , or rather lack of, because apparently Seb told her that he's just pulling out. Yep, we all needed to know that hun
then we had to hear about how all Bratsy's mates were on ket when she went to Boomtown, which is why she wanted to come home early.
- we have finally found out what Josh's job is, he's working in a local shop selling telescopes, binoculars etc, and appearing on their social media. Dull as fuck for most of us, but obviously he's in his element.
- the next REBL drop is coming, exactly the same hoodie but in a different colour, and leggings with the writing in a different colour. Hardly Vivienne Westwood. Again, Edie's in all the promo shoots, despite there not being any children's sizes available.
- the next upcoming scam is a fitness app
because there aren't already millions of those available at all. Of course Emma the PT is really lush, the gym is really lush, and if there's money to be made, old Scambleton is all over it like a rash.
- Valentine's Day dawned, and the greatest love story was cemented by Sloshy's heartfelt little ditty, in which he rhymed "year" with "smear" (as in, smear test). Do you love it, bubs?
- she's taken Wilbur to see a homeopath to try and clear up his persistent ear infections. I mean, the money would be better spent on a private ENT specialist rather than some charlatan selling woo-woo juice, but whatever.
- Rabid has changed the bio on the REBL page to say "rebel with a cause @parttimeworkingmummy". I don't know about anyone else, but it feels like she's trying to imply that money raised from selling tracksuits and fleeces will be going towards her (made up) work with domestic abuse survivors, which we all know it definitely is not
- Rambo shared one of their wedding pics and asked which of the kids people though she looked like, then seemed mardy that they'd said Lula
- despite it being half term and being so incredibly busy sending out fleeces that she was worried about childcare, Rhubarb had a nice child free day out shopping with Slosh in Totnes. They spent £100 on plates and cups in a shop, but forgot to go back and pick them up, bought loads of tat (tacky jewellery and hair accessories), some clothes and a £17.50 chicken. Then they were off to the pub for a drink, even though she doesn't drink.
- it was Isaac's birthday, and Ratchet proceeded to show a load of very old pictures of him (like when he was still in primary school). Tell me he doesn't live there without telling me he doesn't live there
- Joyce texted like a good little boy telling Rhubarb that he'd seen 2 people wearing "her" cranberry on school run. He probably didn't, but wanted to massage her ego in the hope he'd get a bit extra pocket money.
- poor old Winston has got so poorly that they're having to have him put to sleep. For possibly the first time ever, Racket looked genuinely upset, and was actually crying (as opposed to the fake sobbing she usually musters up). Despite being the worst chrolls ever, Tattle bastards can relate and have sympathy for the family. Unfortunately Rabies can't even let her children grieve in peace, shoving her phone in their faces constant to record and then share their devastation with the huns. The cynical among us wonder whether she will use Winston's passing to get engagement at an all time high, then bang out a load of adverts. RIP Winston from all the Tattle trolls
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